A/N: I don't think I can fully express my shock at Hedone Ranch winning two 2014 Fandom Choice Awards; Best Non-Canon and Best Non-Traditional. Although I must admit Hedone Ranch is absolutely both of those things! I am truly stunned at the love all of you have shown my little old fic that hasn't been updated in a year and a half... I see new hits all the time, and I appreciate every single one.

As a thank you from me, I dug out a Demetri outtake I promised to jadsmama and that I never posted anywhere. I think the reason I didn't post it any earlier was that I was disappointed that Demetri didn't want to talk dirty to ME...he was more worried about what Carlisle was up to!

I'm almost positive this was unbeta'd - let's just go with that, shall we?

Let's talk more at the bottom, okay?

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Opening Gambit Declined


Demetri smiled as his latest gustatory creation made its way to the guest staying in the mountainside section. She'd visited the ranch before, and his notes indicated she liked steak, vegetables, and a nice red wine immediately after an hours-long sex-heavy encounter, like she'd just had with Liam. Even though it was between lunch and dinner, Demetri took pride in creating a masterpiece to be sent to her room.

He loved being executive chef for such an exclusive clientele. Women who come to the ranch to experience pleasure of a sexual nature get the added physical delight of his cooking. Demetri could honestly say part of him - his creations, his soul – had been inside every woman who'd been at the ranch since he started here eight years ago.

Throwing his pan in the sink and cleaning up his mise-en-place, Demetri smiled. He was hoping to have a more intimate connection to one of the female guests soon – after all, other than for a game of chess, it was the only reason Carlisle would have asked him to drop by his office - to discuss a potential encounter. It'd been quite a few days since he'd touched or been touched. Too long, in his opinion. He wasn't like Felix, waiting for a woman willing to be worshipped. In his mind, all encounters were valuable. After all, he was a true hedonist – he wanted pleasure, was able to get it from a variety of sources: from food, from wine, from nature, from women. Why deny himself? It was nearly inhuman!

After informing his sous-chef of his intent to be back for dinner service, Demetri washed his hands, removed his chef's whites, and made his way to Carlisle's office.


"Come in," Demetri heard after knocking on Carlisle's office door. Entering this room always took him back to the first time – a bit too eager, a lot too full of himself – and made him grateful for the intervening years. "Demetri, come have a seat. I'm not keeping you from dinner prep, am I?

"Nothing that Seth can't handle. He learned a lot at that school you sent him to."

"Good, good. I was hoping you wouldn't feel…crowded."

"He knows when to shut up and do the work and when I'm in the mood to handle a suggestion – I couldn't ask for more than that out of a sous-chef, honestly. Maybe all those psych classes really are good for something other than seducing women, after all."

Carlisle chuckled. They'd had this discussion before, neither one willing to concede their point. "Speaking of women, my friend, are you interested in another encounter?"

"I'm always interested. What are the details?"

Carlisle came around the desk, handing over a card with a handwritten number on it. Demetri wondered not for the first time if Carlisle owned stock in the company that produced it, or if quality cardstock was simply a minor tactile fetish for his friend. "Details are attached to this file number. Emmett should be here to make his report soon."

A heavy-handed knock sounded on the office door.

"Speak of the devil," Demetri murmured, as Carlisle called out in welcome.

Emmett strode in like a parade inflatable; larger than necessary, unconcerned for anything in its path, and always smiling. He banged into the open chair in front of Carlisle's desk before slumping into it. "How it hangin', D?"

Demetri tried, unsuccessfully, to hide his irritation at Emmett's perpetual casualness. "Emmett," he replied with a nod. "I'm doing well, thank you for asking."

"I hope you don't mind that I invited Demetri to hear your report, Em. I need his decision quickly, so I thought it would be best to hear your impressions firsthand."

"No problem, bossman. It's not like I'm shy."

"I'm well aware, Em. Why don't you start with an overview of this afternoon?" Carlisle prompted.

Emmett grinned. "She wanted to watch me jack off, so I did. Then she said she wanted to watch us having sex – where we were connected. Had to work that out since the first way we were positioned didn't work. But I figured it out. She got to see it all. I let her clean up in the shower, then I took her back to her room. End of encounter."

Carlisle sat at his desk, fingers steepled, index fingers lightly grazing his lips. "Did you discover anything about her that was not listed in previous encounter reports?"

Leaning forward, Emmett nodded. "She hadn't had sex for two years – until today," he intoned seriously.

Demetri watched as Carlisle lowered his hands to the desk and closed his eyes. He was surprised at the lack of an immediate follow-up question from their boss.

Emmett, not sensing anything unusual, leaned back in the chair and continued, "She was as tight as a drum. Major thanks, Big C, it's been a while since I've experienced that."

Carlisle picked up his expensive pen and flicked the cap on and off a few times, his brow lowered if not quite furrowed. Carlisle's famous openness seemed as if it was being tested by this particular report, but damned if Demetri could figure out why.

"Oh, and she loves talking. When I said stuff she got much more involved and excited."

At Carlisle's continued silence, Demetri asked, "Dirty talking?"

"Not necessarily. Anything you say about sex, or about her, or about her and sex, gets her humming." Emmett replied. "And also makes her turn bright red – it's like she's never talked about it before. She also really liked watching. I think it surprised her. When she got overwhelmed she just about pulled my hair out, though."

Clearing his throat, Carlisle asked, "What other reactions did you notice?"

"She likes to feel connected – wants to be touching if she can. She may have a visual component to her sexuality – she was watching everything I was doing like a hawk, either with her own eyes or in the mirror." Smiling, Emmett noted, "She's a moaner for the most part – a low tone, like it's coming from deep inside her. When she comes, though, she's a screamer."

Carlisle nearly broke his fancy pen. Demetri pretended not to notice.

After a few silent seconds that seemed longer, Carlisle asked, "Anything else to add to the report?"

Emmett thought for a second, and then shook his head. "Nope. That about does it."

"Okay, Emmett," Carlisle said, standing. "I'll type up your report for you and get it entered into the client database this evening. Thanks for coming to make your report."

Emmett followed Carlisle and lifted himself out of his chair. "Thanks, Big C, you know the thought of typing gives me hives. If you ever put together a texting option, I'd be all over that, though."

Walking around the desk, Carlisle clapped the large man on the shoulder and gave a small smile as he showed him to the door. "I don't mind things this way – then I don't have to decipher text-speak. That would give me hives!"

Emmett laughed as he made his way out the door. "Thanks again, boss. I appreciated the opportunity."

"I'll be in touch soon with your next assignment, Emmett. Thanks for being such an asset to the ranch."

Emmett gave a quick nod and headed off. Carlisle turned to Demetri.

"The two previous encounters and a decision tree are on the intranet. I think I'll be suggesting option C tomorrow morning. Please let me know your decision as soon after dinner service as you can."

Ready to leave, Demetri stood. "Of course, Carlisle. As soon as I read your plan, I'll let you know."


"Bishop to King's knight two, please."

Demetri stared at the board, having to make the conversion from the modern algebraic chess notation to the out-of-favor descriptive notation in his head before he moved his opponent's piece. Mouth twisted, he asked, "Tell me again why you won't use modern notation?"

With his hands clenched tightly around the top of his walking cane, Marcus smirked. "I refuse. It's…inelegant."

"It's more complicated than it needs to be," Demetri countered, moving his piece and then recording the moves on the score sheet.

"Aren't we all? Knight to King's bishop three, please."

As Demetri sat staring at the board, Marcus moved back in his chair. "You seem distracted, my friend. Is something wrong?"

"Something's going on with Carlisle." Demetri announced.

"Why do you say so?"

"He's not acting like himself."

"Explain your meaning."

"You know how he writes his guest interaction forms, yes? Very business-like. Makes sex sound like a job…a damn fine job, but still…dry."

"Yes, after nearly 20 years of working together I dare say I know his style of writing more than you do."

"Well, then you should read his report from Monday."

"It's unusual, then?"

"It's damn near unique!" Demetri declared.

Marcus waited silently for Demetri to continue.

"It's not as if he wrote it to transmit information to another ranch hand, it's as if he wrote it to remember every single detail he could about the woman and her every reaction."

"So he was being thorough. I don't see the problem."

Trying to find the proper description left Demetri scrambling. "…Like he was reliving the encounter and recording it for posterity. As if he didn't have video of the entire encounter."

Marcus nodded his understanding, if not agreement. "Video, with everything it sees, still misses…nuance. Her skin pebbling in excitement; the gentle increase in pressure as she grips your back; how she caresses you from inside… all missed."

"And none of those things ever recorded by Carlisle before. Until Monday."

"Have you noticed anything else unusual?"

"You mean other than watching him nearly gouge Emmett's eyes out when he described her as a – how did he put it? – oh yes, "when she comes she's a screamer".

"Violence, from Carlisle, over a woman? I can't even imagine it."

"And I haven't even mentioned the twelve page decision tree he's made up. If she wants this, then that. If she wants that, then this or this other thing. If she wants neither of these things, offer her plan x."

"How long is she staying?"

"Just a week."

With a smirk, Marcus said, "That seems…excessive, even for Carlisle."

"That's why I'm saying it's odd," Demetri emphasized.

"If you've seen her chart, you're on the potential encounter list."

Nodding, Demetri told him, "I'm doing a potentially public scene tomorrow in her breakfast room. Manual only. Focus on voyeurism."

"Potentially public?"

"Who is going to enter her breakfast room uninvited? Absolutely no one is. Carlisle says he's setting her up for a public scene, but has designed it so that no one will see her. It's ridiculous!"

"What time is this supposed to happen?"

"He's going to page me in the kitchen when he's ready to hand her off."

Looking into the fire, Marcus evaluated his options. Coming to a quick decision, he stated, "Why don't you leave the file information with me. I'll take a look at it tonight, and if I see something I feel is highly unusual, I'll visit Carlisle in the morning."

Demetri sat back and dropped his shoulders with a deep sigh. "I appreciate that, Marcus. It felt off, and I couldn't decide the best way to handle it."

"Be prepared to have the encounter as planned tomorrow morning. Perhaps I should join you in the kitchen after I see Carlisle? I think I need to try one of your freshly made…what will you be making tomorrow morning?"

"Isn't my ham and spinach quiche your favorite?" Demetri asked.

Eyebrows raised, he answered, "It is."

"Then I think that's what I'll be making tomorrow morning."

"Then I shall definitely join you."


Marcus used his walking cane to knock on the door of Carlisle's study.

"Come in?" Carlisle called out, standing to meet the unexpected early morning visitor. As the door opened, he called out, "Marcus!" Walking over to his friend of nearly fifteen years, he offered a pat on the shoulder and directed him to the nearby wing chair. "What brings you to my office so early this morning?"

Taking time to force his uncooperative hands to unbutton his suit jacket as he arranged himself on the seat, Marcus sat back and turned his calculating gaze to the man in front of him. "I'm curious about your decision-making in regards to your current guest."

Carlisle's back stiffened. "Bella? Why would you even be looking at that file?"

Marcus coolly replied, "I'm still a partner here, Carlisle. I'm concerned about the quality of our product."

"And you feel that I've mishandled Bella?" Carlisle stated.

"I feel your twelve pages of decision trees are a mess – poor decision-making, poor experience building, poor evaluation of the subject."

"And just how do you feel I've misread the subject?" Carlisle scoffed.

"You've missed her innate need to assist, to help, to render aid, to take care of others if it's at all in her power. You've written all about it in her intake forms and interview with her best friend – quite an unusual circumstance that brought her here, a visit paid for by our little Alice – but none of your plans reflect an awareness of using that gift to expand her sexual horizons."

"I have her scheduled with Felix…"

"…at the end of the week! It's too late then; you would open her to all the possibilities that self-awareness brings, and then send her on her way with no good way to explore them. Hell, half of your plans include several role-playing encounters. I'm quite familiar with Alice. That's more her style – to play instead of digging deeper, discovering."

"It's a perfectly valid choice. She's inexperienced. I was planning on using the role-playing to boost her…"

"…bullshit. It's you hobbling her exploration (growth?). Her very first card says she wants to know just how much her sexuality is a part of her, how much of it is inside her. Yet you would delay Felix, not even introduce her to Aro? For the life of me, I can't figure out why you'd deny her what she's so clearly asking for."

"I scheduled her with Demetri this morning…"

"Ah, yes, the voyeurism experience with no one watching. I've made arrangements to fix that, by the way."

Carlisle blanched. "Fix it how? It didn't need to be fixed."

Ignoring him, Marcus continued. "The encounter she should have after someone sees her surface beauty is for someone to acknowledge her soul. Felix should be next."

"Felix is too intense. She's not ready for that kind of emotional layering."

"According to her profile, she's a strong, independent young woman. Has she brought up some feeling of protectiveness in you? If you look at the overall picture of what she could explore while she's here, you'll agree that Felix is the correct next step."

Not agreeing or disagreeing, Carlisle asked, "Do you have any other recommendations to make?"

Tapping his cane on the floor, Marcus took in the closed off body language Carlisle was exhibiting and analyzed his remaining arguments for the most important suggestion he had left. "Yes. You should use Bella's willingness to help others to work on Aro's new intern…Alex, isn't it?"

"Alec," Carlisle corrected.

"Yes, Alec. Let her build her confidence with him. Have her re-create a new experience with him, to teach him what she's learned. Let her think it would be doing you a service, helping you 'season' him, as Jasper would say."

"Damn food analogy. I hate it. It's so…inelegant."

Smirking at his friend's complaint, so similar to his own, Marcus replied, "It's effective. Don't throw away what works."

Wearily, Carlisle asked, "Anything else, old friend?"

Slowly rising from the chair, Marcus replied, "No, Carlisle. I can imagine that it's difficult to deal with someone this unused to gamesmanship, but we shouldn't let the woman's inexperience affect what we offer her." Moving toward the door, Marcus called out over his shoulder, "I'd be very interested in what Esme could teach her, to be honest. Ah, to be a fly on the wall there! Think of what a man could learn!"

"I'll offer it to her as a option, Marcus. But you'd have to negotiate with Esme for any video recordings."

"That wouldn't be a problem. Esme adores me."

Huffing his agreement, Carlisle saw Marcus the rest of the way out of the room, then returned to his desk.

He was going to have to rethink everything.

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Ending A/N:

There are 3 Hedone Ranch futuretake ideas running around in my brain. Trying to decide which one to commit to and finish. I could use some input, so review and tell me which one you would like to see made into a chapter!

1. Carlisle has the ranch listed as a members-only health and wellness spa for tax purposes - and is getting audited. Also has woman listed as head of business. Needs Bella to "roleplay" she's the boss.

2. Carlisle providing "enrichment" lecture for his 400 level Human Sexuality class - Aro and a guest to demonstrate Aro's skill set (review his chapter if you forgot). Aro's guest falls sick. Will Bella fill in? Will Carlisle be jealous?

3. Carlisle infiltrates Social Media. Wants to be a cross between Dr. Ruth and James Deen. Wants Bella to join him online as he demonstrates (quite vividly - think Deen with more talking) his knowledge.

Leave me a review and let me know if one of these futuretakes speaks to you, okay? And THANKS AGAIN for the votes in the Fandom Choice Awards!

JenJadeEyes