Dean had boobs for about two hours before things started getting weird between Cas and himself.

Dean assumed that she hadn't fully appreciated the awkward tension between them before, but now it was as if there was a giant neon sign above their heads that told everyone that they were fucking. When Dean first went to the local drug store, the girl behind the counter full out goggled at Cas for a good ten minuets. When Dean went up to the counter, she leaned forward as she put the pads in a plastic bag.

"Is that your boyfriend?" She whispered quietly, her eyes leaving him for milliseconds before flashing back.

"No!" Dean cried out of reflex, then she saw the look in the cashier's eyes, like she had spotted a weak gazelle at the edge of the herd. Dean hurried to fix his mistake. "But he's not interested in dating, really."

"Well, maybe I can change that." She grinned, her smile wide and proud, like a cat's.

"Trust me, you can't. The dude's hopeless. Won't get laid. It's like he's an alien or something." When the cashier's feral smile didn't change Dean grabbed the bags from her hands and walked away, grabbing Cas by the arm and pulling him out of the store. He didn't resist, smart of him, really.

"Dean? Is there an issue?" Cas asked once they were out of the store, tilting his head to the side. Dean said nothing, instead pulling the Impala's keys from his pocket and starting the car. The ride home was silent, but she could see Cas looking at him out of the corner of her eye.

Eight days later and things were getting worse. They had finally called Bobby, much to Dean's embarrassment. Bobby hadn't laughed luckily, but called him and Cas both idjits and said that they had melded with some serious curse. He was still researching, but it didn't look like much was coming up.

Cas just stood by the bed while Sam and Bobby talked over the phone, both looking through the various books they kept on the topic. He was just staring at Dean in silence. Dean tried to ignore him as he listened to his family's conversation, but it was hard to ignore. When Sammy and Bobby had hung up, hours later, Cas quietly sat down next to Dean.

" I believe I might have an idea of how to break the curse." Cas said, deadpan.

"What? Why didn't you tell us?" screeched Dean.

"I fear it may have been akin to the Sleeping Beauty curse." Cas said. Sam snicked and Dean pushed him. "Okay, what does that mean?"

"Like the story of sleeping beauty, the person who is cursed is put into a drastically different state until they receive a kiss from a person who truly cares for them. I was merely a carrier in this processes. You must receive the affections." Sam's snickering turned to laughter, and even Dean gave a small snort.

"Okay, so this is going to be harder than I though." Dean pushed Sam again, but the lump didn't even rock far, let alone fall off the bed like she wanted.

"I was there when the original sleeping beauty curse was cast, and I can assure you failing to break the curse will not end well for either of us."

"Okay, who can I go kiss then? Not to be too much of a downer, but not a lot of people have these deep and endless feelings for me. Most people who even got close died a long time ago." The room is silent for a while, Cas staring out the window in thought, and Sammy staring at the floor for lack of words.

"Sam, could you give me a minuet to speak to Dean alone?" asked Cas, quietly, still looking outside at a small bird nest being built by two bluejays. Sam looked at Dean questionably, and only stood when Dean nodded his head in conformation.

"I'll go get us some diner then. Pizza fine?" Sam said as he grabbed the keys to the Impala and his wallet from a nearby table.

"Sausage and peppers or I'll just send you back." Dean said. Being a girl hadn't changed her tastes, or her appetite, and she was gaining some pretty nice curves thanks to it. Sam nodded and without anything else he was out of the room. Dean turned to Castiel. The birds on the tree were still working on nest, but at this point there was only one there, working to put all these little balls of string and broken twigs into a home. "What's up, Cas?"

He didn't react for a moment, his eyes lost in the motion of the bird. He turned slowly when he finally moved, unusual for his usually precise movements.

"I don't mean to alarm you, but I believe I know the answer to our problem." Cas moved closer, almost unbearably slow, to place a hand at the back of her neck.

"Cas? What are you-" Dean's sentence was muffled by the press of Cas's lips to her own. His hand gripped around her long hair, pulling her as close as possible. It was almost too close, but Dean found she didn't mind as much when Cas began to move, his teeth accidentally prickling the skin. He was sloppy and uncoordinated, obviously very new to this no matter what the pizza man and countless centuries of watching humankind had taught him. Dean knew what to do however, and after recovering from the shock deepened the kiss, sliding her tongue into Cas's mouth and wrapping her arms around the angel's waist. She was melting into a warm mess and the only thing that grounded her was the skin to skin contact. Dean stood up, bringing her hands to his waist, pushing the trench coat aside and grabbing the hem of Cas's pants, reveling in the feeling.

It was then, when things could not seem to get any more perfect, that Dean realized what was happening.

It dawned on her in a crashing landslide of panic. She quickly froze and pulled back from Castiel. This was her friend, someone who had literally gone to the end of the world and back with her, and now they were making out. This was messing everything up, it was breaking apart everything that Sam and Dean had worked up to make. Their own little family, going to end in heartbreak and the angel inevitably running away because of course Dean couldn't be good enough for him, being as broken as she was.

And there was the small issue that she wasn't gay.

Or into dudes, to clarify. He didn't think this new body changed anything about his orientation.

"What was that?" Dean muttered, trying not to scare Cas away. He already looked startled, out of breath, and aroused. Dean was automatically uncomfortable, and tried to keep her gaze away from the bulge so obviously visible between the fabric of his coat and in his pants. Cas did nothing to hide it, making it much harder for Dean to forcefully avert her eyes. She was in much of the same state as Cas, a weird tingly warm feeling that settled in the pit of her stomach that was utterly new to her, but that didn't mean she had to show it. This was bad enough, she didn't want it to end even worse...

"I was hoping to break the curse." He said, obviously trying to sound as formal as always, but there was a breathless hush to his voice. "It did not appear to work."

Dean snorted, masking his conflicted feelings behind his humor. "I'd say so. Sorry man, but I don't swing that way Cas." Cas simply tilted his head.

"I do not understand that terminology."

"Just, don't kiss me, alright? And don't you dare tell anyone about this. Got it?" Dean said, slightly nervous that Cas wouldn't get it. He wouldn't understand that Dean wasn't gay, couldn't be, and that she wouldn't break apart their little family for her happiness. It was last thing that they had in the world.

"I'm sorry, Dean." Cas said blankly. Dean nodded and sat down to keep her knees from shaking. She chuckled softly, but she saw how Cas looked down and she stopped. He pushed the look and all of his memories from the kiss out of his mind, turning away from Cas and his puppy-dog eyes.


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thank you, my darlings.

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