Thanks to Tiger Timberwolf, whose comment was the beginning spark for this story. The comment: "Heh. Not bad. I'd say...discoveries could include a great deal of local flora and fauna." The mention of discovering local fauna made me think, "I wonder what would happen if the Decepticons came across a zoo?"

Once again, Blackout fascinates me with his hidden amount of human knowledge. I guess maybe he's the only one that really pays attention to his surroundings.

Note: If you don't get the walrus joke, go read my story, "The Great Canadian Wilderness".


"Blackout, what is that thing that you're tormenting?" Starscream asked.

"I believe the Earth child called it a "cat", Sir," Blackout replied holding it up by its hind legs and observing it. The cat wasn't used to being handled so roughly and was frantically trying to escape.

"Let it go! The last thing we need is to have to carry around some hideous Earth being!" he snapped.

"Hey, I think it kind of looks like Barricade! Don't you think?" Blackout asked, holding the cat up to Barricade's face.

"I look nothing like that disgusting fur demon. Now move it before I kill it," Barricade threatened.

The cat wiggled and got free, then took off running. "Aww, it got away," Blackout said with a hint of disappointment in his tone.

They suddenly came to a park of some sorts, filled with various creatures locked in cages. "What the hall…?" Bonecrusher gasped.

"Okay, who's idea was this?" Starscream asked.

"What idea?" Brawl inquired.

"The idea to take a shortcut through this place," he continued. Everyone pointed at Frenzy. "I should have known…"

"So what is this place?" Barricade asked.

"It seems to be a prison of sorts for various organic creatures…" Starscream observed. "Don't touch anything. They must be locked in here for a reason!"

"Aww, these things are kind of cute," Brawl said, observing a cage full of monkeys. He reached in to touch one. "Ow! It bit me!"

"I said don't touch anything!" Starscream scolded.

"I kind of like these things over here," Barricade said.

Blackout walked over to him to read the description of the creatures he was looking at. "It says, "Mexican Wolf". Hmm…wolf… I've heard of those somewhere…" He glanced around the area and realized that these organic creatures were this planet's animal life, just like that cat he was torturing earlier. "Oh, I know what this place is! Humans keep animals locked in here so they can stare at them, throw food at them, and poke them with sharp objects!"

"Sweet mother of Primus, what are they flinging at me?!" Brawl screamed.

"So, the kitty cat likes wolves, hmm?" Blackout asked.

"For the last time, I look nothing like those fur beasts!" Barricade snapped.

"What about these?" Blackout asked, pointing at his helm sensors. "Hey Bonecrusher, what do these look like to you?"

"Cat ears," Bonecrusher replied.

"They do not!" Barricade protested.

"And why do you have these claws, like a cat?" Blackout continued, grabbing his wrist and holding his hand up.

Barricade yanked his hand free. "Lots of Decepticons have claws! Hell, some Autobots do too!"

"And you like to fall asleep in the sun…and chew on plants…and you're cantankerous and irritable- just like a cat!"

"I'm not irritable!!" he snapped angrily.

"Barricade chews on plants?" Bonecrusher asked.

"No!" Barricade defended.

"Barricade, just moments ago, Starscream and I made you spit out a stick," Blackout countered.

"You can't prove that!"

"Oh, and also, whenever someone scritches this one spot on your head, you get all euphoric and start purring."

"I do not- woah…" Blackout started scritching his head, causing him to instantly drop his argument and calm down. His engine started to make a low rumbling, almost like a purring sound. He suddenly realized what he was doing and yanked his head away. He glared at Blackout. "This…means…nothing!"

"On second thought, his head kinda makes me think of Batman…" Bonecrusher pointed out.

"Hey, yeah!" Blackout agreed. "Wait…who's Batman?"

"I don't know…I saw it on a poster somewhere on the way here…" Bonecrusher thought out loud.

Barricade noticed something behind Bonecrusher and smiled evily. "Hey Bonecrusher…"

"Hrmm?"

"Walrus!" he smirked sadistically, pointing to the walrus enclosure. Bonecrusher screamed with a voice about 3 octaves higher and ran away from them.

Scorponok was having fun harassing the tigers. He chased them all over the enclosure and even got a tigress up a tree. Bored with the tigers, he advanced on the zebras and the prairie dogs that were not too far away.

"Where's Frenzy?" Barricade asked. He was answered moments later when a frightened llama ran past with the mini-con clinging to its back, riding it like a horsie. "Oh…"

"What did I tell you about touching things?!" Starscream growled. "Frenzy, put that thing back where you found it!"

Frenzy and the llama ran under him, causing him to lose his balance and fall over backwards, smashing into a glass enclosure. The other Decepticons nearly fell over laughing at him.

"Wow, so that's our self-proclaimed leader right there, huh?" Blackout laughed.

"Up yours!" Starscream snarled.

"Wow Screamer, you're right! You are a better leader than Megatron!" Barricade said sarcastically. "You see, Megatron had a habit of doing everything right, so we never really had a chance to laugh at him for doing stupid stuff like this!"

Starscream shook the glass off his head and gave him the finger. He suddenly felt something slithering across him and noticed that there were two anacondas wrapping around him. He quickly jumped up. "Oh Primus!! Get them off! Get them off!"

"Look Scorponok! Snakes on a Plane!" Blackout laughed. Scorponok let out an amused trill.

Starscream pulled them off and hurled them into the crocodile enclosure. He backed away quickly before they could escape.

"What's the matter, Starscream? Scared of a couple of reptiles?" Bonecrusher asked smugly.

"Wow, Bonecrusher, was that a taunt?!" Blackout asked, amazed.

"Yep."

"Nice, B.C.!" He high-fived him.

"I think we've had enough fun for one day…" Starscream growled. "Alright, let's go!"

"Take care, Bobo, Chim-Chim, and Peanut!" Brawl called to the monkeys. Peanut reached out and stole something from him. "Hey! Give that back!"

"We'll get you a new sippy cup, Brawl. Just keep moving," Barricade replied, pushing him along.


Hopefully my next update on anything will be soon. I start school tomorrow. DX