Chapter 2: Sing Sing Revolution: Mario Mix

Mario and the gang were running around on Delfino Island when a fat, blue pianta wearing a blue tiki shirt with flowers walked up to them. They stopped running.

"Hello do you guys know who I am?" The pianta asked.

"No." Mario answered.

Wario held his mouth in awe. "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! YOU'RE JOHNNY SALAMI!!!!!!!!!"

"Yeah that's me. Good to know I have a really, and I mean REALLY, fat middle-aged bastard who eats too much as a fan." Johnny Salami said.

"So I take it you are a celebrity?" Luigi asked.

"Kind of. I produce records and my pop superstar just quit so I need a new slave, I mean singer." Salami explained.

"Choose me. I have a beautiful voice." Wario said jumping up and down like a crazy fangirl.

"Let me hear ya sing first."

"Okey dokey!" Wario said. Then he got in a pose and took in a deep breath. "I can sing! I can sing! I can sing real good! Let me have a REEEEEEEEEECCCCOOOOORRRRRDDDDDD deal and I'll make you HAAAAAPPPPPYYYY because I can sing real weeeeellllllll! My voice is like an angel soaring through the sky! I can eat a lot and still sing well! I can sing! I can sing! I can SING! I CAAAAANNNNN SIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!!!"

When Wario looked around he saw that everyone was either dead or unconscious. "Hey! I demand respect! Do you guys want me to sing another one?"

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Waluigi screamed as he jumped up and punched Wario in the face.

Everyone got up. Johnny Salami then spoke. "Anyone with talent wanna audition? Well if you do come down to the station right now. I gotta go since the line is long."

Three hours later Diddy was ready to sing. He walked up to the stage with the rest of the crew in the other room ready to hear how good he was.

"Alright, kid, so what's your name?" Salami asked.

"I'm Diddy Kong."

"Okay. Now what are you going to sing?"

"One of my original songs, it is titled I'm Diddy Hoohoo."

"Begin."

Diddy started to sing. "Hello world. You may be wondering who I am. Well the answer is this: I'm Diddy, hoohoo. Yes that's me. I'm Diddy, hoohoo."

Diddy kept singing until Johnny Salami yelled "Stop, stop you are making my ears bleed! Next!"

Diddy flipped him off and walked off stage angrily.

DK got up on stage. "Next!" Salami screamed. "I know you haven't auditioned but I hate ties." DK growled and charged at Salami. "Security!" The guards rushed on stage and pulled DK away. "Good riddance. Monkeys these days. Oh well. Next!"

Mario walked on stage. "I'm Mario and I am gonna sing the original song that I created titled Mustache."

"Begin." Johnny said.

Mario took a deep breath and then squealed "Mustaches! What are they for? They are here to keep your face warm! I got one but you don't so I feel sorry for you! NOT! You suck because you don't gotta mustache! Hahahahahaha! I don't like you because you don't have a mustache!"

"Stop. Don't go no further. I'd rather have that fatass Wario as my new singer than you. You make my dad snoring sound great."

Mario started to cry. He ran off stage and then Yoshi walked on stage.

"What's your name?" Salami asked.

"Yoshi."

"What are you gonna sing then, Yoshi?"

"Yoshi."

"An original song no doubt. Fire away, dinosaur dude." Johnny ordered. "I just hope you aren't as bad as Mario."

"Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi Yosh. Yoshi Yosh Yo Yo Yoshi!"

"Is that all you can say man?"

"Yoshi." Yoshi said as he nodded.

"Then get the freak off my stage." Salami said pointing to the exit.

Yoshi smiled happily for some odd reason and ran away.

"Man these people suck."

That was when Wario walked onto the stage. Salami screamed in fear. "OH MY GOD!!!! IT IS THE SINGING MURDERER!! LAST TIME YOU SANG YOU MURDERED TEN PEOPLE! COUNT THEM, TEN PEOPLE!!!!!"

"But this time I have improved my voice. Just listen!" Wario sad.

He then started to sing Loving You and had a beautiful voice. Well, until he hit the high F note. He screaming it so loud and shrill and a terrible shrill loud scream that Johnny Salami's head exploded.

"Oh no! I killed my hero! NOOOOOOOO!!!!! JOHNNY SALAMI IS DEAD! WHY OH WHY MUST I SING SO TERRIBLY! I AM A MURDERER!!!!!" Wario screamed.

A cop snuck up behind him and whacked him in the head with a night stick.

"Ow what did you do that for?" Wario asked.

"You said you were a murderer and I didn't wanna die. So tell me, who did you murder?" The cop asked.

"I killed eleven people." Wario admitted sadly.

"Oh well that's not too bad." The cop said.

Then Wario said "One of them was Johnny Salami."

"OH MY GOD!!!!!!" Then the cop whacked Wario on the head again. "You're under arrest for murder!" The cop handcuffed Wario and took him to the station.

When they arrived they shoved Wario in a dark room with a table and two chairs on opposite ends. After a few hours two cops came in.

"Hello Wario. Why did you do it?" A blue pianta cop said gently.

"Yeah why?" Another cop who was a red pianta said as he punched Wario in the face.

"Do'h!" Wario screamed as he got punched in the face.

Then Homer Simpson appeared. "Hey that's my line!"

"Shut up Homer!" The red pianta said.

"Hey you shut up! You're just jealous because my T.V. show is better than yours!" Homer screamed.

The red pianta hit Homer in the face with a nightstick. "Shut up! I don't have a T.V. show!"

"Oh OK then." Homer disappeared.

The red pianta hit Wario in the face again. "Ouch!" Wario wailed. "Why do you keep hitting me?"

"Why did you do it?" The red pianta said as he hit Wario again. "Tell me now!"

"It was an accident. I just started singing and his head blew up!" Wario screamed.

The red pianta poked him in the eyes and beat him with his nightstick for a few seconds. "Tell the truth! No one's singing is that bad!"

"Don't feel bad." The blue pianta said. "I won't be mean to you just because you killed someone with your singing like that mean old cop over there."

"Hey!" Wario said. "You just insulted my singing!"

"Oh. I'm sorry." The blue pianta good cop said.

"Well I'm not." The red pianta bad cop said. Then he hit Wario in the face.

A few minutes later he was still being questioned. Then the rest of the crew got thrown in that room.

"Why are you guys in here?" Wario asked.

The bad cop hit him and said "I didn't say you could talk."

Mario got up and said "We were thrown in here because we were accomplices of the "Salami Killer" but I've never heard of him."

"That's me!" Wario yelled.

"Oh. Man I hate you Wario! We got thrown in here because you can't sing!" Luigi said as he whacked him in the face.

"Ouch! Why is everyone hitting me today?" Wario asked.

The red pianta hit him again. "Because we can, bitch!"

"We gotta get outta here!" Waluigi screamed.

"Yoshi!" Yoshi agreed.

"Yeah! I mean these cops are mean!" Diddy complained.

"No we ain't! Shut up!" The bad cop said as he kicked Diddy in the nuts.

Diddy fell to the ground in pain. DK pulled his nephew up and went to attack the bad cop. He completely pulverized him and then finished him by breaking his neck. Then all of a sudden the good cop got angry and stared at DK. He ripped his face off to reveal…

To be continued.