"Usagi..." Ami said slowly as she watched her friend use the Senshi Communicator in ways they were not meant to be: namely, a free cell phone. "What are you doing?"
"I'm using Mama's old personal phone book from college, what does it look like?" the odango-haired, blue-eyed girl replied as she attempted another call.
Makoto rolled her eyes. "Usagi, you've been dialing numbers and getting shouted at all day. What is your deal?"
"Guys, I need a job!" the future queen of Crystal Tokyo cried. "Mama's already told me since I didn't get any scholarships, I'm not going to college unless I pay for it! I can't afford college!"
Sighing, the tall brunette genuinely felt bad for her friend. Still, Makoto shook her head as what the blonde was doing didn't make sense! "All right, I understand the situation... but why are you calling your mom's old contacts?"
Listening to the communicator ring a bit more, the Senshi of the Moon turned to face her tallest of friends. "I'm hoping that maybe ONE of them has a job opening and if they were friends with mom, they might take pity on her daughter," Usagi explained how she was hoping to scam coerce explain her situation and have someone trust her to have a try at anything to do with making money and earning and honest wage.
She hoped this person was home. They were taking awhile to answer...
Growling like a dog being denied its bone—in a way, very true—Nodoka made her way down the stairs and towards the phone: her son had to be inconsiderate enough to use the guest bathroom on the second floor, after all!
Truthfully, she was also being denied the bone she sought, but that was another issue to bother those inconsiderate bastard gods with.
Finally coming upon a phone stand, the soaking wet woman in a now drenched kimono picked up the receiver and brought it to the right side of her head. "WHAT!?" she snarled. If this was a telemarketer, she didn't know how but she was going to reach through the line and strangle them!
The line was silent for a moment.
Nodoka was seeing red. "WELL!?"
It was then a nervous female voice spoke up. "Uh... h-hello?" the timid tone started. "Ah-am I speaking to Nodoka Kamiya?"
Flashback!
Well, Nodoka would blame it on 'experimenting, all of the kids are doing it' phase, but yes, she had a flashback to all the times she had been called that.
"Nodoka Kamiya, we do not kick boys there, even if we feel they are unmanly!"
"Nodoka Kamiya! We do not grab boys there, no matter if we are 'the horny'!"
"Nodoka Kamiya! Have you been in my stash again?"
"Nodoka Kamiya! You can't expect me to change your grade just because you're flashing your tits!"
"Nodoka Kamiya! Let the Prom King go!"
"Nodoka Kamiya! This is not how we pledge to this sorority! And let my boyfriend go!"
"Nodoka Kamiya! I may be a Guidance Counselor and am here to listen, but there are some things you should tell NO ONE!"
"Nodoka Kamiya! You mean to say you ate ALL the "special" brownies?"
"Nodoka Kamiya! GET THE HELL OFF OF MY MAN!"
"Nodoka Kamiya! Just because our parents promised us to be together and he is not 'technically' my husband, does not mean you can try that with him!"
"Nodoka Kamiya! Please rise as the jury reads their verdict!"
Back in the present, the voice nervously continued, "Uh... hello? Am I speaking to Nodoka Kamiya" it wouldn't be the first time she tried a number that no longer applied to the name listed.
The womanly blinked her eyes once, twice, feeling a lot calmer now that she had to remember the full name of her youth. "Oh, uh... yes. This is she," she replied, raising her free hand to wipe away cold sweat. "I'm sorry but it's been awhile since I went by that name. I'm Nodoka Saotome now. May I ask who's calling?"
"Oh, yeah," the voice started nervously. "Um... my name is Usagi Tsukino. You might not know me but my mother was known Ikuko Shiozaki... do you remember her?" the voice asked, the tone of the female's voice becoming hopeful.
She fought it!
Really, she did!
Okay, in truth Nodoka reveled in it! After all, Ikuko was one of her major accomplishments!
And by 'major', she meant 'too drugged up to testify or ask for royalties'.
Ah, yes; she remembered Ikuko! Dedicated to her promised husband, hairy cooch, always fell for a bit of Rophynol in her morning coffee brewed in their dorm room, and never asked questions about why her underwear was missing the morning after. "...Yes?"
Didn't mean she couldn't have become a squealer in her later years and blabbed to the cops! She remembered what happened with her roommate BEFORE Ikuko. Loose lipped-bitch who was now some Arab's third wife...
Ah well, it still paid for Junior Year. Sacrifices had to be made, especially if they weren't hers...
When there were no screams or formal charges immediately thrown her way, Nodoka relaxed. The woman smiled a little and expanded with, "Oh yes, dear. I remember your mother. She was my favorite roommate while we were in college. We were together in the same dorm for three years straight!" Mostly because the dorms were booked straight through and no one else would trade.
"Really? That's great!" Usagi said happily. "And that is a co-in-ci... coinside... er..."
"COINCIDENCE, ODANGO HEAD!" another female voice shouted.
"Right!" the voice yelped. "It's a coincidence you knew her in college. I'm trying to save up the money so I can go. Mama already told me she and dad aren't going to spend a single Yen unless I can pick my grade up and MAYBE get a scholarship... well... I've only got a year and at this point, it would be easier to find a job. Do you know any leads?"
Even had she not been hornier than a grouping of rhinos—damn her biology teacher for being right and that she might need to know what a grouping of such would be called—she would have answered in the affirmative! After all, her manly son did—as soon as she told, him, anyway—have such a place where young girls with daddy issues could work.
Well, she assumed that last part. After all, who could Ikuko have married and not created daddy issues for any female spawn to develop?
"Oh yes, yes of course dear!" the Saotome Matriarch said excitedly. "My manly son, Ranma... he's starting up a business venture soon! Why, we're going tomorrow to check the building out and will be looking for employees very soon! Tell any and all of your lovely female friends. We'll give you all an honest try-out! Why, if you or they have any daddy issues, it's a plus in your court!"
The voice was silent for a moment. "...WOW! You hear that, Rei? They have a job for you too!"
"FUCK YOU!"
Nodoka smiled! Two girls with daddy issues!
"And Mako-chan's daddy died when she was young! She's had to raise herself!"
"Usag-chani!" a third mortified female voice shouted over the line.
Nodoka nearly squealed! Three girls with absent male paternal figures! "And do any of them have large busts, my dear?"
"Oh, no problem there! Mako-chan's are HUGE! "
"USAGI!"
Yes... the numerous kami may have cock-blocked her, but they did doth offer a huge DD bonus.
"Oh! And let's not forget my friend Ami," Usagi continued. "Her parents are divorced and she's had to live with her mother while her father enjoys his life!" she said excitedly. "And Minako's folks... why they're always on vacation out of the country, abandoning her!"
"...Wow..." a very gentle female voice spoke up. "I never thought of it that way but technically we DO have father issues."
"Hey, I resemble that remark!" another female voice shouted. "I have my cat Artemis to keep me company!"
Nodoka had to force herself not to do the Snoopy Dance. After all, doing it wet, and in only a towel, was asking for trouble.
She now had five females of legal age—please, Kami-sama, let them be of legal age—wanting a job, jobs that she had now available at her son's strip club.
Well, it was his when she told him... eventually... when she felt he was ready.
But could girls who had been 'touched' by her manly son strip? Well... for a few months, at least... and some guys loved that 'nine months' look.
"So..." Usagi carefully ventured to speak. "Is that a 'yes'?"
Nodoka grinned from ear-to-ear. "Why of course my dear! I just need contact numbers so I can get ahold of you... cell phones, home phones..." she was opening the drawer of the phone stand, getting out the number pad and a pencil. Oh, she hoped she could get a chance to maybe talk to Ikuko again! She so missed that tasty little bitch!
Especially when she was hammered on 'Jolly Ranchers' and begging someone to stop licking her creamy center...
But who was so weak enough to get wasted on candy? Really!?
Oh wait! The girl was prattling off numbers now, despite the many shouts of other girls make up rather distracting background noise. "Uh-huh... uh-huh... uh-huh..." the mature woman mumbled as she continued to write names and associated phone numbers. "And you're all of age, right?"
"Yep! We're all seventeen and Mako-chan is eighteen!"
"Makoto is eighteen?" a curious voice asked. "Since when?"
"Hey! I was held back a year because my parents died, all right!?" a firm female voice snapped.
"Ri~iiiiight," Nodoka stated, writing down numbers. "And this 'Haruka' girl?"
"Oh, she's a lesbian, but she's always flirting, promising to be faithful but always hitting on anyone..."
Nodoka nodded. Sounded like a fiancée... but missing something... like someone else who was crazier that would continue to make things difficult.
"Oh, and she's in a steady relationship. Granted I don't think either of them would strip but you could always call and ask! They even have another woman in their household, a Setsuna Meioh!"
That made Nodoka pause. Setsuna Meioh? No... it couldn't be. That was the name of her college's Guidance Counselor... damn bitch, always trying to keep her and Ikuko away from each other and mumbling something about crystals in Tokyo.
Nodoka frowned. She always hated that bitch. Obviously, smoking crystal meth or pot and never sharing! The Saotome Matriarch knew that Meioh had to be doing it! She was a Guidance Counselor!
However, from her scowl, a smile slowly developed. Turning two lesbians and screwing over her former guidance counselor?
How could she say no!?
The only way this could be perfect was if—
"And Haruka was recently complaining how her father was upset that they would never have any children..."
LOT... SOLD!
"Oh yes," Nodoka cooed. "I thank you very much for your assistance. I promise you, I'll get in touch with everyone when the time for try-outs comes. Honest!" she practically giggled like a school girl. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to what I was doing before. But thank you for helping make my day!"
"No problem!" Usagi chirped happily. "And thank you very much for giving me this opportunity! I won't let you down!"
Nodoka had to bite her tongue to keep from screaming, 'I know you won't' before slowly hanging up the receiver.
Not only five possible girls, but one or two lesbians and possibly her old guidance counselor for her son to test his manliness on...
This would almost make up for the time her friend, Kaoih had to relent on their bet to try and hook up their children, simply because her daughter had 'preferred kitty over doggy'.
Like that would stop Nodoka! Thanks to her son's curse, it didn't matter which end of the sausage they preferred, she would get her grand-babies; no matter what!
Not that any of the others would go that far! Kami knew that college Ikuko would have never stopped just because her child preferred outies to innies!
Luckily, it appeared their promise would be fulfilled, unless Ikuko was stupid enough to let her daughter date a useless man who claimed to be a reincarnated prince from a long dead kingdom...
But, really, what were the chances?
Nodoka smiled as she stood up straight. Ah yes! This was definitely a good day!
Now... to get back to her manly son's wonderful hands!
*Ding-Dong*!
"...OH KAMI-SAMA DAMN IT!" Nodoka cursed as the doorbell rang. Why were the kami so intent to keep her from her manly son!?
