Note: A bit of a TBW for this batch, I think. Some PTSD-esque happenings here.

"I Feel…"

Indifferent

There was something about the rain.

When it fell in sheets like this, strong enough to soak you through but steady enough for its pounding to be soothing. Or at least it should have been soothing. To anyone but her it probably was. The steady pound caused chills to reverberate through her just as the thunder did the black clouds. She jumped on occasion, but it had nothing to do with the lighting that lit the upper levels of sky. It was storms like that that caused her to fall into a trance-like state that made her wander. She knew it wasn't good, wasn't safe – she had been fortunate Arc was with her the time she had unwittingly wandered into the street and, if not for him, would have been run down by a carriage – but she couldn't stop it. Couldn't shake the feeling of…

She didn't even want to name it. Insurmountable loss. Soul-aching pain. That feeling that she had lost something that should never have been lost and…

And there it was, the real crux of the matter. She remembered all too well that crushing feeling, and it was that same fear that overcame her and made her do crazy things every time she heard the rain.

Like how she knew it was crazy – dangerous, stupid – to stand out in the storm like this, arms and legs bare as the freezing drizzle pelted her skin. It was unseasonably cold, and she found this rain had an almost numbing effect. She reveled in it. In a twisted way, it made her feel…alive.

She hated that.

She hated how her friends had all seemed to move on with their lives, gladly accepting the lot that had been handed them. She had gotten them back, so surely everything was ok now, right? But she couldn't escape that nagging that told her all was not well, that trouble was lurking just around the corner….most days she could ignore it. Most days she could laugh off her discontent with a brilliant smile and dub her paranoia as delusions of an overtaxed mind. Most days, but not on the days like this. Not on the days where she felt the world a bit too keenly, like pinpricks on her skin. Not on the days where she remembered too deeply what they had made her do, what had almost come to pass because of her.

So she stood in the rain, face and palms turned towards heaven as the skies poured their tears upon her. Her sundress was soaked through and clung to her like a second skin, rain running little rivers down her arms and legs. She could breath deep, her lungs filling painfully with too much air. Her bare toes squished in the mud and grass, the slick cold only increasing that icy feeling chasing down her back. Her eyes were closed. If she just fell back, against the grass…

"Yucie!"

Warmth crashed into her like that first painful breath after too long underwater, flooding over and surrounding her in an embrace that she knew should be welcomed. On any other day would have been. But on that day, she heard Arc scolding her like he was far away down a long tunnel, distant and muted and barely discernible through the haze that had become her mind. She felt, or thought she felt, him shaking her. She kept her face towards the sky, the rain stinging her now-open eyes. She didn't react when his large hands grasped her cheeks and pulled her face towards him. A part of her mind disconnected from the rest noticed the terrified look in his eyes, heard the earnest plea in his voice, but it wasn't enough to bring her back to him. It wasn't enough to make her forget that – despite it all – she shouldn't be there. Shouldn't…shouldn't…

It had rained like this on that day, too.

Restless

Ideally, everything should have been fine upon their return from the crumbling Magical World. The other Princess Candidates were back, Yucie's memories had been restored with them, he wasn't dying, and the problem of the Eternal Tiara and the Great Magician seemed solved. All in all, things should have been fine – perfect, even. The curse was broken, the girls would start growing, and sooner than they knew he would be claiming Yucie as his queen and starting on that happily ever after bit all the tales promised.

Ideally. Should have. Which meant, he should have realized much sooner, things would be very far from what they had all expected.

The girls were growing well enough, they were actually enjoying their return to the Princess Academy, and Yucie was even settling into the palace perfectly (as he knew she would). The other four seemed fine, but if he was being honest there was something going on with the princess he was most concerned with. He hadn't noticed anything until a week or so after the Final Scene, when they had been walking through the city. It had started raining, and when he had grabbed for her hand to pull her towards shelter he had noticed she was…gone. He had looked about in a panic before he saw her walking straight into the path of an oncoming carriage. He had been terrified, and he remembered speaking harshly towards her, only she didn't seem to even realize what she had been doing. She had only blinked at him, apologized, and continued along their way like nothing had happened. When he had asked her friends about it, they had acted nervous – almost guilty – and had hesitantly told him about a few incidents the week before, each time during a rainstorm. The incident in town had been the worst by all reports, and suddenly he found himself on edge every time it rained.

It wasn't so bad when Yucie was near him, when he could keep her inside and oblivious to the storm outside. When he could keep an eye on her and know she was safe. But when the storms popped up like this and she was nowhere to be found…

He hurried through the palace, nervous energy nearly making him twitch as he frantically searched for her. Ten minutes later, he paused in a breezeway when a nasty fork of lightning illuminated the garden beyond, and in the darkness he saw Yucie standing there with her face turned towards the sky. He shouted her name as he hopped through an arch and ran towards her. He hit his knees beside her and pulled her into a fierce hug, but she was completely unresponsive. He was yelling, partially because of his fear and partially because of the howl of the wind, but still she refused to acknowledge him. He grabbed at her face and forced her to look at him. Her eyes were blank, glassy, and an entirely new height of fear gripped him. It was getting worse, whatever this was. He was gripped with that feeling again, the one that screamed at him to fight, to run, to do something before she was taken from him for good. Before he lost her forever. But what could he do when he didn't even know what this was?

She looked so lost. So scared. Like she had the day he found her at the amphitheater, searching in the rain for the lost friends she couldn't even remember.

"Something's…not right," she finally said, her voice small and hollow. She reached up and placed a hand against her temple. "In here. Something's not right."

"We'll fix it, Yucie. Whatever's wrong, we'll fix it," he vowed, but she looked so uncertain. He pulled her back towards him, again crushing her in a hug. "Whatever it is, we'll fix it."

Crazy

"I feel like I'm going crazy."

She was sitting on the floor by the fireplace in his room, cocooned in a fuzzy blue blanket. Her sundress hung over the arm of the chair beside her, drying in the warmth of the fire. He had the curtains drawn to block out the storm, but she would still jump with every crash of thunder or flicker of lightning. He had just reentered the room after flagging down a passing servant, who he had sent to find his mother and the healer. He went over to her, kneeling beside her and pulling her back against his chest. She snuggled against him, seeming like she was trying to make herself as small as possible. Given her size, it wasn't that difficult.

"You're not going crazy. Something's wrong, is all. You're sick," he offered, and she scoffed.

"A sickness that only presents during storms? I…it's like every time, I go back to that day. What kind of sickness would do that?" she mumbled, and he placed a kiss against the crown of her head.

"I don't know, Yucie, but we're going to figure it out. Everything will be fine. You'll see," he said, and she hummed as she continued to stare into the fire.

"We did leave, didn't we? We made it out of the Magical World, and Magazerent and I got my friends back, and…oh, gods, I'm not still there, am I?" she whispered. He held her tighter, wishing nothing more than to chase those fears away. They were ludicrous. Of course she made it out, and everything was fine, and…

"But what if I didn't? Gods, what if I never even left the first time? Then you're actually dead, and they're dead, and…I'm going crazy," she whispered, and he shook her gently.

"Yucie, stop it. You're not going crazy, though you're driving me there. You made it out. I'm alive. They're alive. You're alive. Nobody's dead here, all right?" he asked. She turned in his arms and knelt between his knees. The blanket slipped down, revealing a bare shoulder, and he forced himself to look away before he conceded to something…inappropriate. She reached up and placed her palm on his cheek, and he turned startled eyes back to her.

"I feel so lost," she said. "All I can hear is rain, and there's…there's this wall. And it's got all these cracks in it, but it's not completely down. And you…you feel real. I'm on the right side of the wall, right? Gods, I'm so confused…I wish it would just stop raining."

"Come here," he said, and before she could protest he pulled her towards him. "You're right here, all right? You're going to be fine. I'm not giving up on you, Forehead. I'm not."

"I'm so tired, Arc," she whispered, and he kissed her forehead.

"Then sleep," he said, and she curled against him.

"Stay with me 'til then?" she asked, her voice letting him know it wouldn't be long until she was out.

"Of course," he said. His voice dropped, coming out as barely a whisper when he next spoke. "I'll always stay with you, Yucie. I'm never leaving you again."

Hopeful

"You were under a curse until just recently, yes?"

"Any other spells?"

"Well, that's it, then. The spell was not broken cleanly – you have residual magic built up, specifically around your memories. The sound of the storms acts as a trigger, and then the spell tries to reassert itself."

"Oh, you'll be fine, Highness. Drink this, and in a few days the magic should be completely out of your system."

"I'm not surprised it happened at all, actually. You've been through some very traumatic events, Princess. And if that spell broke as violently as you claim, it's no wonder there were complications."

She'd be fine. It was all an after-effect from Magazerent's memory spell, and now that the healer had given her that potion…so by the next storm, she should be fine. Everything was all right. Everything –

She jumped as Arc's hands came down heavily on her shoulders. She looked up at him, frowning at the uncertain look on his face. She couldn't blame him, though. She'd been…it had been the worst today. She had felt so far from herself, and yet…so she turned around and grabbed his hands, holding them both in her own. She gave him her best smile, and he couldn't help but smile in return.

"I'm going to be just fine, just like you said," she said, "so stop worrying, ok? I'm sorry I caused so much trouble."

"You're worth the trouble, Yucie," he said. He knelt before her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Her dress looked good as new, and she was no worse for wear. She'd be fine. "Just…don't pull this again, ok?"

"I couldn't exactly help it," she quipped, and he shook his head.

"Doesn't matter. I thought I was going to lose you," he said. She frowned at him, but he just hugged her. "You should get some sleep. The healer said you'd need rest, and Mother's allowing you to miss lessons tomorrow. Here and at the Academy."

"You guys don't have to baby me," she pouted, and he smiled.

"Take it while you can. I'm sure once you're back Humphrey's going to work you harder than ever," he said, and she rolled her eyes as she pushed him away. She started to walk towards his door, but she hesitated halfway there when a rumble of thunder echoed through the room.

"A-Arc?" she asked, turning slightly to look at him. He smiled and stood, walking over to her and grabbing her hand.

"You don't have to ask," he said, squeezing her hand before he lead her to her room.

"Just until I fall asleep," she said, giving him a stern look. "No funny business."

"I'll leave as soon as you start snoring," he laughed, and she shouted at him as he tucked her in and crawled onto the bed beside her.

He didn't leave until just before dawn.

Curious

"Hey, Arc?"

"Hmmm?" he asked, not once looking up from the book he was reading. He was sitting on the floor by his bed, his knees bent up with the book resting atop them. Yucie was lounging on his bed, reading a book of her own. She was on her back, with her head resting against his, and every now and then she would shift, and her hair would fall just so over his shoulders. (She was torturing him, and she didn't even realize it. Or maybe she did – she was evil like that, at times.)

"I was just wondering…well, and I never asked you about it before, so…" she paused, and he could just imagine the way she was probably biting her lip. He nudged her head slightly, and she hummed. He glanced over at her, but she was staring up the canopy. Her eyes had taken on a darker look, and he wasn't sure where she had been going with her question, but he knew wherever she was now wasn't it. He knew those shadows, the ones that let him know she was back to the previous month, where she had almost lost everything she held dear. He reached up and put a hand on her chin, tilting her face to look at him.

"Hey, Yucie, I'm right here," he said. She smiled, the shadows clearing, and he mentally sighed in relief. His thumb brushed against her cheek, and he felt himself smiling back at her. "Now what were you wondering about?"

"Well, back at the Harvest Festival…you disguised yourself with magic," she said, and he nodded, grinning as he remembered that day (more specifically: as he remembered that cat costume she had worn).

"It was getting harder to avoid the palace guards. I felt a disguise would be more…productive," he said. She nodded.

"I get that," she said. "What I don't understand is why, of all things, you disguised yourself as an old woman."

He froze, barely blinking as he gawked at her, and she gave him a devious little smirk.

"I mean really, Arc. That's just weird. Do you have some secret desire I should know about before things between us get too seri-ahhh!" the question turned into a squeal as he threw his book aside and lunged at her. She dissolved in a fit of giggles as he began tickling her, and soon he was straddling her knees as she gasped for air and begged for mercy.

"It was just the spell I found. I was kind of rushed, so I didn't have time to make adjustments," he said. He smirked at her, bending down to hover above her face. "Besides, I think things are already a bit too serious for you to be bailing on me now."

"Arc…" she breathed, her eyes widening at something. Maybe it was his words, maybe there was a look in his eyes…whatever it was, she was smiling again, that one he was noticing more and more around him alone. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against her forehead, and before she could yell at him he was off of her and crossing the room to retrieve his book.

"Great, Forehead – you made me lose my place."