Psst! Hey!

What?

Wake up!

Seifer! We've been so worried! Where have you been?

I've been on a quest!

What?

A quest! A real one! No wooden sword this time! I found this old place with no trees and no...

You have not! You just ran away and...

I did not run away! Only cowards run away!

You did too!

I did not!

Did too! You ran away because Matron was yelling at you for being mean to Zell!

She was not yelling at me!

Be quiet! You'll wake up Matron!

Stop being stupid! She sent me in here to talk to you, but you won't even listen!

I don't listen to stupid boys that lie.

Don't call me that.

Stupid! Seifer is a stupid boy!

Don't say that.

Why not? What are you gonna do? You can't beat up a girl.

You're not a girl.

Yes I am!

No, you're not!

I am!

You're not pretty enough to be a girl.

You're stupid. Girls can be other things than pretty, you know. Matron said so.

She did not.

Did too. She told me that girls can be 'distinguished' instead of pretty. Distinguished and intelligent girls can lead the world.

That's only what they call girls that are ugly so they feel better about themselves.

They do not!

Yeah they do! It ain't the truth to tell people things like that and...

It 'isn't' the truth, Seifer. 'Ain't' isn't a word.

But you knew what I meant, didn't ya?

That's not what...

You're just trying to change the subject because you don't want me to call ya ugly again. I ain't stupid, Trepe.

You are too! You're a stupid boy that just wants to be mean!

I'm not stupid!

You are too!

Okay, if I'm so stupid, then why do ya wear those ugly glasses?

Because I need them to see.

You're lying. You just wear them because you think they make you look smart!

Take that back!

No! If-if it isn't true, then why don't ya wear 'em when we go outside? Huh? You only wear 'em when you're looking at those books.

I don't wear them when...

Yeah you do. Look at yourself.

Shut up.

That's not nice.

Well, you're not being nice to me! You just ran away and nobody knew what happened to you and...

And you cried like a little girl, didn't you?

I did not!

Yeah, I forgot. You're not a girl. You're a freak with glasses and a big head.

I am too a girl!

Prove it then! Do something girly!

Girly? Like what?

Yeah. Girly. You know, wear pink or play with dolls or have tea parties...ya know. Girly stuff.

Matron says it's called 'femininity'.

Well, yeah, for her, but you're just a girl that...

Ah ha!

That's not what I meant! You're not like a 'girl' girl! You're too smart to be a girl!

Am not!

Ah ha!

That's not what I meant, Seifer!

Yeah, but it's too late now!

You're so...so...

So what?

You're such a liar! You can't even tell me where you've been this past week!

I tried, but you won't shut up to even listen to me!

Yeah, well, it's because you fib about everything to make yourself look better!

I do not!

Do too!

I. Do. Not.

You. Do. Too.

I was on a quest.

You ran away because you're a coward, Seifer.

I was on a quest, Quistis.

You were not.

I was too.

Were not.

Were too.


Who the hell decided that the sun should be so bright?

And just who the hell decided that clouds should be replaced by shadows?

"Q?"

"Hzzzz....?"

"Q?"

"Hzzzz....?"

Xu squinted at the harsh sunlight. Stupid bastard. She had long ago determined that the sun was out to get her. Stupid solar orb with it's fucking...its fucking...

Wait. What did the sun have that was so bad?

Whatsitcalled...radi-something...radi...

Damn that tequila. Damn it straight to hell.

And damn Quistis for wearing that pink bikini. That fucking bitch knew the effects a bit of skin had on her superior officer. It was bad enough that Quistis insisted on spending her summer break with her best friend instead of obeying her goddamned orders...

Xu turned her gaze from bleached blonde hair, soaked by salty marine water and drying on flushed skin, and tried semi-valiantly to blind herself with the happy-go-motherfucking-lucky rays of the sun.

Sun, sun, sun...

Solar something...skin cancer...weird moles in anatomy texts...

Radiation! That's it!

Fuck you, tequila! You'll not beat me just yet!

"Q! Wake up! You're gonna get...gonna get...you know, burnt if you sleep out here. The sun's...whatsit...really strong today..."

Quistis swatted Xu's helpful hand away and rolled onto her side. It had been a very long week and she wanted to enjoy what little time she allowed herself for recuperation. Exams were over, her students and their fantastic grades were the envy of the campus, and all Quistis Trepe wanted to do was sleep.

"Leave me 'lone. It feels good."

"Yeah, but you'll bitch me out if I let you sleep out here. I know you and I know that you'll...you know, fuss because I let you sleep..."

Quistis laughed and flipped over so that she could see Xu's perfectly tanned profile. The brown bitch made her sick. Who the hell decided that she could spend hours in the sun without investing a fortune in UV protection?

"Why're you in such a rush, anyway? You aren't burnt at all..."

"No, but I'd hate to see that pretty skin of yours turn all pink..." Xu grinned. The white of her teeth flashed against her deep tan, a shocking contrast to the rest of her mahogany figure. "...unless I'm the reason that you've turned pink, of course. I know all sorts of tricks that would make a blind man close his eyes, you know..."

Quistis laughed and reached into the icy confines of their cooler for another swig of tequila. Visiting the beach had been the best idea that Xu had in weeks. Despite a few Trepie stalkers and a very strange encounter with the man selling both hot dogs and chocobo greens on the pier, it really had been a perfect afternoon.

The sun was bright, the tequila was cold, and Xu hadn't been arrested.

Yet.

Yep. It was a great afternoon.

"You need some...whatsitcalled...sunblock..."

"I do not."

"You do. I'd hate to see such perfect skin ..."

Quistis interrupted before Xu could get into one of her alcohol-induced rants.

"Look who's talking, Miss 'I don't even wear a bathing suit in public'..."

"You're just jealous that...that..."

"This isn't a nude beach, Xu. What would happen if some of our students walked by?"

Xu grinned again, though she did roll over onto her belly, but only because Quistis was asking with that damned silent way she had of asking things.

"Well, they could say that they are the luckiest goddamned students in Balamb's history. They have a fucking goddess for an instructor and a hot ass headmistress with a killer..a killer...a killer tan..."

Quistis shook Xu's shoulder.

Drunk as hell.

"Xu?"

"Xu?"

An elderly couple holding hands walked by and whispered something that Quistis couldn't quite decipher. She was certain that it had something to do with her best friend and her bare ass, but without walking alongside them, she couldn't be sure exactly what they were saying. Throwing back another swig of tequila, she sat up on her towel and waved them away with a friendly middle finger to the heavens.

They looked like tacky tourists in those straw hats, anyway.


"Seifer?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you help me for a second?"

Seifer dusted his palms on his jeans and leaned the shovel against the wall of the shed.

"Sure, be there in a sec."

Edea smiled and drifted back into the kitchen. She had a whole tray of cookies, some sugar, some peanut butter, and a few chocolate chip, all undoubtedly delicious, yet she'd throw them into the sea before she'd let Cid be the first to taste them.

The few times she decided to use her domestic skills, the singular instances when she felt it necessary to demonstrate just how powerful she could truly be...

"Seifer? Are you coming?"

"Yeah! Be there as soon as I wash my hands!"

"Good! Hurry now, before I lose patience!"


Note: If there is anything at all that you find in this fic that you like, please give all proper dues to Aurenare for her amazing ideas. For every idea of mine, she had three, each better than the last. I would like to give her dual-author credit, but she told me that it isn't necessary.

The problem with this is: if she hadn't put up with my endless emails and IMs, answered every fucking one of my questions, and given me so many ideas, I would still be stuck on page one, jabbering to myself about FFVIII plot holes. This is definitely a fun project (and I'm having one hell of a fucking good time with it), but I simply can't pretend that I'm the genius responsible for the ideas. That credit belongs to Aurenare.

And yeah, I yanked the pink thing from Crisis Core. Aerith sho' ain't the only character to wear pink...and from what I've read, the FFVIII writers meant for Quistis to be compared to a tulip, but her last name was fucked up in translation. Can you imagine the tulip craze that hit Holland back in the day and compare it to the mania of the Trepies? Yeah, I thought it was kind of snazzy.

Oh! Tequila Princess...you silly, wonderful bitch! I didn't forget you! Xu's beverage of choice is for you, darling! The former-bartender in me is trying to invent a tequila-based drink that I can call 'Princess'.

So, this is going to deal with a shit-load of questions that Seifer and Quistis asked themselves in my last really long fic. It would probably help if you've read Cards and Questions, but it isn't necessary. I will make a few notes of some conversations between Q and S in this fic, but I'm going to try very hard to make this a stand-alone fic instead of just a sequel. This is just the fic to answer a bunch of questions that I had about FFVIII and how it treated the characters, especially Quistis and Seifer, who just kick all kinds of ass.

We'll see how it goes.