DISCLAIMER: I do not own "Naruto"
Chapter Two – Crouching in the Night
Sasuke stares at the mug of black coffee in his hand. He hates coffee. He doesn't know why he's even attempting to stay awake; after all, his body hasn't gotten rest in the last few weeks. He sighs.
"You awake yet, Jerkface?"
Sasuke doesn't even acknowledge his blond teammate, it might get his hopes up and Sasuke doesn't want to do that.
"Sasuke?"
He breathes heavily through his nose, still staring at his coffee.
"Dude, Sasuke, what's wrong?"
Chakra starts tingling in Sasuke's free hand.
"Stop pestering him, Naruto," Sakura says, and Naruto does.
Sasuke's eyes briefly flicker up from his coffee to meet Sakura's jade ones. She doesn't smile, she just gives him that look—that look that implies she knows his secrets; that look that implies she knows he's suffering and that she's there for him, if he needs her. He hates that look. He returns his gaze to the black liquid turning cold and stagnant in his grasp.
"Awww, man! Why is it always like this?" Naruto whines. "Doesn't Kakashi-sensei realize this is our first time training together since Team Seven's been reassembled?"
"For which I am very grateful to be included in," Sai says with that dumb smile on his face.
"We're glad you came, Sai," Sakura says happily before turning her attention to Naruto. "You! Stop being impatient. You know that Sensei visits the memorial every morning. He'll get here when he gets here."
The banter of Team Seven is so reminiscent of their early days from so many years ago. Sasuke finds it annoying, or that's what he tells himself in order to retain as much dignity as he can. He feels like he's losing sight of who he is, or maybe who he's supposed to be. He doesn't know. What he does know is that he doesn't like not knowing. He used to always be three steps ahead of everything and now…well, he's lucky if he's keeping pace with everyone else. His mind is such a mess and he knows it's only getting worse.
Itachi leans over his brother's shoulder, his ghostly form a cold breeze against Sasuke's skin, and says, "Sasuke, you haven't touched your coffee."
He turns the mug over and dumps the foul drink. He imagines the grass wilting upon contact and he's amused.
"Such a morbid mind," Itachi frowns.
Sasuke looks up to see the rest of Team Seven watching him oddly. "What?" he snaps.
The appearance of Kakashi interrupts whatever remark Naruto was about to spit out, for which Sasuke is extremely relieved.
"Sorry I'm late," Kakashi starts, but doesn't get the chance to finish.
"We know, Sensei," Sakura says gently. "You don't have to make any excuses."
The silver-haired jounin smiles at his sole female student—former student, Sasuke thinks.
"You always were bright, Sakura." He looks the group over and his eyes sparkle with emotion. "It's been…a long time," he says and his voice is especially gravelly. "I can't believe how far you've all come. I—I'm proud of you."
Sasuke's chest tightens with something akin to happiness, which he hasn't felt in many years. No sooner does it come then he is trying to stomp it down. The copynin has no reason to be proud of him. He's a killer and a traitor and a coward. There's nothing in him to be proud of. His eyes narrow.
He glances at the other members of the team. Naruto is grinning like an idiot, just like Sai. Sakura, however, looks like she's fighting back tears. He rolls his eyes.
"So sentimental," Itachi intones. "I don't remember Kakashi ever letting his emotions show. You're similar to him in that way."
Sasuke scoffs and again the eyes of his teammates turn on him. Sakura's teary eyes are narrowed at him and he almost feels ashamed.
Kakashi clears his throat and stands up straighter. "Anyway, Yamato won't be joining us today. As much as he wanted to be here, he was called away for a mission."
"Man, that makes the sparring teams short one," Naruto says.
"No worries. I'll sit out," Kakashi replies with what seems to be a smile. "I'll ref while you guys duke it out."
Naruto leans over to Sasuke and whispers, "Yeah right. More like he'll be reading that smut of his."
Sasuke smirks at the comment. So Kakashi is still as perverted as ever. Nice to know some things never change.
"Are we picking partners or are we being assigned?" Sakura asks.
Sasuke glances at her with narrowed eyes and wishes she had kept her mouth shut.
Kakashi puts a finger to his chin and pretends to think about that for a moment. "Hmm…pick partners or assigned partners? Which to choose?"
Sakura's face turns grim with irritation as Kakashi mocks her.
"Actually," Kakashi says, looking at them with mischief in his eyes. "I was thinking group sparring, but—" he raises his finger "—we're gonna have an experiment."
"What do you mean by experiment?" Sakura asks through her teeth.
"It's going to be three against one," he answers with glee.
Sakura's eyes shoot a nervous look at Sasuke for just a second, but he catches the look and he knows exactly what she's thinking. She's afraid it'll be him against the rest of Team Seven. She thinks it'll hurt the fragile bonds they've regained. She thinks he'll lose and that it'll hurt his pride—okay, so maybe she's not so concerned about that, he doesn't know. However, he thinks her concern is misplaced.
"Naruto!"
"Yes, sir, Kakashi-sensei?"
"You're it."
Naruto's grin reveals every tooth in his mouth and a fire lights up his eyes. "So it's ninja tag, huh?" He turns to the others of the Team. "You guys better start running."
Naruto pounces at the person closest to him, who happens to be Sasuke. Sasuke, seeing the intended tackle a mile away, dodges with ease. It only takes a few back handsprings and he's way out of the dobe's reach. He straightens his back and watches as Sakura jumps into a tree and Sai takes to the sky on his inked bird. And then Naruto's sights are back on him. Fantastic.
"What's wrong, little brother? Don't think you can take him?" Itachi asks.
"As if," Sasuke replies, his eyes narrowed.
Naruto runs at him with a challenge in his eyes and a smirk that displays his enormous ego.
Sasuke's mind goes on auto-pilot as he runs forward to meet Naruto in battle. Fighting Naruto is as natural as anything else in the world, as if fate intended them to exist in opposition. Sasuke knows that Naruto is the only one who will ever be able to defeat him, just as he is the only one who could ever defeat Naruto. In the recesses of his mind, Sasuke wonders if this is why the others haven't joined in the fight yet.
Their battle is intense, as they always are, filled with emotions that can only be expressed through fists flying and guttural growls. Soon it morphs from the sparring of teammates to the battle of bitter rivals. Sasuke is sweating and he finds pleasure in every hit he lands on Naruto. They haven't fought like this since their battle at the Valley of the End, before they joined forces to defeat Tobi.
"Don't you think you're taking this a little too far?" Itachi asks with worry in his eyes.
Sasuke snarls. He can see Naruto beginning to doubt the fight. His attacks are lacking confidence and he blocks with desperation. There's anger and maybe even fear lurking in those blue eyes of his. Sasuke feels empowered. With a menacing smirk, he pulls back his fist and throws it full force at Naruto—
Itachi shakes his head, eyes downcast.
—Sasuke's eyes have gone wide and he begins to shake with guilt. Sakura stands before him panting and his fist caught in her iron-grip hand.
"Sasuke," she whispers and he wonders if she is appalled.
Her hand softens around his, fingers that were pressing too hard, now gentle. The touch is like ice. He doesn't deserve her gentleness and, with sorrow spreading through him, he realizes he doesn't deserve her friendship either. He yanks his hand free of hers and ignores the throbbing in his bones. Sakura's gaze is full of questions that he can't answer in his current state of instability, so he turns his back on her. As he begins to walk away from the training grounds, he fights the urge to claw off his ears because he can't ignore the concerned calls of his teammates…or Itachi's silence.
Sasuke makes it all the way to Market Street without someone coming after him. They must've decided it was best to give him some time and space. He doesn't think he'll ever get enough time or space to heal. Looking over at Itachi, Sasuke is annoyed to see that his brother is still refusing to speak to him. Itachi must be mad that his little brother didn't listen to him. Sasuke never listens to Itachi, but more than ever, he wishes Itachi would talk. Being on the receiving end of a ghost's cold shoulder is disheartening—it makes Sasuke feel very alone.
Walking through the village, Sasuke sees a lot of them—shinobi who didn't survive the war. They wander about what used to be their daily lives and don't realize that they can't be seen by anyone but him. He wishes he were among those who don't see the ghosts. They remind him daily of the evil he allowed to take root in his heart. Every ghost he sees is a life he helped destroy—a life he took. Perhaps he didn't do it directly, but he'd chosen the side that was guilty. He'd chosen Madara—no, Tobi.
Sasuke scowls. He hates his life and what he's done with it. All the lies he's been led to believe swirl around his head, taunting him. The lies he believed are what got him where he is now…alone, hurting, and paranoid. He can admit that easily enough to himself, but he'll never speak of his insecurities aloud. No one can save him.
Emptiness awaits him when he walks through the door into his dark apartment. More silence. It seems to be in abundance today. He removes his shoes by the door and sulks as he makes his way to the couch. From the shadows, Itachi silently watches him with his glowing red eyes—the eyes that shouldn't be there because they sit in Sasuke's head. The whole thing is sickening: that his brother is watching him with the eyes Sasuke stole; that Itachi has already died twice and yet he's still here; that Sasuke wishes Itachi would stay dead; that he misses his brother's commentary on his life; that he wishes he could hear his mother's singing instead of the silence. It's all wrong.
Sasuke runs his fingers through his black hair. He can't take the silence.
"Why won't you say anything?" he mumbles, but there is no reply. He glances over his shoulder. "Huh? No answer? Don't you think you've made your point?" He leans his elbows on his legs and props his head in his hands. "You warned me—you're disappointed in me." Sasuke gets to his feet and turns toward his brother. "You have no right to be disappointed. Everything I am is because of you!" he screams. His face contorts with anger when Itachi still says nothing. "I came back, just like you wanted! WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?"
Itachi closes his eyes and sighs. "You didn't come back for me. You didn't even come back for yourself."
Sasuke breathes heavily as he attempts to regain his composure, but he can't because he knows that Itachi is right. Instead, he turns away from his brother and goes to his room where he can seethe in peace. He knows he's become a coward, always running away, always hiding, but it's second nature now and he doesn't know if can or even wants to change.
He crouches in the corner by his bedside wondering why he allowed so many people to play god with his life. He was supposed to be the one in control, that's how it'd always been…or so he'd thought. Now he realizes that he never was in control. He played perfectly into the hands of so many corrupt people as if he were a mere puppet.
Night falls and he hasn't moved. He rests his head against the wall and his eyes are shut, but he is still awake and fully aware that Itachi is still absent. Perhaps his words had an effect on the ghost after all, but then the doorknob turns and Sasuke smirks. Of course Itachi wouldn't leave him for long.
"Sasuke."
Sasuke's eyes snap open. "What are you doing here, Sakura?" he asks hoarsely. Standing slowly, he fights a wince at the objections his joints are screaming. "Just because I agreed to be your friend doesn't mean you can come to my house in the middle of the night."
Sakura's pink eyebrow rises. "It's ten in the morning, Sasuke."
He doesn't reply, but simply goes to the window and opens the black curtain. He squints as a beam of light pierces the darkness of his bedroom. He must have lost track of time. It's hard to believe he sat in his bedroom through the entire day and well into the next. Turning back to Sakura, he frowns.
"You didn't answer me," he says tersely.
Sakura's gaze softens. "I was worried about you."
Sasuke looks away from her and his frown deepens. "You should be more worried about Naruto…or yourself," he adds as an afterthought. "I could have hurt you."
"Is that your way of apologizing?"
Sasuke casts a sideways glance at her, glaring when he sees her blush.
She instantly sobers. "I can handle myself, and Naruto—" she smiles a little "—he'll get over it." She takes a step closer to Sasuke and places a hand on his arm. "Will you be able to get over it?"
Sasuke wants to throw her out of his room, but he promised himself he would try to be her friend. Instead, he removes her hand from his arm and leads her to the living room couch. They both sit. He feels uncomfortable under her watchful gaze, but there's something he has to get off his chest.
"Do you know why I betrayed Tobi?"
Sakura smiles. "Because it was the right thing to do."
Sasuke looks at her with dark eyes. "No. I betrayed Tobi because he lied to me. He used me and I wanted revenge."
The hopeful look in Sakura's eyes disappears and she swallows. "It doesn't matter why you changed sides, Sasuke. It won the war. We have peace now because of you." She takes his hand. "You're home now and that's all that matters to me."
His eyes narrow. "I didn't return to Konoha because it's home," he says quietly. "I returned to enact my revenge upon the Council. Tsunade has done what she promised and revealed all the lies they spun, but this place isn't home."
Tears gather in Sakura's eyes, but she blinks them away, attempting to be strong. "Will you always be seeking revenge? Isn't there anyone you trust?"
He looks down at their hands, hers is small and delicate against his larger, rougher hand. He realizes this is the second time she's held his hand and he thinks that she's breaking her promise. Anger stirs in him for a moment, until he hears Itachi's voice.
"She knows you don't feel the same for her. She just wants you to know that she's here, like a friend is supposed to be."
Sasuke stares at their hands and the anger subsides. He lifts his gaze and looks her in the eye. "You've never lied to me. I trust you."
A/N: Here is your update. Thanks, wingedmercury, for being an amazing beta!
Also...a status update. Because this summer has been so rediculously busy, I am sadly behind on my writing. I had an incident last week that kept me off the computer and honestly, I'm just behind on everything. I'll be updating We Are Extinct next, but I have to finish the chapter first...so...not sure when it'll be up.
Until next time...peace.
