"I'm tired of normal people," Trowa admitted after their coffee arrived. "With normal people, you have to pretend to be normal. I never had to do that with my friends."
"Then make new friends," Heero said as he lifted his cup for a sip.
"If it's so easy, then show me how you did it," Trowa countered.
"I never bothered," Heero admitted. He turned his face to gaze out of the tinted window. The snow was falling harder now.
"That's because you understand how I feel."
"Maybe, but why bother. I never had friends before I met you guys, why do I need more?"
"Exactly," Trowa said softly. "There is no one out there that can understand us the way we do. With Quatre, Duo and Wufei, we don't need masks. We remove ours, they remove theirs. It's easier that way."
"Just come out and say it," Heero said with a restrained sigh. "You love him. You've spent a long time reflecting on those thoughts and it took you eight years to gather the courage to come looking for me to go help you talk to Quatre again. You're afraid he's either forgotten you and moved on, or hates you for the abandonment."
"Remember what you told me? A long time ago?" Trowa asked quietly.
Heero lowered his eyes to his hands, his brow furrowing slightly as his lips drew into a tight line. He was quiet for such a long time that Trowa was poised to repeat the question until Heero spoke up with a tone of resigned frustration. "I told you to follow your emotions."
"Then why are you giving me such a hard time by taking your advice?"
"Trowa…" Heero's voice was concerned as he lifted his eyes. "If it was meant to be, it would have been already, don't you think?"
"No," Trowa answered instantly. His gaze was intense as he held Heero's eyes. "I think sometimes, good things come to those who wait."
"Some people wait for death," Heero said quietly, and then broke the eye contact.
"I'll test the waters… for the both of us. I'll send a telegram."
"Fine by me," Heero said, not really caring, as he once again turned his face to the street outside. They spent the rest of the time in the café in companionable silence. Heero paid the tab, to Trowa's protests, and together, they walked outside.
"Where are you staying?"
"A hotel, not too far away."
Heero shrugged one shoulder. "I'd offer you a place to stay, but I only have one bedroom."
"It's alright; don't worry about it, Heero."
"It's been nice to see you again. I guess a man doesn't realize how lonely he truly is until someone he actually counts as a friend comes back into his life."
"I know exactly how you feel," Trowa said. After a moment, he reached out and put a hand on Heero's shoulder. A boy, but not a boy anymore he mused to himself as he gazed into the handsome face. Heero gave him a semblance of a smile, and then Trowa dropped his hand so they could continue walking down the sidewalk.
"What happened with Duo?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Did you fight? Did something happen?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Duo has his own business, but he lives with Quatre," Trowa continued. They had to separate as a group of people plowed through them. When they rejoined, he continued talking. "I don't know what to make of it."
"If they're happy, then why not let them be happy?" Heero's tone was clipped. This was information he didn't want to know. "And how long has Duo lived with Quatre? He's been this close to me for how long?"
"This close for at least five years. Before Quatre came back from France, they were living apart."
"I think this is a bad idea," Heero said. He stuffed his hands into his pockets as his shoulders pulled forward. "A very bad idea."
"Heero, you know that if Duo doesn't want to be found, he won't be. I've been keeping tabs on Quatre for a long time and then suddenly, there he is. He's been under your nose for a very long time, hidden, like a shadow. I think he wants to be found. I think he's ready to be found. When did you stop searching for him?"
"I never started looking for him," Heero admitted. "I just wanted that distraction out of my life. For good. Once we retired from the Preventers, I didn't even say goodbye. I just left. Duo isn't the only one who knows how to hide and stay hidden."
Trowa paused, studying his friend in silent wonder. Heero continued to walk for a few steps until he realized that he was alone. He halted and turned, lifting his chin up with a bit of defiance. "What?"
Trowa opened his mouth to speak, but Heero interrupted him.
"Look, I'll help you with Quatre, but the situation between Duo and I is over. Understand? I don't want to find him, I don't want to talk to him, and I don't want to see his face. Am I clear?"
"What does he bring back, Heero?"
"What does he always bring back? Pain, misery and destruction, all rolled into one cheerful, mouthy ball."
"I wish you'd be open, Heero."
"You know how I am, things haven't changed," Heero said. He walked back to Trowa. "You want things back to the way they were. You want Quatre… to want you. To depend on you. He doesn't. He's grown up, we all have," he said calmly. "Life is full of changes. Some are bad, most aren't good, but it's life. You have to adapt. We're not Gundam pilots anymore. We are five badly messed up individuals who needed each other once…" Heero shook his head to clear it. "But not anymore."
"I count you more as a brother than a friend, Heero," Trowa said. "That will never change. Needing people will never change and it is not a sign of weakness. When we were younger, and more foolish, we would have thought of it as such, but it's not. It's strong to need and be needed." He paused, and then added, "You said you knew how to be hidden, too, and the funny thing is, I found you shortly before I found Duo."
"You're not making sense, Trowa."
"To you? No, I wouldn't be. But I need to get through to you on this matter. We're a rare breed, Heero. And rare breeds need to stick together, or else, we'll be extinct far too soon."
"Maybe extinction isn't such a bad idea," Heero said as his shoulders fell. "Call me this evening; I know you have my number. We'll go eat and you can tell me about the telegram you're sending Quatre. Trowa?"
"Yeah?"
"Just leave Duo and I out of the equation."
"I can't do that," Trowa whispered to Heero's retreating back. "Not now, not after this."
