The Unexpected ch 2 J
Yay I finally have a functioning computer or laptop lolz. Since everybody found this story funny I will have to change the theme to comedy I guess lol. Well you guys already know the warnings so on with the disclaimer.
DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING! I CRY ABOUT THIS EVERY NIGHT I WANT AN ENVY PLUSHIE!
CH 2 Doctor's Visit'
"ENVY GOTDAMMIT COME OUT OF THE BATHROOM!" Ed shouted while banging on the bathroom door which Envy had locked after his visit with the porcelain Gods."FUCK OFF CHIBI!" was the twice as loud reply Ed punched the door again only leaving knicks in the painted white wood. Winry had woken up by then and was stomping out of the guestroom with a sour look on her face, "SHUT THE FUCK UP DAMN IT I WANNA SLEEP FOR ANOTHER 10 MINUTES JERKS!" she screamed throwing her wrench at Ed's golden blonde head. Where she kept the wrench was anyones guess.
A loud clang confirmed a direct hit, and a knocked out Ed on the floor. Envy opened the door and looked out to see his boyfriend out cold with a small bump on the back of his head. He smirked and slithered out of the bathroom and towards their room, he shut the door and laid down on the bed. But he hadn't closed his eyes for 2 minutes when he was hoisted over the shoulder of Alphonse, "PUT ME DOWN CHIBI-TEME!" Envy howled.
"No can do Envy-san"
"OH SO NOW YOU ARE GONNA START WITH THE DAMN FORMALITES HUH?"
Envy was beyond irate, he was completely furious. He thrashed and kicked in his boyfriend's younger brother's grip even biting on Al's ear to get him to loosen his grip.
But the younger Elric wouldn't even twitch, then the homunculus got an idea.
Al was walking towards the front door when a bright flash of light blew across the left side of his vision. And then he felt something run across his shoulder and past him he turned around to see a black cat with brilliant purple eyes looking at him with complete mirth written in the dark irises. "ENVY DON'T BROTHER WANTS YOU TO GO TO THE DOCTORS!" Al shouted making a move to grab Envy before he could make a run for it.
But the black cat was already on the move bolting up the stairs and out of sight, but being one not to give up till he wasn't breathing Al slammed his palms down on the ground. And then he felt the horrible tingling as The Gate took something from his body or equivalent exchange as many alchemists preferred to call it. A giant hand flew out of the hard wood and up the stairs, he heard a yowl of anger then the hand retracted back to him in its wooden fingers was Envy.
"Bastard"
"Sorry Envy-san"
"Just hurry up and take me to this damn butcher in sheep's clothing!"
Al released Envy from the hand, and escorted him down the front steps and towards the taxi Ed had called for them. Ed was glaring at his boyfriend from his seat in the taxi while Envy merely sat there holding his belly. He didn't feel good again and hoped Ed wouldn't pick a fight till they got to the doctor's office, when the pulled up Edward paid the driver and dragged Envy into the clinic.
"You know Envy we wouldn't of had to go through all of that if you just would of come out of the damn bathroom idiot" Ed grumbled while still pulling said sin by his arm with Al and a pissed off Winry in toe. Envy sat down while Ed went to the secretary, "Excuse me I have an appointment for an Envy Elric" the woman looked up from his magazine "Huh?" she asked Edward's face turned red "I SAID I have an appointment for Envy Elric at 10:00 today!" then aww came over the lady's face "Oh yes that's right, you're couple that has an appointment with Dr. Zita Hamilton correct?" he nodded glaring at her.
"Ok then she will see you right now follow me" she got up from her seat walking toward the double doors Ed motioned with his hands for the others to follow him. They walked into the first office door on the right, Al sat down, Winry stood in the corner while Ed stood beside Envy who sat on the examination table. They waited for a five minutes till a short woman in her late 20's opened the door, she was very pretty with a dark tanned complexion, soft brown eyes and long flowing dark brown hair.
"Hello, I'm Dr. Hamilton but you can just call me Zita" she said flashing a lovely smile, Envy spoke up first "Hurry up and examine me so I can go home!" he snapped Zita nodded not seeming to be affected by his rude behavior.
She examined his head first, then his arms, then his chest, then his legs finding nothing wrong with any of them she moved back up to his stomach. Envy felt the woman stiffen when she reached his abdomen the place where he was having the most trouble.
"Um ok well I did feel something in there, but I don't want to alarm you I don't think its anything serious but just to be sure I will need a blood sample" she said picking a syringe from the table. Zita held his arm and then pushed the small needle into his skin drawing out the dark crimson life force. "Alright that's about it, so explain the symptoms to me" Ed spoke up "He's thrown up for a week now, and he gets to tired" Envy sent daggers towards his lover but then he blanched. His face turned the same color of his namesake and he ran out of the room and towards the nearest bathroom.
"Hmm alright nausea, and tiredness, well I think its just a virus nothing more but I still needed a blood sample just in case" Zita said writing the conversation down on her clip board. "Alright doc so when will the results be in?" Ed asked Zita put her clip board down "In about a few days, I will have Janette make you another appointment for Thursday, is that ok or do you need another day?" he shook his head.
Zita took her leave but not before giving Ed a prescription that would ease Envy's nausea, not holding it back entirely but would at least leave him his dinner. When they walked out of the office and into the hall they found said sin on the ground, with his back against the wall rubbing his lower stomach with a greenish tint in his features.
"You ok koi?" Ed asked crouching down to look Envy in the eyes.
"Do I LOOK alright to you?"
"Stupid question sorry"
"Shove it! Now get me home before I throw up on you!"
Ed helped Envy to his feet, the sin made sure to lean his entire weight on the blonde so if he did throw up, the full metal pipsqueak would get the whole bucket load.
"Ed I can't believe you!" Winry snapped her blue eyes narrowed
Said blonde looked up from caring for his lover to see fiery baby blues looking at him with almost pure hate written the irises. Then a fist flew connecting with the side of the blonde's skull, sending him and Envy smashing to the side of the cab that Al had hailed for the group.
"WHAT THE HELL WINRY?"
"STUPID BLONDE BITCH YOU TRYING TO SEND US PERMENTLY TO THE HOSPITAL?"
Winry huffed and puffed, you could actually see the steam coming out of her nose. (A/N. Imagine Winry mixed with a bull)
"MAYBE YOU CORNER WHORE! BUT NOT ED I LOVE HIM!"
Ed blinked repeatedly "You love me?"
"Yes I love you! MORE THEN THE SLUT HERE DOES THAT HE THREATNES TO THROW UP ON YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU ASKED IF HE WAS ALRIGHT HE IS SO FUCKING UNGRATFUL!"
"Winry-chan you need to calm down!" Al shouted
"No I WILL NOT CALM DOWN THAT WHORE NEEDS TO BE KNOCKED DOWN A COUPLE PEGS!" she shrieked
Al grabbed a hold of Winry pinning her to the pavement, "Brother you and Envy-san head home I'm gonna handle Winry" Ed nodded loading his sick boyfriend into the back seat of the cab slamming the door closed.
"Go" he ordered the driver who looked beyond pissed at Winry for denting his cab with her crush and his lover's bodies.
"That's some friend you got back there!"
"She's just mad, she'll come around later and sorry I'll pay for the damage sir"
"Hmph fine, now where to?"
"87 Wetstone Road please"
The driver nodded, drove to the set destination.
They pulled up to the large townhouse apartment, Ed got out first handing the driver his pay. Then he hooked Envy arm around his neck then he put his own arm around his boyfriend's waist. "You think you can eat anything? I know you couldn't eat breakfast since you just ended up throwing it back up" the green haired homunculus shrugged as Ed sat him down on the couch.
"I think so, but wont know till I try"
"Yeah but I don't want you throwing up again"
"If I throw up, I throw up chibi now SHUT UP AND GET ME SOMETHING TO EAT NOW DAMMIT!" Envy growled.
Ed made a sound that resembled a mouse squeaking in terror as he bolted for the kitchen. 'What the hell, he was fine now he's having mood swings!' Ed squeaked in his head as he prepared a small salad for Envy knowing the sin didn't care to much for meat.
But when he returned with the salad for his koi, the homunculi growled at the plate.
"Something wrong, you always liked the salad I made?"
"I don't want salad! Go upstairs in my drawer there is bag bring it here!"
The blonde ran quickly up the stairs went into their bedroom, he opened the drawer Envy had described. He pulled out a leather bag, he opened the bag a little and his eyes got wide 'Where the hell did he get these I thought he didn't need these anymore?' he shook his head and went back down the stairs and entered the living room.
But he saw Envy no where in sight he blinked "Envy?" he called but no answer. Nothing but silence that is till he heard the sound of sharp teeth tearing into raw meat. He ran into the kitchen and almost lost his breakfast, "ENVY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EATING?" Envy looked up from his meal which happened to be tomorrow's dinner. A plate of raw beef, the sin looked at it "Obviously beef" Ed's left eyebrow twitched "I AM AWARE OF THAT BUT YOU'RE EATING IT RAW AND SINCE WHEN DO YOU EVEN LIKE MEAT!" Envy shrugged.
"Don't know, don't care I got a craving for it, and guess what I couldn't ignore it"
"Ugh go wash your hands! And why do you still have philosopher stones?"
"You're buddy Dr. Marcoh gave them to me, he said I probably would need them and guess what he was right because besides the meat I've been craving stones"
"Well the stones I kinda get but you've never liked meat and all of sudden that's what you want to eat, those results need to get in soon so we can figure out what's going on inside you're stomach that would make you want that!"
Envy grabbed the bag from the blonde dumped a couple of the small ruby stones onto a plate and began chewing them as if his life depended on it.
When the stones were gone he went back to eating the almost gone raw meat. He ignored the blonde as he stared at him dumbfounded. "Take a picture it will last longer" he muttered around a large chunk of the bleeding flesh. When the bloody mess was gone and down inside the sin's belly he sat back against the chair rubbing his lower stomach with a smile of pure satisfaction on his lips.
"Wow…."
"Shut it"
"Just-ugh I can not believe you just sat there and ate all of that raw beef nasty"
Envy licked his lips to remove most of the dried blood, he then sat up but he felt dizzy and sat back down. "Ha I wouldn't be surprised if eating that beef made you dizzy! And if you throw up I swear Envy!" but his words were on deaf ears.
The sin groaned as he tried to clear the black spots dancing about his vision, "Ed-chibi I seriously don't feel good knock it off" he whispered.
Envy tried to get up again and succeeded this time, he walked past his lover and up the stairs. Ed followed him worry etched almost permantly into his features. The green haired homunculus leaned against the wall his palm pressed to his middle as he felt nausea churn strongly sending bile up his throat.
"Chibi get me a buc-bu-bu-buket!"
Ed ran into the bathroom grabbed the wastebasket, he ran back out and gave it to his boyfriend. The sin took it gratefully, the blonde plugged his ears as Envy stomach gave a sickening gurgle and he burped lightly and his lunch made a encore appearance. The sin gagged quietly while trying to keep some of his meal inside his body.
"Envy"
Another heave shook the older boy's frame but finally after there was nothing left for his stomach to expel. Envy let the vomit filled container drop to the floor the pile of sick stained the carpet.
"Bed now!"
"Bu-bu-but" he moaned weakly as the blonde guided him to their bedroom. "No buts" Ed growled as he pushed the sin into bed.
"Get some sleep alright"
"Fine"
"Ok now, I'm gonna go get you some water"
Envy nodded rolling over so he could see the alchemist's back as he descended down the stairs. Just as Ed's feet touched the bottom of the stairs Al and Winry walked into the house, he could feel the hostility coming from Winry she was still mad.
"Hey Al, Winry"
"Hi brother, how's Envy?"
"Hmph who cares about the whore"
"Winry! You PROMISED you would behave"
"I didn't promise a damn thing Alphonse"
"Anyways how is Envy brother?"
"He's got sick again after he ate….." Ed trailed off not wanting to tell his baby brother of Envy's strange taste in food as it is.
"After he ate what?"
"…."
"Brother come on it couldn't of been that bad"
"ED-OTAKU JUST TELL US!" Winry howled
"HE ATE RAW MEAT!
Both Al and Winry stared at him, eyes wide mouths open.
"He ate what?
"Raw meat…" Ed shuddered at the memory of Envy devouring the bleeding corpse.
"DISGUSTING!"
"Yeah we get it Winry shut up"
"WHO ARE YOU TELLING TO SHUT-!"
"Winry enough get over it already ok? Brother loves Envy not you!" Al said calmly.
Winry scowled and stomped off into the living room, all the while pouting. Ed just rolled his golden eyes, while grabbing a glass from the cabinet. He walked over to the sink and filled it up with water.
"You think you can keep Winry out of my hair while I take care of Envy?"
"No problem brother"
"Thanks" and he walked back up the stairs leaving Al alone with the frightening blonde girl in the living room. Well almost all alone when he found Wrath leaning on the couch.
"Hey Wrath-chan"
"Hi"
"How was you're day?"
"It'd been alright if I didn't have to deal with her!" he snapped jabbing his thumb in Winry's direction. "WHAT ABOUT ME? YOU'RE ABOUT AS MUCH OF A WHORE AS THE CUNT UP STAIRS!" ok that was the last straw.
Wrath grabbed Winry's wrist and flung her against the wall, he smiled when she cried out in pain.
"Haha you like that bitch?"
"FUCK YOU!"
"No thanks I don't date dykes"
"PRICK!" (A/N. Winry has a very dirty mouth O_O)
"DON'T YOU EVER SAY MY BROTHER IS A CUNT AGAIN SLUT!" Wrath snarled throwing Winry's butt out the door.
"Hope you like sleeping outside bitch!"
And he slammed the door in Winry's crimson red face, he laughed but he heard the loud footsteps of Ed running down the stairs. "Wrath what the hell did you do to Winry?"
"She called nii-san a cunt"
"SHE DID WHAT?"
"Nii-san don't start yelling is Envy asleep?"
"Yeah"
"Then you don't want to wake him do you? He needs all the sleep he can get from all the throwing up he's been doing"
"Yeah you're right sorry Al"
"Don't apologize to me if Envy's awake again apologize to him"
Edward slumped back up the stairs with Wrath and Al in toe, he opened the bedroom door but to his relief the sin had slept through the whole melee down stairs. He saw Envy was sweating again, and decided, to pull his boyfriends hair back so that it wouldn't cling to him and make his body temperature rise even more.
"I hope Hamilton knows what's up with him"
"Is nii-san going to be ok?" the younger sin asked quietly.
Al put a palm on his head and smiled "Yeah he'll be ok I'm sure of it" (A/N. Ok there's the little tiny winy hint at AlXWrath, there will be more in the next chapter).
The three watched the green haired homunculi through out the night, but much to their displeasure they could here the faint schreechs of a pissed off Winry banging on the front door all night long.
Ok chapter 2
FINALLY I UPDATED THIS FIC!
Ed: You're insane
Envy: Why did you make me eat that gross
Aww poor baby Envy-chan get over it! MY FIC HAHA I GET TO DO WHAT I WANT TO YOU!
Envy: Bitch
Ed: Yep
WHAT WAS THAT?
Envy: Nothing Kenni-senpai
That's what I thought
Ed: Insane
You should of realized that by now Edo
Anyways there it is a bit long I know nah I don't know if it was that long or not, my computer says 9 pages long is that long? Probably not but who cares at least I finally got ch 2 up and out of the oven J Hope you guys enjoy this I spent 2½ months thinking of how this chapter was going to go so if you like it please R&R but be nice if not go flame elsewhere please
Signed
AmyaEnvyElric aka Kenni
