~2~

After a seemingly very long dinner and lengthy goodbyes Peter was ushering my father and I into a car. I purposely sat opposite my father so there was a seat free beside me for Peter, as the car began to move off he sighed and I saw Peter's Politian mask drop as well as my fathers' unswervingly happy expression to one of relief. "Well I'll be dodging these dinner parties with the power of hindsight." Peter sighed, tilting his head back in his seat; father grunted his agreement with his eyes closed.

"I'd forgotten what arrogant pigs my old colleagues were" he frowned deeply

"And those women are ghastly" I added, in some ways just to let my own thoughts be known, lest Peter think I'd want to go again. He glanced at me and gave an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry I dragged you in there, I had no idea it would be so dull" he was sweet but I was overall glad I'd come. It had revealed things about us I'd never noticed before if nothing else.

"Personally I think the pair of you handled yourselves extremely well and I see no reason for my chaperoning on your future excursions to these political parties." Father added with a smile

"No sir, I'm serious, I never want to attend another of these evenings as long as I live!" Peter exclaimed making my father smile ruefully.

"Do you think Susan and Lucy will still be awake? I haven't seen them in a while" I asked as we got closer to Finchley, Peter checked his watch and gave the driver his old address to visit his family.

When he unlocked the door it was like he'd unleashed hell, all I could hear was Susan screaming down the stairs into the hall and Edmund yelling back. For a moment, Peter, father and I just stood and watched until Susan slammed a door that shook the house and Edmund stomped loudly up the stairs to carry on yelling. "Oi!" Peter yelled, his deep voice reverberating through the house so it fell silent, I even heard the lock of an upstairs door click as it opened.

"Peter?" Lucy's voice called from the upstairs landing

"Hello Lu" I said warmly as she appeared at the top of the stairs. She rushed down the steps and jumped up as Peter caught her in a tight hug, ruffling her hair before he put her down. She rushed to me and hugged me tightly around my middle. Slowly Edmund descended the stairs with a guilty look on his face, to which peter simply raised his eyebrows as if to say 'well?'

"Susan was being spoilt, wouldn't even let me listen to the radio because she HAD to read sitting right next to the only radio in the whole house." He said sullenly. Peter sighed and motioned to Edmund that they had company as he hopped up the stairs, taking two at a time and then knocking gently on Susan's door. We heard it click open and then close again when he was inside leaving a slightly awkward silence on father, Edmund, Lucy and I.

"So is your mum home?" Dad asked Lucy, she shook her head and glanced at Ed. She never had been very comfortable with my father, he was the only middle aged man around her these days with their father in the war and most of his friends, I think she thought him a bit strict.

"She went to Mrs Parkinson's house, her only son, died in Normandy and she doesn't want to be alone. They're taking it in turns to look after her." He gave a sideways glance at Lucy who looked exceptionally downcast. I felt that familiar guilt set in, I knew it was stupid and that I wasn't allowed to fight anyway but still, the guilt was there.

"Oh no, I knew his father well, I should… go and see what we can do." Father said slowly, nodding to himself as though to confirm with himself. "Will you be alright to wait here for me, Ebony?" he asked, I nodded solemnly, I knew that Peter had gone to school with Mark Parkinson too, he couldn't have known yet. Father nodded again and then left, shutting the door behind him, I talked to Lucy for a while, telling her about the dinner and all the snooty people we saw. She giggled and smiled until Peter came back downstairs followed by Susan, he looked a bit depressed so I could only guess that Susan had told him about Mark.

"You're dad?" he asked, sitting down on the sofa beside me

"Gone to visit Mrs Parkinson." He nodded slowly, his fist curling on his knee as he thought of it. I knew he'd wanted to fight, but his mother simply couldn't afford it. At the moment his was the only decent income for her and the three children. Susan could technically get a job but only in the factories like their mother and then she'd have to leave her education. I reached for his hand and carefully uncurled his fingers with mine while Susan engaged Lucy in conversation. I knew how Peter hated any of his siblings to see him weak so I stood quietly and wordlessly pulled his hand towards the kitchen, he followed me and I heard the conversation in the living room turn as we left.

"Why are they going to the kitchen?" Lucy asked, interrupting Susan

"Their hungry" Susan said shortly as excuse

"But they just went to dinner!" Lucy exclaimed as I closed the door. Peter was leaning back against the worktop, pinching the bridge of his nose and looking at the floor. Still not wanting to speak, because what do you say to someone who'll never see their childhood friend again? I put hand on Peter's shoulder and he unfolded his arms as I moved closer to hug his around the waist, I felt him bury his face in the side of my neck, the side I'd pinned up in curls because I felt warm tears on my shoulder and his hot breath on my neck, he hugged me tighter for a second and then I heard a deep, ominous rumble from outside. It sounded like a wailing siren coupled with a hundred klaxons.

"Shit!" Peter cursed, moving me back by my waist and rubbing his eyes as he rushed back to the living room where all his sibling looked to be frozen in fear. "GET OUT!" I've never heard his voice as loud as then, he sounded angry though I knew he was only scarred. Susan grabbed Lucy and rushed towards the kitchen, past me through the back door towards the bomb shelter.

"Dad!" Edmund yelled, halfway to the kitchen door and rushed back to grab the family photo off the dresser while Peter bellowed at him to get out. As he scrambled to get back out the house shook as a bomb exploded somewhere near. Peter grabbed Edmund by his collar and yanked him back to the kitchen still holding Ed's shirt in one hand he grabbed mine with his other and pulled me out into the garden as the ground shook again. It was dark out and the sky went momentarily while as we ran. Susan threw the door to the shelter open and peter pushed me in with one hand and then Edmund before jumping in behind us and closing the door, bolting it and pulling the sand bags in front.

"Are you okay?" I asked after a beat of silence, he nodded and looked at each of us to check we were alright.

"What about mum and Mr Long?" Lucy asked timidly, looking from Peter to Susan.

"They'll be in Mrs Parkinson's shelter" Peter nodded. Then pushed himself up off his knees shakily, moving past Susan to one of the hard, lumpy beds. Sighing he laid back on it and listened to the sound of bombs going off close and in the distance. Edmund moved towards the emergency box, setting down the family portrait and taking out the water provisions he took a sip and then climbed up to the bunk above Peter's.

Susan moved over to the other bunk and sat on the bottom one, retrieving a book from under the mattress where I assumed she'd stowed it last time and Lucy glanced between her and Peter before scrambling onto the foot of Peter's bed. He pulled himself up with his legs over the edge letting Lucy lay down with her head in his lap. He sat quietly, staring off into space while stroking her long golden hair, the exact same shade as his. Sighing I climb up onto the bed beside Peter and rest my head on his shoulder, watching his hand in Lucy's hair rhythmically. I'm almost asleep when I hear Susan speak softly.

"How was the dinner party?"

"Bash your brains out boring" Peter said dully, I could tell by his tone that he was rolling his eyes. I didn't open mine, all my limbs felt heavy, like they were filled with led from the stress of the day. And what if my father had already left Mrs Parkinson's house when the attack hit? What if Mrs Pevensie had or if they didn't get to the shelter in time?

"Did Ebony enjoy?" Susan asked quietly, apparently assuming I was asleep

"No, I think we'll both be avoiding them in the future. Even Arthur said he didn't want to go again and he's had a lifetime of them." I felt Peter's fingers ghost across my wrist and then slowly up my arm, it tickled and it felt nice, I couldn't help the small smile, even though my drowsiness made my eyelids heavy.

"Peter what are you going to do with your life?" Susan asked suddenly, I felt Peter look up quickly

"What do you mean?" he asked in confusion

"Well, I know you and Ebony get along but… I don't understand why our parents betrothed you two" Susan said and I could tell by her tone she was frowning and shaking her head.

"Because she's Arthur's only daughter, she didn't have a mother like we did Su and Arthur needed to know someone would take care of her," Peter shrugged like he'd explained this a hundred times over

"It just seems so old fashioned, I mean, women can vote now! She should choose her own husband and you your wife" Susan persisted. Peter shrugged again

"If things were different maybe it would matter but as things stand, it really doesn't matter to me. I like to have her near, it's hard to explain Sue but I like knowing she's there. She's comforting, she's fun, she's cleaver and obviously beautiful," I could feel his breath on my face and knew he was looking down at me. "If I had to choose someone to marry, it'd still be her, so it really makes no difference to me and it helps Arthur sleep. I suppose if she came to me and said she didn't want to marry me I'd have to deal with it… but I'd make sure she was safe with whoever she chose, I'd never just let her go into an unknown."

"Do you love her Peter?" Susan asked gently, I suddenly felt very awake. I need to know what he said.

"Sue, I'm barely twenty. I'm not even sure what romantic love is… I have nothing to compare us to and… I've asked myself this a hundred times already but I just don't know. I mean, I've read the books and poems about what love is but it's all just flowery uselessness, I mean poets say love is like being lifted up on a cloud but how the hell do they know what that would feel like?" I felt disappointed, it felt like me heart had sunk to my stomach, all I could think was 'it feels like all you need is that one person Peter'. Because I knew what love felt like, I knew I was in love with Peter, I knew he loved me but apparently he wasn't in love with me. My eyes stung and I felt cold despite being cuddled under his arm. It was like he'd buried me in ice, cold hard ice.