"L-lucy, I don't think this is a good idea." I said fighting feebily to stay in my apartment. It had taken me forever to find one the perfect size. A size that won't cause me to hyperventalate every time I walked in. I was loath to leave it.
"Alice it's for you own good. We don't even have to go in any stores, you just have to spend your twenty minutes in a crowded area." She said happily, easily dragging me out of the door and locking every one of my many locks. "Why did I ever let you talk to my psychotrist?" I whined, watching her snap the locks, flinching at every click.
She looked over her shoulder at me and gave me a sweet smile before saying, "You didn't, I called her to make sure that you were doing what you were supposed to." She grabbed my hand, "And imagine my suprise when I learned that you had't been doing anything at all!"
As she pulled me out of my apartment building, I latched myself to her side. My hands were curled in her sweater like I was a scared three-year-old on his first day of school. I walked so close to her it was a suprise that we didn't fall over. Lucy didn't comment on how I had attached myself to her hip, she just drapped an arm over me and cooed at me like I was a frightened pet.
She led me to a bench and sat down, keeping me cuddled in her arms. I breathed deeply and evenly focusing all of my attention on the air cycling through my lungs. I shakily peeked out from Lucy's arms and took in my surroudings.
Oh god, there were people everywhere and they were all moving so fast, and what-what would happen if Lucy let me go? Would I get lost? Would they trample me? People have been crushed by crowds before, it happens all the time, oh, oh, oh-!
I see a flicker of black from the corner of my eye and turn toward it. I see a tall boy in a black outfit walking down the street, and I can't help but stare. He's barely got his eyes open as he walks like he's being stared at, shoulders hunched, head down. But he's not flinching like I would've. Every car that goes by, ignored, every too fast walker, ignored. It's like we're not here. No that's not right, it's like he's done this so many times, been stuck in the same routine that he can't be startled by anything anymore.
I watched him walk through the crowd, a feat I never could have done, and turn a corner. I stared at that corner for the rest of my twenty minutes. Lucy almost had to drag me away. I-I was afraid.
I was afraid of two things. I was afraid that if I didn't watch out for him then I would miss him. But more so, I was afraid that he would come back.
It wasn't till much later, that I recognized him as the boy I had sung to.
I had to take sleeping pills that night.
