Author's Notes: Fanfictiondotnet won't accept my long title. This is preposterous.


Chapter 2: Men with Chest Hair Have a 100% Chance of Becoming Best Bro

Apparently, demons have been pouring out from the sky and no one around here knows what to do about it. His hand is the farthest they have gotten and all he did was sleep for two days while people panicked.

Cassandra leads him to an area full of demons and people fighting them, a small rift in the middle of it all. She readies her weapon and shield, and he readies his dagg-

Is that Varric?

Forget about demons! Varric is here! Why- he does not care. His best bro is here and that's all that matters.

"Varric!" he shouts, waving his arms- his weapons around wildly, and sprints to his favorite dwarf. A rage demon blocks his way to his beloved and Garrett slashes it away with glee.

Varric's ears catch a familiar voice, a small smile making its way to his face. He is a little worried however, because he lied to Cassandra about the Champions' location, knowing that the twins are exhausted enough from shouldering the burdens of other people, from trying to save everyone. And now he seems to have wound up into trouble again.

Maybe it's just in their blood.

"Oof!" Varric gets the wind knocked out of him as Garrett jumps on him, his legs and arms locked around the dwarf. They are a comical picture. A dwarf wielding a crossbow wobbling on his feet, trying and failing to defeat demons because of an annoying human clinging onto him.

"Oh Varric! I missed you and your chest hair!" Garrett rubs his face against Varric's neck, as much as he is able to anyway due to their height and his position.

Varric laughs heartily but it gets cuts short because- "Hey, easy with the daggers, Hawke. Wouldn't want our reunion to end immediately because of sudden mishaps." He barely dodges the dagger carelessly dangling from Garrett's right hand. How this person became a skilled rogue when he's like this he does not know.

But Garrett does not seem to hear him, too busy kissing all over Varric's small head. Loud smooching noises fill the place, along with the occasional screams of agony, and Varric notices the dwindling number of demons.

Garrett releases Varric a few seconds later, albeit reluctantly, to at least help clear the area from monsters. He pouts when Varric wastes no time to rub his face clean from all the slobber.

Garrett turns around and gets to work. A little slash here, a little slash there, disappear, backstab, run away because he's squishy, and done.

He was about to wipe the blood off on his left hand when, out of nowhere, someone grabs his glowing hand and shoves it in front of the rift.

Poof.

The rift disappears.

"It seems you are the key to our salvation," an elf with a shiny head begins. "Your hand has the power to close the rifts and we may have the chance to close the breach yet."

Garrett examines his palm, not really certain with what just happened.

But he grins at the elf and gestures to his palm with his head. "I guess you could say it's quite handy, huh?"

A disgusted noise could be heard from behind him while Varric laughs with delight.

The elf greatly disapproves.