Chapter 2: Dimitri's POV

DISCLAIMER: Obviously, I don't own anything recognizable. It is a fanfiction, after all.

Rose was uncharacteristically silent. To be honest, it was concerning. Silence never bode well when it came to her, it always meant that there was something upsetting her. Though, given the recent turn of events, it wasn't exactly unexpected.

She sat in the passenger seat, her lips pursed as she leaned against the window. Palms springs went by in a blur, and she took no notice of it. She hadn't even requested to drive. That is how I truly knew that something was troubling her.

The car ride went by in silence. This was both a good and bad thing all at once. For one, Rose was never just completely silent. Whenever she was, there was something terribly wrong. When staring death in the face or going against strigoi, she was always her loud, rambunctious, and talkative self. On the rare occasion that it was quiet, she felt incredibly awkward. Now, instead of feeling awkward she seemed not to notice it. Even though there was an undeniably foreboding feel about this quiet, it was a good opportunity for me to collect my own thoughts on the matter. So, we both were in the car, absorbed by our own minds.

I couldn't let this opportunity (albeit worrisome) pass without somehow taking advantage of it. If I had one complaint about my life together with Rose it would be the fact that I rarely have just pure and simple quiet. Either Rose is initiating conversation, or she has something on to make noise, like the radio or television.

But anyways, I digress.

Initially, my thoughts were of complete and utter joy. Coming from a fairly large, close family, I have always liked the idea of children. I had never dared to think that someday I could have a child of my own, since it is fairly foolish of a simple dhampir to think that. Despite this, I loved it when Karolina had Paul. When I was home from school for holidays or for the summer, I would watch him when my sister went to work.

There is a simple honesty and sincerity in children that is rarely found in adults. They are blunt, and at times rather selfish, but they do everything with unrivaled eagerness and passion. Children are honestly mind boggling to think about. The possibilities of the direction their lives are heading is endless, and just the thought that one person can alter this tiny humans life one way or the other is simply amazing. They have the power to one day do so much good in the world, but also the same amount of evil. Just the idea that I- or anyone, for that matter- could influence another human being like that is beyond description.

But, I could potentially have the power to negatively influence any child- mine or otherwise. It would be a tad bit narcissistic to just make the assumption that I would do only good as a father. The fact still remains that while I have had my mother in my life, my father wasn't that great of a person either. I operate under the assumption that he was not always a terrible human being, and that something had to happen to change his behavior in life. What if that something was the introduction of children into his life? What if the hardships of being a parent made him the drunken idiot that I now see today? And who is to say that the same won't happen to me?

I am a guardian. I am already under the stress that come with always being prepared for the worst, and always being ready to charge into death to protect my charge. Who is to say that this combined with a new baby wouldn't make me snap? Is it even responsible to have a child in this situation, where I leave every day to go to work and know full well that there is a very real chance that I may never come back? And it isn't just me who has to deal with this occupational hazard, but Rose as well. Wouldn't it be irresponsible to bring a child into this world, knowing full well that they could potentially be left without parents? Dhampirs don't live long, and we seemingly have even more bad luck when it comes to dying (even though we were both brought back magically at some point.)

Rose.

I can't picture her ever leaving the guardians to raise a child. Heck, I can barely even picture her with a child. The time that we spent in Clarence's with Daniella and Declan were stressful for her, to say the least. She obviously doesn't know the first thing about taking care of a baby, or anything about children. This was made obvious when I found her in the kitchen making Declan a bottle of milk from a jug, not formula. And when she put his diaper on backwards. And when she set him on the couch instead of his bassinet when she needed to do something. She could always learn, but generally there is some natural instinct (or even just generalized knowledge) to work with.

To be even more practical, there is the fact that we wouldn't be able to hide a child. The world would know that it is ours, and the world would want to know how it is so. There would be a media frenzy, and the kid would be the center of it. I couldn't even guess the extent of the experimentation and medical analysis that would happen.

As an ongoing study in medical (and magical) possibilities, I could say with authority that I wouldn't wish that on any person, let alone a child. Especially mine.

Logically, there are so many things that would make having a child the wrong option. Despite this, there is still the lingering initial joy I felt, even though the facts say that I should feel otherwise.

Just as I pulled into the hotel parking lot, Rose sat up abruptly, a look of determination flashing across her face. "Dimitri?" she said clearly. Looking at me with a look of utter honesty she said "I don't even know if I want to have kids."

Then her look of honesty morphed into an apologetic expression. I schooled my own features, though I didn't really need to as I was reaching this same conclusion by reasoning. She met my eyes, "sorry, but I thought I should probably be upfront about it."

But still, there was that small shred of joy that so desperately wished for it to be otherwise. "I know."

"You know? But-"

"It really wouldn't be a wise decision, would it?" I interrupted her. "As much as I want it to be differently, our lives just aren't able to facilitate having a child right now. There would too many questions asked, and we both are busy as guardians. I unfortunately don't see that changing anytime soon."

Now, she looked a bit stunned. "Oh," she looked more relieved than disappointed. "Yeah, I guess it isn't."

"Did you have a different reasoning?"

"Well, yeah. Mainly I suck when it comes to kids," she dropped her gaze, shuffling in the seat.

"You could learn," the part of me that wanted this voiced. I internally frowned at myself. It is rather self-defeating to say it is a bad idea then in the next breath build up an argument for it.

"Yeah, but that doesn't change the fact that I do really suck at it," she gave me a stern look. "Don't try to deny it, Comrade."

"I won't," I replied breezily. I bite my tongue to stop me from continuing to say that once she learned how, she wouldn't suck, as she puts it.

"Wow," she smiled. Her mood instantly brightened. "I didn't think that this conversation would go over this smoothly. Can we go get burritos for dinner? I am starving."

I couldn't help but grin with her, even though a part of me felt like something was terribly wrong with the situation.

A/N: Yeah, I know I told those of you who reviewed that I was working on an update, and that I was going to update sooner. I'm sorry! I really was working on it, but I just had so much issues with getting this scene right. I originally started to write in Rose's POV, but it just didn't feel right. Then I tried Dimitri's POV, and it still felt forced. I finally produced this, and I am pretty satisfied with this.

To be completely honest with you, I don't really have a long term plan with this story. I don't know where I am going with the plot, other than a few general ideas. If anyone has any suggestions, I would greatly appreciate it!

Thank you everyone for reviewing, following and favoriting! In just one upload, I have received so much more support than I have writing for other fandoms! You guys are awesome!