I looked up slowly.
There I was, back in my bedroom. Mirrored butterflies stickers reflected sunlight and the glossy posters gleamed. Sticky notes left by friends clung to the walls and I was surprised that they had stayed there as long as they did. Streamers from my birthday a few months ago were draped over my bookshelf and onto an uncompleted puzzle that had sat untouched for at least a year. I was beginning to wonder why I could see the clothes that I hadn't bothered to put away so clearly when I noticed that I had left my lamp on all night. I reached over and turned it off then reached down to pick up and close the book I must have dropped when I feel asleep reading.
I paused and stared at the cover for a moment. It was a picture of a red tree against an orange sky. An orange sky. Why did that seem familiar? I shrugged and threw it on a pile of other books. I looked at the blue sky outside my window, the same North Carolina sun rising over the mountains in the distance. I could still see the snow from the storm that had passed a few weeks ago shining on the ridges. The bright light began to hurt my eyes so I ducked back inside my room behind the curtain.
Yawning, I walked down the hall to the bathroom. I picked up a brush and began to tackle the brown, frizzy mess that was my hair. It took a while, but I eventually got the fluff under control. I shuffled back to my room.
I got dressed and went downstairs. It was a Monday,so I wasn't in a big hurry to get moving. Exams were next week and I hadn't even begun to study. It wasn't like I didn't try but the words just seemed to turn into squiggles that I couldn't even begin to concentrate on. I probably should have been more worried, but I always got good grades, even in the classes I didn't understand like math.
I unscrewed the lid to the orange juice and found myself staring at the carton. Orange. I felt that it should remind me of something, but I couldn't quite remember what. I poured myself a glass and winced as my nine-year-old sister raced down the stairs. She tripped on the last step and fell, nearly slamming her head against an end table.
"I'm ok!" she squealed as she jumped up.
"Way to go Macy," I said trying not to laugh as she skipped into the kitchen.
"You have an orange juice mustache." She reached up and wiped my face with a napkin she grabbed off of the table.
"Was that used?" I asked while disgustedly wiping my face with a clean paper towel.
"I'm not really sure," she giggled.
"Ew," I muttered. Then I grabbed a cookie and began eating it.
"Is that your breakfast?"
"Yep."
"Why?"
"'Cause I can."
She began eating a bowl of cereal when Mom came downstairs holding my baby brother Davie on her hip. "Is that a cookie?" she asked.
I shoved the rest of it into my mouth and grinned. "No," I said with crumbs falling out of my mouth. She rolled her eyes and began fixing breakfast for Davie. I made my lunch and drank a glass of water. I was sitting at the table reading when I glanced over at the clock. "We need to leave in five minutes."
"We still need to wait for your sister."
"Anna! Hurry up!" I yelled.
"I'm coming!" she yelled back from the top of the stairs. Anna ran down the stairs while pulling her hair back in a ponytail. "Sorry; drying my hair took longer than I thought it would." She snatched a banana off counter, peeled it, and began quickly shoving it in her mouth. "Let's go," she managed to say while swallowing. I was simply amazed that we could understand what she said. My book bag was over my shoulder and I was out the door before Macy and Anna had finished putting on their shoes.
The ride to three different schools was lots of fun. The line at the elementary school was particularly backed up and fun. Lots of mini-van moms kissing their children goodbye and waiting in the carpool lane to make sure their child made the ten feet from the car to the door safely. Then the middle school line went quickly, but I found it creepy when the girls stopped talking and watched our van. Twenty-two minutes later, my mom and I pulled in front of my high school.
"Did you finish your homework?" my mom asked as I got out of the car.
"Nope," I replied.
"And why not?" she demanded. "You were watching TV last night when you could have been working on homework."
"It was math; I didn't understand it," I said. I never understand the math homework, I thought. I grabbed my bags and jacket quickly.
"We'll discuss this when you get home," she said as I shut the door. I waved goodbye the same as I did every day as she drove off. I went inside, saying hello to the principle as I went by.
The bell rang and I went straight to my locker.
"Toni!" yelled my friend from down the hall.
"Reina!" I yelled back. I finished putting my book in my locker and set my book bag down to straighten the books that were left. She ran down the hallway laughing.
"I am always amazed at how clean your locker is."
I glanced at the books, notebooks, and binders all straight and facing the same direction.
"I'm always amazed that your locker is a mess," I said.
"You ready for the chemistry test?" she asked.
"Well, if you count looking over my notes once, then yes."
"I'm not!" she said cheerily.
"I didn't do my math homework though."
"I didn't either!"
"Should we be proud of this?"
"Probably not," she giggled.
The second bell rang and I said "We'd better go to class." I grabbed my bag and groaned as a book fell out. I picked it up hurriedly and called after Reina.
But as it turned out, I didn't need to. She had stopped by the corner and was watching someone. "Jay again?"
She jumped and glared at me. "So," she muttered and turned back around.
I grabbed her arm and began dragging her down the hallway. "You're going to have to talk to him eventually." Reina had liked Jay since eighth grade, and now, two years later, I still wasn't sure whether or not she had said more than a few sentences to him. She would continually glance at him all through lunch and try to sit at least a row over from him during classes.
"I'll talk to him," she said then quietly added, "maybe."
I laughed and shook my head. I pulled her into first period. The day passed uneventfully. Tests were passed back in math class and I cringed at the B-. My mother was not going to be pleased. History was easy and I got groans of annoyance from the class when I began having a conversation with the teacher. Rehearsal for the school musical was fun and I drank half of Reina's water bottle after we were done dancing.
We were all waiting for our parents outside when it began to start.
"Hey Toni," Jeremy said. "What's up with your shadow?"
I turned around in time to see a shape sink back into my shadow, but I couldn't tell what it was. I shrugged and asked "So what did you get on the math test?"
"Do I have to answer that?" he laughed.
"Well I failed!" Alice giggled. "I don't understand what we are doing at all. What's the point of Pythagorean identities anyway? Why can't you just measure the freaking lamppost?"
We all laughed then Hannah randomly began making bird noises.
"What are you doing?" Reina asked looking up from the history homework she was doing.
"There's a bird right there," she said pointing. A few feet away sat a small blackbird, its feathers glinting blue in the sunlight.
"Pretty," I said. I turned around on the bench to get a better look. I swore that it looked at me before it fluttered its wings and flew into a tree across the road. It continued to stare at me. I moved to the right then to the left then to another bench, its gaze following wherever I went. "Now that's just creepy," I muttered.
"Did you say something?"
"What?" I said looking away from the bird. "No, nothing. Never mind."
My mom pulled up and rolled down the window. "Toni! Come on! We're late for your sister's dentist appointment!"
"Coming!" I called as a slung by bag over my shoulder. "See you tomorrow Reina!"
"See ya!"
"BYE!" Hannah half-screamed half-laughed as I got in the mini-van.
Not much else happened for the rest of the day. Anna hated the dentist, Macy didn't want to do her homework, and I spent most of my afternoon hiding in my room listening to the radio. After dinner, I went back to my room and picked up a book. It was a paperback with a glossy red cover with raised letters. It was thick and its spine had many creased. Some of the corners were worn and folded and some of the pages were ripped and had stains or notes but I didn't consider it beat up. I called it well loved. It was nice to lean back and relax with an old favorite. Before I knew it, I had drifted to sleep.
I was back in the tan field, but this time I was standing near the edge of a cliff. The rocks below me were a gray white and the water sloshed against the bottom of the steep slope.
The small blackbird was still watching me. Its small beak looked sharp and pointed and its eyes had a steely glint. I stepped toward the edge to get a better look of the view below and the bird flew up in the air. It fluttered and screeched and flew near my head. I threw my hands up to protect my face, but the bird wasn't pecking or scratching at me. It just kept flapping in front of my face, twittering away. I swatted at it and took another step forward.
It protested louder and began jabbing at my hands. I was annoyed and turned around to walk away just to get it to leave me alone. I knew that I wanted to see over the edge, but the bird wouldn't let me. I would just have to wait and come back later.
Silence fell quickly. I could no longer hear the bird or, when I thought about it, the water crashing against the rocks. I looked behind me; the bird was gone. And so was the cliff.
