Chapter 2: I Wanna Be The Very Best ~~

It was not the typical, placid day on Route 1–it was, in fact, downright miserable. That was all Leaf could think about as she waded through the waist-high grass, drenched in sweat and covered in bug bites. Why didn't anyone cut this grass? Hell, why hasn't a random traveler on this route cut out a path with a Scyther yet? This was a major Kanto route. It was named Route 1, for Zapdos' sake.

And that wasn't even the worst part of it.

The worst part was that her "traveling partner" was humming the most goddamn annoyingly catchy song that she had ever heard in her life.

Red's humming went up to a high point as he started to play an air guitar, rocking out to the chorus.

"Alright, shut up!" Leaf shouted. "You've been singing that goddamn song for an hour straight now! What are you even humming, some super-sentai theme?!"

"Pfft, no. It's the only thing that my dad ever did right," Red retorted. "He sung it to me every night before he drunk himself into a stupor and fell into the sea. It goes: I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was! To…"

Leaf realized at that moment that this was probably the reason her traveling companion was so weird.

She also realized that Red was right; this was his dad's greatest creation. Red himself was probably his dad's worst.

"…You teach me and I'll teach you, Pokemon! Gotta catch them all! Gotta catch them all! Pokemon!" Red sang, strumming his fingers against his invisible guitar and finishing with a flourish.

How in the hell did an idiot like him beat me? Leaf sniffed derisively. Hmph. It's only because he used non-standard moves like "dodge." I'll beat him next time. Ohohohohoho!

"Why are you laughing?"

"Eh—Uh, no reason." Leaf blushed slightly and turned her head to the side to avoid eye contact.

She was embarrassed to admit that after her loss the day before she threw a small hissy-fit. It was a bit disgraceful, acting like a child in front of someone else when she should be more mature. Red didn't seem to care, though; he just lavished praise on his Charmander and went to bed.

Because her Bulbasaur hadn't fully healed yet, she demanded that Red travel with her to Viridian City in order to protect her from wild Pokemon.

Hmph, at least he's proven to be more competent at battling, but only because of my help!

It was true that as they traveled on the route they encountered many Pidgey and Rattata; however they were swiftly dealt with by Red and his Charmander. Of course that was only due to Leaf issuing orders to the two, or so she would like to believe.

She wished Red would stop ordering his Charmander to burn the encountered Rattata after they were knocked out though. She heard that animal abuse at a young age was a sign of a psychopath…

"Rawr!" the Charmander screeched happily as it pointed ahead with a small claw.

"Oh, we're getting close to town?" Red asked.

"Rawr, rawr!"

"That's good, I'm looking forward to leaving your company," Leaf sniffed. "I'm afraid I'm no good at dealing with barbarians."

"Well, I'm not good with…" Red thought for a second. "Shut up."

"Wow, what a wonderful riposte. Absolutely masterful in its composition."

"Do you think big words make you sound smart?"

"Yes."

"…Goddamn you."

Leaf felt victorious once more in her battle of wits as the two entered in the city bounds. Viridian City was far larger than sleepy old Pallet Town, but it was still no Celadon or Saffron City in Leaf's eyes. Up ahead she could see the Pokemon Academy where she swept the floor with all those plebians with her vast knowledge, and the Pokemon Center with its cherry red roof. Sure, it's eye-catching to any trainer, but it's also such an eye-sore. The only other landmark of the town was the large building to the far north; she assumed it was the Gym Leader's building.

"Hmph, I've traveled with you long enough," Leaf said, turning to the left. "I'll be going now."

"Uh, hey." Red pointed forward. "The Gym's that way."

"I know that, idiot!" Leaf jabbed at his side. "Bloom should be healed by now, so I'm going to Route 22. I want to see all the Pokemon there before I go on."

"Nerd."

"Idiot. Here, because I'm magnanimous, I'll give you these," she said before literally throwing five Pokeballs at Red's face. Three were a direct hit. "Hmph, you didn't even prepare for this journey, did you? At least your mom is holding onto half of the money you make. And take this advice: visit the Pokemon Center; your Charmander looks like it could use some help."

"Mrmph," Red retorted with a Pokeball stuck in his mouth-hole.

"Later, idiot," Leaf said with a flip of her hair before going down Route 22.


Finally free from that brainless ape, Leaf smiled freely at the scenic route before her. Route 22 was in far better condition than that backwater Route 1: there were cleaner paths and grass that was actually managed properly! She was going to have a fun day learning all about Pokemon in the field.

The first few Pokemon were the standard fare of Pidgey and Rattata, widely considered pests of the region. Leaf had already caught them and added their data in the Pokedex from Red's encounters on Route 1, not that she let him notice. It wasn't like she was grateful to him or anything. Therefore, she mostly used these wild ones as punching bags for Bloom to gain experience on.

Leaf wandered the field for a while when a brand new Pokemon jumped in front of her, beating its chest with its long arms and screeching wildly.

Leaf gasped in excitement as she pointed her device at the creature. "Mankey, the Pig Monkey Pokemon. It is light and agile on its feet, and ferocious in temperament. When angered it flies into an uncontrollable frenzy."

"Alright, Bloom, let's whittle down that Mankey's health with some Leech Seed." Bloom nodded and fired small seeds near the feet of the Mankey. Vines sprang up, wrapping around the ankles and piercing into the skin.

The Mankey howled in anger and tried to charge, but with its limited mobility from being entangled in vines, Leaf was able to get another move in. "Now use Tackle!"

Bloom pushed the Mankey down with her bulky body and just moved away as Mankey's razor-sharp claws lashed out at her face.

Leaf could see that the Mankey was getting weaker, its movements slowing down. She took this moment to take one of her empty Pokeballs and chuck it at the injured wild creature. The Mankey's body converted into bright light as it was absorbed into the ball and it landed on the ground.

Now the real challenge had begun. Leaf narrowed her eyes and used all her willpower to focus on the twitching ball. Bloom had no idea what her trainer was up to, but she kept her focus on the round orb as well in case that hideous furball got out again.

One shake…two….three…

Click!

Leaf let out a happy squeal and jumped up in joy. A new Pokemon has been added to the Pokedex and to her growing collection. Leaf could feel the pride swelling up inside her. She wondered as she picked up the ball containing Mankey if catching all Pokemon was going to be this easy.

"Squaw!" Leaf turned around barely in time to dodge the brown blur coming towards her face. After getting away, she turned to see an odd-looking brown and red bird hovering above her.

She slowly backed away and aimed her Pokedex at the bird. "Spearow, the Tiny Bird Pokemon. It is inept at flying high. However it can fly around very fast to protect its territory."

"No kidding," Leaf said, keeping her eye on the irate bird. She was unnerved by the fact that this Flying-type was facing off against her and the only Pokemon she could use was Bloom, who was a Grass-type and the Mankey, who had low health and was a Fighting-type.

Both were weak to Spearow, who at this level knew Peck, a strong Flying-type move.

"Alright, Bloom, use—" Faster than Leaf could finish her command, the Spearow dived down like a bullet and smashed its beak into the bulb on Bloom's back. The hit actually tore the bulb open a bit, sending shards of cellulose and green fluid flying into the air.

Bloom rolled to the ground and came up in a shaky stance, as Spearow quickly took to the sky again and circled the Bulbasaur in an odd pattern.

Leaf was becoming worried at this point. Soon she would have no Pokemon and who knows what this bird would do to her? She didn't want her eyes to be pecked out of their sockets!

Then she remembered from her time at the Academy that Spearow flew in a figure-eight pattern towards and against the north-wind!

"Nerd." Leaf could almost hear Red's annoying voice in her head, but she shook it off and analyzed the Spearow's flight path. When it was getting closer to Bloom, she shouted, "Use Leach Seed, directly above you!"

Three seeds shot out of Bloom's ruptured bulb and struck the Spearow's underbelly mid-flight. The vines quickly sprouted and wrapped around the bird, drawing its wings to its body.

Without anything to sustain its flight it quickly became a bullet that smashed straight into the ground with a sickening crack. The damage dealt to Bloom was slowly healing from the vines, though she was still in poor shape.

Leaf took this opportunity to throw a ball at the downed Spearow. After three shakes and a click, Leaf let out a sigh of relief.

Perhaps she shouldn't have jinxed herself earlier. She got her composure back into order and recalled Bloom into her ball. "You did very well today, Bloom. Let's just collect our Spearow and head to the Pokemon Center."

As soon as she picked up the Pokeball and placed it in her bag, she froze at the sound of a small, curious cry.

"Nii?"

She slowly turned around and her eyes caught sight of a small blue creature looking up at her with red eyes. It was covered in thin spikes, had rather large ears and it seemed to be smiling up at her.

Leaf gulped and forced herself not to make sudden movements. She was not ready for another battle: she had weak Pokemon, no matter what type advantage she had against this thing.

But still the brainiac inside her wanted to know more about this creature. Surely it wouldn't hurt to look it up in the Dex, right?

She pointed her Pokedex at it shakily and listened to the robotic voice. "Nidoran , the Poison Pin Pokemon. A mild-mannered Pokémon that does not like to fight. Beware, its small horns secrete venom."

Well, at least it didn't seem like it would attack without provocation. But those horns could be a problem if they touched her. The safe move would be to walk backwards slowly.

But every time she stepped back, the Nidoran took a step forward. She didn't even realize she was trapped until she bumped into a large tree behind her. Nervously, she looked at the slowly advancing Nidoran.

She felt sweat break out on her face as the cute little creature approached her legs, its nose and whiskers twitching.

"Nii!" it cried as it suddenly sprang forward and nuzzled into her legs, looking up at her with a stare that screamed "pet me!"

"Err…" There were rivers of sweat leaking down Leaf's temples and dripping from her chin. "Y-you're a little cutie, aren't you…?"

Gulping, she carefully reached down and patted the Pokemon on the head.

Excited at the attention, it rewarded her by nuzzling its horn into her hand.

She heard a squelching sound as her hand was pierced by the needle and she let out a loud scream. The Nidoran jumped slightly in surprise, but was unable to pull its horn out of her hand.

"Uwaa!" Leaf cried, unable to shake off the creature. She then decided to just pick it up.

It wasn't the smartest decision she ever made, that's for certain.

A half dozen more spikes pierced her skin, but she didn't really care at this point. She bolted for the Pokemon Center in a headlong sprint, clutching the Nidoran for dear life.

Luckily she wasn't very far into Route 22, so it didn't take her long to get into town. One man on the way to the Pokemon Center tried to ask if she was alright, but she ended up bowling him over on the way to the entrance.

Pushing others out of the way, she made it to the counter where a pink-haired nurse with the nametag "Joy" sat.

"Uh…Miss, are you alright?" the nurse asked the pale, sweating and slightly purple-faced girl in front of her.

In response, Leaf held out the Nidoran and sat it on the counter.

"Nii…"

Leaf then collapsed to her knees, barely holding herself up at the counter and gasped for breath. Splotches of black filled her vision.

"P…poison…"

"Oh my!" the nurse exclaimed, hitting the "help" buzzer underneath the table. "I need a stretcher stat and antidote—the human kind. Quickly!"

That was all Leaf could really remember as the sweet sensation of unconsciousness washed over her.


Leaf never liked waking up in unfamiliar places. For a few moments she always forgot where she had slept and thought that she may have been kidnapped.

It was never more pronounced than in the moment she woke up in a sterile white room on a steel-frame single bed, in nothing but a hospital gown.

"What the fu—where am I?!" she screamed, throwing the covers off of her and searching for her Pokeballs.

"Nii!" the cry from her bed stand stopped her cold and her head slowly turned to the offender.

That damn Nidoran was trying to balance itself on a Pokeball and failing. Normally that wouldn't have been a huge problem except that, in the search for her things, Leaf got a little too close to it.

Like face-to-face close.

"Uwaa!" she shouted falling onto the floor and crawling desperately away from the hell-spawn. The Nidoran looked down at her and tilted its head to the side. The two stared at each other for a bit, with the Nidoran smiling and Leaf twitching her eye.

At that moment, Nurse Joy had decided to walk in. She stopped at the scene and asked in confusion, "What are you doing? You should be in bed resting."

Leaf's mind slowed down and began to process exactly where she was. The Pokemon Center. She remembered touching the Nidoran and getting poisoned from its touch, running all the way to the Center and then passing out at the counter…

"Oh, um…s-sorry about that, nurse." Leaf cleared her throat and stood up shakily, using the bed post for support. She gave a smile and laughed a bit awkwardly. "I just…forgot where I was for a moment and I get a bit jumpy if I don't know where I am right away. Heh, heh."

Nurse Joy gave a small sigh as she helped the girl to the bed side. "Well, at least you seem to be feeling a lot better. You had a lot of toxins in you. You should be a little more careful when playing with your Nidoran."

"Y-Yeah, I'll remember that next time. Thank you," Leaf said, glancing sideways at the Nidoran, who chirped at her playfully. Well, it looks like she was able to catch one more Pokemon after all; maybe not in the way she had hoped. "I'm really sorry for disrupting your business."

Nurse Joy waved her hand in dismissal and smiled. "Oh, don't worry about it. I've seen some pretty crazy stuff as a nurse. And besides, you weren't half as bad as that boy that was in here earlier."

Leaf had a sinking suspicion that she knew who that boy was and could only give a plastic smile. "Is that so?"

"Yeah, he and his Pokemon were causing a huge ruckus. His Charmander even used SmokeScreen inside of the building; it took quite a while for us to clear it all out."

Leaf just wanted to face-palm right there at the sheer idiocy of that kid, but she managed to hold back and let out a small chuckle. "Wow, what an annoying brat. Good thing he left before I came here."

She then remembered something important. "Oh, my Pokeballs? Where did you put them?"

"We healed them all up after we treated you. They should be in the first drawer of the bed stand, along with the rest of your belongings."

Leaf could only scowl as she took note of the poisonous Pokemon sitting on top of the cupboard. Well, it seems to like me well enough. As long as I'm careful around this thing I should be fine, she thought as she gingerly opened the drawer and grabbed her bag. Nidoran just gave a small sneeze and shook its head.

"Now that all that chaos is over and done with, I better give some of my captured Pokemon some names," Leaf said with a smile, releasing all the Pokemon she caught today. They all crowded around her in curiosity.

"Okay so…" Leaf took out her Pokedex and pointed it at each of the Pokemon to learn their genders. "Pidgey is a girl, so I'll call her Feather. Rattata is a boy–I like Munchie, and Spearow is a boy, too. I think Wing is a good name for it. Mankey is female, so how about Banana?"

The birds tilted their heads and chirped in agreement. Munchie the Rattata merely chewed on the blanket with its overgrown teeth and the Mankey now named Banana pounded its fists together and howled. Leaf took that as a "yes."

"Ni-ni!" Nidoran shouted, kicking its hind legs up in what looked like impatience. Leaf looked at it. It technically was her Pokemon now so it made sense to give it a nickname. Hell, the little bugger looked like it wanted to be called something!

"Okay, take it easy, I'll name you too. Hmm, let me think…" Leaf pondered for a moment before reaching a decision. "Cyan, after the color of your fur."

It's also short for "cyanide," Leaf thought, though she couldn't help but smile as Cyan the Nidoran hopped up and down happily.

Nurse Joy smiled at the heartwarming sight. "How adorable. Anyways Miss Leaf, you can be discharged now. You can dress yourself here and head to the front desk to sign your release form."

"Okay, thank you!" Leaf said as the nurse walked back to the front of the center. Leaf spared no time in returning her Pokemon to their balls and putting them into the bag. She also took note that she had caught six Pokemon already. That was the League's maximum amount to have in a Pokemon battle.

I guess whatever I catch next will go into that Pokemon PC Storage so my bag doesn't get cramped, she thought as she began to undress. I wonder who made that storage system in the first place; maybe I'll be able to meet them someday.

After getting dressed in her clothes, she swung her bag over her shoulder and left the room. It had been an eventful day. She was feeling pretty good about herself despite all the setbacks.

She couldn't help but feel smug as she signed the paper handed to her by Nurse Joy. I bet that idiot hasn't caught a single Pokemon yet. Probably already lost in Viridian Forest by now…all by himself…without my guidance to help him along.

Leaf shook herself out of those thoughts. Who cares about morons like Red anyways when she should be thinking about her next move? She looked to the nurse and asked, "Um, do you know if the Gym Leader of this city is in right now?"

Nurse Joy shook her head as she took the forms and filed them away. "I'm sorry, but the Leader is currently away on some form of business and he'll be gone for quite some time. He's a rather mysterious type of person; we don't even know his true name."

Leaf found this to be odd. It was true that Gym Leaders were important people and had lives outside of managing the Gym, but to be absent for a long stretch of time? That causes problems for trainers throughout the region who are aiming to complete the League challenge and be the best like no one ever….Goddammit, now she was thinking of that damn song!

"Okay then, thank you for everything. Have a good day," Leaf said and she exited the center.


After going to the Mart to stock up on Potions and Pokeballs, Leaf decided to head out of town now that she completed all she wanted to do in the area.

"I wonder what Route 2 and Viridian Forest will be like," Leaf said as she walked down the north path out of town. "I hear that Viridian Forest is a nationally preserved habitat, so there should be some nice Grass- and Bug-type Pokemon there…"

Caught in her own thoughts, she did not see that there was an old man in the middle of the road murmuring something about coffee and teaching people how to catch Pokemon, and she accidentally stepped on his face.

"Oh!" Leaf lifted her foot off the old man's face immediately. "I'm so sorry!"

The old man gave her a thumbs up in reply. "White. Nice."

It took Leaf a second to understand what he was saying. When she did, she slammed her foot back down onto his face.

Hard.

"Geez, why is every guy I meet so perverted?" She crossed her arms under her chest and looked down. "Is it you guys? Is that the reason why?"

Naturally, her breasts did not respond.

"No, it couldn't possibly be that."

Actually…

Never mind, we shall move on.

Leaf ambled along Route 2, which was a straight shot before the entrance to the forest. She didn't encounter anything special or different that would pique her interest, so she used the surrounding Pokemon to train up her team.

After some good battle experience, Leaf headed into the forest. She was thankful that she wasn't traveling the woods at night, though the massive branches and green leaves made it difficult for sunlight to break through. It was a verdant, shady paradise, considered one of the natural jewels of Kanto.

Leaf strolled through the forest, making sure to keep an eye out for new species. She came across two different types of Bug Pokemon: Caterpie, a sickeningly-adorable green bug with huge eyes and red antennae, and Weedle, an orange bug with a poison-filled stinger on top of its head.

Leaf made sure to take extra precautions when capturing the latter.

After spending some time walking through the forest, picking up fallen items, battling the wildlife and capturing the evolutions of Caterpie and Weedle, Metapod and Kakuna (which were the easiest things she had caught so far), she began to notice the suspicious lack of trainers in this area.

And…was that smoke she smelled?

As she turned around a corner, she caught sight of a young boy sitting against a tree, sobbing into his hands. From what seemed like a kilometer around him were burnt trees, singed bushes, and barren and blackened soil.

That sinking feeling returned to Leaf once more as she approached the boy.

"Excuse me? Are you alright?" Leaf asked. "What happened here?"

The boy looked up and sniffled. "I-I was just in a battle with this kid. I didn't know what would happen. That horrible Charmander…it burned everything around us. My poor Beedrill…I'm so sorry!"

Leaf just let out a sigh and looked to the sky as if the answers would be there. She hoped to the Birds that the next city would still be in one piece by the time she got there. She then looked back at the young trainer while shuffling through her bag.

"Okay, here's a Repel I found on the ground earlier. Spray yourself with this and head back to Viridian City as soon as possible. Go to a law enforcement officer and report this, then head to the Pokemon Center."

"Thank you, miss! Thank you!" the boy said, taking the can from her hands. He sprayed himself with it and then ran past her as fast as possible.

Leaf watched him until he disappeared and then headed for the entrance, trying not to think about what had transpired in this forest. That idiot should be locked up; he was a blight upon this world.

She had found herself leaving the forest and back on the familiar path of Route 2. She saw that it was now mid-evening and decided to head into Pewter City for the night.

It was a nice town settled between the mountains, if a bit sparse in residence. The Pokemon Center was conveniently right in front of Leaf as she entered the town. Behind the building, she could barely see the Gym up ahead and the red roof of a large building.

It had been a long day and she hadn't had anything to eat since breakfast. Since she didn't fight any trainers today, buying food would cut into her traveling expenses a bit, but she still had money to spare.

She headed into the Mart and grabbed the cheapest boxed food she could find before paying for it at the checkout counter.

"That'll be 1,280 Poke," the bored teen at the register, maybe a year or two older than Leaf, told her.

"What a rip-off!" Leaf snapped back, shocked at the price. "Do you really expect me to believe that this subpar cuisine is worth as much as six Potions?!"

"Supply and demand, honey," the teen said, peering over the counter. "We don't have many people, so the food supply is usually low. We order Potions in bulk, which almost never expire because of the Gym next door, so the supply is always high."

"That's stupid." Leaf sighed. "And I think you're doing supply and demand wrong, somehow. What's next, bikes cost 1,000,000 Poke?"

Actually…

"Don't blame me, honey." The clerk eyed her slyly. "But you know…I could give you a deal if keep me company for a while…"

"Just take the money, you incorrigible pig." Leaf stuffed her hand into her bag and threw the money on the counter. "It astounds me how useless, perverted, self-righteous children like you manage to get jobs. Know that you'll one day die alone and useless to society."

With that she turned on her heel and walked out of the Mart.

"Please come again."

"Go die."

Fuming as she stepped out of the store, Leaf headed towards the Pokemon Center with her overpriced dinner in hand to see if there was any available space for the night.


Leaf's Team

Bloom – Level 8

Leaf's starting Pokemon. Helpful, friendly and down-to-earth.

Bulbasaur, Female

-Ingrain (Oak/Egg Move)

-Tackle

-Leech Seed

-Vine Whip

Ability: Overgrow

Feather – Level 6

One of Leaf's first catches. Agreeable, but no distinct personality.

Pidgey, Female

-Tackle

-Sand-Attack

Ability: Keen Eye

Munchie – Level 6

Another of Leaf's first catches. Likes to munch.

Rattata, Male

-Tackle

-Tail Whip

-Quick Attack

Ability: Run Away

Wing – Level 7

Very aggressive, do not attempt to pet.

Spearow, Male

-Peck

-Growl

-Leer

Ability: Keen Eye

Banana – Level 7

Beats her chest a lot, ill-tempered, and enjoys fighting, like a typical Mankey.

Mankey, Female

-Scratch

-Leer

-Low Kick

-Focus Energy

Ability: Vital Spirit

Cyan – Level 8

Accidentally poisoned Leaf in their meet-cute. A cinnamon roll who just wants pets and attention.

Nidoran (F)

-Scratch

-Growl

-Tail Whip

Ability: Poison Point

Boxed Pokemon

Squishy – Weedle – Level 4

Lettuce – Caterpie – Level 4

Apis – Kakuna – Level 7

Papilia – Metapod – Level 7


Next time on "Pokemon Misadventures:" just what did Red do to that forest? Find out how Red can be a human train wreck in the next chapter!