His head throbbed when he opened his eyes and he groaned in pain. Merlin was surprised that he found himself gazing upon the familiar ceiling of his room and not the grey, cold, damp one in the dungeons.
The memory flooded his senses. The light, the whispers, his eyes, Arthur-
Arthur.
"You betrayed me!"
He squeezed his eyes shut because the very act of remembering brought him pain. Merlin felt tears well up in his eyes as his fingers caressed his right temple.
"He hit me," he whispered to himself, dazed.
Arthur had never struck him out of anger. Yes, there was the occasional shoving, the all too dreaded target practices, wetting his head with a bucket, but never had Arthur consciously chosen to punch him- let alone knock him unconscious.
His door suddenly opened, which scared the daylights out of him, but he visibly relaxed when he spotted the familiar blue of Gaius's robes. Merlin quickly blinked the tears away.
"Ah, you're awake."
Gaius set his bowl of soup beside his dresser. The spiced scent of the meal assaulted his nose, and Merlin wished he had the strength to tell Gaius that he wasn't hungry and that he wouldn't be for a long time. He could barely stomach the truth of what had just happened let alone something solid.
"How are you feeling?" Gaius asked. He sat beside his legs, bed slightly dipping under his weight, and he gently patted Merlin's knee.
His lips parted to voice another half-hearted I'm fine, but he couldn't bring himself to say it. How many more times would he have to lie? He turned his face away, and swallowed the lump that formed in his throat.
"Arthur knows."
Silence.
"I know."
Merlin foolishly snapped his gaze toward Gaius, which in turn made his head throb even more.
"What?" he hissed in pain. "How?"
Gaius looked down for a moment as if to gather his thoughts.
"Well, it was Arthur who brought you here," the older man explained bluntly.
He wish he could be like Gaius in that aspect. Speak the truth or simply say nothing at all. Heaven knows it would have saved him more time, more lives, if he hadn't been such a damn coward.
His face reddened at thought of Arthur carrying him to his bed, but he doubted it. The man was probably too disgusted with him to even touch him.
"I asked him what had happened," he resumed, "and he told me everything that took place in the forest."
"Gaius, I swear, I didn't willingly perform ma-
"I know, Merlin," he said understandingly. "After we made sure that you were safe in your room and that I had treated you, I sat him down and had a word with him."
His eyebrows shot up. "You had a word with Arthur?"
Gaius blinked. "Yes."
"You actually sat him down?" he asked incredulously. When Arthur was enraged, it was a difficult task to even get him to stand still. If he wasn't so crushed, Merlin would have laughed. "What did you tell him?"
"The truth."
He shut his eyes and bowed his head shamefully. He felt a hand warmly cup his shoulder.
"I told Arthur," Gaius said solemnly, "that everything you did, everything you sacrificed, was for the good of Camelot, and for the good of its Prince."
He sighed. "It doesn't matter. He hates me."
His spirit shrinks further at the sudden revelation.
"You must understand, Merlin, that everything Arthur thought he knew-
"Turned out to be a lie?" he spat bitterly.
Gaius raised his brow higher at the interruption. "Everything he thought he knew didn't turn out as he expected."
"Yeah, no kidding," he muttered, and sunk further down into his covers. "I betrayed him." he confessed with self-loathing.
"No, Merlin," Gaius said, and gazed right at his bandaged temple. "He betrayed you."
He felt raw emotion start to claw its way back up his throat again, but Merlin suppressed it.
"Eat your soup," Gaius rose out of his seat and placed a small vial beside the bowl, "then take this. It will soothe your head and it will help you sleep."
Merlin pursed his lips and nodded in thanks. He closed his eyes when he felt a hand gently soothe his bangs back.
"All will be well in time."
For his own sake, Merlin hoped so.
When Gaius shut his door, he only had Arthur's words for company. Tears welled in his eyes once more, and Merlin desired nothing more than to shut it all off. He wished he could silence his cruel mind, the mourning of his heart, and more than anything, he wished he could un-hear those words.
"You betrayed me!"
His fingers dug into his messy locks and yanked harshly, hoping the pain would distract him from the mire of his thoughts. Merlin's trembling hands passed the bowl of soup and reached straight for the vial. The trembling had made it difficult to completely down the entire contents of the medicine without wasting a few droplets. When Merlin settled back down, making a face at the bitter taste of the sleeping draught, he wished for a dreamless sleep. Soon, his weary mind succumbed to rest.
:
:
:
When Merlin fatigue-ishly awakened from his nap, his eyes reluctantly scanned the room. When they settled on a blonde figure dressed in expensive red clothing, his heart almost stopped.
"We need to talk." Arthur ordered.
