The next morning erupted into chaos, beginning with me waking to my governess's scream. Over the next few months, I was questioned and kept under close guard as the entire castle looked tirelessly for their heir. But Len had hidden himself well or had gone far, for he was not found. Rumors escalated and I was well scrutinized and petted as they realized I was the remaining heir. Eventually the searches ceased and Len was pronounced gone. I kept his ring well hidden; only bringing it out to look at when I missed him most, usually at night.

Time moves slowly for a child. Days seem like months, months; years, years; ages. I too looked for my twin. He was every boy my age. He was the flash of yellow in the corner of my eye. I looked for him every time a door opened, every time I heard someone laugh. I would gaze out the window for hours, erupting into fits if disturbed. But as the days, months, then years ticked by, I stopped looking for him. But I missed him no less.

It was an ache always present, that even in the happiest of time was always there, as a reminder that he wasn't. In the worst moments, I was seized by darkness, by feelings of complete solitude and emptiness, that I could barely control myself. I'd find somewhere alone where I could grieve, sobbing and clutching onto every memory I had left. I never lost faith he would return, but as I grew older, it became harder to think of it.

In my mind I would imagine it. Him appearing out of nowhere, smiling as if he had never left. Or being returned to me by some wonderful stranger, who realized who he was and where he belonged. I thought of it a million times, all different, but almost all the same. Always he would return to me whole and perfect, with a smile and words of happiness on his lips.

I grew older to my own surprise, losing baby teeth and growing taller. With each change noted I wondered the same of him. Had he too lost his last tooth? Was he growing bigger, as I was? I pictured him as I grew, examining myself in the mirror, trying to imagine my face as more masculine, with the same eyes and coloring, but different.

When our father died from disease, our mother followed soon after. Unexpectedly, I didn't feel the same way I did when Len left. Sure, our parents paid me little attention, even when I was named heir, but I always loved them. I felt loss, but it was nowhere near the wound in me from my twin.

Puberty shocked me, not only for being warned little after my mother had died, but also with realization. Realization that Len had been gone for so long, and that somewhere, he looked different then I did. When he left, we were the same. Short and skinny, flat chests and short blond hair. Now I developed curves and breasts, and felt loss.

The day I realized this, I looked into the mirror and was angry. Angry that he had not returned, that so much time was gone. Angry we weren't the same. And maddened, I grabbed a pair of sewing shears and cut off my hair, grown long after Len had left. Now my hair was as short as his was, only long enough for a small ponytail like he always wore. In this way, we would be the same. Short, glossy blond hair.

I smiled to myself in the glass and felt thrilled at the gasps of servants and ladies in waiting. They were horrified, for a woman's pride was her long hair. But now it laid in choppy pieces, the longest to my chin. And although there were great protests, I grasped that they could not make me grow it out again. I was filled with the feeling of power for the first time. And I smiled to myself still. No longer would I be their pawn. And when Len returned, he wouldn't be as well.

I had grown bitter and somewhat spoiled over the years, furious with everyone for not being Len, and for ultimately driving him away. They were all at fault in my mind, and I was completely Id, only desiring to have my wants fulfilled with no sense of moral. All I wanted was my brother, but I could not have him, they could not give him to me. And with the feeling of power, my temperament grew worse.

By age seventeen, I was a lady and a princess. Groomed and educated in all "important" things, I knew how to command a room, stitch, and talk and walk quietly. I was an accomplished dancer, singer, and could play the lute. I wore fine clothes, talked elegantly, and was established in mathematics, writing, reading, and geography. But I knew nothing.

Because of my young age, I was still a Princess, not yet a queen. I would be crowned as such at the age of eighteen, and until then would remain a "daughter" of our country rather than a "mother." Inwardly, I wondered if they were still holding out hope that Len would return. I had no care for politics, economics, or social conduct. I held only disgust in the court and anyone who was overly kind to me, as to win my favor. Those were the ones I hated, for those were the ones who had surely whispered about me and my brother.

The day started with a disturbance.

"Please, may you send something to the western city? There is a drought and the crops-"

I yawned. I felt for the people, but they all bored me so, so much. And every time I tell the chancellor to send them something, they always come back.

I stood, interrupting the woman's speech. I gazed at her for a moment. She was taller than I, but not statuesque. She had brown hair clipped close, and a very curvy figure with a large chest. I felt myself grow warmer in embarrassment for staring, so I turned away.

"Chancellor, handle it." I directed, and began to walk across the tiled floors to the door, my ladies trailing behind me.

"Wait!" The red woman called after me. I heard footsteps and turned to see the guards rushing to restrain the woman, who had begun to follow me in pursuit. She struggled against their hold.

"You have to help us! They're starving and-" she was cut off, muffled by a guard. I stepped back hesitantly.

She had a desperate look in her eyes. They seemed to struggle as her body did, and her whole form radiated a strong emotion almost like anger. I bit my lip and grasped a fold of my dress, lavender today.

Swallowing dryly, I licked my lips. "Please, just deal with her." I said shakily. That something in her eyes reminded me of the one thing I did not want to think of.

I rushed out of the room, throwing my arm back to halt my company.

"I want to be alone!" I commanded. Apart from a single guard, they dispersed as I fled.

My tears blurred my vision as I passed open windows, windows that let the fresh air that rolled off the fields in. The green and blue of the sky blurred together as I glanced through them while passing.

Once I arrived in my room, I closed the door firmly, pushing my weight against the glossy indents of the wood so I could latch the iron lock.

I leaned against the door, breathing heavily. I commanded myself to calm, I could not keep getting worked up over every little thing. Calm, calm, I thought, as my brother used to. Eventually I gained control over myself and stood. Kicking off my bothersome slippers, I dug my toes into the thick carpet, relishing the feel of it.

The carpet was actually a gift from the prince of the neighboring blue country, Prince Kaito. Although we had never met, he had sent this as a gift for my birthday almost two years ago, my sixteenth. Although it had faded a bit since then, I loved it. It was primarily gold and rose, and depicted the sea at sunset with a border of yellow roses, my favorite despite their rarity.

I walked across said carpet to my window seat, carefully setting myself down on the russet pillows. The sun was still high in the sky.

A knock at my locked door startled me. I padded across the room quietly and slipped on my shoes before opening the door. A very distressed servant stood there, a look of disdain etched deep into his face. I recognized him; he was one of the many castle keepers who were in charge of all the servants and the household. He sniffed haughtily when he saw me. Inside, I felt something harden in anger, for I knew that all the servants thought me weak for my unwillingness to perform all of my responsibilities and for running off when distressed.

"Mistress, a boy is here, sent to become a serving-man." He announced. I wrinkled my nose and opened the door a little further.

"What is that my business? Hire whomever is needed." I was hardly bothered with these things; I wasn't usually consulted about anything, especially not mere servants.

He sighed as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders. "I would, Princess, but he demands to be seen by you before being hired!" he leaned closer and hissed; "And he demands it alone, your highness. I think it is a plot! I would turn him away, but we need the help for the ball…"

I sighed and straightened. I highly doubt it was an assassin or some other suspect. Maybe, I thought wryly, it was some man who had heard of my immense beauty. This caused some stifled laughter in me, further confusing the distressed man.

I cleared my throat and stood tall. "Send him here. I will meet with him in private." At least it would be some sort of entertainment, I decided. The man gaped, but nodded. He backed away respectfully and I closed the door. I sat back down, and idly wondered how long it would take.

I glanced across the room to the door. Nothing. Next to the door, the light from the window shone on the crème and gold wallpaper. It was embossed with roses and quite pretty in the light, but I sighed and let my eyes travel idly across the room.

A large, four post oak bed, complete with yellow comforters and pillows. My writing desk, a large mirror, and a matching oak wardrobe lined the walls. I yawned slightly and turned my head to the window. Down below was an expansive garden, a large marble wall, then faintly across the fields, a village. Lining the outline of the plain village was a strip of shining blue: the sea.

I loved the sea, but hadn't been there since I was little. No time anymore, and after Len's disappearance, I haven't been out of the castle at all. To keep me safe and all that. But I loved to play in it before. To run along the warm, damp sand, with Len trailing behind me. He loved to crouch over and scan the beach for smooth rocks, shell, and other treasures. After finding a few, he would run to show me, and together we would examine them. To wade into the water and feel the cool water on your legs, I always thought that was the feeling of freedom.

So absorbed in my thoughts did I not notice the first knock at my door. Startled, I composed myself, and turning back to the window, called:

"Enter." I stared out the window, feeling that same tingle of excitement I felt before a ball. I heard the door close behind me but didn't turn. I wanted to appear careless and powerful to this bold stranger. I smiled to myself as I reached out to pick up my fan from my side.

"Rin."

My hand halted, my heart pounded. Frozen, I replayed that sound again and again in my mind. Was it my imagination? A memory? It couldn't be.

I turned swiftly, forgetting composure. My eyes met the man before me, and I inhaled swiftly.

He smiled, a small smile that I could have recognized anywhere.

A/N

Woo! Chapter two~ I changed the title cuz I didnt like the other one~

Not much to say except I promise the story will get going now... Mostly been backstory, ya know?

Anyways~

SheWhoLeavesCrappyReviews~

That sucks! I'll be ehading off to college in the fall, and i hope our internet isn't weird... But thanks! I'm glad you like it ^^

Len has always been clever ;D Rin will be a mix... She will still be kind of evil, but there will be more reason behind it... So kinda the best of both worlds!

Thank you TAT youre so sweet! I look forward to hearing what you think!

So thanks for reading, see y'all next week!