My heart is racing trough my chest when Jeremy walks in.
I'm afraid, scared that I'm going to hurt him, I don't trust myself right now.
My headache is almost killing me right now and I can barely tolerate the hunger for blood.
' Easy Elena, you can do this.' I say to myself.
' Elena.' Jeremy says, then he runs towards me and throws his arms around me.
With him hugging me I have to pinch my jaws together.
I can hear his heartbeat and the blood that's flooding through his veins and I'm so hungry that I'm barely able to resist my cravings.
' Jeremy, easy.' I manage to say with my jaws still pinched together. ' I can hardly control myself.'
Jeremy lets go of me and takes a few steps back, startled, but it seems like he doesn't fear me.
' Sorry Elena.' He sighs. ' I forgot for a minute, I'm just so happy to see that you are still alive.'
I can see at his face how relieved he is.
' When I saw Rick and I figured out that he died, I thought that you were dead to.' He goes on. ' Oh, Elena, I was so scared.'
' Wait a minute.' I interrupt him. ' You saw Rick?'
' I think it was Rick's ghost.' Jeremy says. ' He came out the middle of nowhere, he suddenly just stood there, right in front of me.'
' What did he want?' I ask curious.
' He just wanted to say goodbye to me.' Jeremy answers. ' Before he moved on.'
' How are you dealing with it?' I ask.
' I think it sucks, it hurts, we already lost so much loved ones.' Jeremy replies. ' And now all we have left is each other.'
' Jeremy, I'm not going to complete the transition.' I confess.
' What are you talking about, Elena?' Jeremy asks, his face suddenly filled with fear.
' I'm going to let myself die.' I say.
' No, Elena, you can't leave me on my own.' Jeremy says panicking. ' Please, don't let yourself die.'
' Damon or Stefan can take the pain away from you, Jer.' I say. ' If you don't want to deal with it.'
' I don't want them to compel me, Elena!' Jeremy jells, now furious. ' The only thing I want is that you complete the transition so you don't have to die!'
' Calm down, Jer.' I say. ' You'll be fine, I just never wanted this.'
' I didn't want this for you either, Elena.' Jeremy says. ' But it is what it is, so deal with it, please, deal with it.'
I look at Stefan and Damon for some help, but they are just sitting there, watching me and Jeremy arguing.
' I don't want to kill anyone.' I try.
' You won't have to kill, Elena, that's where blood bags are for.' Jeremy says.
' What if I can't control myself.' I say.
' You can control yourself, Elena, you just were able to control yourself when I was hugging you.' Jeremy replies. ' And we all have your back, the moment you lose control, there will be two Salvatore brothers to drag you away and then I'm not mentioning Caroline or Bonnie.'
I sigh, I don't have more arguments and if I don't go through with the transition, the last hours of my life I will be feeling the guilt of leaving Jeremy on his own.
' Ok, I'll complete the transition.' I give in. ' Bring me a blood bag already.'
Stefan is standing up already when Jeremy tells him to wait, then he turns back to me.
' Elena, if you become a vampire, I want you to transition by my blood.' He says.
' Jeremy, I can't do that.' I say shocked. ' What if I lose control? I could kill you.'
' If you can't control yourself, there will still be one of the Salvatore brothers to drag you away from me.' Jeremy replies.
' No, Jeremy, she's right, you can't desire from her that she transitions with your blood.' Stefan says. ' If she can't control herself, you could be dead in a second.'
' Don't be so ridiculous, how should she feel if you don't trust her already, she isn't even a vampire yet.' Damon says. ' I think she can control herself, she's been able to control herself until now and she's been able to resist my charms since the first time we met.'
' You didn't have to mention the last part.' I reply.
But I can't help it that there's a grin on my face by what he just said.
' Ok Jer, but there will be conditions to it.' I say. ' Just the one sip I need to complete the transition and when I say you have to leave, you leave.'
He nods. ' Sounds fair to me.'
' I'm out.' Stefan says. ' I can't watch this, and it's not about you Elena, I'm just scared that I won't be able to control myself, ripper detoxification isn't completed yet.'
' I get it.' I answer, while walking towards him and pressing a quick kiss on his lips. ' You can go, I'll see you later.'
He nods to Jeremy and Damon, then he's gone.
' Damon.' I say, while turning myself towards him. ' If anything goes wrong, if I can't control myself, I want you to drag me away from him as quick and far as possible.'
' Your wish, my demand.' He replies.
' Are you ready?' I ask Jeremy.
' As ready as I'll ever be.' He answers.
He takes a kitchen knife and makes a small cut in his middle finger.
The moment I see the blood welling up out of the freshly made cut, it takes all the willpower I have to not attack him.
' Slow, Elena, slow.' Damon says calmly. ' You can do this, I trust you.'
Slowly, with my jaws pinched together, I walk towards Jeremy.
I'm scared, but the curiosity about what the blood would taste like is stronger.
Carefully I take Jeremy's hand in mine and I sip the few drops of blood from his finger.
It tastes delicious, it tastes like more, every fiber in my entity is vibrating, screaming for more.
I never felt so strong, so powerful, so good and alive as in this very moment and it takes me every inch of power, every inch of willpower I have to pull back from Jeremy and not attack him.
But I can and I pull back, the taste of his blood still trembling in my mouth.
The look on the faces of Damon and Jeremy give me the power to resist longer.
' Jer, now please go.' I say.
I only have to say it once, he turns around and walks away and it takes every inch of power to not go after him and kill him.
I sigh relieved when I hear the front door closing.
Slowly I breath in and out a few times, until I have the feeling that I can manage myself again.
' You did surprisingly good.' Damon says, while coming towards me. ' How are you feeling?'
' Still hungry.' I say. ' I can't feel anything but hunger.'
' That's normal.' Damon says. ' Wait here, I'll be right back.'
He's back before I notice it, I did barely see him move, he's holding a bag of blood in his hand.
' That was fast.' I say, trying to keep distracted from the red liquid in the bag.
' You can do that to now.' Damon says grinning. ' But now you first have to eat, I bet you are starving.'
He opens up the bag of blood and gives it to me.
' Easy, Elena, try do drink it slow.' Damon says, watching every move I make.
Carefully I take a sip from the blood bag, it's easier than I thought it would be, this blood doesn't taste as good as the blood from Jeremy.
' Jeremy's blood tasted better.' I say.
' That's because this isn't fresh blood.' Damon explains. ' What makes it easier to control yourself.'
' I notice.' I say, while taking another sip of blood.
' But the difference isn't that big.' Damon says. ' What blood type does Jeremy have?'
' A positive.' I answer. ' Why?'
' I brought you O negative.' Damon says. ' Oblivious not your favorite.'
I give the blood bag back to Damon when it's empty.
' Feeling better now?' He asks.
' The hunger is still here, but it's less.' I reply.
' It will become much easier to inhibit the hunger in a while.' Damon says.
' I don't like how I'm feeling now.' I say.
' Tell me, how do you feel?' He asks.
' Scared, or even terrified, but also exited, happy, alive.' I say. ' But it all feels so different then the feelings that I know.'
' That's because your emotions are intensified, Elena.' Damon says. ' That's a vampire thing and it will always stay that way as long as you don't turn it off, which I sincerely discourage.'
I laugh. ' You are the perfect person to tell me that.'
He shrugs. ' Someone has to take care of you.'
' You are right, thank you.' I say. ' But Damon, there is something I want to ask you.'
' Then ask me.' He says, while sitting down on the couch. ' What's on your mind?'
' Why did you make me forget?' I ask.
Thanks for reading. Review if you liked it or if you have any ideas where I can go to with this story.
