A/N: Thank you to Rhion for the creative writing advice and whoever created the brilliant Ben Barnes music video of Sexyback on Youtube, otherwise I'd still be wracking my brain trying to get this chapter written out. This is not beta-ed so forgive any mistakes. I have a crazy habit of not picking up on them until after the chapter is posted.
Disclaimer: C.S. Lewis and Disney own everything you recognize. Including Ben. Terrible, I know.
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Caspian's emotions were foreign to him now. He had ridden waves of both good and bad in the last several weeks, that he didn't know what to feel anymore. He had never felt so ashamed as when Susan glared at him in Aslan's How after the White Witch's spell had been broken one last time, before she turned on her heel to storm out of his sight. He felt he had lost his queen and that his infatuation, admiration, and love toward her had been in vain. Now here he stood in the courtyard, among Aslan, Doctor Cornelius, Reepicheep, the Pevensies, and his subjects. Susan had tearfully followed her siblings through the portal in the tangled tree that led to her home, in the land of Spare Oom. He struggled to keep his composure. It wouldn't do any good to let the tears fall at this moment. Tears and rage were best reserved for his private chambers where no one would disturb him. When he had seen Susan earlier with Peter and Aslan, all looking glum when he came to announce that the assembly was gatherered, he wanted more than anything to simply hold her in his arms and comfort her. As he spoke to all those in the crowd, he tried to be strong. He made sure his voice didn't falter. How could he have known that Aslan would take her away? He even took Peter, Edmund and Lucy away, the surrogate family he had come to know such a short time ago.
Caspian wanted to scream. He wanted to retreat somewhere, anywhere, and stew in his misery. He wanted to hold Susan tight and whisper in her ear that it would be alright, that nothing would ever tear them apart. But now he would never see her again. He couldn't compare her loss to that of his parents, both of whom had been taken by one circumstance or another when he was young enough not to understand. Even through the rough patches, the short time he spent with her was the best time of his life. Now it was being ripped away from him. His heart and soul had been snatched out of his body without a care. Yes, his people needed a just king, and Narnia needed to be handed back to its rightful owners, but he was too hurt to move on. He had heard it said somewhere that time heals all wounds but Caspian couldn't believe it would possibly be true. Nothing could ever replace Susan or her siblings. Even stubborn Peter would be deeply missed.
As he silently watched Edmund and Lucy enter the portal last, Caspian didn't miss the lump that grew in his throat and the tear that managed to fall. How would he go on?
Two nights had passed and Caspian still hadn't touched his food that the servant girls brought to his chambers. He had refused to venture anywhere else in the palace. Trumpkin was the only one allowed entrance as of late. No one else dared to enter for fear of his growing rage. Of course, having no more knowledge concerning Daughters of Eve than Caspian himself did, all Trumpkin could do was lend an ear and a shoulder to cry on. He had no more advice than anyone else in the kingdom, not that Caspian wanted it from anyone. He couldn't have his subjects fawning over how troubled he was, although he suspected that they did regardless.
Sitting in the plush velvet chair in his study, he stared at the dinner plate on the table in front of him that was growing cold. He usually relished a tender juicy beef roast with mashed potatoes and carrots. But hunger eluded him. The hunger that he did have could not be sated no matter what he tried. The books in the library were all of Narnian history and legends. He had experienced living breathing legends, only to have them...her...stolen away. The pain was still too new and he didn't want to conjure up any more hurt..
Waking in the middle of the night, he decided to walk the gardens to clear his head. The first time in days that he had ventured outdoors. In the privacy of his chambers, there was no one to comment or complain of his nudity. He had no reason to dress so he didn't bother. But he thought better of it and pulled on loose linen breeches, not bothering with a shirt or even shoes.
While the cool night breeze did attempt to balm him, he couldn't avoid the intoxicating scents that intermingled of lavender and roses. They reminded him of her. He didn't want reminders. He wanted her in the flesh beside him.
"Aslan, why did you take her away?! What was in her world that she couldn't possbily learn or experience here? Don't you care that she's miserable where she is now? Isn't it enough that my own parents were taken from me, now my wife and brothers and sister are gone too? I don't suppose you know that it's written in the stars that her siblings will die in a train wreck that she narrowly escapes herself? And you thought she should be sent back to that?! I will claim her again, whatever it takes! With or without your help. How am I supposed to rule without a queen at my side? I will not marry another except her."
His mind drifted to the night after the battle had been won. The kingdoms of Telmar and Narnia were both finally at peace.
While the palace was filled with mirth, dancing, and feasting in celebration of the defeat over Miraz and his mercenaries, Susan felt the urge to step away from the party and get a breath of fresh air on the balcony. Caspian searched the ballrooms for her, needing to be close to her after all they had been through. He started to ask Edmund if he had seen her but caught a glimpse of her slipping outside. He followed to the balcony where she stood, not touching her, but drinking in the sight of her. Memorizing her features. He had never truly believed in the full capacity pf magic until he had laid eyes on her that first day in the woods. Not even his wildest fantasies could have brought her to life, but there she stood. There were no words he could find to describe what he felt at that initial moment they shared so many weeks ago.
He wanted to taste, to touch every inch of her porcelain skin. He reminded himself that his first time with her, he should be gentle and chivalrous. Other girls, women, were fragile. He had nearly given up hope with them since they were akin to eggshells. But not Susan. He had met his match with her. She might be called the Gentle but she was most definitely strong-willed. He couldn't imagine her ever wanting to be treated like a piece of glass.
He stood in the shadows of the doorway, watching her. She sensed his presence and turned to face him. They didn't need to communicate with words. Their eyes conveyed what needed to be said. She needed to hold him, never let go. Yes, she had suitors in her previous lifetime in Cair Paravel who had caught her eye but none dared compare with this Telmarine...Narnian king. She had nearly lost him to the White WItch who still sought power, and then to Miraz's army.
She closed the distance between them, one arm snaked around his waist, holding him close to her, and with the other, she delicately traced the outline of his lips, his jaw. His stubble scraped against her smooth fingertips.
"Don't ever leave me again, King Caspian" she whispered, staring deep into his hypnotic pools of chocolate.
"As you wish, my Queen." The corners of his mouth twitched into a lusty grin.
Back in England, men, foreign or otherwise, held no interest to her. Yet this Telmarine with his sexy Mediterranean accent made her body do things she was never before aware of. She wanted him now, in the way that a woman wants a man. She sensed that he needed her as well. Her eyes held no hesitation as he leaned in to kiss her. Softly at first to test the waters.
"Come. I have something to share with you" he murmured into her lips. "They won't miss us".
Taking her hand, he led her through the secret passages to the roof of the uppermost turret of the castle. "Only the professor knows of this place, since he brought me here many times as a boy to tell me the secrets about Narnia of Old. Do you trust me?"
If she didn't, she was stubborn enough to stop him but he wanted to hear it from her lips. He still wasn't completely convinced she was real and not just a fantasy that would disappear on a whim.
"Of course, your Majesty". There was no need to whisper in the privacy of the secret passages but they both knew that it added to the forbidden eroticism of the moment they were in.
On the roof, there was a featherbed barely wide enough for two with a velvet coverlet. Candles sat on either side, waiting to be lit. Above them was no ceiling other than a blanket of stars.
Susan straddled his lap, her skirts pushed high up on her thighs. She kissed his lips softly at first and then deeper, with a primal hunger. Her fingers tangled in his shoulder-length chocolate tresses. His hands roamed every inch of her body, caressing her curves. Clothing was such a hindrance at this moment. Impatiently, Caspian grunted as the laces to her corset bodice finally agreed to cooperate with him. He raised his hips as she tugged off his breeches, his shirt long since tossed aside.
"I want to see you, Susan". It was the first time she had ever been with a man, yet she never felt ashamed or awkward with Caspian. She wanted more than anything to spend a lifetime or several with him as her lover, her husband. Bathed in the moonlight, she never looked more breathtaking. As did he.
He rolled over, pinning her on her back as he nudged her legs apart with his knee and thrust deep into her. He held one leg that was wrapped around his waist and tangled his fingers in her hair with his free hand. Their kisses and lovemaking were primal and animalistic, as if they both knew this would be their only time together. Fireworks in celebration of the recent battle victory exploded in the air in unison.
When they were both spent, he made no effort at all to move away from her, still inside her. Their kisses tender and savoring. Maybe she was crazy but she was almost certain there was new life growing in her at that moment. She had heard of such a thing before so it wasn't entirely impossible. How she wished they could stay like this forever, in the arms of the man she loved more than life itself.
Caspian couldn't use Susan's horn to call her up again, could he? She had told him to do so though. Should he suffer those consequences, even though a broken heart didn't fit into the realm of one's darkest need according to most, or find another way? Aslan was determined that his way was right but what if he had made a mistake? Surely there was something that could be done. Caspian vowed to get his queen back in Narnia in his arms if it was the last thing he ever did.
