A/N – My apologies for the major delay in updating GoS. I updated BOTR's twice and DADWTF as well, I was ill, kids were ill, RL drama with ex husband *sigh*….anyway!

As you may or may not have noticed My usernamer name has changed. From ladyHlin to Sinnerlikeme. The links to my blog and tumblr accounts have been changed on my profile page here so you can still find me there too. This is all due to my RL drama with said ex husband and theres a post on my blog explaining the issue if you are so inclined.

This chapter is not beta'd. It's been pre read by AllAboutEric but all spelling and grammar issues are mine.

Disclaimer- SVM/TB are not mine. Only this plot.

I am not in a D/s relationship myself. I have a mighty interest in it, and have done for a long time. I have read and researched everything I write about. What I write is not indicative of an average D/s or BDSM couple. Every couple is different and their practices and routines are different. If you are going to try anything do your research, don't go into it blindly.

On with the smut….


Oh my God. I clicked it. I actually type in my information and hit send. I found this website a few days ago but spent most of my time looking at everyone else's profile while I was too paranoid about posting my own information to the site. Each person seemed to have different preferences. Some had huge lists of things they wanted to do again or try out. Some were just too outrageous to even contemplate.

But I did it. I filled in my information, registered as SubCurious. Don't ask me why, I couldn't really think of anything and it was the only thing that came to me. Once I confirmed my email address I was able to look through local profiles but I didn't recognise anyone on there. I wasn't confident enough yet to add my own picture to my profile. I didn't want people in my own town seeing me on a site like this and talking about it at the local bar. That would be embarrassing. I found I could go on to community listings too and was able to find out that once a month there was a play party held at the house of the person that ran the local community boards online.

From the first few times I learnt how to pleasure myself and after watching a few adult movies I'd known I liked things a little different. I would pinch my nipples harder than necessary getting off on the pain that seemed to make the pleasure greater. The movies I liked to watch now and again always had some sort of control theme about them. A dominate man, taking what he wanted from a woman who gave up her submission with consent.

Vanilla would no longer work for me I knew that.

Saturday afternoon became a tedious waiting game for me. I cleaned; checked emails. I tried to read a book; checked emails. I sat in the garden with a sweet tea; then checked emails. I knew He would send the email. I was being impatient and had to get out of the house and do something so I went out to my grocery shopping.

It was checking my emails when I got home when it arrived.

Enclosed in the email was an eating plan. I couldn't complain about that. It was balanced and healthy; a little more than I would normally eat but he also instructed me on exercise. I was told to go running three mornings a week and on the days I didn't run I was to go to Pilate's classes. He'd registered me with his own gym and my membership was already paid for. Everything conveniently seemed to fit around my work schedule. He explained that a healthy body meant a health mind; meaning I would have a clear head and make richer decisions for myself. I hoped my mind was already in that place, but I supposed this wouldn't hurt to try either way.

I didn't like the idea of running on the streets early mornings though, I know plenty of people do it but I wasn't comfortable with it. So while I was a member of the gym I thought I could just go running on a machine there instead. They had showers and plenty of space in the changing rooms so I was able to change and get ready for work from there.

He instructed me to be at His house at 7.30pm on Friday evening. Same attire as the Friday just gone; no panties and no bra and he would be sending me a package with essentials. The last and most irritating instruction he left in the email; not to touch myself in anyway until he allowed it on Friday. Every time I thought back to our first meeting at his house I skin felt on fire and I so desperately needed release. But I couldn't and I didn't. I didn't want to disappoint him. I knew he wouldn't be able to tell but I wouldn't be able to lie to him about it.

Work became monotonous during the week, my thoughts always leading back to Him.

Wednesday the package arrived. My assistant thrust the package at me as I came out of the elevator with a grin on her face, "Do you have an admirer? Who is he? Where did you meet him? Is he tall dark and gorgeous?"

I rolled my eyes at her insane questioning. It wasn't usual for me to get packages at work. I normally kept myself to myself at work, and wasn't the type to have flowers of gifts sent here either. Not that anyone ever did, not even my ex-husband. Not once had he thought of me during the day or randomly sent something to me just because he wanted to. So when this package arrived she couldn't contain her curiosity.

"No Holly. There is no admirer. No man to speak of. Men are a waste of my time to be completely honest; after Bill, do you really think I want to subject myself to that again?"

"Which is a shame….you don't know what you're missing Sook."

"Holly, seriously? I am missing nothing. Only some man that would treat me like crap, and think nothing of spending weekends at conferences that mean nothing rather than spending time with his wife, demand dinner on his table on his return from work with no thanks in return for me, and a lecture every time a vase or towel is out of place."

Holly rolled her own eyes at me and returned to her desk, while I walked past her to my own office.

I'm an Editor for Brigant Novels LTD so I generally spend most of my day reading potential books or reading and editing books already acquired by the company. But this week I found the words burring into one another, my concentration lacking and I was behind on my work. I had to get this under control. I didn't want my weekend sessions with Eric to interfere with my working week. This was about satisfying a need after years of going without and I didn't need it to become an obsession hat bled into my work.

This time I would choose a skirt that was a little longer than before. I wouldn't be as paranoid walking back to my car, especially in heels. In the same package as the house key had been a pair of heels I could only describe as sky scrapers. The platform was about an inch thick, which meant the heels themselves were about five inches in height! God only knows how I was going to walk in them. They were black, with a hint of a snake skin print on them but you could barely see it. The sole was red and they looked very expensive.

By the time this morning came around, Friday morning, my nerves were showing themselves. Last week I hadn't known that we would be doing something so intimate straight away. This time however I knew we would. I was nervous about what would happen. At the same time I knew that Eric would take it all away. I could feel as edgy as I wanted to right now, but I knew as soon as I was in His presence, hearing His voice, my nerves would melt away. I was willingly giving him control of my body and I could stop that at any time I needed; I had nothing to be nervous about.

Now I was out of the shower and fretting over what to wear. A pencil skirt was my brightest idea so far. I wanted a skirt that was a little longer than last week, but nothing too conservative. It was skin tight but also had ribbons from bottom to top at the back that looked like a corset fastening. I paired it with a red fitted blouse that I tucked into my skirt and the shoes made my legs look like they went on for miles.

I couldn't quite believe what I saw when I looked in the mirror. Some kind of sexy librarian or secretary was looking back at me. If not for the blue eyes and blonde hair I might not recognise myself. I walked around my room a little just to try out the heels. They weren't entirely uncomfortable I just needed to get used to them.

It was just after six in the evening and I needed to make my way to the car. I tied my hair up and to the side; another small instruction the His email held. I was already less nervous for tonight and more excited. Eric's email had instructed me not to touch myself at all during the week unless instructed otherwise. God it had been difficult. Thinking of what he'd done to me, and not being able to relieve the tension by giving myself release. It hadn't been too difficult, after telling myself I would be so wound up by Friday that whatever he chose to do to me would be well worth the wait.

I was halfway to His house when I got a text from Him.

Do not go to the play room. Stand in position in the living room until otherwise instructed.

He must be in the living room. Maybe he wants to test me? That I'm wearing what he asked? If I went straight to the playroom he wouldn't get a chance to really see the shoes he asked me to wear.

Once I pulled up on to his road I took a few minutes just to breathe and get myself under control. I was allowing him to do this; I gave my submission willingly. I would allow Him to take, instruct, and control me. I would be giving Him power over my body and mind. I had no reason to distrust that he would treat me with nothing but respect and follow the limits we'd set out.

I got out of the car and walked up to the front door. Slipping the key into the lock and opening the door I stepped in, closing the door behind me. I put the key in my pocket, took off my jacket and placed it on the coat hanger that was just inside the door. Then I walked into the living room; without looking to my left or right and keeping my eyes to the floor I stood in the spot He had pointed out last Friday. I kept my eyes on the floor and clasped my hands behind my back.

I could feel that he was in the room but I was unsure where. When he moved I heard his clothes shifting, and his shoes hit the floor, tapping across the wood flooring towards me. My heart rate picked up a little but I continued to breathe even and not move. My head was slightly bowed down and when he reached me his fingers touched my chin and moved it up raising my head.

"Do not bow your head to me. You are a confident beautiful woman Susannah, straighten your shoulders and raise your head. You don't need to lower your eyes unless I instruct you too. You can avert your eyes if you wish but it's not necessary."

His voice was calming, deep and soothing; a teacher giving instruction.

He walked around me while his left hand kept contact with my neck, shoulder and throat. When he reached behind me his hand left my neck and travelled down the centre of my back lightly pressing on my spine as he went. My eyes fluttered closed at his touch.

His hand continued further down my body and I felt his hand leave me as he bent down behind me. Both of his hands lightly touched my ankles, gently caressing the delicate skin there. He lingered there for a moment before he ran both his hands up the outside of my legs and when he reached the hem of my skirt he carried on, taking the skirt up my legs with his hands.

When he'd hitched up skirt up around my waist the palms of his hands touched my ass cheeks; needing them spreading them a little. The cool air hit me and the touch of him on my skin made me groan out loud before he said to me in his low silky voice, "I've had a very hard day today Susannah, do you want to know why?"

He hadn't told me I could speak. So I waited; craving his permission, needing to hear that voice again.

"You may speak Susannah." He said while he continued to caress my backside and thighs. I was open to him, and he was just watching my response to him as he spoke to me. Fire shot through me at the thought of what he was seeing.

"I-If it pleases you Sir." I barely mumbled out; my eyes closed the high I was feeling almost beginning to feel too much. I wanted his touch closer to my centre, closer to the fire. I needed him to put it out. A week without touching myself and I was delirious.

"Because all I could think about all day was this pussy right here," As He spoke both his thumbs moved up my inner thighs, and stroked my pussy from the outside spreading the growing wetness, "How it must be begging for someone to touch it; for me to touch it." I whimpered at the light touch and felt my knees go weak.

"Yes Sir. I need it." It sounded like I was whining I was sure. Like a petulant child and I shouldn't; I would get it when He allowed it.

He continued his teasing talk as he rose up from his position, his hands leaving my flesh and coming to rest on my shoulders. He lent forward and whispered in my ear.

"You can wait. Seeing that wet pussy and thinking about your hot, warm mouth has got me hard. I'm going to teach you how to use it, do you understand?"

My head nodded of its own accord. He was going to make me put his cock in my mouth. Oh god, I'd only ever done it a few times. William hated it; he'd said ladies didn't put things like that in their mouth. It was only when he'd had a few to drink that he would insist I do it.

He walked around me and stopped right in front of me, I kept my eyes on the floor. I had told him I'd only done this a few times and he was supposed to train me right? So I shouldn't feel like I had a million butterflies flying around my stomach right now.

"What color are we Susannah?" He asked sounding a little concerned.

"Erm, Green Sir." I bit my lip as I said it; I was green but just a little nervous of how I would be. I didn't want to disappoint him.

He ran his thumb over my jaw, pulled my lip from my teeth and ran his thumb over my lip while he said, "Don't be nervous Susannah. Everything will be fine and if you need to stop you only have to say Yellow or Red. I'm going to show you how I like it. I will teach you; I promise if it seems like it's too much for you I will put a stop to it."

He tipped my chin up to make me look at him. I got lost in his eyes; the concern I saw in them and the sureness that it would be ok. I nodded and said, "Yes Sir, I trust you."

He lent forward a pressed his lips to mine. There was no tongue, just a sweet accepting kiss on my lips and he pulled away.

"Good. I stopped you going to the playroom tonight because I wanted to show you how on some occasions this is how it will be. I know you won't see me during the working week so it won't be possible for you to learn my cues, to know when I need you, to learn the subtle hints and tells of my body, the way I will learn yours. Eventually my desires will become yours. If you are asked to stop here before the playroom you'll know I need something from you, you will be able to see me first and anticipate my needs." He spoke as he walked over to the sofa, pulled off a cushion before coming back over and placing the cushion in front of me.

"Get on your knees Susannah and take off my belt."

I slowly went down to my knees on the small pillow in front of me and pressed my fingers to his pants. I paused briefly suddenly my mind filled with images of what it would look like. I hoped he was more substantial than William. God he was such a disappointment. But then if he knew what he was doing then it wouldn't matter right? And god I wanted it in my mouth, so bad. I wanted it to fill me; in every way possible.

I took the leather of the belt and undid it pulling the leather through the loops of his pants and handing it to him when he gestured with his hand.

"Undo my pants and take out my cock Susannah." His voice suddenly became slightly strained. I could see from the tightness in his pants he was already hard and it looked much more substantial than William had been. I really wished I could stop comparing but it was hard not to. I unzipped his slacks, and pulled them down a little and apart. Good lord he'd gone commando. Jesus fuck…how was that meant to fit in my mouth? My jaw was going to ache for sure.

He used his index finger to tip up my chin as he said, "Open up Beauty."

I was momentarily shocked at the use of the word beauty as I looked up at him; my tongue snaked out touching the underside of his cock. I felt it twitch and I pulled back. I wet my lips a bit more and touched my tongue again to the underside of his erection and moved forward to slide him into my mouth. His hands came to rest on my head as I wrapped my lips around his hardness. I heard him let out a small moan as I flicked the tip of my tongue around the head; his erection was solid and I could feel the veins and ridges as I explored him with my tongue.

"Use your hands at the base where your mouth won't reach. Put pressure on your hold and go with the same motion as your mouth."

I hollowed my cheeks and sucked him hard into my mouth while I worked both my hands at the base of his erection, pushing and pulling his flesh toward my lips. The pressure of my hands and mouth must have been working for him because what I can only describe as a growl rumbled in his chest as he wrapped his fingers in my hair and began to tug on it, guiding my head where He wanted it to go.

"Do that again." I sucked him hard again and wrapped my tongue around the head at the same time.

"Again."

I did; again and again I sucked hard on him while I ran my tongue down his shaft, around the head as he guided my head back and forth. His fingers tightened in my hair, the pressure on my scalp was strong but I liked it, I liked what I was doing to him. The reaction I was getting out of him just for doing this was amazing to me. His breathing was heavy but he didn't say anything more. I carried on with what seemed to work before, watching his face as I did it; seeing his eyes go lazy with his impending orgasm.

"Move your hands; rest them on the top of my thighs if you need to." I moved them to rest where he'd said as he took hold of his cock with his own hand, while his other stayed in my hair. My brow furrowed, it seemed like he was preparing for the final stage, to stay in my mouth and cum in me or on me. I wasn't sure how this would end, but I felt like I needed at least a small breather, just to carry on.

"Susannah, is everything ok?" He asked concerned with the turn of my features he pulled out of my mouth to let me speak. I took a deep breath and swallowed; letting out a deep breath.

"I am now Sir, I just needed a breather."

He nodded his agreement before continuing, "Breathe through your nose. Take deep breaths and breathe through your nose and you'll be fine. What color are we?"

"Green, Sir." I responded with confidence.

I rested my palms on his thighs with my fingers gripping his slacks. With his hand still twisted in my hair he guided his erection back to my waiting mouth with his other fist. He had beautiful hands. Seeing him gripping his cock in that fist was erotic and made my core burn even more for his touch with those fingers.

He moved both his hands, rapidly pulling my hair back into a makeshift pony tail in his palms and wrapping my hair around one fist while his other took hold of his arousal again. He thrust into my mouth a little hard; a little faster. I was no longer controlling my own movements; his hand in my hair controlling the movement of my head; his hips and his own hand controlling the rhythm his erection entered my mouth. He slowed down to a more sedate pace which allowed me to catch my breath again taking a deep breath through my nose and back out calmly.

"I'm going to try something now Susannah. You just need to stay relaxed; I won't go further than you look comfortable with. When my cock hits the back of your throat I want you to swallow. Just keep using that swallow reflex and breathing evenly through your nose. Are you still green?" I couldn't comprehend how his voice was still so sure, and steady. I hadn't touched myself for a week and I knew the moment he began to touch me I would be insane. I nodded my head at his question while his erection was still and throbbing in my mouth.

"Good. You've done so well so far my Beauty." He muttered as he began to push forward. It wasn't the nicest feeling in the world having the back of your throat filled up but it wasn't the most uncomfortable either. When the head of his arousal began to touch the back of my throat I started to swallow. That wasn't easy at all. I'd never tried to do what he was making me do in my whole life and trying to swallow the head of his cock was difficult. But I wanted to do this for him; I wanted badly to make him feel good if this was what it would do. My eyes began to water and the fluid fell down my face as he pushed in further. I got so far before I began to gag a bit more and he pulled back slightly.

"Ok that's enough. You did very well Susannah." His fingers brushed the side of my face wiping away the tears; his palm rested on my cheek and I leaned into it caught up in the praise he'd given me for what I'd managed to accomplish so far.

He reaffirmed his grip on my hair and started sliding back and forth into my mouth again. Picking up the pace as he had it before; hitting the back of my throat and before I could think to swallow again he would pull back and start over. His control was amazing; knowing when to pull back, how far to go before I would react.

The look on his face as he took pleasure in my mouth was indescribable; there was this fierceness in his eyes. He looked like a man holding back but was in control of it. I gagged a little but he didn't go further than that, some spit escaped my mouth and went down the side of my face. As I looked up at him again I moaned out around his cock; seeing what this did to him, watching as he took pleasure from something I gave him was such a turn on.

As I moaned around his length a loud groan rose up through his chest and he began to move faster before saying, "I'm going to cum Susannah; I want you to swallow everything I give you."

His hips became faster as he thrust into my mouth and his movements became a little rougher. I felt it before it happened; his cock; wet and slippery in my mouth pulsed and throbbed on my tongue and swelled a little before he released into me. It was warm and thick; cum shooting to the back of my throat as I tried to swallow all of it. I wasn't fast enough and with his erection still in my mouth there wasn't enough room for everything, the overflow spilling from my mouth to the side.

"Oh Susannah you look so beautiful," My eyes shot up to meet his as he looked down on me; on my knees with his cock in my mouth; his cum making a trail down my chin, "That blush on your cheeks and my cum on your skin." As he said it his thumb moved down my chin and gathered the cum that had spilt out. He pushed it up to my lips as he still thrust slowly within the warmth of my mouth. I felt him twitch in my mouth again and continued to look directly at him as his thumb entered my mouth while I swallowed what he gave me; caressing his length with my tongue as he began to go flaccid. I licked and sucked him clean of any fluid I could before he pulled away from me.

After he sorted himself out and put himself back into his pants he offered me his hand to get off the pillow I was kneeling on. I felt stiff as I rose up and lowered my face knowing I probably looked a mess. My mascara had most likely run down my face and I wouldn't be surprised if I had racoon eyes.

He pushed his finger under my chin and lifted it up before saying, "Don't hide from me Susannah. You still look beautiful to me," he wiped away some lingering wetness under my eyes, "This is because of what you did for me," and he used his hands to brush away the hair around my face, "You look beautiful this way because you gave yourself to me, willingly and you trusted me with that."

There was something there in his eyes but I couldn't place it, couldn't figure him out. He bent down slightly and placed a kiss on my forehead.

"You did amazingly well Susannah," he said as he moved away from me, "You may go to the restroom and freshen up if you need to. I'm not done with you yet. Meet me in the playroom in 15 minutes." He left me to go and sort myself out while he went through to the kitchen.

I made my way down the hall, went past the playroom to the room he'd told me was the sub's bedroom and used the restroom in there.

I stood in front of the sink with my hands rested on the edge for a moment and took a few deep breaths. I could still taste him on my lips; a little salty but not disagreeable. It was different, much different to how it had been with William. I couldn't help but compare my experiences as I was having them now to the only thing I'd known for years. William was dull, uninventive, and boring. The act I'd just performed on Eric exciting, new and energizing and I wanted more; I wanted to touch him and for him to touch me. I wanted skin on skin, and everything in between.

I turned on the faucet for the cold water and splashed some on my face; instantly feeling refreshed, ready to carry on. I wiped my face on a towel and straightened my clothes. When I got to the playroom I took my shoes off at the door and placed them neatly by the wall. Then I began to strip off my clothes, folding them neatly before placing them on top of a small table next to the bed. When I was done I went to the spot in the middle of the room he'd told me about last week. I got down on my knees, shoulder width apart and locked my hands behind my head with my elbows out.

I was still in awe at what I had been able to do for Him. He'd obviously needed it before coming in here. He'd said I didn't need to lower my eyes around him and I resolved not to; if I was able to get a good look at him, learn his body language and his cues the way he'd spoken about, I might be able to sense his need for these things. I wanted to please him; I wanted to make him feel good. He was going out of his way to train me and he'd clearly told me he wouldn't take another submissive. It had taken a few months of play parties to get his attention and get him to at least talk about a contract with me. I couldn't afford to make any mistakes.

I wanted to be His; I wanted Him to be my Master. I took a deep breath to prepare myself for the next few hours as I heard his footsteps approaching the door.

"You can get up Susannah. I want you to go over to the whipping bench on kneel on the step. I'm going to teach you the difference between a punishment and reward."


A/N - Sorry! Just know that the next chapter will start straight from the play room!...

This was my first blow job scene in any of my fics' so let me know what you thought and review!