Title: Daddy Needs to Get Laid
Author: Arawna
Disclaimer: Anything relating to the Harry Potter world does not belong to me.
A/N: This is a fic response to the Single Father Challeng by koolanimefreek on thesilversnitch, so technicallly, the idea of the plot doesn't even belong to me. But nonetheless, it is halfway decent, and I hope you like it.
The Sorting
Isabella and Gabriella didn't act overcome by the castle like the rest of the first years, including Heath, because they were Malfoys, and Malfoys don't stare, or so they were told. Instead, they looked around nonchalantly with bored expressions on their faces. Doing this was actually easier than it looked, because no one was causing mayhem anywhere, so it was boring.
An old witch wearing a tartan headed the group of first years, calling out what was expected of them before they entered the Great Hall. The twins rolled their eyes as everyone else stared on in rapt attention. A rustle of red caught Gabi's eye. It only took a second for her eyes to widen in horror and to pull at her sister's robe sleeve.
"Izzi, we aren't the only twins this year," she said in a harsh whisper. Izzi glanced around, finding the offending pair of twins at once.
"And they're Weasleys," Izzi whispered back.
Before they could utter another harsh whisper, the crowd gave a sudden surge forward, toward the Great Hall.
The high ceiling grasped the attention of the first years in their group, eliciting gasps of amazement from them. None of the children had ever seen anything so expansive, unless of course, they were the children of one Draco Malfoy, but since only two qualified for that, only two weren't really impressed. Ignoring the charmed ceiling, Izzi and Gabi looked around the room, noticing how the Slytherin and the Gryffindor tables were at opposite sides of the room with Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff in between the two. Of course, it was between the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables that the first years had to file down before coming to a stand in front of a raised dais. Many elderly wizards were seated at the table on the dais with the exception of a greasy haired man, and the woman who was directing the group.
"Look, it's Uncle Severus," Gabi said, pointing to the standing behind the podium-like object.
"But we can't call him that here, remember what father said?" Izzi replied. "Here, he's either Headmaster or Professor Snape."
"I know," her twin sighed.
Their conversation was forced to stop right then, because the obviously Scottish witch before them had called for silence. Instantly, all the students at the tables halted their own conversations and turned to face the woman. With a dramatic flick of her wrist, the scroll she had been holding unfurled and she began to read aloud.
"Laura Boot."
A scrawny girl with soft brown curls stepped up onto the dais and took the proffered seat. When she was situated on the stool, an old, ratty hat was placed upon her head.
"Ravenclaw," Gabi said in unison with the hat.
"Christopher Crabbe."
A tank of a boy stomped over and sat on the stool.
"Slytherin," Izzi called with the hat.
"Lucas Goyle."
Yet another tank took the seat.
"Slytherin," Gabi said in a singsong way.
"Sarah Longbottom."
A slightly cubby girl took her own turn with the hat.
"Hufflepuff," Izzi yawned.
"Gabriella Malfoy."
Gabi made a show in stepping up onto the dais and sitting on the stool in a such way that would make her Drama Queen of a daddy proud.
The hat hadn't even touched her white-blonde hair before it called, "Slytherin."
Pouting, she made her way over to the awaiting table of silver and green.
"Isabella Malfoy."
Izzi mimicked her sister in everyway, including the hat not touching her before it called, "Slytherin."
And just like her sister, she walked away pouting.
"Guess we're not evil enough to take over the world if we're only as evil as Salazar himself," Gabi said in a disappointed tone.
"Guess not," Izzi agreed with an exasperated sigh.
"Heath Nott," the old witch continued.
"Hufflepuff," Gabi stated, resting her head on the heal of her hand.
"Brandon Weasley."
One Weasley twin walked up and plopped down on the stool, then, to the surprise of most, so did the other one. They both sat on the stool and pulled the hat down over their heads.
"Gryffindor," the Slytherin twins chorused.
Looking slightly displeased, the woman ignored the whoops from the boys as they made their way to the red and gold table.
"Katherine Zabini."
A dark-skinned girl sat on the stool with a poise only second to the Malfoy girls'.
"Ravenclaw," Izzi whispered in a bored tone.
The old witch walked around the table to take her own seat at the staff table, at which point, the headmaster continued.
"I am pleased to welcome all of you back for another year," Severus said in a flat tone. "I am also pleased to announce that we have a new staff member to add to our ranks. As many of you know, Professor Lupin retired at the end of last year to vacation with his wife." Severus seemed to grimace at this. "Taking his place as Defense Against the Dark Arts is going to be one Harry Potter."
Clapping and cheering emitted from all tables, even the Slytherin. Izzi and Gabi, however, were too busy looking at the man who rose from his seat with malicious glee to bother with clapping or cheering.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" one twin asked the other.
"Of course, I always am," the other twin answered with a smirk.
"Also, he will be replacing Professor McGonagall as the Gryffindor Head of House," Severus continued. Again, the Gryffindor table cheered and clapped. "But don't fret, she will still remain here as you Transfigurations professor." He continued with his little speech, until, at last, he declared that it was time to start the feast.
As the twins started to serve themselves dinner, the second year that was sitting across from them chose that moment to try to start up a conversation.
"So, Malfoys, eh?" he asked.
"Yeah, so what of it?" the sneered together. Sneering was considered something Malfoys should know how to do, even if they don't use it often, like their father. They, on the other hand, liked to sneer at poor helpless plebians.
"Nothing, just hoping that you don't go insane like your grandfather," he shrugged. "I would hate do die so young."
"Our grandfather was an evil bastard who we have never, and will never, aspire to be," Izzi bit out. "And if mental issues are in the genes, then I'll make sure you're the first on my list of my 'insane random' killing spree."
"Now I can't have that," a deep voice drawled behind them. "I don't particularly wish to visit my two favorite witches in Azkaban."
Turn, jump, throw yourself at your father's godfather. They were Malfoys, they could do anything with an air of poise.
"How are you, Izzi, Gabi?" Severus asked, holding both girls close.
"Fine, Uncle Sev-er, I mean, Professor Snape," Gabi giggled. The second year who had been talking with them blanched as he saw just how close the twins were with the headmaster.
"Oh, no, go ahead and call me Uncle if you want. If the other students don't like it, hex 'em," he said with a smirk.
The boy blanched further.
"Really?" the girls asked excitedly, their faces lighting up.
"No," Severus said, chuckling. "But you can call me Uncle."
Both girls slumped against him.
"Well, you're no fun," Izzi pouted.
"As headmaster, I am responsible for all these brats," he said. "And as such, I cannot legally condone the use of hexes on my students."
"Fine," Gabi and Izzi sighed in unison.
"Well, I just came over to wish you a welcome to school and my House," Severus stated, releasing the girls. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to go eat. See you two later."
"Bye, Uncle," they said together, each standing on the bench so they could both kiss him on either cheek.
"Have fun, but don't get into trouble," he warned before leaving them to their own devices.
"There he goes, acting like father again and ruining our fun," Izzi pouted.
Gabi waggled her index finger at her sister. "He said, 'don't get into trouble'. How can we get in trouble if we don't get caught?"
