CHAPTER 2: Ron's point of view

"I'm telling you it won't fit."

"And I'm telling you you won't know unless you let me try."

"No, Draco, I've seen the bloody thing of yours and it's just too big."

"No, it's not. It's just perfect. "

I heard this conversation between my ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend when I finally found our little group of friends and lovers in the ministry cafeteria one day. Needless to say, I was pretty shocked. In more ways than one, actually. Weren't they embarrassed to have this type of private conversation in front of their friends, moreover in public, where practically anyone could hear them? And since when Hermione refused to have sex? And most importantly, is Malfoy seriously that big?

You may be surprised we're even talking to each other, and in the same group of people, right? Well actually, after I 'anonymously' received some photos, I had an awful fight with Hermione when she announced she's breaking up with me. But thanks to that, we somehow managed to sort out some things, and in the end went back to being just good friends. At first I thought it was the worst possible scenario, but to my total surprise not only I get to flirt with anyone I please without the knowledge that I need to be discreet about it so that my girlfriend doesn't find out, but even Harry and Ginny started talking to me again! Can you understand that? I certainly don't. I don't even understand why they stopped talking to me in the first place... Well, that's one of the mysteries of human psychology, I guess...

Anyway, while I wasn't looking, Harry and Ginny miraculously became friends with Malfoy (suppose it happened when they kept visiting Hermione, since Malfoy works in the same room), who in the end dragged Pansy Parkinson with him. I'm not particularly happy about this fact. Not that I hold any grudge or anything and she is easy on the eyes, but I can never understand what she's thinking. Moreover sometimes she gives me weird looks I can't really interpret. I just don't feel comfortable around her...

So, after they accepted me again, our group consists of six people, including two couples. Yes, it's a pretty inconsistent group, but somehow it holds together just fine.

Back to the original topic; another thing that shocked me about that conversation was the reaction it was receiving from its immediate surroundings. Or more like, it wasn't receiving. Harry and Ginny were happily chatting away while Parkinson was just listening and kept grinning (or smirking?) at what she heard. Definitely not the kind of reaction I'd expect. Something's off here...

"Hermione, why won't you satisfy just one of my needs?"

"Dear, and why should I?" Not good for Malfoy. Hermione started using pet names. She's starting to get seriously annoyed. "You don't need it. No one needs something like that."

"Well, I do and if you won't comply, I'll break up with you!"

"Yeah, right," said sarcastically Hermione. "Says the one who practically begged me to go out with him a month ago."

"..." Funny, he's not denying it...

Parkinson snorted. "He begged?"

"Yup. And pretty desperately, too. He was so cute, like a puppy. I just didn't have it in me to say 'no'."

"Draco, I told you I want a detailed report! You didn't mention anything about begging!"

"..."

"Aww, he's blushing! How adorable!" squealed Parkinson.

"Just shut it, you! Hermione, just say 'okay, than' again and everyone will be happy."

"No, everyone won't be happy. My walls and I won't be happy."

Wow, it must be really serious... I choose this moment to let my presence be known. "Hi there."

Everyone greeted me back. I wanted to ask, why they were having this sort of conversation here of all places, but Harry was quicker. "Hey, Malfoy, why won't you just drop it already? She can be really stubborn when she wants. I'd say your chances are less than zero. Moreover, you're being unreasonable."

Eh? Harry, as a guy, agrees with Hermione? Is he saying he'd happily stay in a relationship without sex? (Let's just ignore the fact that he's dating my sister...)

"Thank you, Harry."

"No, I can do it. I need to do it. She can't beat me, I have greater motivation!" argued Malfoy.

"But why do you even want something like that? Tell me what do you need such an enormous couch for? I think her living room is okay the way it is."

Wait, what? A couch?

"No it's not. It's my favourite couch and I want it there!"

"And I keep telling you it would break the walls! Just leave it in the Manor!" snapped Hermione.

"No, and that's final. If it won't fit, I'll just have to buy a new flat. Or better yet, a new house. I can't live with you in the Manor with my parents, anyway, so let's do just that!" and he flashed a dazzling smile at her.

She sighed. "How did it turn out like this? I don't have any intention moving anywhere just yet."

"That was way too sudden proposition, Malfoy," Ginny joined in the conversation. "Wait at least two days till you ask again and she... oi! What are you doing?"

"Hitting you for stupid ideas!" Hermione looked half angry half embarrassed. Hmm... What does that mean?

"Granger, stop denying it, we can all see you want to. That 'just yet' is the proof. He asks two more times and you're looking for a house," grinned Parkinson.

"That's so not true!" She blushed furiously.

...And so, two weeks later, they moved into a fancy little villa a few minutes away from London. (With a living room big enough to fit Malfoy's beloved sofa.)

And I... well, thanks to this incident I realised that Parkinson was right and I really do think only about sex.

But I don't think that's really a problem, is it?