AN: The tensing in the first paragraph was confusing me. I hope it doesn't confuse you too.
"Um…hello?" Eli sleep-whispers into the phone. He sounds groggy and confused, but not angry like the other Eli. Clare feels strength growing in her as his voice calms her down. She keeps trying to stay positive, trying to believe that he will be there with her, holding her hand and helping her through the hardships of pregnancy. She knows it won't be an easy experience, but perhaps Eli could make it easier on her.
She was about to find out.
"Hi, Eli… Good morning." Clare tried her very best to sound normal, but she knew that she had majorly failed.
"Clare, it's like 6am. What's wrong?" Eli asked, not sounding irritated in the least. Clare was happy. She could deal with this Eli. She could love and care for this worried Eli. Worried Eli would hold her hand and help her through this.
She took a deep, refreshing breath and sighed into the phone. "I need you now. Will you come?"
"Anything for you, Blue eyes. I'll see you in ten." The click on the other side both comforted and terrified Clare. He was coming over. He was happy.
She was about to turn his complicated world even more upside-down.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()
I saw the hearse pull up to the curb in front of my house, and suddenly my strength and confidence were gone. Eli stepped out from the driver's side and I caught sight of his magnificent eyes. His hair was messy, as if he'd jumped out of bed and rushed to my side. He really does care about me.
Will he care about our baby that much?
Baby. OUR baby.
I may vomit.
I'll just stare at him lustfully instead. Eli is the most attractive guy I've ever seen in my life. All of his instability and anger just melts away from my memories when I see those stunningly profound eyes.
I shake my head and bring myself back to reality. My lust for him is what got me into this situation anyway.
His lust played a part, too, but it was ultimately my giving in that led us to this fateful day.
Sex: A complicated beauty in my world. A stressful, hot, beautiful, terrifying aspect of my relationship with Eli. Sex with Eli was fantastic… Mind-blowing even. The concept is so unmistakably intimate and breath-taking. The way he moves inside of me, like it'll fix everything, keeps me running back for more.
They used to call me Saint Clare, back in high school.
In college, nobody really knows my name. I'm not a saint, a sinner, a slut, anything. I'm just another young woman sitting amongst waves of unfamiliar faces. I prefer it that way. It's easier to be nobody than to be somebody with expectations on their shoulders.
Eli and I attend George Brown University together. We commute there together on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The rest of the week, we work. Eli works at a repair shop a few miles from my house and I'm a waitress at a restaurant called Lakeview. The tips are great and I get a good amount of hours. He makes good money at the shop. We could easily get an apartment together with our incomes. Easily. We have a joint bank account with 3000 dollars in it. I easily have another two grand in rare coins and in my personal bank account. I'm sure Eli has some more stashed, too. We work hard. We have money.
We are going to be okay.
We can move in together and take care of our child together. He's 19. At least we are adults with jobs.
We'll be okay.
Right?
…Ugh.
What if he doesn't want that? What if he doesn't want this life? What if my Eli disappears and the other Eli comes back? What if he yells and screams and tells me that there is nothing in his life he wants less than to raise a child with me?
I'm back to that "going to vomit" feeling.
I snap out of my trance to the door opening.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
"Clare?" he called from the door, worry plastered on his face. "Where are you?"
"Right here, Eli." She was literally standing two feet away from him. She caught him off-guard and he jumped back a bit.
"Shit… You scared me." He let out a chuckle and walked over to her. He pecked her cheek tenderly and held his forehead against hers, his eyes closed, breathing in her scent and her presence. "What do you need, beautiful?"
Every word comforted her more. He was having a good day. He was the Eli that she was madly in love with. They were going to be okay.
"You. I just need you, Eli." Clare hugged him tightly and held back the welling tears in her eyes. "I love you."
Eli pushed her away a bit and stared into her eyes. His voice deepened seriously and his face fell. "I love you too. What's wrong, baby?"
The nickname wasn't one that Eli ever used. He wasn't usually like that. He liked her real name. The use of the word "baby" was more than Clare could handle. He knew something was wrong. He knew that she needed him to be sweet, to make her feel comforted. Her hormones were raging with a fury that she didn't quite understand. Clare started to cry frantically into his shoulder. She gripped him as tightly as she could, clinging onto him as if he was her source of life and sustainability. Eli returned the hug securely and protectively. He was shaking; scared out of his mind by the way Clare was acting.
The reality of her situation had finally registered with her mind, her heart and every other part of her.
"Tell me what's wrong." He begged her. "Please?"
Her knees weakened and she practically fell to the ground. She was absolutely powerless with the fear and devastation of the situation. She curled herself up into a ball and buried her face. He knelt down next to her, feeling panicked and nauseous.
What could cause her to cry like this? Eli wracked his brain. Clare is not irrationally emotional. Why is she so-
Then he realized it. She had vomited in class on Thursday. She was nauseous a lot. She hadn't had her period, which they chalked up to stress. But he didn't question the vomiting or lack of appetite. It hadn't occurred to him what may have been painfully obvious to Clare. He was too wrapped up in his little world to contemplate her symptoms. But now, as he held her shaking, unstable body in his arms, he knew exactly why she had called him over there at six-something in the morning on a Saturday.
"You're pregnant." Eli croaked, rubbing her back with his one hand and wiping her tears with the other. Clare felt her throat close up and her heart pound in her chest. She looked up at him, shocked at his guess and the accuracy of it. How did he know?
She stopped crying and just looked up at her Eli. He didn't look angry or panicked. His features were flat and calm.
Clare cleared her throat and tried to form words. She couldn't. Instead, she nodded at him and started to cry again.
"Oh my God, Clare. You really are." Eli grabbed her and pulled her as close to his body as he could. Her warm breath tickled his neck and her tears wetted his black t-shirt. "We're having a baby…This is… Oh my God."
Clare felt dizzy. The room was spinning and her eyes were blackening. She couldn't get enough air into her. She desperately tried to breath, but just couldn't. "Eli… I'm gonna faint."
"Clare, take a deep breath. Focus on me." Eli eased her onto her back and grabbed her face. "You're having a panic attack. Clare! Look at me."
She looked up at him, the father of her unborn baby. It was all too real for her now. She closed her eyes and let the darkness kidnap her. The sweet, dark serenity greeted her and she was without a care.
This story will be of the drawn-out variety. I tend to write with a lot of detail. I want it to be a like a book, not like a quick synopsis of events. Like I said, there will be probably 30-40 chapters with a lot of drama. If that's what you want, then bear with me here. I love reviews and such, and I love writing, so let me know how you are feeling. Thanks!
Vann
