Finally the election was over and America could relax again. He leaned back in his chair, tired and worn out from all of the campaigning. He went back and forth between the two parties, carefully observing both candidates from afar. When the president was re-elected, America shook the eager man's hands and congratulated him about a thousand times. He then went to the losing party and offered his sympathy. Although the man had no idea he was talking to a personification of his own country.
America sighed as he dully watched the television before him, still going on and on about the recent election. He finally opted to change the channel to an episode of Spongebob. He laughed tirelessly to himself as he half watched the crazy antics of the underwater cartoon characters. Although he suddenly felt sad again as he watched Spongebob and his friend Patrick bask in their completely platonic friendship. Why couldn't Canada and England be as down to do some goofing off? The two were way too uptight for their own good. America watched for a few more minutes when he finally grew bored of the entire thing.
"Fuck it," he mumbled as he got out of his chair. "I'll call England." America walked over to his phone and pressed the speed dial for England. The phone rang a few times when somebody finally answered.
"Da?" A thick Russian accent greeted him. Oh shit he must have pressed speed dial for Russia! What to do? He had no desire to force a conversation with the much larger nation. America hung up the phone. Russia probably won't care right? America then manually dialed in the number for England and waited for him to pick up.
"Hello?" He heard a familiar British voice pick up.
"Hey dude." America greeted.
"Hey America." He almost groaned.
"I just called to see what you were up to." America quietly asked.
"Well actually nothing-BEEP!" The Brit was cut off by a beeping on America's phone.
"Hang on man I have a call on the other line." He pressed the flash button. "Hello?"
"Ah hey Amerika, did you just call me?" Russia curiously asked. America contorted his face out of confusion. Did Russia actually just call him back?
"Um yeah, sorry about that. Accidently pressed the speed dial for you and-"
"Are you playing games with me?" The Russian abruptly asked. America stared at the phone for a moment.
"Um, excuse me?"
"You are playing with me." Russia stated plainly. America wasn't sure on how to compute that.
"No! Russia I was trying to call England and-"
"I do not like being messed with Amerika." America shivered at the tone of Russia's voice. What was that guy's problem? All he did was hang up on him! Okay, well actually that was a little rude but it wasn't like he intentionally called Russia just to do that. Before America could say anything else to the disturbed nation, he heard another beep.
"Hang on I have a call on the other line!" Before Russia could protest America pressed the flash button again. "Hey sorry-"
"Why did you bother to call me if you were just going to put me on hold you twit?" England questioned flustered.
"It wasn't purposeful! Russia called me and-"
"Wait, Russian called you?"
"Well I called him first and-"
"Wait, you called Russia?" America was getting sick of everyone cutting him off.
"Yeah but not purposely! I pressed the speed dial button for you but it connected me to Russia!" He quickly explained.
"Well did you just explain to him you pressed the wrong number?"
"No…I kinda just hung up on him. And now he's accusing me of playing with him or something." America realized how dumb that actually sounded. He should have just told Russia it was an accident. England sighed.
"Put me back on hold and just try to explain it as nicely as you can. You shouldn't mess with Russia, the man has problems." England talked to America like he was a colony again.
"But I'm not messing with him I'm just-BEEP! Great it's him again. Hang on a moment."
"Right."
"Hello?" America meekly answered.
"Bonjour America!" A completely French not Russian voice greeted him.
"France?" America was baffled. "Why are you at Russia's house?"
"What? I'm not at Russia's house you fool! What gave you that preposterous idea?"
"Well Russia was on hold and now-"
"Wait, you were talking on the phone with Russia?" France interrupted.
"No, well, yes but I called him and-"
"Wait, you called Russia?" The Frenchmen interjected again. America sighed out of frustration and banged his head against the wall.
"Well yeah, but by accident and then he called me back and-" America paused for a moment. "Wait, why did you call me?"
"To congratulate you on the election of course!" The Frenchmen answered all too excitedly. America raised a brow.
"Um thanks."
"You're welcome."
"If you are looking for my boss to do something for your boss, have him call him." America was short. France had a problem with asking for favors in a sneaky way. It had gotten to the point where the country had to be outright with him.
"Oh," France frowned. "So may I ask what's going on with Russia?"
"No." America then hung up on the Frenchman and sighed. The phone rang again causing him to jump. "Hello?!"
"Did you forget I was on hold?" His former caretaker growled.
"Oh yeah sorry about that."
"Look America you need to be more responsible with the way you handle things. When I was your age-"
"Yeah yeah you were a pirate or something. Iggy, I got it under control don't worry about it."
"Well," England coughed obviously not appreciating America's rudeness. "So you settled everything with the brute then?"
"Not exactly. He kinda just hung up so I assume he got over it." England did a face palm but chose not to say anything else on the manner.
"So why did you call again?"
"Oh to see if you had any plans for today..You know so we could maybe, hang out?" Why did America feel like he was asking a date for the prom?
"Oh," England coughed. "I don't know about that America, I'm awfully busy and-"
"You just said you had nothing going on." The blond man deadpanned.
"Yes but, I'm going to work on my garden today." England quickly hashed out.
"Oh really? You're going to work on your garden?"
"Mmhm, got some nice flowers to plant."
"In November?" America wasn't as stupid as England thought him to be.
"Erm, yes. Nice time to do it."
"Come on Iggy! This isn't fair, don't blow me off!" America whined.
"I am not blowing you off!" The Brit quickly countered.
"Certainly feels like it." The younger nation huffed. England clucked his tongue actually feeling bad for coming up with a weak excuse like that. But who could blame him? America was just too immature sometimes and England felt too old around him.
"Look America, not today, but how about another day?"
The American quickly perked up. "Well actually if you want to do it another day, I have a specific date in mind."
"What for?"
"November 30th, two words for you Iggy-Time Warp!" America was giddy now. England laughed quietly.
"Oh no way America, we're too old for that."
"Dude! You're never too old for the Rocky Horror Picture Show!" The American insisted.
"God, we have not done that since the 70's. I don't even know where my costume is anymore." England lied. He knew perfectly well where it was. Hidden deep in the depths of his trunk to never be found, something like that would be great black mail.
"Don't you want to live every once in awhile?" The man pleaded. England sighed.
"I'll think about it."
"Cool, I'm going to see if I can find my costume. It has to be here somewhere."
"Right," England paused for a moment. "Well I better let you go America."
"Yeah those flowers aren't going to plant themselves." The American retorted. England rolled his eyes and hung up the phone.
Well, at least he was going to think about it. America was excited about the show, but for the time being he was bored now. What to do? Maybe Canada wasn't so busy. Then again, America didn't want to fight with the phone again. He ditched the idea and strolled down to his den. He had always envisioned having friends over, playing a game of pool, knocking back a few drinks. But that idea never did take. America flopped on his old beaten up leather sofa. He's had that sofa for God knows how long, but kept it out of sentimental value. It was comfortable anyway, even if the untrained eye could spot the yellow stuffing popping out of the cushion.
God, was owning a nice house supposed to be a reminder that he was always alone? He had several rooms, all decked out with new furniture and freshly painted. But what was the use of it if he had no one to share it with? America eyed the bar he had installed in the corner and sighed. He really hated resorting to drinking alone, but it looked like it was going to be one of those nights. The man walked up to his bar and poured himself a shot of vodka.
"Vodka," America laughed before taking the shot. "Russia's water." He then took the shot, and another, and another. Oddly enough, the person on his mind now was the Russian.
XXX
The Russian was frustrated. Does America find this funny? He didn't know, but he wanted to understand. The larger nation slammed the phone loudly. Why was he doing this? What did it mean? He eyed his pipe in the corner of his kitchen, gleaming beautifully as the little sunlight peaked its way through his blinds. He chewed his lower lip, should he just beat the stuffing out of him? The Russian needed a second opinion, so he picked up the almost broken phone and dialed an old friend's number.
"Um, hello?" The Lithuanian man stuttered after a few rings.
"Ah, Lithuania, how are you?" Russia's fake cheeriness seeped through the other line. It made Lithuania shudder.
"Hahahaha I'm doing great R-Russia! And yourself?" The man was scared shitless. Russia smirked to himself proud to know that he still had that kind of effect on people.
"Not so well friend, I called you for a matter of opinion." The Russian stated.
"Oh?" Lithuania was confused. What kind of advice could he possibly give?
"Yes, I am having problems with someone." Russia never tore his gaze away from his pipe and clenched his fist. Fucking America.
"Who?" Lithuania hesitantly asked.
"For the sake of this not getting out, let's keep them anonymous."
"Alright, well what's your problem with them?" The Lithuanian pressed. Russia huffed.
"It's a long story, but they kissed me off guard." Russia's face turned red and he almost felt his anger melting. Lithuania was silent for a moment.
"They what?" Who in their right mind would kiss Russia? He was so mentally unstable and scary! Lithuania felt sick at the thought.
"Yes, and now I am having problems with them."
"Are you with them?" Was Russia asking Lithuania for relationship advice? Are pigs flying?
"No," Russia spat. "I do not have any feelings for them."
"Oh," They were lucky then. "Then what's the problem?"
"They called me today, and hung up. When I called back they made an excuse and put me on hold." Lithuania didn't say anything and Russia continued. "I do not know why, but it fills me with rage. This person has not said a word about the whole thing since it happened. They act as though I am invisible, and it makes me want to go down there and beat them with my pipe until they can't move anymore. You see my dilemma da?"
"Yes, I do." Lithuania was shaking. "Do you think they have feelings for you?"
"I do not know."
"Well Russia, perhaps this person is afraid of rejection. Maybe they play it off as nothing happened because they do not want to get hurt." Lithuania could relate to that feeling. His sweet Belarus outright rejects him and treats him as nothing but dirt. He still loved her though.
"Do you think that is why they called?"
"Could be. Are they the type to not show vulnerabilities?"
"Come to think of it, no." America was rather arrogant and haughty. When the other nations made fun of him he would blow it off, laugh. He wasn't the type to just bawl like a baby.
"Well there you go!" Lithuania beamed.
"Another question before I let you go." Russia needed to understand something else.
"Yes?"
"Why can't I stop thinking about it?" Russia held his breath for a moment. "The kiss?"
"Erm well," Lithuania felt incredibly awkward. "Is there a chance you might have feelings for them and don't want to admit it?"
"Me having feelings for them would be absolutely ridiculous." Russia snapped.
"May I ask why?" Lithuania was curious even if he was terrified of the man.
"They're dumb, and loud mouthed and rude! They act so confident too, but I can see through it. They're really not that sure of themselves. I see the second guesses running through their brain like a hamster through a wheel. As impulsive as they are, they're just-just…scared."
"Do you think kissing you was an impulsive move that they're now scared of?" Lithuania was great at playing therapist. It was spending years with the madman that trained him well for that sort of thing though. Russia was silent for a moment or so before speaking up again.
"I guess so." Russia deflated. "What does that have to do with me possibly having feelings for them though?"
"Russia, this person charted on personal territory. You are used to having control, but now this person is controlling your feelings. What I am trying to say is that you have developed feelings for this individual because they opened a new door for you. They have done something most would never dare to do, and there is a high chance, they sincerely meant it. Don't let this person get away! Something like love doesn't happen often for us nations, and it's really special when it does. Confront them." Lithuania was getting swept up in his own personal romance problems. "And no matter what, keep pursuing it! Even if they resist, or call you names or whatever. Eventually they will have to see right?" Like Belarus, she would come to him eventually.
"I have never thought of it that way, thank you."
"Not a problem, tell me how it goes." Lithuania couldn't stop thinking of Belarus now. He felt so entranced by his own emotions he had not realized what he had done.
"I will good bye." Russia gently hung up the phone and leaned back in his chair. Him and America together? That was laughable. Yet he felt butterflies at the thought, and smiled to himself. He got up and grabbed his pipe, time to confront a certain American.
XXX
Lithuania sighed to himself as he hung up the phone. Poland who was sitting on his couch stared at him critically.
"Like, what was that about?" Lithuania joined his friend back on his couch and chuckled to himself dreamily.
"Just Russia asking for advice." The man leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Maybe he would call Belarus later. Poland quirked a brow.
"About?"
"Oh just about romance." Lithuania answered nonchalantly. The Polish country fell over.
"Like no way!" He then clamored back on the couch. "Give me the nasty little details!"
Lithuania opened an eye and faced his friend. "He wouldn't tell me who. But somebody kissed him or something. I think I gave him pretty good advice."
"Aw man just a kiss? Nothing else? Well did he at least give you any clue on who it was?"
"Just somebody who is loud mouthed, rude, and dumb." Lithuania sat up and grabbed an apple out of a basket on the table. Poland cocked his head.
"Hm, that doesn't seem like Russia's type."
"Love is a funny thing." Lithuania took a bite of his apple.
"Yeah yeah whatever. I got better gossip anyway." Poland watched Lithuania eat his apple for a moment. "Well don't you like want to hear it?"
"I guess." Lithuania shrugged. Poland giddily leaned in.
"Okay so, at the last world meeting I was up late watching some terrible French show when I heard a ruckus. When I went to check it out, guess who I saw drunker than skunk?"
"Who?" Lithuania asked disinterested. Poland ignored him and went on.
"America! He was totally bothering Russia too! It was hilarious to watch him try and have a conversation with him!" Poland laughed for a moment as Lithuania just stood there. The man quickly spit out his apple. "Ew! What's your problem?"
"Oh dear God, what have I done?!" Lithuania quickly dropped the apple and ran back to his phone.
"What are you like doing?" Poland was confused.
"I need to call America and warn him!" Lithuania only hoped to God he would reach the man in time. Little did he know, or even begin to fathom, what he had done.
XXX
AN: That's all Folks! I wasn't going to update but after getting review number 10 today, I was like: Why not? I know I promised my other readers I was going to update my other story, it's just hard with all of the school work I have. Both this story and Precious Birds had half a chapter written out, this one just got updated first because it so happens to be on my desktop opposed to my netbook. I will update Precious Birds once break hits…My finals are rearing their ugly heads and I have to study like a madman.
Anyhoo, anyone here a fan of Rocky Horror? I am! Even if it's, well, terrible. That's half the charm. Can you imagine England and America dressed up as one of the characters? If any of you don't know what Rocky Horror Picture Show is, go watch it immediately! It's awesome! The Shadowcast does live performances and the fans go dressed up and bring props to participate, its fun.
Oh, I also wanted to clarify a confusion a reader had with chapter one. The elevator scene was a fantasy Russia had, it never actually happened. I can see why you got confused though, I probably would have too. Sorry about that.
Look like America is in for it! R&R!
