A/N: An update after several months. It could be worse.
Your Ex-Lover is Dead by secondghost
.II.
He was standing in front of him, eyes wide, mouth slightly open. Yamato wanted to disappear right then and there and in his head he sent a thousand venomous curses to his friend Mimi who had to open her great big mouth and blurt his biggest secret to the one person he never wanted to tell it to. Taichi's silence said it all. Yamato wasn't sure if he was waiting for him to respond or if he was just horrified with the news he heard. Yamato tried to summon his courage to speak, to explain that this was all just one big giant misunderstanding, that Mimi was just kidding, and there was no way in hell he would have a crush on him, Taichi was his best friend after all.
But maybe this was his chance to get it all off his chest. Maybe this was his chance to stop being a lovestruck teenager and just offer his heart to him on a silver platter. He was tired of keeping it in, tired of pretending that friendship was the only thing he wanted. He wanted closure. Relief.
But before he could make a decision, Taichi's hands were on his shoulders. He was leaning towards him and Yamato froze, his brain now failing to process anything other than the fact that his hands were on him. Taichi leaned closer, closer, the pinkish shade of his lips becoming more vivid with every move. And before Yamato knew it, he felt the texture of lips. Warm, sweet, wet lips that would later devour him for two years.
Back then he wished it wasn't a dream. But now he wishes it had been.
Yamato was ready to go at 5 A.M. when K-san arrived at his apartment to pick him up. K-san didn't even have to point his rifle at him or spew a dozen threats to get the blonde out of bed. He hadn't been able to sleep the night before, so he was wide awake at 4:30 A.M. and decided to just get up, get ready, and save K-san the trouble of brandishing his weapons at him.
K-san complimented Yamato on his promptness and said he wished the rest of the band were just as responsible and reliable. K-san had picked up Akira first—the deepest sleeper of them all—who was now passed out next to Yamato on the passenger seat, drooling fountains. Yamato asked K-san while he was getting out of the car in front of Yutaka's house if he should wake Akira up, but K-san shook his head and said he'll just shoot him when they arrive at the studio. (Again, he wasn't joking.)
Five minutes later, Yutaka filed into the back seat besides Yamato, still in his pajamas and carrying a change of clothes. He smiled dreamily and said Yamato looked really nice that morning. It was true. So far, Yamato was the only member of the band who had managed to comb his hair.
Takashi was last, he was already standing outside his home when they arrived. K-san grinned and also complimented him on his promptness. Yamato scooted to the center seat while Takashi sat and buckled his seatbelt.
"It was nothing," Takashi said. "I was woken up by a sniper that shot at my window at 4:45, actually. And on the bullet, there was a note attached saying, 'Wake up or die.'"
Yamato sniggered. Takashi said, "K-san, I expect you to cover the damages."
K-san smirked. "Not a chance. With the money you'll be making with this new album, you'll be able to remodel your whole house. Be thankful I don't mind being your alarm clock."
"K-san, you're more than an alarm clock," Yutaka said, finally waking up. "You're like Death, but with guns."
They arrived at the studio around 5:15. They clambered out of the car and, just like K-san promised, Akira was nursing a bruise on his left arm from the BB gun K-san had used on him. He was scowling, and Yamato told Akira to just be thankful K-san hadn't used the goddamn rifle on him.
They went up to the fifth floor, where the largest recording studio of N.G. Records was located. Despite not getting any sleep and having thoughts of his ex-boyfriend plaguing his mind, Yamato was getting goosebumps at the prospect of recording in this particular studio. It was the same one used by Bad Luck when they produced a spectacular sophomore album that topped the music charts for weeks. This would be their first time recording there, and an excited bubble was forming in his stomach when he thought about being given the same microphone or headphones as the lead singer, Shindo Shuichi.
Yamato used to listen to Bad Luck with Taichi. He had a crush on Bad Luck's guitarist, Nakano Hiroshi, and Taichi would jokingly get jealous when Yamato gushed about how hot he was. For a while, his favorite song was "Smashing Blue," which The Wolves covered about fifteen times before they learned to write songs of their own. Taichi loved it when Yamato sang to him. Yamato sang to like twenty different people everyday but when it was just Taichi and him, it was something special. Taichi treated their one-on-one singing sessions like it was the most precious time in the world. His eyes would glaze over with peacefulness and a goofy, sincere, but still-lovely smile would appear on his face every time the blonde belted out in song.
After Taichi kissed him, his mind went numb for a while. Yamato couldn't process what just happened. Yagami Taichi, his best friend, the boy of his dreams, had just kissed him! He was surprised, happy, but also confused. Taichi had just broken up with Sora. Clearly he liked girls. Why was he kissing his male friend?
Yamato later learned that their kiss said it all. Although they looked satisfied, content, and perfectly happy, Taichi's relationship with Sora was anything but. Taichi had liked her—he liked holding her hand, walking her to class, and kissing her before and after school—but that was the extent of the physical activities he shared with her. Other than going out for food or watching each other's soccer and tennis matches, the two of them acted more like good friends than actual boyfriend and girlfriend. Sora even complained that Taichi would ditch her sometimes to hang out with Yamato—the best friend—and all the evidence she needed to realize their relationship was going nowhere was when Taichi forgot about her birthday and had come over to Yamato's house to play video games instead. When Taichi realized his blunder after their twelfth match in Soul Calibur, Taichi had dashed to the nearest boutique he could find and had bought the nicest item he could purchase with 200 yen in his pocket: a hair clip with a little pink gem in the corner. When he arrived at her house, Sora had thrown the hair clip in his eye, called him an inconsiderate jerk, and closed the door. Taichi had slumped back to Yamato's house afterward, irritated but very disappointed in himself for having forgotten about such an important occasion. Yamato asked if he wanted to talk about it, but Taichi just shook his head and said all he felt like doing was kicking some ass in Soul Calibur. Yamato complied.
The next day, Yamato found out they had broken up. Sora had called Taichi that night to ask how he truly felt about their relationship. Did he care about her? Did he love her? When all Taichi could say was, "Love is a really strong word." Sora had wailed over the phone, shouted, "It's over," and then hung up. Taichi was disgruntled and moody throughout that whole day, avoiding everyone's company except Yamato's. The blonde tried his best to humor him, told him first relationships are always shitty, and that there was always more fish in the sea. It worked, kind of. The rest of his friends, who were present at Sora's birthday party, weren't thrilled with how Taichi treated her, so they began to spend more and more time with each other for the next few weeks. Taichi came over to Yamato's house almost everyday after school, whether it was just to study, play video games, or talk about life. Yamato found himself reserving all his afternoons for him. He started going to his soccer matches regularly and Taichi even began to attend some of his band practices, even though The Wolves were still playing in Takashi's garage and doing mediocre covers of Japanese rock. Taichi would be there, smiling, stomping his feet to the beat, and clapping after they finished a song. The boys would tease him, call him a groupie, and Taichi would put his arm around Yamato, wink and say, "Of course. I'm Yama-chan's number one fan." Yamato had gone beet red afterward, and the boys just chuckled but looked knowingly at him in return.
Yamato doesn't remember the exact moment he fell in love with him. He just looked at him one day and he knew. The tanned skin, chocolate eyes, bushy hair, cheesy smile, and warm hands that always gripped his shoulders kindly—he loved them. He found himself thinking, dreaming, and daydreaming about them at every moment. It didn't matter if he was his straight, goofy, slightly idiotic male best friend—he loved him.
For a while, he kept it a secret. He was good at hiding his feelings—had plenty of practice all his life—until his friend, Mimi, who had come over to his apartment one day to work on a project after school, found a romantic and extremely embarrassing song he wrote about Taichi. Yamato had left the lyrics lying on his bed, which Mimi found while Yamato was in the kitchen making tea. She teased him about it, going into fits and squeals of "Oh my God" and "I knew it" before she began raving about how much of a cute couple they would be. Yamato made her swear she wouldn't tell anyone, especially Taichi. Yamato loved him, yes, but he didn't want to lose him. He valued their friendship too much.
Unfortunately, his secret spilled out of her mouth faster than a hole in a bag of coffee beans. Yamato was sick one day and unable to attend school. Taichi had come up to Mimi during lunch period to ask if she knew where Yamato was. Mimi told him Yamato was ill, and Taichi declared that he would be visiting Yamato's apartment later that afternoon to check up on him. Mimi got all excited and slyly commented that Taichi seemed to "love Yamato very much." Taichi, thinking that Mimi only meant it platonically, answered, "Of course I do. It's Yamato." Mimi then squealed, grabbed Taichi by the shoulders, and screamed, "He loves you too!" Taichi then paused, blinked, and proceeded to process what Mimi had just said. He asked Mimi what she meant by her declaration and Mimi, finally realizing her grave error, tried to remedy the situation by saying it was just a "slip of the tongue," but it was too late. Taichi already knew that Yamato was in love with him.
Taichi then cut fifth period and made his way to Yamato's house. Yamato remembered waking up from a nap and hearing knocking on his door. He opened it and saw Taichi, looking worried, apprehensive, and a little haughty. Yamato let him into the apartment and asked him why he had decided to visit. Taichi responded that he heard Yamato was sick from Mimi and wanted to check up on him and make sure he was okay. Yamato smiled, happy that Taichi cared so much about him, and said he was just fine. He just had a slight fever and cold. Then Taichi said, "Mimi told me something else too." Curious, Yamato asked him what that was. Taichi replied: "She said you love me."
Taichi was never one to skirt around details or avoid talking about something altogether. He was the type of person who plunged into his problems—and such topics—head on. Yamato remembered standing there, frightened. It felt like someone just poured a glass of cold water over his head and since he already had a fever, one can much imagine just how much he was trembling. His face went from red to green faster than a set of traffic lights and before he knew it, he had run to his bedroom and locked the door.
That didn't stop Taichi. While Yamato was in his room trying to soothe his aching, thundering heart, Taichi was standing outside the door, asking him to come out. Yamato didn't want to face him. Didn't want to see the look of pity in his eyes or hear the words of rejection that would tumble from his mouth. Yamato had worked so hard to keep his feelings hidden and just like that, it was over.
"Yamato, what are you daydreaming about?"
"Huh?"
"Wake up, man. K-san looks like he wants to kill you."
Yamato snapped out of his reverie. K-san was, indeed, standing over him and pointing one of his many machine guns at his forehead. Yamato shook his head, put on a smile, and said, "Sorry, guess I'm just a little sleepy."
"Okay, now that Yamato's awake," K-san said while still holding onto his machine gun, "I thought we should have a little meeting before we start recording some new stuff. Takashi, how many new songs have you guys written exactly?"
"Only two, so far," Takashi responded, taking out his notebook. "We have 'We Don't Want Your Body' and 'Bitches in Tokyo—'"
"You need to scrap 'Bitches in Tokyo.'"
"Why?" Akira asked K-san. "It's a funny song."
"And that's exactly why it's terrible. This is your sophomore album for goodness sake. You can be 'funny' in your debut album but for this, you need to be artistic! Masterful! And conscious! No more monkey business!"
"But that means we only have one new song," Yutaka whined.
"One is better than none. But still, that means you guys need to get cracking. Spit some lyrics and music!"
"It's not that easy K-san," Akira said. "Are you forgetting we just played a huge concert yesterday? Our brains still haven't recovered."
"The energy of musicians should never waver! Also, I promised Tohma we would release at least one demo this week. He has a big board meeting on Friday, you know. Stakeholders will be coming in and they want to make sure all our artists are—"
"Okay, okay, we get it," Yamato said. "We'll record that one song."
"Yeah," Takashi said. "But K-san, can we make a request?"
"And what is that?"
"Give us a day off."
"A day off?" K-san said, stroking his chin. "Bust a kickass demo and I'll give you guys a weekend off! You'll have time to run around with your mommies, daddies, girlfriends, or, in the case of Yamato, romantic male partners—"
"Again, we get it K-san," Yamato said. "But I also have something I want to make sure of. Do you guys really want to incorporate more jazz elements into this next album? Yutaka, you said something about saxophone and trumpet—"
"Yeah, but that was just a thought," Yutaka said. "None of us play those instruments, so we definitely need someone to collab with. I can always bust some sounds from my synthesizer though."
"As for the collaboration, I can arrange something," K-san said.
"K-san, I don't know how to say this and kill me if you have to but, you're our manager," Akira said. "You can't be in our band."
"I wasn't going to suggest that," K-san said. "I suggest you tap into your musical networks. I will do the same. There are quite a number of artists here at N.G. who would die to just collaborate with The Wolves."
"Okay, we'll do that," Yamato said. "Is there anything else?"
The rest of the band shook their heads.
"Alright," K-san said. "Get in there and record! We'll start with Akira first, of course."
Akira sighed, picked up his electric guitar, and made his way into the recording room. "I haven't even had breakfast yet," he whined.
They left the studio in a huff. All of them were hungry, sleep-deprived, and just all around pissed that they knew they couldn't be in each other's company for a while. The Wolves spun off to their respective destinations like lone satellites and Yamato, not wanting to go home and brood on more memories about his ex, decided to make his way to his favorite bookstore again. It was one of few places he could hang out where he could have a sense of peace. Besides, he was friendly with the storeowners. They always smiled and exchanged greetings when Yamato entered, and if a fan or paparazzi tried to assault him, they would always escort them out of the store.
Of course, Yamato was afraid of running into Taichi again. But maybe it was really just a coincidence. Yamato doubted he would run into him at the same place again, at the same week too, no doubt. Besides, it was an independent bookstore. A hole in the wall. It was the type of place someone wouldn't frequent unless they were big fans of it (which Yamato was).
But unfortunately, Yamato ate his own words.
He stepped into the bookstore. Smiled and said hello to the storeowners. He made his way to the fiction section, which was right next to the small magazine stand. If only he knew that he would be standing there, his face covered by a newspaper, surprised yet pleased that he would once again run into the blonde.
He lowered the newspaper, cracked a smile, and said his name. "Yamato."
.TBC.
A/N: Oh, cliffhanger. Again, reviews are appreciated. Thank you to those who have.
