I blinked, my eyes opening to bright sunlight as I took in my surroundings. White, white, and more white. Ah, a hospital. Lovely. Just where I wanted to be after the incident that had occurred. I looked around, my eyes sweeping over the very tiny room in a matter of seconds in dull boringness. This was a hospital alright, drab curtains, droopy flowers, and enough medical crap to make any single person confused for days. Obviously someone had found me on the street with blood on my hands and thought I was hurt. The only question now is, how to escape? I mean, obviously the doctor will want to ask me millions of questions. And his body would be found eventually. Which meant that they'd find out eventually that I was the one that had shot him. So the only logical way to avoid that would be to escape. I swiftly got out of bed, looking down at the atrocious gown I was wearing with a grimace. Anyone I ran into would clearly know I was trying to escape a hospital. I'd have to stick to back alley's. Bummer, I really wanted to try that new restaurant down the street! I picked up my glasses off the counter and wiped them across my gown, placing them delicately on top of my nose. I then looked down at the tiny piece of metal in my arm that was the only thing between me and freedom. This was it. Just pull and run. All I had to do was yank it and get my butt outta here. I placed my hand on the tip of the cool metal, feeling it cool my warm hands. I pulled up the tiniest bit, and like an internal alarm had gone off two nurses and a doctor rushed into the room, quickly pulling me back to the bed as I pushed and pulled trying to get away. I just wanted to leave, was that so fucking hard!

"Miss. Please. You're going to hurt yourself, please stay still." One of the nurses to my left said to me, a slight tone of begging in her voice. Hurt myself? How the hell would I hurt myself? I was fine except for the slightly cut hand, but that was fixable with a band aid. What was she talking about?

"I'm not going to frigging hurt myself! There's nothing wrong with me!" I said in annoyance, leaning back on the bed and crossing my arms. Geez, if they took a cut this seriously, I wanted to know how they acted around real problems like car accident patients and cancer patients … basically, patients that were so messed up and close to death, unlike me.

"You have a deep incision on your waist that needed stitching. A slight concussion, two broken ribs, one cracked rib, as well as several cuts up and down your body." The Doctor told me calmly, most likely expecting me to run away again.

"Wait a minute. I have that much wrong with me?" I stuttered out, unsure of what else to say. I couldn't have gotten that hurt from a simple little fall, could I? That was impossible. Wasn't it? I mean … it could have been from him. But I never felt anything. I never felt the pain, or saw anything wrong with me. I had been fine.

"How d-did I get here?" I stuttered out, my head spinning circles as I tried to figure out what had happened. I mean obviously someone had seen me … but at night? The chances of that were slim to none. The chances of me dying were even greater than the chance of me being found on the sidewalk at night in the middle of nowhere. I looked at the doctor, conflict sitting clearly in his eyes.

"Tell me." I confidently stated, waiting for him to reply. I wasn't some weak little girl, I could handle the truth. I needed to know who could have possibly rescued me from the dark of the night.

"People have been searching for you for months, Miss. Adler. A police officer found you knocked unconscious on the sidewalk and an ambulance was quickly called. Do you remembering anything that happened while you were taken?" He asked me, causing my head to pound against my skull, and my palms to sweat. I had been taken? All I remembered was crimson. Crimson blood painted to my hand as I soared through the black ebony of nothingness. I don't remember what came before that. Just crimson.

"N-no. I-I … I was taken?" I mumbled in surprise, unsure of what had happened to me. Who had taken me? Did I have a life before I was taken? Did they hurt me? How did I get away? So many questions were swirling around in my head, pressing against my skull. Why couldn't I remember. Think. Just think.

"It's okay if you don't remember. You'll remember in your own time, just don't force it." The doctor stated, watching my strain, as I held my head, trying to remember something, anything. But the only thing in my head was crimson. Nothing else mattered, just crimson. All I saw when I closed my eyes was dark red. All I saw was crimson. What did it all mean? Why? Why? Why?

"Why?!" I screamed, causing the Doctor to widen his eyes in confusion.

"Why what Miss. Adler?" He asked me, unsure of what I was asking. My head was beating. It felt like a drum at this point with all the thoughts in my head. I needed to stop this. I needed peace, just for a little bit. A numb silence, just something to distract me from thinking. I looked around, trying to find something, anything that could take away my thoughts. But I found nothing.

"Why. Why. WHY?!" I screamed, holding my head in my hands as I closed my eyes in pain. It hurt. Everything hurt. I needed to get out of here. I needed to remember!

" , it's okay. Really. You're okay now." The Doctor said, my ears buzzing so much so that I could barely understand him. I wasn't okay. I was in pain. My head felt like a hammer constantly crushing my thoughts. My body was numb all over, and my stomach felt like satan was pressing down on it. Not only that but I couldn't even remember what had happened to me. I forgot the memories that made me who I was. And that scared me most of all. I started rocking back and forth, pulling my hair as I tried to stop the horrible pounding in my head. I was a mess. I was broken. I was nobody.

For days after I had woken up I did nothing but sit there, my eyes closed tightly as I rocked back and forth, my hands hugging my knees tightly as my head swirled with painful thoughts. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, and I didn't talk. Minutes blurred into hours, and hours into days as the weeks dragged on. I felt like I was going insane. All I could think about was trying to get my memory back. I needed to know what happened! I needed to know why all I could remember is crimson. I felt like I was living every day as a shell of the person I once was, like someone greater than me was controlling my every breath. I was alone, nothing but my thoughts keeping me company. They tried to make me act normal. They would try to feed me food, and force me to sleep. But they knew it would never work. Today was no different than any other as I sat there, shaking back and forth, my eyes clenched shut as a torturous throb racked my brain, and like always the sounds of a doctor entering the room reverberated around the silent room. Everything was the same … except, it wasn't. This couldn't be a doctor, or a nurse for that matter. No, they always were talking, trying to get me to do this, eat that, and talk about this. Always talking, never once shutting up. But this person … whoever had entered the room, was silent. Completely, utterly silent. I didn't stop moving, trying to ignore the other presence in the room so they'd leave me be and never come back again. However, I knew that wouldn't be the case, because not more then a minute later I heard crying. Sobs that sounded through the small room. Male sobs for that matter. Who was this man that was crying in my room? And why? I paused my rocking, my eyes slowly opening in what felt like years as bright sunlight filled my senses. I looked at the sobbing man.

"Phil." I whispered, my voice hoarse. Phil Lester. My best friend from primary school, secondary school and all through Uni. We had grown up together. Ever since we met we were inspirable. It wasn't until we went our separate ways after Uni that fateful day so many years ago that we ended up losing contact. It was like someone had pulled a plug. We just decided to stop talking, like it would be easier in a way. Better for the both of us. But now … seeing my best friend after so long, crying by my bedside … it made me feel, guilty somehow. Like I was the cause of it.

"Phil?" I questioned carefully getting off the bed and walking over to the sobbing man-child I called my best friend.

"Lils." He stated, hopeful, looking up at me, tears staining his cheeks, and his eyes puffy from crying.

"I'm so sorry Lils! So, so, so sorry." He said sincerely, pulling me into a giant hug, tears falling from his eyes like a waterfall.

"What? Why?" I asked in surprise. Why was he sorry, if anything I should be the one that's sorry. I was the one that had practically forced him to stop talking to me. Why should he be sorry?

"I wasn't there for you. I let you get hurt. I promised I'd never let you feel pain, and now your in hospital with so many injuries, and memory loss, and … and it's all m-my fa-fault." He stuttered, holding me tighter, as if trying to protect me from anything and everything.

"Oh, Phil." I sighed, pulling his face up to meet mine.

"It is not your fault. I would have been hurt whether you were with me or not." I told him, wiping his tears away.

"I-I could have saved you and …"

I stopped his mumbling, placing my hand over his mouth so I could talk. "That is not true, and you know it. If anything, you would have gotten hurt too, and that is something I will not let happen under any circumstances." I said, giving him a small smile. "And besides I'm fine now. I may not know what happened and I may have some memory loss, but I'm completely fine." I stated, pulling my hand away from his mouth, and sitting back down on the side of the bed.

"You are anything but fine, you have several injuries that must hurt horribly so, you have been in a very bad state where you haven't been eating, sleeping, or talking, and you completely forget what happened to you! That is not fine!" He stated, frowning.

"Okay, I admit that sounds bad, but it's not as bad as it sounds. I mean yes, I have broken ribs and stuff, but they drugged me so I can't feel it, and the concussion only gives me a headache, but I can handle a measly headache. Not to mention, I am talking, and moving around now, aren't I? I'd say I'm doing fine." I pointed out, smirking at him. I know that technically the headache was much worse, and the fact that gaps of my memory were missing was extremely stressing me out, but I couldn't very well tell him that, now could I? That would just freak him out even more. I needed to assure him, show him I was alright.

"Yeah, okay. Are you sure?" He asked, his voice a bit apprehensive.

"Phil, I'm sure. Now stop with all the worrying." I told him, laughing. Phil was still the same worrywart, panic filled, ball of sunshine I remember. Nothing had changed at all.

"I'm so sorry for not coming earlier." He said, his eyes morose as he looked down at the floor in shame. He still felt guilty. He felt bad. And he thought that I was angry with him, when in fact it was the complete opposite.

"Don't be. You came and that is all I could possibly ask for." I stated giving him yet another hug. "I had to, you're my biffl! And nothing, not even the apocalypse could stop me from seeing you in hospital." He said, looking back up at me, as a smile started to form on his face.

"So … what have you been up to since you left Uni?" I asked him, pulling him over to the bed to sit next to me. I knew he wanted to make YouTube videos for a living, and I knew he had a YouTube channel while he was in university. Did he continue with it though?

"Oh, remember the YouTube channel that I had in Uni? The one that you helped me with?" He asked me, a gigantic smile on his face as I nodded my head yes.

"I continued with it through university, and now I make a living off of it. Oh, and I also have a radio show with my roommate!" He explained, an enthusiastic spark in his eyes.

"Ooo you have a roommate?" I said raising my eyebrow, curious as to who this mystery person was that now lived with Phil.

"Yeah, his name is Dan. He's also a YouTuber, oh, and he helps with the radio show too! He's my best friend other than you." He said, his happy aura spreading quickly to me. Yes, I couldn't help but be upset that he had found a replacement for me while I was gone. But I was happy for him, he was living his dreams, and he had someone to take care of him, someone that he could share his accomplishments with, and that made everything worth it in a way. He had replaced me. He had found someone different, and he had moved on. But that was okay, I had tore us apart. He was just doing what I told him to, and I couldn't be upset about that.

"He sounds like an amazing person. I'm so glad that you've been so successful!" He left out a small laugh, his tongue sticking out of his teeth just the tiniest bit, like always.

"Thanks! So, what did you do after university?" He asked, my forehead crinkling in confusion. What did I do after Uni? I didn't remember much, and what I did remember was only small bits and pieces. I remembered … a laptop, and … characters. Was I a writer of some sort? Yes, I must of been. And … I remember a book. A book that I had sent off so long ago to get published. And I remember a book signing. Signing book after book after book until my hand cramped up, and my butt felt like it had melted to the chair. I had written a book … no, make that books. I had written several books … or at least, I think so.

"Well, I didn't get to become a screenwriter like I wanted, however, I did become a writer. From what I remember I wrote a few books … a series I think." I said, his eyes widening in awe.

"That's amazing Lils! I'm so happy for you!" He exclaimed, attacking me in yet another hug.

"Thanks. I don't really remember much of what happened after university, but at least I know I did something amazing." I stated, my voice somewhat muffled from Phil's shirt. The last thing I remembered was literally graduating and running off to America. That's it. I don't remember moving into a house, or actually, physically writing the books. I didn't remember anything from the past few years and it bothered me so much.

"Don't worry, anything you could have ever done would have been amazing." He whispered into my ear, holding me tighter. I was amazing? I was anything but amazing. I was a weak, broken girl with half of her memories missing. I was anything but amazing, no I was garbage. Why the heck would he ever think I was amazing? I mean, if anything he was the amazing one. Before I could do anything to reply, another voice spoke up.

"I see you're back to your old self again, Miss. Adler." A male voice stated, causing Phil to quickly released me in surprise. We both turned to see my doctor, no shock there since he always seemed to check on me at various times in the day. Of course he also was the obvious reason Phil was here, it only makes sense. I mean after all, me and Phil hadn't talked in awhile, and all of a sudden he knew where I was and came to visit? The Doctor probably thought that an old friend would snap me back to my old habits, and sadly he was very, very right. The shock of seeing Phil again, nonetheless, crying by my bedside had turned me around. I didn't want to make my best friend cry, and seeing him so upset had really set me in my place.

"Yup, not like you totally already knew that." I stated sarcastically, rolling my eyes at him.

"Well then, now that you're up and talking I'd like you to answer some questions if that's okay with you." The doctor replied back

"Do I have to?" I whined

"Yes." Phil answered giving me a stern look that just ended up making him look constipated

"Can't I just leave? I've been stuck here forever!" I said dramatically, falling onto the bed and closing my eyes in hope that they'd leave.

"Pretending to be asleep won't make the questions go away, Miss. Adler. I won't take that long, it is after all just a procedure that we do with all of the patients." The doctor told me, I shot my eyes open wide

"Bullshit." I shouted at him That was anything but true

"Please, just answer the questions. Please." Phil pleaded, giving me puppy dog eyes. He knew that even when we were younger they were a weakness of mine.

"Fine, but you owe me big time Phillip Lester." I told him, giving him a glare. I was not in the mood to answer stupid questions about stupid things that I couldn't even remember.

The doctor got his clipboard and a pen and looked down at the paper.

"Now then, does anything currently hurt?" He asked me holding his pen to the board, ready to write down what I tell him.

"Nope." I lied, trying to act strong in front of Phil. I hated feeling weak, and even though my body ached and my head felt like a steamroller had run over it I had to lie.

"Are you sure?" the doctor replied

"Yup, nothing hurts at all. Next question." I stated rather rudely, sitting up and crossing my feet

"Tell the truth Lils." Phil replied, immediately able to tell that I was lying

"Um … m-my body sorta aches. And m-my head sorta kinda really, really hurts." I stuttered looking down at the floor. I felt ashamed. I was normally the strong, sarcastic, sassy girl that always had the last word. But now, here. That wasn't the case. I was broken.

"How much have you ate in the last month would you say?" The doctor stated not even bothering to look me in the eyes.

I stared down at the floor. Unwilling to say anything on the subject.

"Miss. Adler? Do you know how much you've eaten? It doesn't need to be accurate, you can just average it out." He said to me. Of course he didn't know. I didn't let him. I threw it away before he could even notice. I was ashamed in myself

"Can I please skip the question?" I asked looking at my hands that were currently sitting in my lap to avoid any and all eye contact

"No, I'm afraid I need you to answer. About how much have you eaten?" The doctor replied, his eyes burning a hole through my body as he waited for an answer.

"None." I whispered quietly, unsure if anyone had heard me.

"Please repeat that, I couldn't understand you." The doctor replied giving me an answer.

"None. I-I haven't eaten anything." I said loudly, tears forming in my eyes as a loud gasp from Phil entered the room.

"And how much have you slept?" The Doctor asked, not even concerned with the fact that I haven't eaten anything.

"I haven't." I replied, a tear or two escaping my eyes as I tried desperately to hold back the water ready to pour down my eyes at any moment.

"What is the last thing you remember?" The doctor questioned

"Leaving university." I told him, my strong composure slowly slipping away.

"And do you remember anything from the incident?" he followed up, I thought long and hard but I could remember nothing. All I could feel, all I could hear was one word.

"Pain." I replied, tears falling freely down my face at this point.

"Okay, I'll leave you be. That's all for now." The doctor stated, quickly leaving the room. This was it, Phil must certainly hate me after everything I said. That is, until I felt a warm hand embrace my cold ones and I layed my head on his shoulder.

"Thank you for answering those questions, I know it was hard for you." He stated, holding me as I cried.

I kept crying and crying and crying until I had long since run out of tears. And Phil had sat there through it all, not once did he complain about his leg hurting, or ask to get up for any reason. He sat there and rubbed my back, letting me cry it out. Something I hadn't done in a long time. I was out of tears, out of reason to cry. And I guess the doctor knew that because once again he was back.

"Nice to see you again Miss. Adler. So, after reviewing your file I think it's safe to say that you do need to stay the hospital a while longer …" I glared at him, anger running through my veins. However, this time I wasn't angry at him and the millions of other nurses that were trying to keep me here. I was angry at myself. It was all my fault.

" … However I'm going to be letting you go." He finished, looking me with a small smile.

"Wait … really?" I asked, my voice a bit hoarse from crying for so long.

"Yes, it is apparent that your friend is clearly what you need to enable you to recover, and keeping you locked up in a place that you hate with people you don't know will do nothing to help you. So, I'm going to let you go, on one condition of course." He replied. He wasn't wrong

"What condition?" I asked, curious. Ready to leave more than ever.

"If it is okay with Phillip here, I need you to be watched and taken care of until you are fully healed. That being said I need you to stay with someone I can trust, and you can trust which means …"

"You want me to live with Phil." I finished, looking at Phil with a gigantic smile on my face."Do you mind having another roommate, Philly?" I asked him hoping that he'd say yes. I needed him to say yes.

"I don't mind one bit." He sad giving me a gigantic hug and swinging me around. I can't believe I'll get to live with my best friend after so long and finally get to leave this place.