If one were to ask whether Kasuka Heiwajima hated someone with every fiber of his being he would answer it bluntly with a yes. Because that someone was Izaya Orihara the "flea" as what his dear older brother would call.

What made him hate Izaya Orihara was the fact that the "flea" was the one who made his dear older brother's self loathing intensify. Every day he knew how hard his older brother tries to avoid fights and live a peaceful life and that was why his older brother resolved into solidarity into his adult hood

Shinra Kishitani was one of his brother's friend to say that Shinra Kishitani was always in his good side would be a lie because truth be told the future underground doctor did get into his bad side when he tried to match his dear older brother with the abominable Izaya Orihara. What Kasuka did to stop him was something that he does not wish to remember since it brought out his inner demon.

That was how great and probably twisted was Kasuka's love was for his brother. There were a few times that he had slipped and almost alerted his big brother on what he did to ensure that Izaya Orihara's attempt on saying his love to Shizuo would fail and would only lead to his brother hating him more.

But unknown to Kasuka, Shizuo did know what he does to ensure the flea's failure and he also knows that whenever Kasuka does this he would ask for forgiveness in a way so unnoticeable and today was one of those days.

Shizuo had just arrive home after one of the flea's failed attempts at confessing his love to him courtesy of Kasuka. He had actually been secretly congratulating Kasuka every time he came up with a creative way for the flea to backout or just fail.

"Kasuka, I'm home" Shizuo called out as he closed the front door and proceeded to remove his shoes when Kasuka hugged him from behind whispering "welcome back, nii-san"

Shizuo then turned his head towards him their lips dangerously closed. Kasuka's eyes widened a bit though it was hardly noticeable to others but to Shizuo it was so clear. Inwardly he smiled, proud that he was able to detect the slight changes in Kasuka's face and mood as a big brother.

"N-nii-san"Kasuka stuttered because of their closeness

"Kasuka, I love you" Shizuo said before he kissed his brother on the cheek and near enough on his lips and ruffled his head affectionately and went up to his room to change clothes. Leaving Kasuka alone on the hallway who had sat on the floor knees bended while he placed his head on top of it.

Kasuka knew that he should not take it 'that way' but his heart wouldn't stop pounding rapidly nor did his face remain cool.

Shizuo knew of his brother's feelings towards him and frankly he shared the same feelings with him but he knows that such things is frowned upon by society. He doesn't want Kasuka to experience discrimination beside it was a sin.

This is enough for me. Loving him and caring for him as an older brother is enough…It's enough…

Shizuo's face had a bittersweet smile on them knowing that such love between him and Kasuka is too dangerous. Who knew what would happen to his beloved brother's future if they pursued such a relationship. He didn't mind if their mother disowned him but if Kasuka was disowned his conscience wouldn't take it because that was very selfish. He shouldn't take away his brother's future and happiness for his own.

A monster can never be with someone only with another monster that is why I can't be with Kasuka because I'm a monster.

Meanwhile as Shizuo held those thoughts Kasuka slowly and silently went inside his room and the moment he entered his room he closed the blinds and allowed his tears to flow as he fell on his bed clutching his heart.

"Nii-san…Nii-san…" Kasuka repeatedly said as he clutched his heart and remembered what had occurred earlier that day


"Shizu-chan~" Izaya Orihara the would be Shinjuku informant called out to the enraged blond Shizuo at that time was running full speed towards Izaya.

"Ii-zaaa-yaaaa! Give me back my lunch!" Shizuo said as he followed Izaya who was waving his lunch grinning maniacally as he sprinted.

Today was the day Izaya would confess his love to Shizuo and would take him by complete surprise that he would be overwhelmed with happiness he would say 'yes' and they'll live happily together forever.

What he did not know was that another Heiwajima was intent on ruining it once again and Shizuo on the other hand was by all means had enough knowledge on what the flea was attempting

Key word: attempting

Because the moment they passed by Kasuka not just long ago Shizuo gave him a grin that only Kasuka would know the meaning behind it.

And before he knew it they were already on the roof top. Izaya on the edge smiling at him. He returned the courtesy by smiling him the grin he would always give the 'flea'. He knew that Izaya did not know that he knew of his feelings and it was better that way.

Contrary to the popular belief he was not dumb or stupid. after all he wouldn't get to a Raijin for nothing. He just tended to act on instincts and that if he truly wanted he would have placed number 1 on the entrance exams.

"Shizu-chan~"Izaya began and it is at this moment that Shizuo starts his act and began to tune him out putting on different looks to fool the flea until the flea reached the words he had tried to say to him along time ago

Keyword : Tried

Because before he could even finish it Kasuka came bursting out on the door wearing a blond wig and green contacts as well as the Raijin female uniform.

"Shizuo-kun! Please go out with me!"Kasuka said with a girl's voice

Shizuo grinned at his brother's tactic though of course to others it would look like Shizuo Heiwajima got the hots for the girl.

At that moment Izaya was way too stunned because right in front of him was Kasuka Heiwajima wearing a wig and the female uniform. He overcame this easily with a new emotion annoyance.

For the stupid protozoan got the hots for his little BROTHER in disguise! It was unacceptable for him Izaya Orihara but before he could even do something Shizuo carried his little brother who was in disguise out of the roof top bridal style.

Izaya Orihara had never despised Kasuka Heiwajima that much until that very moment when he ruined his attempt at being with Shizuo.

While Izaya Orihara was fuming with anger the Heiwajima siblings were in the back yard. Kasuka was fiddling his skirt while Shizuo was still amused that is until he trapped 'her' and whispered seductively to-according to Kasuka- on 'her' ear

"I'll give you something later at home…Kasuka"

Shizuo then left the backyard not before kissing Kasuka on the forehead who was blushing upon being found out.


Kasuka's face became redder. Briefly he wondered if his older brother already knew of his previous interventions.

If I based it from earlier then most probably Nii-san knew and here I thought Nii-san was too oblivious about almost everything

Kasuka hugged his knees as he lay on the bed emotionlessly staring at the blinds his tears had already stop and thankfully his eyes didn't become red from crying. Kasuka knew that despite the close lips to lips kiss that happened awhile ago deep inside his heart is in turmoil because for once Kasuka Heiwajima realized that the brother he thought he knew and could easily read maybe just maybe far from what he makes the world see. And that maybe the kiss and 'I love you' from earlier as well as before that meant that his brother shared the kind of love he had towards him.

The thought itself made Kasuka happy and gave him hope. That was why when Shizuo knocked on his door for dinner he happily opened it and openly showed his happy face and hugged Shizuo.

"K-Kasuka?"

"Nii-san! I love you more~!" Kasuka said as he let go of Shizuo and flashed him a bright smile.

He then went down for dinner to join his parents leaving Shizuo blushing madly on the hallway upstairs.

And when Kasuka was questioned about his apparent happy aura all he answered was

"Today I found out that the person I love the most loves me back!"

As one troubled heart diminished another appeared this time on Shizuo Heiwajima who feared that if Kasuka decides to pursue him things might end all Shizuo wanted was for Kasuka to have a bright future. Because being a big brother is something he takes pride in and if that means he would have to prevent Kasuka from pursuing him he would do so even if it both hurts them. And that was what caused a rift between them in the future.


A/N: reviews are gladly you for those who took their time to review or read my story.