A/N: This chapter reveals a little more about Rei! I hope you like my confused little pain fairy.


The sterile scent of the hospital stuck in her nose like lemon-fresh-something and the electric tang of Kakashi's sweat. After Rei picked herself up off the floor and clipped the feeling that she'd been jilted, she nearly collapsed again once she remembered that Tsunade had ordered her to have a physical exam. She never neglected a command, but the throbbing marks Kakashi had left behind and the persistent hum between her legs made her consider spending the rest of the day in bed. However, it was useless because he was everywhere; on the kitchen table, underneath her covers, and all over her skin so she girded herself, showered, dressed, and watched for the knowing eyes of her neighbors as she left her apartment complex. It didn't seem like anyone knew or cared.

Her memory was better than the day before, and she picked up the pace, zipping off streetlights and rooftops, when the hospital came into view. The receptionist informed her that Tsunade had been by earlier to find out if she'd come in, and Rei remembered the Hokage's limited patience, one strangling thread of patience that dared anyone to try her. Rei sighed, knowing she had to make a good impression and gain the trust of her new leader. The village depended on her strength.

The waiting area was thick with sick people and shinobi in need of follow-up exams. The wounds of Orochimaru's ambush had not quite healed and Rei felt silly for thinking too much about a one-night stand and nervously palming the side of her neck every couple of seconds. Her secrets mattered to no one. Not even Kakashi.

"Alright," she muttered, repeating what he had said when she killed any idea of the two of them being together.

She knew she preferred answering to the village and herself alone. She knew this, but Kakashi had taken her resolution much too coolly, and it had worn on her nerves for almost three hours. Chewing on the curl of her finger, Rei pleaded with herself to snap out of it. She had broken off whatever they'd stumbled into, and Kakashi wasn't the type to argue or waste time on pointless things. She knew this, but still. Perhaps a few more days were in order to force her mind back on track.

"Rei Horoshima?" A syrupy sweet voice chimed her name from the front desk, and Rei rose to her feet.

"Ino?" That dated feeling crept up on Rei again, and she wanted to pass out.

"That's me!" Ino grinned. "I swapped out with the last receptionist, but anyway, the doctor will see you in just a sec. In the meantime, though, could you sign this release? We'll send it to Lady Tsunade when all of your tests come back."

"Yeah," Rei said dumbly, taking the pen and clipboard from Ino. Seven years looked as long as they felt.

A nurse arrived and walked Rei to a room to take her blood pressure and record her height and weight. She fixed her with a syringe, drew blood and then the interview came.

"When was your last menstrual period, and are you sexually active?"

Rei tensed at the question. One night, after years, didn't qualify as active especially since it wasn't happening again. But she'd lost count of how many times Kakashi had flung her over the edge and swallowed her in his desire. The kitchen, hallway, and her bedroom reported hours of activity.

"Thirteen days ago, and no."

The nurse jotted down her one truth and a lie, and left her in a room to disrobe and wait for the doctor. Rei crouched to look at her neck in the sliver of mirror between the cabinets and the sink, and the hickey seemed bigger. She rasped an annoyed 'Shit' and removed the rest of her clothes. The paper-thin robe hung on her body like a kite and she reclined on the examination table. Two taps at the door announced the doctor, and Rei made an indistinct murmur.

"Rei Horoshima!" Dr. Kizuna Mado shut the door with the heel of her foot and almost blinded Rei with her smiling toothy mouth. "I haven't seen you since you came up to my hip. How are you?"

Rei barely remembered the woman, her mother's old doctor, but almost everything had faded with the dying flame of her parents' lives. She exchanged pleasantries with the doctor, answered questions, asked too few, and sighed to prepare herself for the feeling of spreading her legs for medical reasons. It wasn't necessarily awkward to her, but absolutely no one jumped at the event of a pelvic exam. Dr. Mado tapped on the twin purple markings on Rei's inner thighs and Rei flexed a toe.

"These bruises…"

"Nothing much," Rei said, racking up another lie. "Travelling back from so far wasn't the easiest undertaking."

"Hmm, okay, well you appear to be in excellent shape. We'll process the other tests and have the results out by the end of the day. The Hokage's put a rush on everything because of the state of the village."

The memory of Orochimaru and the unrecognizable surroundings she once called home sobered Rei yet again, and she left the hospital, ignoring everyone that tried to engage her in small talk. With a clean bill of health, she could count on a mission soon, and she welcomed the prospect of something more important gobbling her focus.


Guy had stared at the menu for what seemed like hours and Kakashi honestly lost his appetite even after keeping up with Naruto for so long. He wobbled a glass around in his hand, admiring its spotlessness. Ichiraku definitely stayed up to standard, but Naruto would drink from dirty glasses without a second thought as long as the ramen didn't change. Guy's pickiness meant Naruto had already inhaled three bowls and taken off.

"'Know what you want yet, Guy?" Kakashi asked lazily. "The place'll be closed if you take any longer."

"Kakashi," Guy flipped the menu over before setting it down, and Kakashi wished he'd just kept his mouth closed, "you can't rush something as vital as a man's next meal, but I'll tell you what. If I don't come up with something in the next five minutes, I've got to give you a thousand push-ups."

"You actually don't, Guy. You really don't."

But the matter was settled and Kakashi already knew it. He stared into the glass of water and flashed back to breakfast with Rei. She was as stubborn as a brick wall, but the way she lowered her defenses pulled the breath from his lungs. He couldn't decide if their morning together had eclipsed their night.

"Kakashi, what's on your mind? You look lost in a daydream."

"Rei came back from her mission."

The words tripped out of him before he was torn back to the present moment. Guy cleared his throat before sharing that he'd sorted out his order.

"I see. I wish she'd get past whatever she's holding against you because you obviously haven't put down that torch you've toted around for her."

Kakashi smiled and his face always lit up whenever he did even with most of it concealed. Guy could never understand that.

"Oh, I think we came to an amicable agreement to keep the past in the past," Kakashi said.

Guy wanted to faint, or take off like a rocket, but he just sat very still, yanking back his joy. He'd waited for this day as much as Kakashi, for Kakashi, and genuine happiness for his friend put the mist of tears in his eyes.

"Uh, Guy? Hello?" Kakashi waved at Guy, trying to haul him back from whatever high or fantastic notions he'd fallen victim to.

Guy's lips trembled and Kakashi was seconds away from walking out of the restaurant and leaving him. He was unreachable when he went into one of his fits. While he calmed down, Kakashi floated back to his very real daydreams. The morning did eclipse the night. He relished Rei's apology the most, not because he felt deserving of it, but because of how soft she'd gone without the incentive of his mouth or hands. It was like getting something after longing for years and it not turning out to be a disappointment. All he'd wanted was a millimeter, a microscopic pathway into her heart again, but he couldn't live in that moment long enough. As surely as they'd reconnected, she retracted everything and labeled him a mistake, wounding him more than he'd let himself reveal. He'd wanted her so badly and for so long, but she wasn't something to be won or possessed. He knew that, but the loss still sat heavy on his mind.

"So what happened?" Guy had wanted to know from the beginning but he noticed that Kakashi hadn't blinked once and was still rolling the glass around.

"We had sex and she said it was a mistake that she didn't want to happen again, and that was that."

Guy expired. Sometimes Kakashi's shots were too straight.


Tsunade was preoccupied and Shizune told Rei that someone would send for her once her test results came in. She felt like an eager rookie, balking at Shizune's suggestions that she relax and take everything in. Not having a task at present just taunted the memories, flat-out asked them to flood in and drown her.

When she swore off Kakashi and romance the first time, it didn't stick, and she left her heart open to men with silver tongues. She told herself that it was just meaningless companionship, something to occupy her free time when the missions concluded quickly and her bed was cold, but nothing put an end to the gnawing loneliness that digested her heart. Still, she kept playing the game, accepting poorly defined relationships instead of the real thing because the real thing had been too much like leaving herself open to an attack, and she didn't believe in second chances.

On some days, she cursed Kakashi from the bottom of her heart. When his father died, a part of him switched off and he became harder to reach until he was just as dead. She wouldn't wait for him to leave so she disappeared first. As much as she tried to erase him with another's scent or voice or her slow-forming acceptance that love was a respecter of persons, a part of him still lingered and she started to think it was impossible to completely let something go.

A picture of the two of them in a green field with blue flowers and the sun glowing behind them was the one, tangible thing that survived, and she kept it with her during missions. The danger never let up and she didn't want to die alone.

One night, by campfire, her secret was revealed. The picture had spilled out of her bag when her teammate, Kumara, knocked it over. He was always reaching for seconds, out-eating them for the sake of strengthening his stamina for the miles ahead of them, but despite his bigness, he moved quickly. Rei had barely blinked before he swiped the picture from the dirt. He smiled as wide as she'd ever seen, joked about calling an intervention for her and Kakashi, and scattered into pieces all over the forest from a bomb the following day. She reached for him, but he pushed her back, forcing her body through a line of trees, cracking the backs of her shoulders, but at least she was still alive.

Rei stopped at the riverside and watched the sky change to a milky gray. There was the brief rumble of thunder and then the rain. Finally, the memories receded. At first, she felt the urge to rush through the showers and get home, but she stood still, enraptured by the water stippling the river. Taking it all in was too much. Shizune had no idea.

"You'll catch cold."

Kakashi's timing was perfect. Nothing in life was supposed to be.

"Maybe so." Rei didn't turn around. She didn't want to interrupt the rain or show him her broken heart.

Leaving her alone was probably the right thing to do according to anyone else's opinion, but he never cared much for that so his feet didn't stop until he was at her side. She let the soaked veil of her hair hide her face and collected herself until she felt able to greet him with her eyes, dark blue like night clouds illuminated briefly by flashes of lightning. Her look pierced like lightning, striking him with the feeling of breathlessness until he gulped some of the humid air.

Big beads of water rested on her lashes and she blinked them away. The rain was smothering. Kakashi hated it. His headband felt like five pounds on top of his eye and his mask suffocated him.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, speaking louder than usual to accommodate the soggy muffle of his voice.

"Kumara and Mizuru. My team."

Kakashi thought of Obito and Rin and his hand ached from the feeling of tearing through Rin's chest. Everyone he'd clung to had died, and then Rei vanished like a mirage. The rain was either a sedative or a depressant that conjured up everything a person wanted to forget.

The flow of the lake, and distant thunder were the only sounds until Rei sucked in a long breath.

"You'll catch cold," she echoed him.

"Maybe so," he said, removing his headband.

"'Careful. Someone may get too good of a look at the infamous copy ninja shrouded in ambiguity."

"Am I really that ambiguous?"

He had a knack for posing questions she wouldn't answer. Whatever they once had was not easily discarded, and she knew it with the beat of her heart, but there was something there. A wall, the easier feeling of remaining unbothered, a million of her poorly-crafted, flimsy excuses. The war was her latest, and she supposed it wasn't the worst reason, but it was still an excuse all the same.

"Come on," he interjected. "The rain is picking up."

She didn't feel like refusing so she let him lead them away until they were outside of his apartment. She walked in more naturally than she should have. The squish of her sandals was annoying so she kicked them off quickly. Kakashi didn't have much of a place. His living room was a perfect box decorated with a couch, a shelf full of books, and a television resting on a stand with questionable structural integrity. Nothing separated the room from the kitchen, another box, blindingly white and clean. There wasn't a stray pepper mill or bottle of soy sauce to be seen.

Rei kept inspecting, shaking her head at the reading options as she thumbed through his library. Kakashi came back from out of the darkness of the hallway with fresh clothing and pointed her to the bathroom.

She unfolded the black sweater and examined the compression tights he'd given her. They were new, and she supposed the best he could do since her waist wouldn't uphold any of his pants. She peeled off her sticky, wet clothes and washed her face.

Kakashi fiddled around in the kitchen, preparing a quick meal, and Rei sauntered in with her hair up and his sweater falling off her shoulder.

"What are you making?" Rei hopped onto the counter beside him and watched him throw things into a pan and flip them around.

"Chicken, vegetables, and a sauce I'm not too sure about. Here." He offered a spoon to her lips and she tasted the sauce coating it.

"Kakashi, are you kidding me? That's delicious." She complimented him with wide-eyed incredulity. "When'd you become such a chef?"

"Oh, you flatter me."

She huffed at his fake bashfulness and returned to the living room to surf through channels. There was nothing but game shows, infomercials, and prime time dramas to choose from as she searched for a movie. Kakashi plated their dinner and pulled two standing trays out of a closet. Rei set them up and he brought the food. After more channel-switching, a murder mystery captured her attention and she snuggled into the softness of the couch. She snuck a glance at Kakashi who wasn't ambiguous in the slightest. He looked comfortable without his headband and mask in the presence of someone else and she almost liked being that someone.

It was easy; existing with him in private without the feeling of the world on her neck and shoulders. She tapped a few fingers on her neck and turned back to the television.

"Your neck looks pretty bad. 'Sorry about that." Kakashi leaned back with a drink in hand and Rei scoffed.

"If you're sorry then I'm the Hokage." The sound of her laughter filled the room.

It wasn't what he expected, but he didn't question it. She was simpler, unfettered by thoughts of 'What are we?' and 'What is this?' He decided to be grateful for it without hoping it would last, but that was like trying to forget her, and he hadn't done a very good job at that for years. They caught the tail end of the movie so it ended quickly with Rei yelling at the protagonist to wake up and see what was right in front of him. The circumstances were different, but Kakashi held back a chuckle.

The volume of the television was dialed down in deference to their own conversation. Rei spoke on her mission, the connection of the Black Star Society to the Akatsuki , and Kakashi talked about his broken team of students.

"I'm just worried that Naruto and Sakura will never have what they're hoping and fighting for. I don't know if Sasuke will ever come back."

Sometimes the truth was a hard pill to swallow, but hope was the evidence of things unseen. A patch of silence hit them and Kakashi seized the opportunity to clean up.

"Rei, could I interest you in some sake?" Kakashi removed cups from the cabinet and held them up for her to see.

"You most certainly cannot. Are you trying to get me drunk, Hatake?"

"Fine, fine. Suit yourself. I'll have some."

He sat down with the bottle of sake and one cup. Rei examined the bottle, noting the quality. Kakashi didn't invest in much furniture, but at least he valued top-shelf.

"Rei, I'm glad you're here and that you're back."

Her throat felt strained like she was holding back tears and she didn't know why. She snatched the sake and the now-empty cup from him and poured herself a healthy swig. The liquid sizzled and burned all the way down. She shoved the bottle and cup at him and he put them aside. The remote had gone missing, lost somewhere in the belly of the couch, and he frisked around for it. Rei found it first and switched the television off. Kakashi lightly beat his hands on his knees to curb the silence.

"You want to talk?" he asked with a songful lilt.

Rei kept chasing the words to say as he waited.

"I'm having a nice time." She put it as simply as she could. The awkwardness hurt like unknown territory, like a journey with no destination.

Kakashi hiked a leg up on the couch and faced her, unsure if she would go on or if he'd been given the floor to speak. Before he could think anymore, she buried her face in her hands.

"Why is this so hard for me?" She didn't require an answer and didn't even believe there was one. "I want to accept that I'm enjoying being here. I want to embrace how I…"

The next breath she took robbed her of the courage to speak another word. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, but she was like a piece of glass.

"You don't have to do anything, Rei. Wherever you want to be, however you want to feel… It's all more than okay."

She stood, bone-straight with her shoulders squared, not ready, ill-equipped to navigate the sea of feelings that begged to flow out of her uninhibited.

"Thank you."

She looked at him, wearing the ghost of a smile. When the door closed, Kakashi admitted that she'd taken another piece of him with her. Maybe he was the glass.