Kolyat changed his mind.

No way….

There was just no way….

No fucking way that he would be able to continue watching the kid for a few more days. A few hours in and he was ready to lose his mind. Call it quits and walk away.

Ready to dump the baby anywhere but with him.

A cardboard box shoved into someone's arms as he ran for dear life.

I think I'm starting to realize how that stupid woman must have felt.

Ever since he walked through his front door and placed the baby down, an endless eruption of screaming and crying spewed from the little guy like a sudden storm. So much, in fact, that Kolyat was more than happy to make arrangements with child services for drop off, thirty minutes into the relentless ruckus that refused to cease. The only downside, however, was that since the baby was in his care - a registered officer - and not in any immediate danger, other cases took priority.

His appointment was in three days.

Three days until his life went back to normal.

Three days in trying not to lose his sanity.

Three days to not jump from the roof of his building if the crying didn't stop.

Kolyat's whole body was on edge as the wails intensified, like the scraping of metal against teeth, or calm rivers flowing towards exploding volcanoes, surrounded by turrets. His adrenaline pumped and he felt as if he just ran a marathon with how fast his heart was racing in frustration. He was desperate as he read the datapad beside him on the table, hoping to find something - anything - to just make the crying stop.

Nothing the passages said made any sense.

Granted it took him several attempts to figure out how to get a diaper on the kid properly, ripping a few, or getting some tangled, or stuck to his fingers, as he tried to close the latches, but the baby wore a new diaper and was completely clean. He was also fed and ri'khal lotion was applied to his crown fringe where Kolyat noticed some scales starting to peel.

The kid should be in heaven, not dragging him down to suffer in the bowels of purgatory.

Kolyat didn't have any baby toys so he tried dangling different colored measuring spoons - as the datapad suggested - like a mock item of interest. Nothing deterred the babies attention.

He tried purring. He tried rocking the carrier. He tried a drink. He was about to offer the kid a kidney if he would just stop crying. What else could be the problem? The screams were irate and Kolyat despaired as he reached three hours straight with nothing but ceaseless laments.

He was exhausted. He knew the baby was exhausted. The whole fucking Citadel was exhausted. So why wasn't he calming down and going the fuck to sleep?

Kolyat tried another piece of food, bringing a soft piece of fruit to the babies mouth, but the infant pulled his face away from the spoon almost immediately. He hesitated in the noise, giving Kolyat a second of hope before the infant took a deep rattled breath and released another high pitched scream. His arms flailed and the tiny fists clenched so tight that the color of his hands began to drain.

Kolyat sat down and sighed heavily, dropping his face into an open palm. He rubbed his eyes wearily and glanced down at the time on his onmitool before he ran a hand over his head crown in defeat. He felt like he was at wit's end. Maybe the baby wanted to be held? Kolyat really didn't want to, but if that's what it took just to get a few moments of quiet...

A few minutes of sleep.

Kolyat placed the spoon in his other hand back in the bowl and stood, unlatched the buckle between the babies legs in the carrier, and reached out to cradle the baby in his arms. At first, Kolyat did his best not to grow increasingly agitated while the screams and flailing continued. Trying to give the baby the benefit of the doubt while he brought the infant to look over his shoulder and kept him secure with one arm.

That was until Kolyat noticed the heat radiating off the infant's body like a preheating oven.

The baby's skin felt incredibly hot beneath the green one-piece outfit. His scales felt slick and seemed duller than Kolyat thought they should be. Carefully, Kolyat took a free hand and brought it up to feel the babies forehead. Intense warmth hit his palm, blooming from the babies temple.

"Shit," Kolyat cursed, knowing something seemed extremely off, mad at himself for not noticing sooner. Drells weren't supposed to get this hot unless it was mi'taro and that was not supposed to happen for males, the first time, until the age of ten.

With one hand he threw some diapers and food into the carrier and shoved the babies blanket on top before grabbing the handle and making a break for it towards his front door.


"His fevers pretty high. Do you know if he's missing any vaccinations?" The doctor asked, hitting a few buttons on the scanner she used to check the baby's oxygen intake and temperature. She placed the device down and switched places with the medical technician that was helping to hold the baby on the exam table.

Kolyat shook his head and frowned. "I'm sorry, I – I wasn't given any information." He began to wonder if the baby was even taken care of properly, to begin with before he was shoved into Kolyat's arms. Kolyat mentally seethed as that scenario became more factual. The woman's irresponsible actions should've already been a tip-off from the beginning.

'I never signed up for this.'

She could've at least approached him like a decent person and explained the situation. He wasn't unreasonable. He would've listened and given her a chance for them to figure it out together, instead of a dash and desert on her part.

What a cunt.

"The baby was just dropped off at the precinct," Kolyat continued. Not a complete lie. "He has an appointment with child services in three days. That's all I really know."

"Did you notice anything out of the unusual other than the temperature?" The human doctor asked, circling the table, checking the baby's ears and throat while her asari technician moved to accommodate her.

Kolyat shook his head again in denial. "Other than the constant crying? Nothing. I took him home. I changed him. I fed him. I put some lotion on his shedding fringe. Then I realized how hot he was. I came straight here."

"He's been crying the whole time? Has he slept at all?"

"Not since I got him this morning," Kolyat sighed, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion before glancing at the technician who pursed her lips as if trying to hide a smile.

I'm glad my exhaustion is amusing because I'm ready to lose my fucking sanity.

"His tonsils are inflamed and his ears are infected." The human rested the stethoscope around the back of her neck, dangling it over her shoulders as she touched the babies neck with the tips of her fingers, her gaze locked on the wall in front of her like she was concentrating. "What did you feed him?"

"A few piyoh crackers," Kolyat answered, tucking his arms against his chest starting to worry. Maybe the baby was sick because of something he did? Was it the food? "I gave him some falai fruit, like five small pieces, but he's been fighting me with any more food and I couldn't get him to drink any water. Is – Is he going to be okay?" Kolyat did his best to keep the panic he felt swelling within his stomach from seeping into his voice. Although he thought he might have failed in concealing it all.

The doctor looked at him and smiled, which was probably meant as reassurance, and nodded. "Once we figure out, if whatever is going on is viral or bacterial, we can treat him. That is of course if there's nothing else hidden causing the symptoms." She moved her hands to the baby's chest and started unbuttoning the onesie. "You probably don't know if he's allergic to any medications, right?"

Kolyat shook his head again feeling useless. "How sick was the baby? Was it something he should've noticed sooner? Was some of the infants discomfort his fault. Guilt wiggled its way into Kolyat's gut like an unwanted guest. Maybe if he paid more attention and didn't get frustrated so quickly he would've noticed something quicker?

If he wasn't so wrapped up in the inconvenience to himself … not even considering what the baby was going through - being unwanted by their own mother….

As if I don't know what that feels like….

Kolyat pushed his spiraling dark thoughts away and concentrated on the doctor who finished removing the cloth and took her stethoscope to start listening to his lungs and stomach. She waited patiently, not in the least bit distressed or worried while the baby wailed and fought as the technician held the baby and sat him up a little so the human could check his back.

Kolyat tried to imagine himself dealing with that every day and couldn't. Not even a full day in and he felt like a hot mess of anxiety and frustration.

"Let's weigh him," the doctor spoke up, looking at the tech once she was finished feeling around the babies stomach and down his legs. "He's colicky, and it sounds like he has some moisture in his lungs. He was most likely brought into a humid environment too early for his lungs to handle it."

Fear filled Kolyat's chest knowing all too well the infant mortality rates when they were left in high moisture locations. It was mandatory that infants remained in high heat and dry conditions for the first two months. Was the woman on Kahje before she came here? Did she keep him outside the domed city for an extended period of time?

Anger and resentment coursed through Kolyat's veins because of a woman who was supposed to be a protector and caregiver but instead could be the reason for the death of a child. Not wanting to be a mother was one thing, but the irresponsibility of how they handled it … a situation hitting close to home.

"He's a few pounds underweight." The doctor frowned and shook her head. "He was just left at C-Sec?"

Kolyat nodded, his lips turning down in disapproval.

"He's been mistreated," she continued. "The belly button also looks like there's a slight infection from a ripped off umbilical cord - it wasn't left to fall off naturally - and if you notice his back-" She lifted the baby and turned him over. "You can see marks where his skin tore. He hasn't been bathed properly or given anything to sooth his scale growth."

If I get an opportunity to find her, I'm bringing her ass up on child negligence charges. Fucking cunt.

"How old do you think he is?" The older he was, the better chance he had at survival.

The doctor took a tiny flashlight from her pocket and grabbed a glove from the other. After putting it on, she waited as the tech held the baby and then pushed a finger into the babies mouth, fighting against him as he tried to move his head while he screamed. "He's about four weeks."

Four weeks … that might not be old enough for his lungs to heal….

The doctor pulled her hand back and removed her glove, watching as the asari grabbed a clean white onesie from a bin and started putting the outfit on the golden, yellow, infant. "Let's get an IV drip going. Take some blood and we'll administer some antibiotics to get the fever down until we see exactly what bacteria or virus we are dealing with." Picking up a datapad on the counter she looked over the file and clicked on a few indicators. "I'm also ordering something to help him sleep. He needs rest." She turned her gaze towards Kolyat. "Are you planning on staying with him?"

Kolyat swallowed roughly but nodded several times in quick succession. The whole ordeal was unexpected but, given the circumstances, he felt somewhat responsible to see the situation through, until he at least knew the baby was going to be okay and safely delivered into child services custody.

The doctor nodded in return and then turned her attention to the technician who finished dressing the baby and was now wrapping him in a white hospital blanket. "Alright, once the baby is set up in one of the rooms, get Officer Krios a reclining couch. He's going to be here awhile."


A box.

Another freaking box.

The baby was sleeping in another box - given that it was large and clear and had a cushioned bottom, technically it was still a box - large holes cut into the sides and a lid to complete the structure.

Kolyat moved from the doorway and made his way into the room, unsure what to do with himself. He hated hospitals. Hated the atmosphere and the eerie quiet of them. The only sounds in the room being the clicks and beeps of the medical monitors. Not to mention the smell. The antiseptic coating that covered your tongue like a bundled blanket the deeper you went into the facility like a snowstorm. He hated the cold of the rooms.

Although the babies room seemed warmer than most. Kolyat noticed the heat lamps as soon as he entered, and the temperature regulators next to the large container the infant occupied showing one hundred degrees within. The lower half of his body was still wrapped in the blanket but his arms were free. One hand was covered in a large bandage where an IV line connected to a nearby console, the wires, and tubes held through a small hole in the side of the plastic cubicle.

The baby seemed blissful and serene and looking at him finally in deep slumber, Kolyat could feel a weight lift from his shoulders. The invisible tense waves of the day finally calming and giving him a reprieve. He would never take quiet moments for granted again.

He sat in the cushioned chair provided for him and noticed the indicator on the side let him know that the structure would recline if he pushed back on it. Exhaustion hit him like a falling building, and Kolyat leaned back and slanted the chair a little for comfort. If he was going to be here awhile he might as well get some rest.

He kept the infant in his view until his eyes slipped closed, a tiny smile on the babies mouth just as Kolyat drifted off into his own deep slumber.


The infant remained in the hospital for two days. Kolyat went home at one point to quickly shower and change, grab some food and head straight back to Huerta. For some reason every time he left the babies side an annoying, gnawing feeling, ate away at his gut, urging Kolyat to get back to the babies side. He didn't know what it was. Something annoying, making him feel responsible until he knew the child was going to be alright.

He hated the feeling. The uncertainty causing worry to cloud his mind. The quiet between nurse or doctor visits forcing him to be alone with his thoughts and the scenarios that came to the surface. At one point he grew frustrated when he started crunching the numbers again. The night Kolyat spent with the woman, the length of pregnancy and the age of the child. He tried to review the memory of that night. Tried to recall if the woman was in heat, but the experience of her now made him sick to his stomach.

That night she was a stranger, but now he knew just enough about the type of person she was to wish he never gave her the time of day. He should've found someone else, maybe pursued that man he originally had his eye on. If he took a chance, instead of backing off, he probably could've taken him away from the turian.

Kolyat sighed and shook his head, pushing away the 'what ifs' and rose from his chair. He needed to stretch his legs. Maybe get something for the kid to take with him when he was dropped off at child services. The doctors told him that the baby was doing much better. The antibiotics and medicines helping his lungs and breaking the fever. They gave him a special medicinal bath for his scales and told him over time, with proper care, the marks of his torn scales would disappear.

Without realizing, Kolyat ended up at the baby store he visited the day before. Walking around slowly, he wandered the aisles for several minutes, not sure what he was even looking for. Eventually, he stopped at a display table with several baby toys and a mountain of stuffed animals. He smiled as he picked up an elcor plushie and turned it over to glance at the price, wondering if he should buy that for the baby. If a toy would make him happy.

"I didn't think I would see you again," a familiar voice called out.

Kolyat looked up from the table and stared straight ahead, the dark purple drell from the day prior stood before him, gold eyes bright and a friendly smile etched across full luscious mouth. "Gavin," Kolyat stated, wishing he was a little smoother, but felt preoccupied with too many crushing thoughts.

Gavin didn't seem to mind Kolyat's lack of finesse because he nodded and smiled wider, taking a few steps closer. "Kolyat," he said back and then glanced around the table. "Where's the baby?"

Kolyat pursed his lips and placed the plushie back on the table before he quietly answered, "in the hospital."

The surprise on Gavin's expression was easily recognisable, a soft mournful purr emitting from his throat in soothing apology. "I'm sorry to hear that. What happened?"

Kolyat sighed and rubbed his eyes, the stress of the last few days coming back to him on the currant of a silent oncoming tidal wave. He shook his head and rubbed a hand over his head fringe before letting his gaze fall back on Gavin. His patient, golden eyes, full of genuine care. His elegant fingers forming into a loose fist against his chest. "A little after I left here, I realized he had a high fever. I took him straight to Huerta Memorial. That's why he was irate and crying so much. The piyoh crackers soothed him, but…."

Gavin glanced down at the table as if thinking, his expanding irises indicating that he might be lost in a memory. After just a moment, he blinked and snapped his gaze back towards Kolyat, a frown making his smile fall. "I'm sorry I didn't notice when you were here. Do they know what caused it?"

"That is definitely not your fault. I actually appreciated the help you gave me," Kolyat returned before he momentarily fell silent, unsure of how much he wanted to admit to a complete stranger again. A completely beautiful stranger. "Child negligence," Kolyat finally confessed after several heartbeats of silence, seeing immediately the question and astuteness in Gavin's stare and the need for Kolyat to explain further. "The baby was actually abandoned and … put in my care for a few days until he could be dropped off at child services." Kolyat was starting to become exceptionally good at the half truths. "When I took him to Huerta, the doctors noticed that he was neglected on several counts. Mostly because he was left in a high moisture area for too long."

Gavin blinked and stared at him in budding horror. "That's awful. Is he going to be okay?"

Kolyat smiled softly and nodded, looking back down at the table, running the palm of his hand against an exceptionally soft blue blanket. "The hospital is going to release him tomorrow and then I'm going to take him straight to child services. I uh … I just wanted to get him something and … I ended up here."

Another gentle smile slowly pulled at Gavin's lips, his expression soft and filled with something Kolyat felt was compassion. "The sentiment is nice, even though he won't remember you, maybe you can scent mark the blanket and a piece of you will remain with him for a time."

Gavin's words made him pause. He won't remember me. Myself … or his stupid mother.

That was a good thing, right?

Unexpected nausea rolled through Kolyat, but he fought it down and nodded with a sense of sadness. A sense of detachment and uncertainty.

The child's not mine. I'm making the right choice. It's good that he won't remember anything he's been through.

Kolyat looked up and forced a smile to his lips before he picked the blanket up and held it slightly up toward, Gavin. "Do you have something like this in green and yellow?"


"You need more blood?" Kolyat asked the technician in raising suspicion when she came into the room in the middle of the night. He knew she tried her best not to wake him, but her footsteps were not as silent as she'd probably hoped and the shifting of her uniform jacket roused him from his sleep. She glanced at him and smiled just as she finished drawing a small amount of blood from the IV line into a tiny tube.

Was the medical staff trying to bleed him dry?

How much blood did he have left to give?

"Just a small amount." The nurse reassured. "The doctor wants to run one more test to check his vital organs. Make sure all the blood counts are correct now that the fever broke and he's going to be released in the morning.

Kolyat stayed silent for a moment, his mind still foggy from the remnants of lost sleep and his jumbled uncertainties from the last few days. The question left his mouth before he could think twice. "Can I ... can I ask for a specific test if I wanted it?"

"Depends on what it is and if it's warranted," the nurse shrugged casually.

"I ..." Kolyat sighed and rubbed the back of his neck trying to look anywhere except at the asari who stood before him. Eventually, he snapped his gaze straight to hers with determination, his mind made up in wanting to know the truth. "I want to run a paternity test."

The nurse blinked without expression and looked between the baby and himself. "I ... I see. I sense some kind of hidden story here, but ... let me just ask one question and I really need you to answer honestly?"

"Alright." He narrowed his gaze.

"In the interest of the child's safety. Was the story true? Was the baby dropped off at the police station in his current condition?" Her eyes were hard, heavy like she could see through bullshit thrown at her. She had to in her field of work. The child had been neglected after all.

Kolyat licked his dry lips and nodded. "He was ... but by a woman, I slept with almost a year ago."

"I see." She had no judgment in her gaze but she looked down and pursed her lips.

It made Kolyat a little nervous. Like he needed to speak, say something - anything. "I just need to know before I bring him to the agency tomorrow. At least I'll know if I'm making the right choice."

The nurse drew her lips into a thin line, almost as if she was refraining herself from saying something. Taking a deep breath she squared her shoulders and reached into her pocket taking out a second tiny vial. "I'll need a little more blood, and some of yours as well."

She turned and took a little more from the baby and placed the vial in her pocket. Peeling off her gloves she threw them in the medical waste bin and grabbed a fresh pair from a cabinet beside the bed. Placing them on she nodded at him and Kolyat took that as his silent cue to roll up the sleeve of his shirt. After an alcohol swab and a quick draw, she gave him a cotton ball to press against the spot of injection.

She placed the vial in her opposite pocket and took off the gloves, tossing them with the first pair into the bin. She turned to leave but hesitated at the door, her gaze going from him towards the baby. "I'm not supposed to ask personal questions that aren't related to the ailment but ... what will you do if he turns out to be yours? Will you still take him to the agency?"

"Yes," Kolyat answered without hesitation. "I can't take care of a baby. I barely have my own life together, and his mother clearly wanted nothing to do with him. It's not fair that I have to make up for her negligence."

The words were harsh and Kolyat wondered if he truly meant them or if he was just venting his frustration.

The woman stood silent and stared. Another glance at the clear box and then at him before she nodded her head and left without another word.

Nothing would make him feel guilty about his decision. Honestly, it was just an annoying curiosity. It didn't matter if the baby was his or not. What kind of life would he be able to give a child at that moment?

Granted, yes, he did have savings, still, much of his father's inheritance Thane told him to keep, but how would it even work? He couldn't tell his father what happened, couldn't distract him while he just recovered from his lung transplant and was traveling with Shepard, gods know where. He had no significant other to ask for help, fuck, he barely had any friends - and the ones he did have wouldn't know an ass from an elbow.

There would be late night feedings and constant crying. He would need child care and what if the baby got sick again? Children were expensive and he doubted his salary would cover everything. He would be exhausted and it would make his job unsafe if he couldn't concentrate.

He was thinking about this too much….

No. He couldn't raise a baby. His job took up all of his time, and he knew the effects of an absentee father. There would be no other hara or haru to be reliable on. He was alone. The baby would be alone. Not even a single relative nearby.

No ... it didn't matter what the results were. Tomorrow, once released, he was going to take the baby straight to the agency and be done with it. No strings attached. No looking back.

It was better for everyone.

He won't remember me….


Several hours later, Kolyat's omnitool alerted him to an incoming message from the hospital. The results of the paternity test.

Taking a deep breath, Kolyat opened the email but closed his eyes and grit his teeth trying to catch his bearings, wanting to reassure himself. "It doesn't matter," he whispered. "I already made my decision."

He opened his eyes and looked at the ceiling, the beat of his heart hammering against his ribcage made his chest feel as if it was about to explode. Licking his lips, Kolyat let out a ragged breath, doing his best to fight back the waves of terror from forming in his gut.

Arashu, Goddess of motherhood and protection. I leave it in your hands.

He looked down and stopped breathing.

Paternity results: Positive match.