1X11 Roman Holiday
Texts -
Blair Waldorf: Have I told you how much I disapprove of your friend Vanessa?
Dan Humphrey: Several times using many metaphors. Not changing anything.
Blair Waldorf: Suit yourself.
Between 1x12 (School Lies) and 1x13 (A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate)
Headmistress Queller took a look around the room, "Though Serena did confess to initiating the party, there are still consequences for your reckless decision. Therefore, you will all be held responsible for paying off the property damage…through fundraising."
The students groaned.
"You will form into groups of four and I expect fundraising proposals to be turned into my office by tomorrow."
Since Nate was suspended, it was only natural that Dan, Serena, Blair and Chuck would group together, though Chuck did make the dynamic…a bit tense. They met up at Blair's and sat around her dining table to strategize fundraising ideas. Blair suggested a bake sale, Serena suggested selling some of their clothes and Chuck suggested charging a cover for a party at Victrola. Chuck smirked amused by his own idea and Blair slapped his shoulder.
Dan offered his opinion, "We have to think of something that would be easy to sell and that could appeal to tourists. Something New York."
Chuck offered, "I do know a few call girls who might be willing to help."
Dorota interjected quietly, "I – I can make polish sausages. My great grandmother have recipe from old country."
"Oh! Sausages sound perfect." Serena smiled.
Chuck smiled, "Of course they do."
Blair rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, that might not be a bad idea actually," Dan said.
Serena placed her hand on Dan's and gave him a kiss, "Great idea sweetie."
"Thanks," Dan smiled.
Blair made a disgusted face at their little public display of affection.
Chuck's eyes narrowed with a plan. "I think we should split up when we sell them…to cover more ground," he suggested slyly.
"Dan and I can sell them at the farmers market." Serena smiled as she took Dan's hand.
Blair's eyes widened as she looked over at Chuck furiously.
"I guess that just leaves you and me Waldorf." Chuck smiled coyly.
"Serena…may I speak with you in the kitchen?" Blair asked.
As they went into the kitchen Serena asked, "What's up, B?"
"I can't sell sausages with Chuck!"
Serena giggled.
"It's not funny! Please, I just got back together with Nate, and he's bound to use what happened between us to torture me all day." Blair pleaded, "Can't we be partners?"
"Well Dan and Chuck don't exactly get along either. I mean, Dan can't be in a room with him for more than thirty minutes before threatening to give him a black eye."
"Sounds like a win-win situation to me." Blair smiled.
Serena paused then sighed, "I'll just be partners with Chuck so you and Dan don't have to," she said defeatedly.
"Thank you!" Blair chirped and took hold of Serena's hands affectionately.
.
Dan and Blair sat behind their table at the farmers market while the sausages cooked on the grill.
"This is ridiculous," Blair shrugged.
"Don't worry. The smell of these babies will get people lining up in no time."
5 minutes later.
"Alright, maybe one of us should do some advertising." Dan suggested.
Blair sighed in frustration and took a sausage. She stood in front of the table and held it up and started yelling, "Sausages! Come get your delicious sausages!"
A group of businessmen walked by staring at her curiously.
"Oh God…" Dan rushed over to her and took her sausage, "Ok, maybe you shouldn't be yelling about delicious sausages when you're dressed in your Constance uniform."
Blair scowled at him, "Humphrey, may I remind you that it was your brilliant idea to sell the world's most perverted food."
.
He clicked the link in hopes of seeing his name listed. It would mean the world to him to be able to put that he was a John F. Kennedy essay winner on his college applications. To his dismay, there the winners read:
Peter Nguyen, Washington
Gary Clifford, Texas
Blair Waldorf, New York
He let out a disappointed sigh, and clicked on her name. Seriously? They pick Blair Waldorf out of the thousands of submissions? He figured her essay would be completely pompous and cliché, maybe something about the charities the Waldorf family donate thousands of dollars to. To his surprise though, he read her essay about a vulnerable teenage girl on the brink of womanhood, surrounded by endless amounts of money and resources, whose feelings of loneliness and isolation lead her to idolize her mother. It was about her dream to become a woman like her mother, strong willed, influential, artistic, and passionate – but above all wanted to achieve such things with the courage and a compassion for others that John F. Kennedy had. Traits not often seen by those in the world she grew up in.
The next day at school he put his book into his locker and heard a voice, "Humphrey. Never a pleasure."
"Hey, Blair." He closed his locker shut and walked with her down the hallway. "Congratulations."
"For what?"
"I saw you won the John F. Kennedy essay contest. Your essay, it was amazing. Really."
"Oh." She pursed her lips and opened her locker. "Thanks," she said reluctantly looking down as she put her books away.
"Something wrong?"
"Nothing." She said frustrated and tucked her hair behind her ear.
He stood there quietly.
She sighed and stared into her locker, "The other winners' parents are probably flying in for the awards ceremony. It's in New York, literally two blocks from here and my own mother can't make it." She looked at him her eyes glossy holding back tears. "'As my mother says, 'Italy fashion week doesn't wait for anyone.'"
"Blair, I'm sorry."
"Just forget it." She stormed off upset.
.
"Hey, are you going to Blair's award ceremony tomorrow?" He asked as Serena shifted hangers on the racks of the store. They were out shopping together.
"I wish I could but I can't. I still have volunteer hours to do from the pool party remember?"
"Oh. Right."
.
He doesn't know what compels him to stop by, but he watches from the back door of the crowded ballroom and sees her smile as she receives her plaque for the essay. When they announce her name she stands up and looks around at the audience, like she's in search for someone.
When she takes hold of her plaque, he laughs to himself watching her pose a little too confidently for photos with the mayor who hosted the award ceremony. He thinks maybe he should say hi to congratulate her but then remembers he wouldn't be able to really explain why he was there in the first place. He thinks up all the ways Blair might use his last name in her reaction -
"Humphrey, what are you doing here?"
"Stalk me much, Humphrey?"
"Humphrey, do you like me or something?"
At the repulsive thought that she might even misinterpret him being there as him liking her, he decides to head home instead.
Post 1X14 The Blair Bitch Project
Rufus and Dan were at the loft removing the decorations from Jenny's much-failed birthday. Dan threw away a party hat with pink fur around it into the trash bag he was holding. Dan looked at the cake with Jenny's face on it and let out a laugh, "Dad. Seriously, where did you get the idea for a Jenny cake?"
Rufus sighed, "Well her friend Blair helped me plan everything. She thought it'd be a nice touch."
Dan's eyes widened, "So Blair was behind all of this?" He threw away a piece of pink streamer, "Why am I not surprised?"
Rufus inquired, "Isn't Blair Jenny's friend?"
"Uh, well not exactly," Dan continued ripping off streamers, "I should probably be angry at Blair for doing this but I guess if it weren't for the party we wouldn't have found out about Jenny's new hobby of shoplifting." He laughed slightly in his sarcasm as Rufus let out a frustrated sigh.
Between 1x15 (Desperately Seeking Serena) and 1x16 (All About My Brother)
Blair and Serena were eating lunch at Café Boulud.
Serena was telling Blair, "I am so relieved I haven't heard from Georgie in a week."
"She was always a terrible influence on you," Blair said then took a bite of her food.
Serena's phone rang with a text message:
Dan Humphrey: Promised V and Sarah we'd check out a movie. You should come.
Serena scrunched her eyebrows looking at her phone.
Blair asked, "What's wrong?"
Serena put her phone away, "Nothing, it's just Dan has this new friend Sarah. Do you think I should be concerned?"
Blair smiled, "That Humphrey only relates to women because he probably is one?" She laughed, "Maybe just a little concerned."
"Blair," she said disapprovingly as she laughed.
1x17 Woman on the Verge
"Humphrey stop calling! I'm in the middle of something." He could hear the light noise of the New York traffic on her end.
"I know. I'm sorry. I'm just wondering if Serena's with you. I know she didn't come home last night."
Blair was in a taxi, Serena slumping over her delicate little shoulder.
"No. I don't know where she is."
"Come on Blair, Lily said she's at your place and I'm just worried."
"I haven't seen her. Look, for some reason Serena loves you. I'm sure she'll explain everything when she's ready."
Click.
1x18 Much 'I Do' About Nothing
"Hello?" She answered her phone.
"Blair. It's Dan."
"Oh. You know, Serena and I were looking all over for you last night at your dad's Leaky Hawk concert."
"It's Lincoln Hawk. But yeah, my phone battery went missing."
"Let me guess. Georgina?"
"Yeah. That's actually why I'm calling. Serena came over just now and told me everything and I don't think it's fair that Georgina can just get away with everything she did unscathed."
"Humphrey, I have to say I'm impressed! Chuck was helping me devise a plan earlier but he's unavailable now so I could use some assistance. Can you come over?"
"Yeah, alright. See you soon."
.
The elevator door rang.
"There you are."
"Hey, yeah thanks for helping me with this."
"Don't thank me yet, Georgina might be the only person I know crazier than me. First let's discuss plot points."
She took a seat at her dinning room table and Dan sat in the chair next to her.
Dan took a breath, "Well, first Georgina befriended me and Vanessa and said her name was Sarah. And last night she told me that she changed her name because she had a crazy ex boyfriend and…she had been falling for me since we met."
Blair scoffed. "I'm sorry. Continue."
"Uh, so Georgina and I hung out and…she…fell asleep at my place last night and Serena came over this morning and pretty much almost attacked Georgina when she was leaving and told her she was going to tell me everything."
"I can't believe you let that psychopath sleep in your home."
"Which is why we have to make sure she doesn't do anything else."
They sit in silence and think.
Blair started, "As someone more experienced in manipulation and scheming, I say we have to think in terms of Georgina's motives."
"Which are…"
"To ruin Serena obviously. You have to play along as a pawn in her game so we can get her where we want her. You'll need to act like you're actually interested in her."
"Heh, uh, okay. I'll call her and tell her I want to see her. But then how would we stop her? I mean it's not like she did something we can go to the police about."
Blair smiled sinisterly, "That gives me an idea for something much worse…I'll take care of that. You just call Georgina." She sighed happily.
"You are weirdly excited about this." He laughed lightly.
"Just call her!"
As he pressed the call button Blair scooted her chair closer to Dan so she could hear.
.
Texts -
Blair Waldorf: Mission accomplished :)
Dan Humphrey: Thanks again. See you at the wedding.
.
Dan took a h'ordeuvre from the waiter during the cocktail hour before the reception.
"What's going on with you and Serena? She looked upset up there." Blair asked.
Dan sighed. "We need to talk about what happened but she's…avoiding me. What's going on with you and Chuck? I swear he was making googly eyes at you."
"Chuck and I are nothing! Less than nothing!" She burst out loudly and stormed off in denial.
