CHAPTER ONE:
I
drove home that night with tears rolling down my face. It was all I
could do not to break down and sob right then. I knew I had done the
right thing for both Rob and myself. I just didn't think it would
hurt so much. My heart was killing me, it ached like a bullet had
pierced it and left a gaping hole. Everything around me was hazy,
like a dream, all that was clear was the pain searing in my chest,
making it hard to breathe. I walked to my apartment in a zombie like
trance, not realizing what I was doing until I felt the down feathery
pillow under my head. I had changed my clothes and brushed my teeth
mechanically.
The
tears flowed freely now accompanied by loud sobs that were slightly
quieted by my pillow. My whole body shook as I cried. Salty tears
soaked my pillow and moistened my cheeks. I cried myself to sleep
that night and awoke the next morning feeling exhausted yet with more
tears building up. Before I could start again I forced myself out of
bed and into the shower.
The
warm water felt soothing on my salt stained skin. I savored the
warmth knowing the cold would overcome my body soon. Sure enough as
soon as I stepped out of the shower it felt like a cold front moved
in just over me. It was hard to dress while I shivered but I managed
it. Soon I was in my car heading to the twilight set.
I
had distracted myself enough in the morning to keep the pain to a
minimal but in the car my mind escaped me. The pain throbbed as Rob's
hurt face flashed in my mind. I kept breathing but it wasn't easy,
with every breath came a sharp stab of pain.
I
parked in my usual spot and cut the engine. I didn't want to get out
of my car yet, not just becuase it would be even colder outside but
because I feared who would be there. I tried to take a deep breath
and prepare for this gruesome day but that only caused me so much
pain I had to clutch my chest. I sighed and gave up on preparing. As
I reached for the door handle someone from outside opened it for me.
I had to sheild my eyes from the sun at first but then Rob's gorgeous
smile and the rest of his beautiful features came into clear
view.
For
a brief second the pain stopped and there was no bullet hole because
I breathed in his over-whelming scent. The smell reminded me of his
lips and the memory brought back the pain which ripped at my heart
again...
