Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. But, if I did, I'd rule the world! AHAHAHHAHA!!!!! Um...never mind. Enjoy.

Scene: Former ace-repoter Harriet Chin has been sent to a local mental institution because of a mental breakdown she suffered while interviewing characters from Artemis Fowl, Harry Potter, and Lord of th Rings. Now, all her storybook friends want to visit her. This'll be fun.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione walk into Harriet's room.

Harry: Hello, Harriet.

Harriet: Jumps up and starts screaming AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! NURSE! NUUUUUURSE!!!!!!!

Hermione: Grabs Harriet's arm Harriet! It's all right, we're not here to harm you.

Harriet stares at them suspiciously

Harry: It's true. We just wanted to apologize for...before. You see-

Merry and Pippin run in, interrupting

Merry: Hiya Harry! Hiya Hairy! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! He and Pippin start laughing.

Gandalf: Walks in, cigar in hand and followed by Foaly, and sets a case of beer on the table Brought you a present, Weasly.

Ron: Staring at the beer I know I shouldn't...but it's just too good! MINE! Jumps on the beer and breaks the table

Pippin: Gained a little weight there, ay Ronny? HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!! Do I need to say it?

Legolas and Aragorn walk in, dragging Malfoy.

Legolas: This yours?

Malfoy: CAFFEINE!!! SUGARSUGARSUGARSUGARSUGAR!!!!!!

Legolas: Found him out by the vending machines.

Hermione sidles up next to him.

Hermione: Hi, Legolas. Starts giggling

Legolas: Obviously uncomfortable Uhh...hi?

Gimli, Artemis, Holly, Root, and Frodo come in.

Gimli: Looking at Harriet Yay! It's the trid!

Harriet: Curls up into the fetal position Think happy thoughts! Think happy thoughts!

Pippin: Hey, Hairy! That's Harry's job! HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!

Harry: No it's not!

Merry: From right behind Harry Sauron!

Harry: AAAHHHHH!!! Joins Harriet on the bed in the fetal position, muttering about conspiracies and evil plots.

Artemis: Soon my plan will be complete! I will rule! RULE!! MWA-HAHAHAA!!!

Aragorn and Holly, meanwhile, notice several paper flowers sitting in a vase.

Holly: Can I shoot them?

Everyone else: No!

Aragorn: Can I burn them? Flicks his lighter open

Everyone else: No!

Frodo: Jack and Jill went up the hill.

Root: WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT, YOU NUMB-SKULLED SONOVA-

Frodo: Seeing Gollum walking outside the room in the hallway AAAAAAAHHHH!!!

Harry: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Harriet: AAAAAHHHHHH!

All three: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Gollum: What's wrong?

Frodo: You're here...but you're dead.

Gollum: Actually, there's a funny story about- hey, how'd you get past security?

Aragorn grabs Gollum, knocks him out, and stuffs him in a closet

Holly: Can I shoot him?

Aragorn: Can I burn him?

Everyone else: NO!

Aragorn: Pouting Aw, but I got the gasoline! Holds up a can of gas

Root: HOW THE HECK DID YOU GET THAT IN HERE?!!

Aragorn: Uhhh... Points at Harry He did it!

Harry: AAAHHH!!

Artemis: The fools! The world will be mine, and they don't even suspect anything! Mwa-hahaha!!!

Legolas: AAAAHHHH!!! HELP!

Hermione has latched herself onto him, her arms squeezing his chest.

Legolas: Need...air!

Gandalf tries to pry Hermione off with his staff, but it doesn't work.

Gandalf: Hey, I tried. Takes a puff of his cigar.

Hermione: Dragging Legolas out of the room Come with me, my love!

Legolas: NOOOOOOO!!!!!! Gets pulled out of the room, kicking and screaming.

Pippin: Let's have a moment of silence in memory of our dear friend.

Everyone's quiet for a second.

Merry: Long enough! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!

Legolas comes crawling back in, shirt torn.

Legolas: I made it! I'm free!

Hermione: Outside the room Oh, Legolas?

Legolas: Hide me! Dives under the bed.

Hermione: Walking into the room Where are you, my love?

Gimli: He's under the bed.

Legolas: Voice slightly muffled No, I'm not!

Hermione grabs Legolas by the ankles and drags him out into the hallway.

Legolas: Why me?

Gimli: 'Cause you got sex appeal! HAHAAHAHA!

He, Merry, and Pippin point and laugh mockingly.

Ron and Malfoy start walking out.

Harriet: Where are you going?

Ron: Malfoy's headed to the vending machines-

Malfoy: MOUNTAIN DEW!!!!!

Ron: And I'm going to the bar.

Harriet: There's no bar here!

Ron: Grinning That's what you think. He and Malfoy walk out, leaving a very disturbed Harriet.

Harriet: What's that supposed to mean?

Frodo: The chicken came before the egg.

Holly: I'll stop them! Runs out into the hallway. Soon after, sounds of shooting and swearing come from the hallway.

Legolas: Dragging himself in Almost...there!

Hermione: Come back! Wrenches him back in the hall.

Legolas: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Harriet: God, take me now!

Holly: Coming back in I'm not God, but I'd be happy to oblige! One shot, quick and painless!

Aragorn: And I can burn your corpse and put it in a pretty jar!

Harriet: NURSE! NUUURSE!!

Gandalf: That won't do you any good. We bribed her to stay away today. Everyone but Harriet starts laughing evilly.

Artemis: Hey, that's my job!

Harriet: AAAHHHHH!! Sits up in bed NURSE!

A nurse comes running in.

Nurse: What now, Chin?

Harriet: Noticing all the characters are gone Where are they?!

Nurse: Who? No one's been in here, Chin.

Harriet: Grabbing the nurse by the throat I know they were here! Where are they?

Nurse: I think...it's time for...your medication.

Harriet: They were here! I'll get them! I...swear I'll...get...Falls into a nice, drug-induced sleep.

Fin

Well, what do you think? Oh yeah, thanks to everyone who reviewed. I really, really appreciate it. Now, review this one. I need some ideas for my possible next chapter. Here's a quick summary: Harriet escapes from the loony bin and goes after the characters. I need some ideas for murder attempts. Nothing too gross, and something the characters can escape without even knowing they're being targeted. Anyway, catch ya later. Wow, I actually sounded sane!