The days that followed were tense for the council. They were all harboring a secret that they weren't allowed to tell anyone. Raven worked around the clock with Kyle trying to find more information about the nuclear facilities and so far they figured out where one was, except it was where the continent of Europe once was so that wasn't going to help them, as they were in what used to be North America.

"It's kind of inspiring to see everyone just spring into action." Abby said. Her and Clarke were in the clinic re-stocking shelves of bandages and gauze. "No one even thought about giving up, there was no hesitation to try and fight this."

"That's something about the human spirit, I guess. We are always going to fight for our right to live, no matter what… no matter the cost."

Abby looked down at the packages in her hands before speaking, "I'm glad you're back, Clarke. I can't imagine how difficult it is for you, after everything that has happened, after everything you had to do. Just know I'm here if you want to talk, about anything."

Clarke looked up at her mom. The guilt she felt about leaving her rushed into her chest so fast it almost took her breath away, but Abby understood. She knew Clarke, and why she had to do it, so that consoled Clarke slightly. "Thanks, mom. And I'm sorry I left before. I never wanted to hurt you."

"It's okay, sweetheart. I know why you had to go. I may have done the same thing myself if I were you." Abby closed the gap between her and Clarke and hugged her tightly, and for once Clarke let herself be embraced and vulnerable.

Later that night, Clarke met Bellamy again and headed to the drop ship, as they had done every night for the past five days; this time they brought some of Monty's hooch and some snacks from the previously locked kitchen.

"We are gonna be in so much trouble." Bellamy exclaimed, already slightly buzzed on their walk to the drop ship.

Clarke grabbed the bottle from him and took a swig, "No, we're not. We saved everyone, for now anyway. No one can get mad at us anymore."

"Okay, you have a point." Bellamy chuckled as they entered the fence surrounding the drop ship.

Clarke opened up the blanket she brought and sat, or more like fell, onto it.

"Maybe no more hooch for you?" Bellamy asked taking a seat next to her.

"No, give me that! I've killed people. I need it. " Clarke took another long swig and laid back to look at the stars.

"So I heard from Murphy that you and Lexa were uh, more than just co-ambassadors."

Clarke turned her head slightly to see Bellamy's eye level equal to hers.

"Yeah, something like that. She was different… refreshing, like I hadn't had water for weeks and she was a river."

"I'm sorry." Bellamy squeezed Clarke's hand, showing her he meant it.

"Me too. I should have never gotten close to anyone." Tears were falling down the side of her face now, as if the universe was finally giving her permission to cry.

"I know that hearing this wont make you feel any better right now, but one day, years from now, if we make it that far, you'll realize that none of this your fault and you did your best for the people you love."

Clarke sat up wiping her tears even though they kept coming. "When did you get so wise?"

"What are you talking about? I've always been this way." Bellamy laughed.

Clarke laid her head on his chest and continued to sob quietly, knowing for once, she was okay.