The updated chapter. If you guys have other jokes, they don't have to be a Murphy's Law joke, y'know.

Rule 11 - If you listen to the radio while you play, there will be lots of slow, boring songs while you are in the heat of combat. Chances are, you will die about ten times, even if the difficulty slider is in the middle. But, right as soon as you loot the boss's body, something that gets your blood pumping, like I Will Be Heard, will come on, and you'll want to start another fight.

Rule 12 - You will look cool and calm while fighting a goblin war chief; taking it down without being hit in under one minute. But then you will freak out because a Kamikaze rat will attack you, and you will scream like a girl and waste half of your arrows and/or magic supply trying to hit it because it won't hold still.

Rule 13 - On your own, you can easily beat the game with the difficulty slider all the way to the right. With a friend over that will give you shit for it, you will find a way to die before the Emperor even arrives in your cell.

Rule 14 - You will always find rats wandering around on their own, but ogres seem to travel in packs of fours.

Rule 15 - Friendly fire isn't.

Rule 11 (Contributed by Paintball Willie) - You will trade all of your spare healing potions and soul gems and stuff for that cure disease potion because you were too lazy to fast travel to another city and use the altar. Later on, when you get killed by a sewer rat, you will realize you should have bought the 4 gold mandrake roots instead.

Murphy's Law of Combat with An Ally

Rule 1 - While attacking an enemy, all of your blows will hit your ally, causing him to kick your ass.

Rule 2 - Let the guards handle it; if you accidentally hit them, an ass kicking will be in order.

Rule 3 - When you're kicking ass, your ally will die.

Rule 4 - If your ally is kicking ass, you will die.

Rule 5 - If none of you are kicking ass, both of you will survive.

Rule 6 - Never use an essential as an ally; them kicking ass just makes you look bad.

Rule 7 - If your ally is a spell caster, every good spell they have will have an area of affect about it, and it will kick your ass.

Rule 9 - If you need him later on, he will get his ass kicked and die.

Rule 10 - As a rule, an ally's weapon will always break. Then starts the ass kicking.

Murphy's Law of Vampires

(Idea contributed by Alpha DragonWulf)

Rule 1 - You will never be able to find someone asleep when you really need to suck blood. (Idea contributed by Alpha DragonWulf)

Rule 2 - Even if you suck blood fifteen times from the same person, there will be one time in there where you slip, accidentally pickpocket them, and get the crap kicked out of you.(Idea contributed by Alpha DragonWulf)

Rule 3 - As soon as you become a vampire, you will have to go against someone that only uses fire spells. (Idea contributed by Alpha DragonWulf)

Rule 4 - How easy a lock is to pick is directly proportionate to how few lockpicks you have. (Contributed by SarahSultana)

Rule 5 - When you're the vampire, the term undead doesn't hold true.

You guys are doing good with the comments and jokes. Keep it up, and tell your friends (can't believe I just said that).