One: The Proposition

In Which Our Protagonists Meet

Link wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, but he was pretty sure it hadn't been the clean, pretty building he found himself stood in front of. Its walls were a bright white, probably recently repainted, the open front door and windows a cheerful red. There were hanging baskets on either side of the door, and the sign above the it – which didn't creak when it swung and was also red – was a picture of a flagon with Telma's painted across it.

So, he really was in the right place. Telma's Bar and Inn, an unexpected spot of brightness along the dreary road between Kakariko and Castle Town.

Sounds of merriment and the clinking of glasses emanated from inside, mixed with the smells of alcohol and roasting meat. Link's stomach rumbled as he checked the sign again, still not sure why he was so surprised to find himself here.

Rummaging around in his pockets, he retrieved the little wooden mask, and read the two lines of neat black letters on the back for the dozenth time.

Telma's Bar and Inn, two weeks from now, midday.

Want to be free of that shadow following you? I know a way, so come see me.

It had been a gamble, following unsigned instructions on a creepy mask from someone who clearly knew a lot more about Link than Link knew about them, but if Telma's really existed, then maybe there was someone who could help him.

He wouldn't get his hopes up, though.

Taking a deep breath, he steeled himself and headed inside. Better to go in and risk being disappointed than to stand outside dithering until it was too late.

A wall of warmth hit him as he stepped through the door, the once-muffled voices now suddenly overwhelming; there were so many people talking that he couldn't distinguish more than a few words every now and then. He took a moment to adjust, then took stock of his surroundings.

The room was long and low-ceilinged, filled with the hazy grey morning light, and had a flagstone floor and walls a slightly more faded white than the exterior. Tables stuffed with people filled the space, and Link was surprised by how busy it was, considering there was no civilisation within a day's walk in any direction. A lot of people were travelling today, apparently.

To the left of the front door stood the bar, which had a staircase on either side of it, one going up, the other down. Behind the bar stood a solidly built, red-haired and red-lipped woman, who smiled when she caught Link's eye. He approached, glancing at the other patrons as he went. They all blended together – a mass of Hylians in standard travelling gear – except for a few of them. A lone Goron, sat at packed table, whose laugh occasionally drowned out all other sounds; two Zora everyone was giving a wide berth, one of whom flashed Link an unfriendly smile full of shark teeth when they caught Link looking; a man with copper hair at the very back of the room staring unflinchingly at him, and who sat with a distinctly shady-looking hooded figure.

The man in particular caught his attention, because he refused to stop staring even when Link held his gaze for a moment, and there was something about his smile that was even more intimidating than the Zora's. From where Link stood it seemed unnaturally wide and white; he looked away swiftly and continued his trek to the bar.

'You look like you could use a drink,' the barkeep said, a warm, much more human smile on her face.

'Uh, yeah. Mead, please,' Link replied as he glanced back towards the man. He was still staring, and this time when their eyes met he beckoned. Link shuddered involuntarily; the thought of approaching didn't appeal.

'Something on your mind, honey?' the woman – Link assumed she was the Telma the inn was named after – asked.

He looked back at her and managed a wan smile. 'Just…looking for someone. I'm s'posed to be meeting them here.'

Telma gave the room a swift once-over as she produced a tankard and filled it. 'We're busy today, but I hope you find them.' She pushed the drink towards him. 'That'll be five rupees.'

After fishing the money out and handing it over, he grabbed the tankard, took a deep breath, and headed for the grinning man. It was a bad idea – horrible, even – but the man seemed to know who he was, which most likely made him the sender of the cryptic mask-message. And it wasn't like he could do anything; they were in a room jampacked with nosy travellers.

As he approached the man and his hooded companion, whose table was stationed under a window on the far right of the room, he noticed a bulging sack tucked between the man's chair and the wall. He couldn't tell what was inside, but it was decorated with an assortment of masks that ranged from cute to creepy to downright terrifying.

Oh yes, this was definitely the person who'd contacted him.

'Welcome!' the grinning man cried as Link approached, waving a hand at the two unoccupied seats at the table. 'Link, I presume? Please, sit.'

Stopping a few feet away, Link eyed the man and then the hooded figure. The latter sat trapped between the table and the wall behind it, with the former sat to their left. Deciding to put as much distance between himself and the man as he could, Link picked the chair directly opposite his.

When he went to put down his drink, phantom fingers pinched the back of his hand, hard, and he yelped, mead sloshing out of the tankard as he jerked his arm back in response. He managed to keep it from spilling everywhere, but it ran over his fingers and some of it splashed dangerously close to the hooded figure's hands, who pulled them out of harm's way with a sharp click of their tongue.

'Sorry,' Link said, sitting down quickly as his cheeks flamed with a mixture of embarrassment and irritation. He set the tankard down firmly, then wiped his damp fingers uselessly on his cloak. His glove was going to reek of alcohol for ages.

He felt like he could feel Hoody's gaze on him, and it felt distinctly disdainful.

To distract them all from his mishap, Link turned to the grinning man – whose grin, amazingly, seemed even wider up close – and said, 'So you're the one who sent me that mask…thing?'

'I am indeed,' the man replied with a nod. His face was all sharp angles, and though it wasn't lined at all Link got the impression he was much older than him.

'Okay. Why?'

Hoody tutted again, drumming their fingers on the table. There was a similar mask sat in front of them, Link noticed. 'Don't bother asking him questions. He's not going to answer them.' They were wearing gloves of their own, green and velvety, and their voice was flat and vaguely feminine.

'Why not?'

'Now, now,' the man said with a distinctly sour look at Hoody. 'There's no need for that. I shall indeed answer your question: I contacted you with the intention of presenting to you a mutually beneficial…quest, shall we say.'

'Oh, so you refuse to answer any of my questions for two hours, but the minute this guy gets here you're happy to share?' Hoody slapped their hands down on the table with a light thump.

'My dear, you really do need to work on your patience. I'm only telling him what you already know.'

'Okay, so what's the "mutually beneficial quest"?' Link asked, already pitying Hoody for having had to spend two hours alone with this guy.

'Ah.' The grinning man raised a finger. 'That I cannot answer.'

'But you-'

The grin widened fractionally. '-Yet. We still have an empty seat at our table; I require a third before I can divulge that information.'

Hoody tipped back their head and groaned loudly. Their hood shifted, revealing a brief flash of what looked like blonde hair. 'Are you serious?'

'Patience, my dear. I keep telling you.'

Link pressed his lips together and glanced between the pair, hoping this mysterious fourth person would show up soon. He didn't think he could stand two hours of these guys bickering.

'I would just force him to tell you,' a voice whispered in his ear, a sensation like cold breath on the back of his neck sending a shiver down his spine.

'Nobody asked you,' he muttered, turning to look out over the bar as he did. In his peripheral vision, he could see the grinning man and all the masks on his bag watching him. He was still smiling, but he wasn't showing his teeth anymore.

Clearing his throat, Link rolled his shoulders, and the cold receded reluctantly. He swallowed twice then looked at Hoody, trying to guess what they looked like under the hood.

'Aren't you hot in that thing?' he asked, eyeing the thick fabric. They were sat by an open window, sure, but he was warm and he was only wearing one layer.

Hoody didn't respond for a moment, then they shifted slowly. 'Me?'

'Yeah.'

'Not really.'

They shrugged, and Link was pretty sure they were lying, but he understood wanting to keep your identity a secret. Especially when it was a person like the grinning man you were talking to.

That being said, the man had known a lot more about him than Link felt comfortable with, so he doubted the guy didn't know Hoody's identity. Why were they here? Was the man dangling some sort of secret or salvation over their head, like he was Link?

'Why are you here, then?' Link asked, because why wonder when he could just ask?

'Why do you care?' Hoody replied, and Link felt his expression turn sour as their voice turned almost accusing. 'Why are you here?'

Link held up his hands in surrender; he didn't want to share that information either. 'Fair enough. Just trying to start a conversation.' He paused and ran a list of questions through his head. 'Where are you from, then?'

'Again, why do you care?'

He scowled. 'I'm trying to be friendly. Clearly, the feeling's not mutual.'

'You're right, it's not.' Hoody sat back and folded their arms, looking away pointedly.

Link peered at the shadows under their hood, but they were too thick and too deliberately cast for him to glean anything. He suddenly wasn't sure who he pitied more for having to spend so much time at a table together: grinning man or Hoody.

They sat in silence, and it might have been more awkward if Link hadn't been able to eavesdrop on other people. There was a shady merchant nearby trying to convince a table full of travellers she was a bona fide adventurer so that she could sell wares he'd would bet anything were fake; there were the two Zora he couldn't understand as they spoke in their own tongue; there was the Goron, whose voice swamped everybody else's, though Link wasn't sure if it counted as eavesdropping if he didn't have to work to hear what was being said.

Listening as he was, it was easy to notice when the sound suddenly dropped, a nervous kind of hush falling over the room. Twisting in his seat, Link looked for the source of the disturbance and found it in the form of a Gerudo stood at the front door. With their back to the sunlight streaming in from outside their features were cast in shadow, but they were still unmistakably Gerudo. They moved further into the room, out of the darkness, and revealed himself to be a tall, broad man with an impressive sword strapped to his back and the signature brown skin, bright orange hair, and golden eyes of his people.

Eyes that latched almost immediately onto Link's table – or more specifically, the grinning man who was half out of his seat, beckoning as he had to Link. The Gerudo's gaze was impenetrable, and he ignored all the Hylians gawping at him as he crossed the crowded room with fluid grace, not bumping into a single thing despite his size.

Much like Link had, he stopped beside the table and looked the three of them over before sinking into the remaining seat. Behind him, the room slowly came to life again, though everyone (save for the Goron) seemed to be talking much more quietly now. Everyone wanted to know why a Gerudo had come to an inn in the middle of nowhere, in Hyrule no less.

'You are the one who sent this?' he asked, his voice deep and accented, as he placed a small wooden mask almost identical to Link's on the table.

He reminded Link of a bird of prey, not just because of his piercing yellow gaze or hawkish features, but also because of the way he held himself; gracefully with a quiet confidence that told of the strength beneath his calm composure. Link had only ever met a couple of Gerudo before, all of them women, but they had given the same impression.

'That I am, that I am,' the grinning man said with a nod. He was full on grinning again now, disconcertingly delighted as he clapped his hands together and glanced between the three poor saps he had summoned to this inn.

'Are you going to tell us why we're here now?' Hoody asked, leaning forward to rest their elbows on the table. Their beige sleeves fell down to reveal pale wrists struck through with blue veins, and Link wondered vaguely if they ever saw the sun under that thing.

'Well, now that you're all assembled, I don't see why not!' The man paused, and Link was startled as the grin slipped from his face and his expression turned serious as he studied them each in turn. 'You all know why you're here, so let's not beat around the bush.' Hoody snorted, but he ignored her. 'You are all, I do believe, searching for a miracle. I am here to provide you with one.

'There is an ancient power, here in our lovely Hyrule, known as the Triforce. It was created by the Goddesses and gifted to our mortal ancestors, and is said to be able to grant the wishes of those who assemble- are you alright, my dear?'

Link was most definitely not alright. At the mention of the Triforce – something he had read about in books and heard of in songs – a writhing, seething anger had made him stiffen in his seat. It wasn't his own, it was too cold and hard, but it consumed him from within until all he could think about was getting his hands around the grinning man's throat and choking the life out of him before he could say another word.

His right hand curled into a fist, trembling with the strain, as Link swallowed hard and tried to breathe around the fury choking him.

'I'm fine,' he managed, forcing it down, down, down, until it simmered in his stomach but stopped clouding his thoughts. His right hand went limp. 'Go on.'

'Heard of it before, have you?' the grinning man asked, and there was something in his eyes that made Link think he knew exactly what had just happened. It couldn't have been hard to miss the sudden fury that had probably appeared unbidden on his face. The Gerudo was watching him too, expression unreadable. It appeared Hoody couldn't care less.

'Only from legends. I thought it was a myth,' Link replied, his voice harder than he intended, but the anger was receding, slinking away like a sulking child.

'Oh, it's very real. And I am offering the three of you the chance to find it.' The grinning man sat back and spread his hands. 'But where are my manners? We haven't even introduced ourselves yet! I am the Happy Mask Salesman, and I'm so very glad you could all make it today.' He bobbed a little bow in his seat.

'That's not a name,' Hoody said after a moment. 'It's a job.'

'And yet, it's what I'm called.' The 'Happy Mask Salesman' turned to look at Link, deliberately cutting off Hoody, eyebrows raised and expression encouraging.

Link hesitated, not quite sure what he wanted, then sighed. 'I'm, uh, Link. Nice to meet you I guess?' He lifted his hand in half-hearted greeting as Hoody snorted softly, and he scowled. 'Okay, seriously, what's your problem?'

'Me?' Hoody asked, and sighed when Link didn't respond. 'What's your problem? I'm here for answers, not to make friends. I've been sat with this asshole for two hours and yet, somehow, even though you two have finally showed up, I'm still not getting any answers!'

'This would go a lot more smoothly if you would cooperate,' the Happy Mask Salesman said in a sing-song tone, and Hoody curled their hands into fists. 'I've told you again and again; be patient and all will be explained.'

'I am Ganondorf,' the Gerudo said abruptly, interrupting whatever Hoody had probably been about to say. The Happy Mask Salesman smiled at him, and then they all looked at Hoody.

'Zelda,' they said after a moment, and it sounded like they were gritting their teeth. Then, to Link's surprise, they reached up and tugged down their hood. As with Telma's, Link wasn't sure why he was so surprised as he finally saw Zelda's face, but he was. He'd been expecting someone meaner-looking, he supposed, to match their attitude.

He hadn't been expecting the face of a young woman. She was pale, with a pointy chin and hollow cheeks, and she had a strip of what looked like green silk tied over her eyes. He wondered if she was blind. Her hair was long and blonde and drawn back in a plait, which she tugged over her shoulder so that she could fiddle with the end of it. She might have been pretty, maybe even beautiful, if it wasn't for her sour expression and all the hostility she had thus far displayed.

'Excellent!' The Happy Mask Salesman clapped his hands together, apparently delighted. 'You're beginning to understand!'

'Go fuck yourself,' Zelda said, as she set an elbow on the table with a heavy thunk. 'But before you do, explain.'

'Ah, to be young,' the Happy Mask Salesman said, with a wistful little sigh. Then his expression turned towards serious and he drew a map from…somewhere, unfurling it and spreading it across the table. Link lifted his tankard out of the way, setting it down to pin a corner when it threatened to curl up again.

'Now, the Triforce. As I said, it's an ancient relic that grants wishes, and it currently lies dormant in three separate pieces scattered across Hyrule. I will give you the locations of each piece in exchange for your help in locating a fourth object.'

'What is the fourth object?' Ganondorf asked, when the Happy Mask Salesman fell silent.

'A mask,' he replied, ignoring Zelda when she gave another derisive little snort. 'A particularly precious mask that escaped my possession some time ago. I would like it back.'

They were all quiet for a moment. Ganondorf and Zelda surveyed the map – or Zelda seemed to – but Link watched the Happy Mask Salesman with a frown. The guy creeped him out, but he seemed to really believe the Triforce was real. Link had never placed much stock in the myth himself, but the way that anger had risen at the mention of it…Even if it was real, though, all those old songs and legends said it had been lost to time. Sealed away, never to been seen or touched by mortal hands again.

It felt too good to be true. It was too convenient that this amazing wish-granting power really existed, and that the Happy Mask Salesman just so happened to know where it was. Not only that, but he was willing to tell them where in exchange for…what, just a mask?

'If you know where all the Triforce pieces are,' Link said after a few seconds, 'Why don't you just go and find them yourself? And then wish for your mask back?'

The Happy Mask Salesman somehow smiled wider. How his face hadn't split yet, Link wasn't sure. 'What an excellent question! The Triforce is incredibly powerful, and can only be contained as three separate parts or whole. To hold an incomplete Triforce – that is to say, two pieces – is to invoke the wrath of the goddesses.'

It was Ganondorf's turn to snort. 'These are not my goddesses, so who is to say their wrath will fall on me?'

'This may be so, but the power of the Triforce is very real,' the Happy Mask Salesman replied, and there was a warning in his tone. 'Be it divine wrath or some other force, you will die if you attempt to take two pieces for yourself.'

'So that's why there are three of us.' Zelda pressed her lips into a flat line. 'But that still doesn't answer the question of why you're doing this. Why bother with this Triforce at all? Why not just hire some goons to find your mask?'

The Happy Mask Salesman gave a laugh. 'Why not? I'm a busy man, and my combat skills are somewhat lacking. The three of you are able and willing, and what do you have to lose?'

'How did you even find us?' Link asked, and he could see something souring in the man's expression, like he didn't appreciate all the questions.

'A magician must never reveal his secrets,' he answered, and spread his hands over the map. 'Now, would you like to learn how to save yourselves, or would you like to keep badgering me?' None of them replied, and that grin widened once more. 'Excellent!

'There are four places the Triforce pieces could be, and they are as follows: deep within an ancient forest; way across a burning desert; high amongst the snowy mountains; and far below a dying lake. My mask is hiding in one of them, as well, though I am not quite sure which.'

'Your directions are very…vague,' Ganondorf piped up, still looking at the map. 'You cannot be more specific?'

'I cannot,' the Happy Mask Salesman said cheerily. 'But, better than searching the entire world, no?'

They all sat in silence again. Link peered at the map too, trailing his eyes over the carefully inked lines, searching for what could be the locations. As Ganondorf had said, they were infuriatingly vague, but Link supposed the Salesman wasn't wrong either.

'Give us some names, maybe?' Zelda demanded more than asked, picking at the edge of the map closest to her. 'Some of us can't see the map.'

So she was blind. Link inspected the silk over her eyes and wondered what she was hiding.

'Of course, my dear.' The Happy Mask Salesman gave the map a quick glance. 'Lake Hylia, the Snowpeak Mountains, the Gerudo Desert, and Faron Woods.'

Link scrunched up his face. Those were all ancient, haunted places, with goddesses knew what horrors lurking within.

'Here's hoping you get eaten by vengeful spirits,' a voice murmured, half inside his head, half out.

'Ghosts don't eat people,' Link replied quietly, barely mouthing the words.

'That's what you think.'

He never knew what was worse, the way its thoughts and feelings – if a demon really had any feelings – bled into his own, or how it would constantly poke and prod at his. Even when he wanted to ignore it, he would always somehow end up engaging with it.

'Did you say something?' Zelda asked, head turning in his direction.

'No,' he answered as a cold laugh echoed inside his skull.

'But seriously,' Zelda continued, rotating back towards the Happy Mask Salesman, clearly deciding to believe – or more likely disregard – Link. 'Why contact us? Why tell us where the Triforce is at all? And let me just get this straight: you trust us to still get your mask even though you've already told us where to find the Triforce pieces?'

The Happy Mask Salesman's face tightened ever so slightly, and Link wondered what he would be like angry. Would he still have that grin firmly in place? The thought made him shudder.

Zelda had a point, though. What was stopping them from just saying 'fuck it' and leaving the mask?

The tapping of one index finger against the table the only indication the Happy Mask Salesman was annoyed as he said, 'Well, it's quite simple. If you do not return with my mask…then you won't get your wish.'

'And why is that?' Zelda asked, raising her eyebrows.

'You cannot simply bring the three pieces together and hope they stick. There is a fifth location – one known only to myself – that is the only place the Triforce can be reassembled. And if you do not bring me my mask, I will not tell you that fifth location.'

Silence. The Goron a few tables over gave another raucous laugh that made Link jump.

So that was it. Those were the terms. Find the mask, find the pieces, and get their wishes granted, whatever they were. Link could only assume Zelda and Ganondorf's situations were as grave as his, for them to be willing to go to such lengths.

If they were willing, that was. Link couldn't be sure yet. Glancing at them, he found himself properly considering, for the first time, why they were both here.

'All right. I'm in.' Zelda was the first to react, her voice hard and determined.

The Happy Mask Salesman raised a finger. 'Now, I must make it clear that teamwork is imperative here. None of you will get your wishes if you don't cooperate with each other. You cannot go off on your own, or abandon your companions. Do you think you can handle that?' He was looking pointedly at Zelda in particular, and she scowled.

'Fuck off,' she replied, pointing a finger first at Link then at Ganondorf. 'Well? What're you two going to do?'

'I'm in,' Link said without hesitation, hissing as sharp pain shot up his right arm. He rolled his shoulder to shake it off, even though it felt like someone were driving countless needles into his arm.

'Yes, I am also…in,' Ganondorf chimed in after a glance at Link, who shot him a wan smile.

'Great,' Zelda said before the Happy Mask Salesman could speak, not sounding happy in the least. 'Don't get in my way.'

'Charming,' Link muttered with a roll of his eyes.

'Oh, I'm so glad you all agreed to help!' the Happy Mask Salesman sang with a soft round of applause that felt like he was mocking them. 'I knew you would, of course, but I'm so glad!'

'How will we contact you when we find your mask?' Zelda enquired as the Happy Mask Salesman pushed himself slowly to his feet, looking for all the world like he had every intent of just leaving it at that.

'Oh, you needn't worry about that,' he said with a soft giggle. 'All you need to do is find it. And, of course, the Triforce pieces. I wish you all the best of luck! And remember, this task can only be completed by the three of you. No more, no less.'

Link tilting his head back to peer at the Salesman. 'No more?'

'No more,' he repeated, nodding slightly. 'I'm so glad you understand.'

Hefting his bag onto his back, the masks dangling from it clacking together lightly, he stood grinning at them for a moment, bent under the weight of his wares. Link didn't want to know how many masks he'd crammed in that thing. The ones on the outside were creepy enough; it felt like they were all staring at him.

Then, with a small bow that threatened to topple him over, the Happy Mask Salesman walked away. 'The very best of luck!' he called back to them with a short wave, and Link watched, impressed, as he made it all the way to the door without nudging a single person or piece of furniture with that ridiculous bag of his.

And just like that, Link found himself alone with two strangers – one of whom was especially unfriendly – wondering what exactly he had just got himself into.