Chapter 2: Edmond Dantes
Two weeks had passed yet there were no improvements at all regarding Kokonose's depression. He was delighted to see Takane brought along books for him whenever she came to check him out. However, whenever she asked him questions anything about his health, he would never answer it – not even once.
"Kokonose-kun, I think you should already let me diagnose you." she said, sighing. Kokonose glanced at her, reading Thumbelina.
"Why? Does my face really show that I should be doing any diagnoses?" he quipped. Takane started to piss off. She then let out a heavy sigh. 'What a pain in the ass' she thought, scratching he nape.
"Well then, I'll check you out in another 5 days. Make sure you cooperate by then." She said as she packed the books that Kokonose had read then exited the ward. Kokonose Haruka – Takane first patient and the most obstinate patient she ever had in her carrier. Why was it so hard for him to cooperate with her? Was it because she was a female? Was it because the story that he would like to share was too sensitive? When she asked Kisaragi about Kokonose, he would say, "He never acts like this. He usually cooperates with everyone easily." If so, then why was it hard for him to cooperate with her?
Suddenly, she bumped with Seto-sensei. He apologized then asked her for a treat as a sign of apologized. She agreed. Then, the two of them went to the cafeteria. She ordered an apple juice whereas Seto-sensei ordered sandwiches.
"So how's your patient going? That patient called Kokonose." He asked.
"There's an improvement regarding our communications. However, whenever I ask him about what makes the way he is now, he doesn't say a word. As if it's so hard for him to speak." I said.
"Have you asked his guardian?" she nodded. Seto leaned back, thinking an alternative to make Kokonose to cooperate with her.
"Well, doesn't it mean that he clearly doesn't want you?" Seto said. Her eyes widen.
"What do you mean by that sensei?" she paused for a moment, thinking. Probably, what he said was true. Kokonose probably didn't want her as his psychologist.
"E-even so, what can I do about it? He's stuck with me." She mumbled.
"Well, actually you could ask for a change." He told. A change? What did he meant by that?
"Maybe because you're a newbie that's why you don't really know about it. Actually, in Mental Rehab, there's a policy here saying – if one's doctor couldn't interact or communicate with his patients, he is allowed to ask for a change. It means here that you could ask any other psychologist here to take care of your patient; that is if they are willing to do that." He explained.
"Is...that so?" Takane thought for a moment.
"What?! You are saying that this week is your last week as my psychologist?" Kokonose surprised.
"Well yeah." She replied, frowned. What was with him? Shouldn't he happy that she was no longer in charge of taking care of him?
"It's fine Kokonose-kun. The one that will replace me will be Tateyama-sensei. You'll be fine. She's a good a psychologist." 'Unlike me,' that was what she thought. This was for the best.
"THE HELL?!" he cried. Takane shocked, glancing at him.
"What's the matter?" She asked.
"Why… why do you want to change? D-do you also want to get rid of me? Like how the others did to me?" his voice was shaking.
"I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A NUISANCE! I PROMISE THAT I WILL NEVER ACT LIKE THIS AGAIN! I PROMISE!" he shouted. Kokonose-kun?
"Please… please don't get rid of me… I'm begging you." he said, abruptly pulled her collar. His breath was getting shorter.
"Kokonose-kun…" she called out his name.
"Please relax. Try to breathe deeply." She said. He then did everything that she asked, breathe. She could see that his tears were flowing out.
"Please… don't abandon me." He murmured, slowly, his eyes closed, letting himself slumbered. She slowly caught him, trying to avoid him hurt. She leaned him back, gently. Suddenly, Seto came into the ward.
"Hey, what's going on? I could even Kokonose-kun's scream from the other ward." he said.
"Apparently… he doesn't really like the idea of changing psychologist I suppose." She said; lowering her voice, hoping that she didn't tried to disturb him sleeping.
"Oh… is that so? Did anything when he screams?" he asked.
"Nothing. However, he did say something weird." She answered, looking at him.
"Such as…?"
"Kokonose-kun said something like abandoning him. He even seeks forgiveness for his misbehave." She explained. Seto thought for a while.
"I think that depression isn't only his syndrome. From the way he acted and said, apparently he also have paranoid and anxiety." He assumed.
"I have a feeling that his depression isn't because of work but something else." He explained. She looked him. Then, she sighed heavily.
"If so, then he supposed to talk to me about this! He… he just doesn't intend to do it. All he did was reading the books that I lend him. He would thank me but eventually, he ignored me, doesn't want to answer any of my questions, not to mention cooperating with me. Who does he think I am?! – his lackey? He is also a doctor. He supposed to know when he should cooperate. Yet when I said that I would change the psychologist, he against it. What does he want actually?" she burst all her anger toward Seto, accidently. She then genuflected, his behaviour was pressuring her. He looked at her, kneeling down with her.
"Enomoto-sensei…" he called out her name. She glanced at him.
"You see, the patients in Mental Rehab are like isolated children to me. They seek for attentions because they felt lonely and isolated, that is why I need to take care of them. I would listen to every problem that they would like to share with me. I like them because they deserve it. I've encountered many patients before and to be honest, I even encountered someone as Kokonose. Believe me, it wasn't easy at all. That patient apparently made a gap, as if she didn't want to share or let anyone knowing her problems at all. However, every patient is a child; all you need to do is going with the flow. With a little bit patient and effort, you will see the result. You are still a newbie and I know – everything is hard. Still, you need to gain experience. Do you really want to give up now? Your journey as a psychologist is still new. You may think that if you change with another psychologist you can escape from having such patient but how about in the future? – 10 years or even 20 years from now. Will you still ask for a change?" he verbalized, smiling. Her eyes widen, what had she been thinking of?
Seto's words made her realize that she couldn't just gave up and escaped from hardship. What he said were true, it was just like as if it was a slap of reality. Even if she escaped now, who knew about the future? Maybe she would meet another patient just like him or maybe worse. When he said that, she recalled her past – her difficulties of wanting to be a psychologist. She questioned herself, what was her motive of wanting to be psychologist actually? She looked down, feeling ashamed of herself towards Seto. Seto smiled.
"We're only human. Every human make a mistake. Don't feel down. You just need time to adjust all of these." He motivated her, patting her head. She then finally smiled.
"Thank you sensei." She thanked him. He then stood up then exit the ward, leaving only her and Kokonose.
She stood up then stared at him; there were eye bags under his eyes and he looked quite thinner than before. Did he not eat well? When she studied him, she realized one important thing – she didn't really know him. All she ever did was pushing him to answer all sorts of questions.
"He is also a doctor. He supposed to know when he should cooperate." Yeah right. The reason why he didn't want to cooperate with her probably because she was too pushy, too pushy to finish her work. Probably because she didn't want to know the patient's heart, that was why he didn't want to be kind to her. What was a psychologist if ones weren't capable to know a patient's heart?
"To me, they are like the isolated children." Suddenly she remembered what Seto said to her. Perhaps, if she changed her way of working, if she change her way of thinking and perspective, maybe she could know this patient more, maybe she could understands his heart better.
"I'm sorry Kokonose-kun. I'm such a hassle." She mumbled, holding his hand gently. The ward started to get cold – the evening dusk seemed brighter than usual, the echoes of children's voices could be heard from here, slowly, she moved towards the bay window, looking at the outside.
She saw nothing but skyscrapers and people walking and crossing the streets. There were a few old men taking a walk with their dog slowly while the dog slowly following its master's pace. Everyone was very happy. 'Aah…' she thought,
How long has it been for her to even look through the window and take a closer looked at the world?
How long has it been for her to gaze upon the evening dusk upon her?
Everything may seem to be mundane on the surface – looking at the unfamiliar faces of the people, looking up the sky. Seriously, how long has it been for her since the last time she looked up the sky? Suddenly, she reminded of Kokonose-kun's words,
"…, I really haven't had the time to stare or even have a slight of time of looking up at the horizons and sky. All I ever I did was just looking down, focusing on work and stuff."
Maybe he was right. She was immersing herself into work and unable to look up – not even once. She then slowly exited the ward, worn out yet at the same time, able to find the answer – the answer to unlock Kokonose's past.
She made her way into her house without her realized it. Her mind was full Kokonose – why he didn't want to tell everything about his past? Was it that harsh – his past? She then took her bath and turned on her laptop, searching about that man's past.
Kokonose Haruka
She then hit the enter button, unknowing whether or not the 'Kokonose Haruka' that she would find was the same as her mind. Then the search engine managed to find a few info of Kokonose Haruka. She read every article about that man – his past, his education, and his current life – everything that was available on the internet.
As she read every article, she realized one thing – Kokonose Haruka wasn't an ordinary man. He was something – a prodigy at the age of 7 in painting, a genius who was graduated at a well-known medical school in America and from a high class and wealthy family. No matter which aspects, he was perfect and gifted. However, what was it that lacking?
"Morning Kokonose-kun." Takane greeted him.
"Morning Enomoto-sensei." He replied, smiling. Takane looked at him, slowly touching his warm cheek with her right hand.
"How are you compared yesterday?" she asked. His smile broke; he averted his eyes away from him.
"I'm not that good since there was someone that will abandon me." He muttered, looking down. Both of his hands were clenching hard. She sighed, sitting on a chair beside him.
"I'm not going to change." She said.
"Huh?"
"I said that I'm not going to change since there is this certain someone who is reluctant if I made a change." She exclaimed, looking at him with a face of satisfaction. Kokonose smiled brighter than ever. He stared at her.
"Thank you sensei." He thanked her with a smile that she never saw before. Her heartbeat rose, her face flushed.
"Yeah. There's no need for you to thank me since this is a part of my job." She answered. Kokonose continued reading a new classic literature – The Count of Montecristo – one of Takane's favorite English author of all time. She stared at him; Kokonose seemed to have fun reading the book. He immersed himself with the book the she lend; page by page had he turned to know what happened to the protagonist of the story.
"Kokonose-kun." She called out his name.
"Hmm…?" he answered nonchalantly as he read the book. Then, he stopped reading that book, closing the book slowly and put it beside him.
"I want to know more about you. Not as a psychologist, but as Enomoto Takane." She said, calmly. He stared at her, silently. The surrounding seemed quite for a moment but she then broke the silence.
"I want to know about you – knowing what happen to you. I don't mind if you only talked a little about yourself or your past. As long as you share a bit about you, I'm actually quite happy hearing about you." she verbalized her thoughts. She didn't have the courage to assume confidently that Kokonose would open up to share his past with her but all she could do was hoping for the best. She smiled weakly.
To be honest, she no longer had the idea on how to let this man to speak about his past due to lack of experience. She thought that if only she had more experience like Seto-sensei, everything could be done easily, probably. Yet, she wasn't as experience as Seto; not to mention that she wasn't Seto to begin with. Every day, without a miss, she would always think of many ways how to let him talked about his past – from books to food and from talking to writing. Everything she had tries yet nothing had turned out well.
"Sure." He finally agreed. she quickly looked at him, her eyes widen, gawked. She knew that she always visualized that he one day would agree to this but hearing him saying this word, everything seemed so surreal.
"That is with a condition that you need to obey." He continued talking. A condition?
"What is the condition?" She asked, trying to calm down from her excitement.
"I want to know more about you. Not ast Enomoto-sensei but as Enomoto Takane herself. If you agree about this condition then I will let you know bits by bits regarding my history of life." He explained. She instantly nodded, agreeing with his condition. Both of them smiled brightly. Both of them started to talk – talking about their background – how he was as he was a little child, how she was during her childhood days and so on. The two of them were talking non-stopped. The book that Kokonose held for a while, he hadn't continue to read as he was busy talking with Enomoto.
Every day, she would visit Kokonose and had their conversation about something random. She didn't want to ask about his past; being afraid if she asked, he would somehow felt offended and gradually distanced himself from her. She didn't want that – talking with Kokonose had made her felt somehow connected with him. She could feel the warmth of his and she felt safe and secure whenever she sat beside him. The distance between the two of them appeared to be smaller. All her fatigues about work and her private life would slip away whenever she talked with this man.
"Hey Haruka-kun." She called out his first name.
"What is it Takane?" he asked gently.
"It's about time you tell me about your secret past." She asked, unwillingly. Haruka looked at him, knowing that she was asking the question hesitantly. He smiled, patting her head softly. He knew that this moment would come no matter how friendly Enomoto Takane was, she was still a psychologist and this wouldn't change no matter what the circumstances were. However, he wondered why one-way another, he didn't feel reluctant to tell about his hidden past. Before, he would glared at anyone who asked about this matter but knowing that Takane was the one asking, he felt that it was okay to tell her.
"Promise me that this would be a secret between as friends." He told her. She nodded, understood. He then began talking about his past,
"In people's eyes, they would think that I who was born in Kokonose lineage would consider as fortunate because of its renowned and full of fortunes. Everyone who was born in the Kokonose would felt grateful and blissful because all of them were born in such well-known lineage. However, I didn't felt the same way. To me, to be born as a Kokonose, I felt as if this was an unfortunate jinx upon me. I always wanted to live in a free and normal life like how every normal child normally live. However, I never felt that way before. Ever since I was a child, I'd been treated differently from the others or might be … I'd been isolated from the others. Every day, I needed to follow every order without a complaint from my guardian – from the table etiquette until study etiquette. You could say that they thought me about everything. My parents had never been beside my side whenever I needed them to. I needed to go through every strict and tough education. I never had the time to enjoy anything like playing along with the peers that had the age as me."
"Haruka…" she interrupted his talked. She couldn't dare herself to talk about this matter anymore as she could only see sorrow and remorse beneath every word he said. His eyes were in lament; as if, he regretted being born in this world, as if he was weeping with sadness. Why?
"Were you lonely during that moment?" she asked. Haruka looked at her; slowly, he smiled faintly.
"Ah, probably so I guess." He muttered. The atmosphere suddenly became silent.
"What happened next?" Takane asked softly.
"Well, that time, I was thinking that if I always scored in class and be the number in every aspect, my parents would finally looked at me with the eyes of pleased and honored – seeing their only child excel in everything. At that very moment, I would always study and excelled in everything – from books to bats, from violin to trumpet, everything. Never once had I ever achieved lower than 90. When the time passed by, people in Kokonose and everyone would look up to me, described me as a genius in every league, calling me a prodigy in art. Their eyes were filled with pleased and honored. However, the real people that I hoped that would look at me with that kind of eyes never did. They didn't praised whenever I scored in my academics, the never proud of me whenever I got number one in every sport that I participated. I wondered – what should I do in order to get my parent's attention? Thus, during my high school years, I'd change. I dyed my hair to blonde and pierced my ears with lots of piercings. I abandoned all my studies and had some fun times with my peers. One day, I was caught copulating with some woman. Of course, my parent needed to come to school for telling them what I'd done in school." He stopped for a moment, clearing his throat. 'He sure had his tough moment in his past' Takane thought.
"Called me an idiot but I was really hoping and exciting when the teacher said that my parent would be coming to school to see me with the principal because never once my parent had ever come to any school-related conferences before. Nonetheless, I was too childish and naïve. The one who come entered the principal was neither my father nor my mother but it was my guardian. When I asked her where were my parent, she simply answered, "Your parent couldn't come to school because there were busy with their works". That instant I realized, whether I excelled in everything or totally a maniac, my parent didn't care about me at all. To them, I was simply the heir of their hospital. No matter how much struggle I went through or how hard I tried to seek my parent affection towards me, it just didn't go through. I gave up. When I reached back home, people were looking at me with a face of disappointment. I heard their whispers whispered, "The young master is such a retarded.", "what had happen to him? During the past, he never had such attitude." it was quite painful in the ears to hear them saying that kind of things to me but what could I say, I reaped what I sow. My grandfather called me and when I go to his room, he beaten me quite harsh, yelling, "how dare you mortify the name of Kokonose! You useless grandson! You foolish heir! Such a waste of my daughter giving birth to you when you acted like this!" I couldn't say anything because I knew the truth about my existence – an heir. I thought that it was the end when my grandfather beaten me but my father also beaten me quite ruthless. He hit me with a cane and his belt saying the he was such in disgrace after hearing my case from the principal. He even yelled at me that if I ever acted like that in school in the future, he would send me away in who knows where the place was. Feeling scared and powerless, I abide them. I continued back being the 'genius' – bleached back to my original hair color and undo the piercings. After I graduated from high school, I'd been ordered by my mother to continue my study in America as a medical student. Well, it was not like as if I could disobey them so I accepted without thinking any further. That's how I become a full-fledged doctor." He continued. She looked at him with a calm face. It was not like Haruka demanded sympathy from her as he was telling about his past.
"You're a nice child." Takane praised, holding his hand. He flabbergasted for a while when she suddenly held his hand gently. His face looked like as if he would cry any but he held back.
"I'm not that nice when I was a kid." He pouted, averted his eyes from hers. She laughed a little, knowing that Haruka could make such a cute expression. His face reddened, seeing Takane chuckled.
"You are you know. When I was a kid, I was nothing but a rebellious kid who liked nothing but playing games. I barely managed to graduate from high school since I was one hell of a gamer. I miss that moment though. Ever since I entered the society, I never had the time to play any games. So yeah." She babbled. Haruka listened to every word that she said.
Time passed by and finally she exited the ward. Before she exited, suddenly he tugged her sleeve. She looked at him – his face was intense – as if he was begging her to not let him go, leaving him all alone. She felt reluctant to leave when she saw his pity expression.
"I need to go now Haruka-kun." She told him. His grip was getting tighter.
"I know, but I don't want you to go. Stay with me, Takane." He spoke softly. She smiled.
"I need to check the other patients. They were waiting for me. You're also a doctor so you should know this." She tried to explain.
"I will release you if you obey my order." He uttered.
"What is it this time?" she asked, chuckled seeing his childish side.
"Kiss me." He told her, pointing his finger at his lips. Her face reddened, saying to him how bold of him saying that. He smirked.
"That's because I like you sensei." He confessed. He liked her? Her face was getting redder when he said that. Was he trying to tease her? Slowly, she neared his face to his, and touched his lips with hers. His heartbeat rose, she closed her eyes as she was kissing him. When she opened her eyes, she could see that all this time, Haruka didn't close his eyes and witnessed her clumsy kiss. She pushed him away roughly. He laughed when she acted like that. His face was also flushed. She couldn't help but to laugh together.
That kiss of his, apparently she didn't hate it at all. Deep inside her heart, she enjoyed kissing Haruka.
"Thanks sensei for the kiss." He smiled brighter than usual. The way his smile, laughter, everything was like a childlike way. Was it only her or did he try to act spoiled in front of her? She then walked away to exit the ward. Suddenly, he raised his voice saying,
"Please do consider my confession!" he said with a smile. "I…I'll." She replied, blushing. Soon, she exited the ward.
She walked towards her other patient's ward. Out of nowhere, Kisaragi approached. She was surprised about his presence. The last time she saw him, was it two weeks ago?
"Do you have a minute Enomoto-sensei?" he asked. She shook her head.
"I'm quite busy for a moment. I need to see my patients for check-ups. What's the matter Kisaragi-san?" she asked.
"Is that so? When can I meet you sensei? I want to have a private talk with you."
"Is this an urgent matter?"
"Somewhat. If you're busy, then nothing could be done. How about tomorrow, 10 a.m. at your office. It's about Kokonose." When she heard the word Kokonose, she knew it must be about his past.
"Roger that." She simply replied.
An hour had passed since Takane's visit. Haruka continued reading the book. The Count of Montecristo was mainly about vengeance and injustice punishment given upon a man called Edmond Dantes. Feeling betrayed and deceived, he seeks vengeance and karma towards three men that made his life in despair and miserable. As he read every page of the book, he only thought about one thing – Edmond and him were the same. They wished for a justice life – hoping that they could live in a normal and happy life. However, life was cruel, only misfortunes were ahead them. They gave up hoping for such impossible wish.
"What's with the long face Ha…ru…ka?" he twitched, feeling a sudden annoyance as he heard a familiar voice – Marry.
"What do you want bitch?" he replied roughly. Unlike Takane, he hated Marry. To him, Marry was the worst among the worst. The girl that made his life miserable – one of the three people who made his life suffers. Coincidence or not, apparently Edmond's misfortune was the same as his. Heh, how laughable.
