My heart is racing trough my chest when Jeremy walks in.

I'm afraid, scared that I'm going to hurt him, I don't trust myself right now.

My headache is almost killing me right now and I can barely tolerate the hunger for blood.

' Easy Elena, you can do this.' I say to myself.

' Elena.' Jeremy says, then he runs towards me and throws his arms around me.

With him hugging me I have to pinch my jaws together.

I can hear his heartbeat and the blood that's flooding through his veins and I'm so hungry that I'm barely able to resist my cravings.

' Jeremy, easy.' I manage to say with my jaws still pinched together. ' I can hardly control myself.'

Jeremy lets go of me and takes a few steps back, startled, but it seems like he doesn't fear me.

' Sorry Elena.' He sighs. ' I forgot for a minute, I'm just so happy to see that you are still alive.'

I can see at his face how relieved he is.

' When I saw Rick and I figured out that he died, I thought that you were dead to.' He goes on. ' Oh, Elena, I was so scared.'

' Wait a minute.' I interrupt him. ' You saw Rick?'

' I think it was Rick's ghost.' Jeremy says. ' He came out the middle of nowhere, he suddenly just stood there, right in front of me.'

' What did he want?' I ask curious.

' He just wanted to say goodbye to me.' Jeremy answers. ' Before he moved on.'

' How are you dealing with it?' I ask.

' I think it sucks, it hurts, we already lost so much loved ones.' Jeremy replies. ' And now all we have left is each other.'

' Jeremy, I'm not going to complete the transition.' I confess.

' What are you talking about, Elena?' Jeremy asks, his face suddenly filled with fear.

' I'm going to let myself die.' I say.

' No, Elena, you can't leave me on my own.' Jeremy says panicking. ' Please, don't let yourself die.'

' Damon or Stefan can take the pain away from you, Jer.' I say. ' If you don't want to deal with it.'

' I don't want them to compel me, Elena!' Jeremy jells, now furious. ' The only thing I want is that you complete the transition so you don't have to die!'

' Calm down, Jer.' I say. ' You'll be fine, I just never wanted this.'

' I didn't want this for you either, Elena.' Jeremy says. ' But it is what it is, so deal with it, please, deal with it.'

I look at Stefan and Damon for some help, but they are just sitting there, watching me and Jeremy arguing.

' I don't want to kill anyone.' I try.

' You won't have to kill, Elena, that's where blood bags are for.' Jeremy says.

' What if I can't control myself.' I say.

' You can control yourself, Elena, you just were able to control yourself when I was hugging you.' Jeremy replies. ' And we all have your back, the moment you lose control, there will be two Salvatore brothers to drag you away and then I'm not mentioning Caroline or Bonnie.'

I sigh, I don't have more arguments and if I don't go through with the transition, the last hours of my life I will be feeling the guilt of leaving Jeremy on his own.

' Ok, I'll complete the transition.' I give in. ' Bring me a blood bag already.'

Stefan is standing up already when Jeremy tells him to wait, then he turns back to me.

' Elena, if you become a vampire, I want you to transition by my blood.' He says.

' Jeremy, I can't do that.' I say shocked. ' What if I lose control? I could kill you.'

' If you can't control yourself, there will still be one of the Salvatore brothers to drag you away from me.' Jeremy replies.

' No, Jeremy, she's right, you can't desire from her that she transitions with your blood.' Stefan says. ' If she can't control herself, you could be dead in a second.'

' Don't be so ridiculous, how should she feel if you don't trust her already, she isn't even a vampire yet.' Damon says. ' I think she can control herself, she's been able to control herself until now and she's been able to resist my charms since the first time we met.'

' You didn't have to mention the last part.' I reply.

But I can't help it that there's a grin on my face by what he just said.

' Ok Jer, but there will be conditions to it.' I say. ' Just the one sip I need to complete the transition and when I say you have to leave, you leave.'

He nods. ' Sounds fair to me.'

' I'm out.' Stefan says. ' I can't watch this, and it's not about you Elena, I'm just scared that I won't be able to control myself, ripper detoxification isn't completed yet.'

' I get it.' I answer, while walking towards him and pressing a quick kiss on his lips. ' You can go, I'll see you later.'

He nods to Jeremy and Damon, then he's gone.

' Damon.' I say, while turning myself towards him. ' If anything goes wrong, if I can't control myself, I want you to drag me away from him as quick and far as possible.'

' Your wish, my demand.' He replies.

' Are you ready?' I ask Jeremy.

' As ready as I'll ever be.' He answers.

He takes a kitchen knife and makes a small cut in his middle finger.

The moment I see the blood welling up out of the freshly made cut, it takes all the willpower I have to not attack him.

' Slow, Elena, slow.' Damon says calmly. ' You can do this, I trust you.'

Slowly, with my jaws pinched together, I walk towards Jeremy.

I'm scared, but the curiosity about what the blood would taste like is stronger.

Carefully I take Jeremy's hand in mine and I sip the few drops of blood from his finger.

It tastes delicious, it tastes like more, every fiber in my entity is vibrating, screaming for more.

I never felt so strong, so powerful, so good and alive as in this very moment and it takes me every inch of power, every inch of willpower I have to pull back from Jeremy and not attack him.

But I can and I pull back, the taste of his blood still trembling in my mouth.

The look on the faces of Damon and Jeremy give me the power to resist longer.

' Jer, now please go.' I say.

I only have to say it once, he turns around and walks away and it takes every inch of power to not go after him and kill him.

I sigh relieved when I hear the front door closing.

Slowly I breath in and out a few times, until I have the feeling that I can manage myself again.

' You did surprisingly good.' Damon says, while coming towards me. ' How are you feeling?'

' Still hungry.' I say. ' I can't feel anything but hunger.'

' That's normal.' Damon says. ' Wait here, I'll be right back.'

He's back before I notice it, I did barely see him move, he's holding a bag of blood in his hand.

' That was fast.' I say, trying to keep distracted from the red liquid in the bag.

' You can do that to now.' Damon says grinning. ' But now you first have to eat, I bet you are starving.'

He opens up the bag of blood and gives it to me.

' Easy, Elena, try do drink it slow.' Damon says, watching every move I make.

Carefully I take a sip from the blood bag, it's easier than I thought it would be, this blood doesn't taste as good as the blood from Jeremy.

' Jeremy's blood tasted better.' I say.

' That's because this isn't fresh blood.' Damon explains. ' What makes it easier to control yourself.'

' I notice.' I say, while taking another sip of blood.

' But the difference isn't that big.' Damon says. ' What blood type does Jeremy have?'

' A positive.' I answer. ' Why?'

' I brought you O negative.' Damon says. ' Oblivious not your favorite.'

I give the blood bag back to Damon when it's empty.

' Feeling better now?' He asks.

' The hunger is still here, but it's less.' I reply.

' It will become much easier to inhibit the hunger in a while.' Damon says.

' I don't like how I'm feeling now.' I say.

' Tell me, how do you feel?' He asks.

' Scared, or even terrified, but also exited, happy, alive.' I say. ' But it all feels so different then the feelings that I know.'

' That's because your emotions are intensified, Elena.' Damon says. ' That's a vampire thing and it will always stay that way as long as you don't turn it off, which I sincerely discourage.'

I laugh. ' You are the perfect person to tell me that.'

He shrugs. ' Someone has to take care of you.'

' You are right, thank you.' I say. ' But Damon, there is something I want to ask you.'

' Then ask me.' He says, while sitting down on the couch. ' What's on your mind?'

' Why did you make me forget?' I ask.


Thanks for reading. Review if you liked it or if you have any ideas where I can go to with this story.