Disclaimer: Neither Li or I own Harry Potter. Well, I don't, anyway, but I can't speak for Li.

(A/N: Hi, Kinz here. I haven't seen Li since school let out almost a month ago, and I ended up with the notebook, so I typed everything we had up –basically three quarters of this chapter- and added a bit so that it didn't just leave off. And I haven't talked to Li about posting this, but like I said, I haven't heard from her lately and I thought that you people might be getting annoyed/impatient/insert-other-emotion-here. I'll call her maybe this weekend and see where things are. Maybe we can get together and write this. Oh, and James' thoughtsarebold,Lily's are initalics.Anyway, long enough A/N, so I'll let you read now)


"Let me get this straight," Sirius Black said, shaking his head. "You and Evans wrote letters to each other using false names. Am I correct?"

"Shh!" James hissed, looking at the girl cuddled up, asleep, in his lap. Her red hair fanned out across James' lap, her face content.

"But letters?"

"Shh!" James repeated, but it was too late. The figure on his lap stirred and sat up, rubbing her eyes.

"Who woke me up?" she growled. James and Sirius looked at each other nervously.

"He did," both of them said simultaneously, pointing at each other. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Now, Lily, who would you believe, your boyfriend or this immature little boy?"

Lily tilted her head, considering this. "Well, normally I'd trust my boyfriend, but considering who my boyfriend is… ack!"

James smirked but continued tickling her mercilessly. "Who do you believe now?"

"You!" Lily choked out. "Stop it!" James stopped immediately and Lily narrowed her eyes. "And if he woke me up, what were you two talking about?"

"Nothing…" James said, shooting a warning glance at Sirius. Sirius either didn't see it or didn't take a hint.

"We were talking about how Jamsie and you hooked up. Y'know, with the letters and all."

"You did WHAT!" Lily exclaimed, climbing off James' lap and glaring at him.

"Lily, I-"

"You told him about the letters?" Lily screeched. "How could you? You promised to never tell about them! You had better hope to God that he's never seen the letters, or I swear I will pull your spleen out your nose!"

"Whoa," Sirius said. "Your girlfriend is violent, Prongs."

"I'll say. I still have the marks where she last kicked me."

"You deserved. I would've done more had there not been teachers around," Lily said, walking away towards the girls' stairs. "You turned my hair pink! You knew how much I hate pink! In fact…" she walked over and kicked James in the shin.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You know bloody well what that was for!" She turned to leave, but James caught her arm and pulled her down into his lap.

"I'm sorry, Lily," he whispered in her ear. "Come on, forgive me. You know you want to…"

She pulled away from his embrace. "Potter, did you show him the letters?"

"He didn't. He said no at the very beginning, before I even had a chance to ask," Sirius put in. Lily relaxed a little but mostly remained tense.

"So what did you tell him?" Lily asked, standing up and crossing her arms.

"Only that you two were exchanging letters for a couple months. He didn't say anything personal.," Sirius explained, obviously not wanting to be on lily's bad side.

"He better not have said anything," Lily muttered. "Or forget his nose – I'll pull his spleen out his ears!"

"Both of them?" Remus asked, walking into the room.

"Oui. You can get the desired effect until you feel the spleen coming out both ears."

"And how would you know that?" Sirius asked.

"You don't want t o know." She turned back to James. "I might forgive you if you can convince me."

James smirked., "I think I can do that." He looked up at Sirius. "Padfoot, Moony, you're gonna have to leave."

"Aww, why?" Sirius did his best pout, but Lily scowled at him and he backed away. Remus led him through the portrait hole.

Instantly, James was on Lily, fusing their mouths and not pulling back until they were both gasping for breath.

He looked into her eyes and saw that they held doubt and disbelief. She didn't trust him. She thought he had betrayed her. He climbed off the chair and walked over to the fireplace, running a hand through his hair. Lily followed him, worried but at the same time smiling at his absentminded vanity.

"James, what's wrong?"

"What do I have to do to prove myself to you, Lily? What can I possibly change? Because I'll do it."

"I… I don't understand…"

"You don't trust me, Lily. You're holding back. I'm giving you everything and you-" He turned and sat on a chair, his head in his hands. Lily stayed where she was, confusion painted all over her face.

"James, I trust you. I never would have let you do anything if I didn't."

"No, Lily, you wouldn't. If you did, you wouldn't have that look in your eyes."

Lily snorted. "A look in my eyes? That's about the corniest thing I've ever heard."

"Lok, if there's something wrong, tell me and I'll fix it. I'll do anything for you. Just trust me, Lily."

"He's sweet, Lily. I'd trust him if I were you," a new, feminine voices said from behind them. Lily and James both whipped around and glared with identical glares at the intruder, who held up her hands in defense. "Alright, going now," she said, walking out the portrait hole.

"I still don't get it," Lily said.

"Well, then, I'll just leave you alone for a while so you can try and figure it out." He stood up, grabbing his cloak, and was through the portrait hall before she could say a word.


Why won't she trust me?

Why can't I trust him?

Why doesn't she get it?

Why can't he be more understanding?

A million thoughts ran through James' head as he stormed down the corridor, and a million more ran through Lily's as she watched him go.

Lily ran up the spiral stairs to her dorm, buried her face in her pillow, and screamed. She had no idea why she couldn't trust him. It wasn't that she didn't want to trust him; she did.

And she did trust him in a way; like she said, she would never have let him kiss her or fallen asleep on his lap if she didn't trust him. It apparently wasn't enough for James to see, and for all the letters they wrote, he didn't seem to know anything about her.

There was a problem, she reflected. Things had been so crazy lately that she didn't even know herself anymore. First she poured out her soul to someone she didn't know, through letters, then, the person she wrote the letters to turned out to be her enemy. Now he was her boyfriend, except he just accused her of not trusting him, and walked out.

Maybe there was something seriously wrong with her, she reasoned. Or maybe she was just too much of a bitch to appreciate a good thing.

Neither was a particularly good choice.

Meanwhile, James was roaming the school. He had sighed again when he heard it. The sound that instilled fear into his heart.

Lola insert-forgotten-last-name-here, rabid fangirl.

"JAAAAMES!" came here nigh, nasal voice, entirely to close to him. "Jamsie, wait up!'

Usually James was really quite understanding when it came to annoying underclassmen. Honestly. But today… He turned around to face Lola, his face stolid and blank. "Go away, Lola."

You know what? Lily thought to herself. "I'm probably wrong. I'm probably totally missing something extremely important. Maybe… maybe she should go apologize…

She got off her bed and went downstairs, bumping into a fifth-year who seemed close to tears. Unfortunately, A.) Lily didn't feel like comforting hormonal teenagers, and B.) she was annoying (the girl, not Lily). So Lily went on her way and left the girl (Lola, she thought the name was ) to cast her a nasty glare. She was soon stopped by someone calling her name.

"OI! LILY!"

She mentally groaned. "What, Black?"

"Have you made up with James yet?" Sirius asked, coming to walk beside her.

"Not exactly. Have you seen him?" Lily asked, trying to stay calm while faced with the reason, or one of them, why James and her were fighting. If Black hadn't said anything or asked about the letters, maybe this fight wouldn't have happened. Or happened now, anyway.

"No. I thought he was still with you," Sirius frowned. "Did he storm out on you or something?"

"Where do you think he would be?" Lily asked, ignoring Sirius' question.

"Um, I'd guess the Room of Requirement," Sirius answered, looking thoughtful. "We're really not supposed to tell anyone about it, but he loves you, so... turn right at that corner, and then left at the next opportunity, and walk back and forth three times thinking really hard about what you want. A door should open, and I'm thinking that's where you'll find James. But don't tell him I told you how."

"No more secrets," Lily told him. "If he asks, I'm telling. Thanks." And she ran off in the indicated direction, leaving Sirius to whine,

"But Lilykins, the rest of the Marauders will kill me if they knew I told you!"

Luckily for Sirius, he was instantly mobbed by groupies wanting him to make him cheered up.


(A/N: Hope you liked. It's a little more serious than Dear Whoever was, but we'll work on that. )