I'm very happy today. I have Chapter One published.

Lots'a love to my lovely beta Into The Wyld Wood! You rock! (In the words of my friend: You Sock my Rocks)

Eh, thanks for thaliastree13 for reviewing! Darth Maximus doesn't really count becuase I was mainly begging...sorry? I didn't mean it about my gamma, delta or epsilon. Really.

It says possible A/H because even though I am an A/H shipper, I don't know if I can incorporate any romance into this story.

Have a nice day, and enjoy!

Disclaimer...
Artemis Fowl the Second: -shudders- Can you even IMAGINE what Ky will put me through if SHE wrote the books? She'll probably knock Butler out, tie him in the closet, play VERY LOUD music in the hallways of Fowl Manor and have us do ridiculous parodies of 70s dance moves.

Holly: That'd be funny. 'Reckon I can mesmer Eoin Colfer and have him give the book rights away?

Artemis Fowl II: Nooooooooooooooo!


ARTEMIS FOWL

and the

T R E A C H E R O U S
R E V E N G E

.: un :.

Howler's Peak
Somewhere amongst the Alps

When your sole aim is to rule the world, it is an impossible feat to achieve alone. You need a helper, or servant, for accomplishing all the other tasks that call for your attention. This certain person, or people, have to think exactly the way you think yourself, and have the same aim. If all the criteria is met, one then has the ability to do one accomplish one task and have your partner accomplish another, even on the other side of the Earth, aboveground or below with your complete trust.

Opal Koboi was one such person with this wish, her aim to be the queen, princess or empress of the world both underground and aboveground. She had used her stolen, extra-ordinary magic to change her form so the officials would not recognize her. Opal magicked her hair to her shoulder and tied it up in a miniature ponytail, leaving one part of her hair on either side, changing the colour so it was a golden blonde. Her eyes became a shade of grey, and she changed to one metre, five centimetres.

Since the two people at the top of her 'hate' list had come back from the past and she had followed, Opal's plans were thwarted due to her ignorance and utmost desire for his silky sifaka lemur. Even as she thought about it now her fists clenched and she needed all her self-restraint to stop her lips pulling back over her teeth.

Mervall and Descant had been issued new orders to capture fairies that had just completed the Ritual every month. For elves, magic was primarily stored in and used by the occipital lobe at the back of the brain. By extracting and consuming this after performing the Ritual, the magic in the body would not increase, as it was at it's fullest. Instead, the body compensated for that, causing the magic to increase in potency.

However, it is not at all pleasant knowing you are eating part of a brain. Besides, Opal needed to consume other regents with that: blueberries, viper venom and the blood of a snow tiger at least seven years old. To solve this, she made them into chocolate truffles. The occipital lobe was crushed, and the blueberries and blood dried and evaporated with some thirty-year-old red wine. The venom was useless when not in a liquid form, so it had some mint, thyme and cinnamon combined into it.

What could be dried was dried and crushed, and then the little amount of venom was added. This was moulded and lathered with caramel and chocolate, then eaten once a day.

Now her new plan involved breaking her future self out of Howler's Peak and seek revenge on Fowl...again. To make the matters worse, in a strange, twisted way, Commander Kelp had increased the security on her even more. At least she had been moved from Atlantis high-security prison to Cell 84X, on land to about the same security but Police Plaza trusted it more if Haven's operatives could keep a watch on her. It was a rivalry thing.

The LEP operatives that had to guard her cell with irregular four-hour shifts had relaxed their standards, thinking nobody could get past them. Her centaurean rival, Foaly, had been issued a higher budget in order to upgrade all of the Peak's security systems, and his old scanning system had been replaced with DNA swabbing.

Having to wait in the foyer for about half an hour did not quell her mood either. When they finally arrived to operate the checks over her, she noted the passing of gold powder between them. One with bright blue eyes had the name of "Maxwell Taint, Corporal" written on his nametag, as well as his ex-position, Traffic.

"Hello, beautifuls." The elf started. "What brings you here?"

Opal would have rolled her eyes, but didn't dare risk blowing her cover. However, the hologram beside her sighed instead. It was of her own design, and took a lot of effort and money to transport from her time to now. She could've built it in the present time, but there was no knowing that Foaly would not have detected it.

A circular base of stealth ore was below, where no less than ten projectors resided. Four to cover like a cube, and four more inside to layer it and look much more realistic. In her design, she incorporated her more recent 3D holographic designs. The laser power was increased and the resolution greatened to reduce interference and distortion.

It projected a pixie wearing a very stiff synthetic-leather jacket and a low-cut, midnight black dress, complimenting her deep grey eyes perfectly. It had great slits on either side matched with stilettos made by the remaining two holograms. Her hair was a deep, wavy brown which was once clearly a blonde, and it would not take a genius to recognise that she and Opal's magicked image were related.

Opal's image was different, with a brown stiff-edged miniskirt and artificial fur parka over a beige shirt. Her shoes were platform sandals that seemed awfully high for her height. She either didn't notice the cold, or didn't care.

Corporal Taint's colleagues, a sprite, two elves and a gnome, seemed unable to speak, seemingly awed at the sheer beauty of these...visitors. Unperturbed, he himself seemed very confident and almost cocky. Opal knew she had a charmer on her hands, and this helped her plan by leaps and bounds.

"It was about time someone came to help my sister and I, Corporal Taint."

"Call me Max, please," he said with a smiled that oozed charm. "If I had known you two were out here I would've stopped our game of poker immediately," he said with a grin, "even though I was winning, Miss...?"

Opal allowed a faint smirk touch her lips, but inwardly she was groaning with annoyance. The nerve of some fairies!

"Destiny. This is my sister, Lani Zest."

Max's bronze arrow-shaped eyebrows rose. "Destiny? Why, a pretty name, madam. Forgive me for saying so, but it matches perfectly, as you are a very pretty lady."

He has nerve, Opal thought. She allowed a slight flush to her cheeks, playing the part of a dazzled pixie perfectly. Her right thumb reached over the bright red fingernails, searching.

Opal had hidden the controls to the holographic projection in her nails. It was typical nervous behaviour to play with one's fingers, so it was not hard to make a few wireless buttons to connect to her projector.

She pressed the one on her index finger three times, and her 'sister' rolled her eyes, shifting her weight from her left leg to her right.

"Lani is right. I should get to the point when we come to visit someone." Opal informed them sarcastically.

"Who did you come to visit?"

"Our half-cousin. Maybe you know her?"

"I might," Max grinned again in that overconfident manner, "What's her name?"

"Opal Koboi."

He blinked, and regained his composure at once. "I see. I should have guessed, lady Destiny. Beauty must run in your family."

On the inside Opal rolled her eyes and wanted to hit him...bad. But for the sake of her perfect plan she blushed, smiled shyly and said, "Well, not really. Can we go now?"

Opal started to move, but was halted by the sprite to her right, which she recognized as Private Chix Verbil, who simply shook his head.

"Why not?"

Corporal Taint paused, trying to think of a way to explain the situation to her. "You need to go through the DNA scanners."

"Then swab us," she snapped impatiently and quickly amended in what she hoped was a charming way, "please."

The elf handed over two cotton buds. In her left hand she had a pocket of saliva from the real Destiny her alias was based on. When claiming a cotton bud, she made sure one end was fully inside. Opal squeezed that hand, bursting the pocket and coating the cotton tip.

She was careful, as the next step required precision timing and accurate grip. Her left hand twisted towards the right, palm down and bud pointing through to the other. Then, her right hand held it gingerly as she reached it into her mouth and brushed the side of her cheek without touching it.

Opal was successful, and returned her bud to Max by passing it again to her left hand, but holding it in the centre, him claiming it on the clean end. It was scanned, and her pseudonym appeared on the screen behind him, beside the door.

You'd think that centaur would have a picture inserted, Opal thought.

He started to offer her 'sister' the other, but she intervened before it was claimed.

"Her leather jacket would get ruined." She said quickly. "Besides, she couldn't lift her hand to her mouth if she tried. It's too restraining."

Opal nudged the tip of her little finger, and 'Lani' nodded, opening her mouth lazily. A container was installed above, with saliva. After leaning up, the cotton was moistened, and returned.

Max had it scanned again, and 'Lani Zest' appeared on the screen. Zest was one of the lesser common surnames in the Lower Elements, and it was easy to gain all that was needed for aliases.

"We need to...frisk you," stuttered Chix.

Opal pouted.

"Do you have to?" She asked, her facial features contorting adorably.

By this time, Chix was extremely pink, an odd contrast to his usual green, Opal noticed. He looked toward Max, relieving himself of the burden. Max, in turn, started running his fingers back across his gelled hair, the highlights in his bronze hair dancing.

"Well," started Max, thinking out loud, "I guess it wouldn't make any difference, madam. I mean – yeah. Yeah. Okay, you can go through."

Opal smiled at him in a rather seductive manner, "Thanks so very much." Opal ran up to him and gave him a hug. He was short – ninety-eight centimetres, seven shorter then her. A brush of the nail on her forth finger and Lani rolled her eyes again.

Max was flustered. He seemed to be unable to use proper speech. He led them to a door and she and her projection entered the room. The visiting room was about two metres by two metres by two and a half high. It was all painted a stark, intimidating white.

The door swung shut behind them and the other door across the empty room opened allowing the future Opal Koboi to enter being escorted by a very unhappy gnome.

Destiny-Opal checked the security camera. It was on. She motioned for Future-Opal to stay put and found the camera's blind spot. She nudged the loose cloth wrapping the wire at the base of her miniskirt away. Her elevated sandals came off, and the opening at the base pulled back.

Assembling the pieces found inside, they fit together as a small, beige box. It was actually a miniature computer, and had about the same capabilities as an advanced Mud Man laptop. One of the cables was wound around the one on the cameras and inserted into the back, now Destiny-Opal had control.

Not that much control was needed however. All Opal needed was for an image of Future-Opal to stay inside until she left, and for 'Lani' to be wiped out altogether. She looped the scene of Opal sitting alone back into the camera for continuous play and then sat herself down in the chair facing her future self.

"Opal."

"Opal."

Destiny-Opal smiled at their little introductions. Of course she would know it was her. "You have been well, I presume. It must have been hard, inserting a human pituitary gland."

Future-Opal smiled, an exact mirror image. "Do you have a plan?"

"Yes. Your growth in Howler's Peak is perfect and suits my plan brilliantly."

The two chatted aimlessly for a while, Destiny-Opal disassembling her microcomputer and replacing the various parts in her sandals during the process.

She instructed her future self to stand on the base from which 'Lani Zest' was being projected. The layers of holograms hid her, and she waited patiently for Destiny-Opal to tell Corporal Maxwell that they had finished. She told him they would be flying to Tara in order for Lani to catch a shuttle to Atlantis to see her fiancé, and for Destiny to meet her boyfriend.

Future-Opal had to smother a laugh at Max's crestfallen face. Chix patted him on the back; the look on the Corporal's face was priceless. Destiny-Opal reminded them sternly of the matter at hand, and then with a touch of her finger, they exited.

Halfway across the room, Destiny-Opal seemed to suddenly remember something, and called to Maxwell, saying that 'Half-cousin Opal' seemed a little hysterical at the moment and he might like to wait a bit for her to calm down before he sent anybody to retrieve her.

Future-Opal let loose a giggle, and they flew off, not to Tara, but to hide out in Pennsylvania instead. They had some work to do.

And now, Opal finally had her most ideal partner – herself.


Bwhahahaha! Review?

I found this really cool and funny site all to do with Aluminium Foil Deflector Beanies, zapatopi-net/afdb-html (change the hyphens to full stops). I found it when looking for how to make a tin hat (talk about obsessed)...

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