Six months is a lifetime, she thinks as she pulls into a parking stall in front of Cafe Diem. She doesn't have anywhere else to go and she knows there is no better place to announce her return than at the town's social hub.

On one hand she can't believe it's been six months, on the other it feels like it's been an eternity.

Something feels off though. When she steps into the building it's oddly quiet. The mood more subdued than usual and no one rushes up to welcome her home. She doesn't like how well it sits with that sick feeling she's had in the pit of her stomach for months. That nagging feeling that something isn't quite right.

She's not expecting a party to welcome her home. She didn't tell anyone she was coming home to avoid just that, but the tone in the diner is more like a church, or a graveyard...

When she left town she burned her bridges. She hadn't wanted anyone to get in contact with her because she had wanted to go it alone and figure things out. She hadn't needed the added complication of the temptation to return. So she left no way to contact her, and didn't stay in one place for any amount of time. But now she wonders if she should have.

She didn't gain any real insight on her little walkabout. Only the fact that Eureka was home. That she wouldn't actually change anything about where she had ended up. Nothing she had tried in the last six months had made her any happier or feel any more fulfilled than what she had been doing here. When she asked the universe to show her what she was missing it had politely shown her the middle finger and told her she already knew that answer.

It had only taken her a few weeks to realize that there was absolutely nothing that would ever fill that nice little Zane sized hole. She had wanted to hate him for that, for ruining her for any other man, but found that she didn't really care that he had. Just irritation at the separation.

She had wanted to turn around and come home then, but knew he wouldn't exactly be in touch for another five months one week and three days and that he wasn't the only reason she had left anyway. So she had continued on her trip of self discovery.

She's glad she left, she knows that the journey was necessary and it really couldn't have happened at a better time. If she hadn't gone she doubts she would be so happy for Zane's return. So ready for more. So at ease with the idea of actually trying to make it work between them.

What she's not comfortable with is the strange atmosphere she's walked into.

They are supposed to come home today.

She was expecting banners and signs. Welcome Home Astraeus Crew. A party in the works. Something. What greets her is a few people scattered throughout the diner. Most of them minding their own business.

No excitement. No colorful trappings.

Two things happen at the same time. Carter pushes open the diner door and Vincent steps out from the back. Both of them freeze.

Make that three things. Her heart stops.

"Jo..."

"We tried to reach you..."

She waits for it to start again but has this sick feeling that it's not going to be the same when it does. If they say... Maybe it won't start again at all.

She falls into the seat closest to her.

"Don't."

It's all she can say. All she can feel. Somewhere her heart started beating again, steady as always. Unaware that things have changed. Unaware that her breathing is now acting up. Like all the oxygen has been sucked from the room.

"We-" Carter tries again but she holds her hand up to stop him.

She can not hear those words.

Something went wrong. We did what we could. He's gone.

Not after everything. Fate can't be that cruel? Can it?

Has she come home only to find he won't ever be coming home?

Oh, but it can. A million little proverbs float to her mind about seizing the day. Living in the moment. Not taking time for granted. Never knowing how many tomorrows you had. Yes, Fate could be that cruel. It is often that cruel.

Why does she think they are an exception?

She needs a minute. Just a minute. Just enough time to brace herself so that she doesn't fall apart again.

How did she let this happen to her again? Again?

Why?

How is she going to face the rest of life without him? Now that she knows he's necessary for her happiness. Now that she knows what life is like without his damn smile, how is she ever going to make it through another week without it?

It hits her then, that the whole time she was gone she's been counting down to today. Been waiting patiently for him to come back with all that excitement. Stories about his adventures. That little boy smile she can't get enough of and his hungry eyes. She missed those eyes so damn much.

She's been collecting stories of her own to share, about the time she got caught in a bar fight in Kentucky because some hick was getting handsy. Or a Talking Head song on the radio at a diner in Albuquerque. Or that time her car got towed and she had to hoof it into town to find a phone to call a cab to drive her to the impound lot. She never promised to wait, but that's what she's been doing. Waiting to tell him all these little things that remind her. Waiting to tell him about her journey. Waiting to come home to him and fall back into his embrace.

Waiting to tell him she's finally ready and maybe try and convince him to be ready too.

If they tell her she can't...

But she's not running from this. Not anymore. Her world fell in on her once before, if it happens again she'll deal. She doesn't know how, but she's sure she'll find a way to cope. She doesn't need him to define herself, she knows she's never really needed anyone to tell her what to do or who to be. She knows who she is and he's not just another challenge. She doesn't have to prove anything to anyone. She won't fall apart.

But she's really not that eager to test the theory and would prefer he was not missing or no longer able to challenge her.

Carter sits down next to her and Vincent pretends not to listen. Finally she asks.

"What happened?"

All she hears is that he's not dead.

He very well could be for all they know. They have no idea what happened to the shuttle. It could be in a million pieces floating around in space. They may never know what happened.

But she can't think that way.

"We'll find them." She offers.

This time she's not going to let him go. She's going to find him. She's going to bring them back. She's going to tell him what she should have been smart enough to realize before she drove away.

She doesn't care how long it takes. She'll wait.