Trigger Warning for Suicidal Thoughts and a Suicide Attempt! If you cannot read this chapter, please feel free to PM me and I will be more than happy to summarize for you. Everyone has been fairly warned!
Huntress of Love: Chapter 2
"Good afternoon Miss Rose, please come in and make yourself comfortable." Dr. Ozpin greets her in his normal calm manner. Ruby smiles politely in return as she moves past him and into his spacious office. She's always liked how calm and soothing this place has always been to her, and how kind Dr. Ozpin has always been to her. Especially since she is a murderer.
"Ruby, is something troubling you?" Ruby sighs in irritation. Her facial expression gave her away again, like always. Penny and Cinder both love to tease her about the fact that she can't lie worth a crap, and even Neo has joined in on picking on her. Taking a seat, she prepares herself for the grilling she is about to get.
"Ruby, I cannot in good conscious sign off on you attending Beacon University if I feel like you are not being honest with me." That gets her attention. Her goal for the last three years has been to attend one of the most prestigious schools in the world for law, and she is far too close now to lose it all because of her stupid face.
"I've been thinking about the accident a lot lately Doc." She replies softly.
"Well then Ruby, let's talk about it. But this time, why don't you run me through the night it happened. Let's see if we can't get to the bottom of your concerns."
Ruby sighs once more as she closes her eyes. She hates reliving one of the worst nights of her life, if not the worst. But she knows if she doesn't, he won't sign off saying that she isn't a threat to herself or others. Taking a deep breath, she opens her eyes as she looks over at Dr. Ozpin before she begins to speak.
"It was after softball practice. Mom had to come and pick me up because my older brother got held up at work…"
"Hey mom!" Ruby Rose waves as she spots her mom's car in the dim twilight. Looking over, she smiles at her friend and teammate Emerald Sustrai, who is gathering her gear up. "Are you sure you don't want a ride Em?"
Emerald smiles as she settles her bag onto her back. "I'll be fine Ruby, really! I live just on the other side of the practice fields. I'll be home before you are." The two young women give each other one last hug before moving apart, Ruby to her mother's Camry while Emerald starts walking towards her house.
Stopping at the passenger side door, she smiles and waves at her friend Neo's father, who is sitting in the front seat next to her mom. Directly behind him is Neo's mom in the back passenger seat, which leaves Ruby with sitting behind her mom. Loading her gear into the trunk, she moves quickly behind her mom, flopping down into the seat.
"Hey Mom! Hey Mr. and Mrs. Torchwick!" Ruby greets the other adults happily as she buckles her seatbelt.
"Hello my little Rose! How was practice?" Summer replies as she takes the car out of park and starts to pull off.
"Practice was great! I struck almost everyone out!" Ruby is excited as she looks into the rear view to look at her mom. Summer smiles back at her as she pulls up to the street, getting ready to turn.
"I'm so proud of you my little Rose! We'll head home as soon as we drop Neo's parent's off at the gym. Roman borrowed their car to take Neo to practice." Summer responds enthusiastically as she starts to pull into the road. As they drive home, they begin to talk about different topics, from baking to Ruby's new hobbies. Mrs. Torchwick even mentions Neo's newest way of annoying her older brother Roman.
Ruby opens her mouth just as she sees a bright light in front of them, she then hears the loud sound of crushing metal and screaming. And blood. So much blood. She remembers waking up lying outside the car, pain being all she could feel. She hears a man in a dark blue uniform trying to say something to her as she looks up at him in confusion. Then she hears the sirens, and she hears or sees nothing else as darkness overtakes her once more.
"Ruby, you need to accept the fact that the accident simply wasn't your fault." Dr. Ozpin tells her gently. Deep down, Ruby knows he's right. But hearing it over and over from her family and her friends as well as her shrink still hasn't made the guilt go away. If anything, the incident that happened the day before the next worse day of her life only made her guilt even worse.
"Ruby, what else is troubling you?" He knows. After five years, he really does know her better than anyone except Cinder, Neo and Penny. After all, she's been coming to see him ever since her mother's death.
"I was thinking of him again. And what he said to me." Ozpin's eyes widen in a bit of surprise. Ruby never talks about that day unless she is left no other choice. Leaning back in his chair, he laces his fingers together as he looks at the young woman.
"I was thinking of the day after. After he said all those things to me. I went to school the next day because I just wanted to find my necklace….."
Ruby has ignored all the snide comments the best that she can the whole day. All she wanted was her necklace back. It is the most precious item she owns now that her mother is gone. And he had been nothing short of a monster to her before he snatched it off and threw it away.
But she has scoured the whole school and hasn't been able to find it anywhere. It wasn't on the ground outside, it wasn't in the lost and found, it wasn't even in any of the trash cans. Ruby could feel her despair building as she dashes between classes trying to avoid the whispers and the muted laughs at her expense. Even her last class, Home Economics with Miss Goodwitch fails to cheer her up. All she can hear anymore are the whispers and the hateful words. All she can see is the blood on her hands from getting her mom killed. All she can hear is the squealing of tires and the screeching of metal. All because she needed a ride home.
The last bell couldn't have rung fast enough. Not bothering to go to her locker, she instead dashes outside so quickly that even Miss Goodwitch calls out to her, telling her to slow down. But all she can hear are the whispers. The laughter. The accusations. She can't do it anymore! Ruby Rose wants to be with her mother again. She can't handle the pain of her loss or her guilt anymore. No thanks to him.
Making it home in record time, she dashes upstairs, leaving a trail of school books, papers, and even pieces of clothing as she runs into her room, slamming and locking the door behind her. Once she is sealed away, she finally allows the dam to burst, losing herself in her pain and her grief. But through it all, she has a moment of clarity. She knows how to escape her pain.
Moving quickly, she snatches up an exacto knife from her desk as she moves quickly into the bathroom she shares with her brother, closing both the doors with a click. Turning on the faucet in the bathtub, she waits a moment for the water to fill the bottom before stepping in, gasping in shock from the sting of the ice cold liquid touching her skin. Ruby waits until the water reaches her waist before she drags the razor sharp blade down the skin of her right arm, drawing a thick line of blood from the wound. She can feel herself already getting lightheaded as she switches hands, dragging the knife down her left arm.
Nodding in satisfaction, she leans back in the tub as the water begins to reach mid-chest level. Her arms keep spilling blood outward slowly as she drifts in a haze. Her pain, her sorrow, her guilt will be over soon. Soon she'll be together with her mother. Hopefully she'll be forgiven for what she did. After all, maybe he was right all along. Maybe she needed to die after all….
Ruby was unconscious when Xiang found her, the water spilling over the sides of the tub tinged in red still. Ruby never heard his anguished screams as he drags his beloved little sister out of the water. She never heard Blake's frantic call to 911 begging them to hurry. She never heard her father's thundering footfalls as he rushed upstairs swearing and yelling for her. Ruby didn't hear or see anything until she awoke several days later in the hospital.
Both her wrists were carefully bandaged and restrained. She herself was carefully drugged and constantly monitored. But Ruby is furious! How dare someone save her life! She is a murderer! She killed her mother! She needs to die! She wants to die! Why didn't they let her die? She rages for days. She cries for days. She begs and pleads for days. All she wants is to go to her mother and beg her for her forgiveness. She has even lost her pendant. She knows her mother will never forgive her now.
Ruby would be in the hospital for almost a full year. The only constant through that time was Dr. Ozpin. He would come see her daily at first, until the rage and the pain finally subsides. He is the one that holds her hand when the loss and the heartbreak would become too much. He is the one that supervises the visits with her family at first, then slowly allowing what few friends haven't abandoned her to come as well. Penny is first, her ginger haired friend almost crushing her in a hug as they cry together.
Neo is next. Ruby almost has a full blown panic attack upon seeing her enter the room slowly. Until the little mute girl simply holds her arms up to her for a hug. A hug Ruby returns gratefully as they cry in their shared pain and loss. Neo and her older brother Roman never once blame her for the death of their parents, a fact that helps her finally make the first solid strides towards finally healing.
Soon, Penny's father as well as hers come to talk to her. Dr. Ozpin thinks it is a good idea for her to begin her studies once more. Mr. James is willing to help make the arrangements to have her join Penny's homeschool group, but only if she is willing of course. Her own dad refuses to pressure her, he simply looks at her with sad eyes as she agrees. She is finally starting to crave human interaction again other than Dr Ozpin, which is a good sign.
Penny, Neo and a new girl named Cinder begin to come to the hospital every day to study with her. The first thing they all notice is how quiet Ruby has become. The next is how her eyes never seem to light up when she smiles anymore. Penny and Neo have a hard time accepting this new Ruby, but Cinder refuses to coddle her or avoid painful subjects. Until one day Cinder and Ruby begin to argue. It starts out small, but rapidly escalates into something major until Ruby glares at Cinder as she rises to her feet.
"What do you know about loss?!"
"I know all too well about loss Ruby Rose." Cinder stands and calmly removes her jacket, then rolls up her sleeves, revealing matching scars to Ruby's own. "My parents were killed two years ago by a bank robber. And all I wanted was to join them too."
Ruby was too shocked to speak anymore. Here is someone who understands her. Who understands her pain and loss. She can feel the tears well up in her eyes as she slumps back into her chair. She feels their arms wrapped around her thin body as the sobs begin. She still has a long road ahead of her, but she knows she has friends and family she can rely on to help her now.
"So tell me Ruby, do you feel like you will not be a danger to yourself or anyone else if you attend Beacon University?"
Ruby knows Dr. Ozpin will want her to think carefully before she answers. She, as well as Penny and Cinder worked hard over the last few years to earn full scholarships to Beacon, and Neo is attending as well on a gymnastics scholarship. So she will have a support system. Xiang and Blake will also be there. The two of them are now in their Junior year, so they won't have much time to be meddlesome, but she knows she can rely on them both in an emergency or if she is having a crisis.
But is she really ready for this? She has avoided big crowds of people for the last four years, after that horrible last day. But she has a dream now. She wants to be a lawyer. One that helps people in trouble and not the ambulance chasers or the corporate sharks. She wants to make an actual difference.
Looking at Dr. Ozpin with determination in her eyes, she doesn't hesitate as she says "Yes. I can do this."
"Very well Ruby." He smiles as he offers her an envelope. "Good luck at Beacon, and remember that I am always just a phone call away for you."
Ruby takes the envelope in shaking hands, then abruptly hugs the man who helped her out of her hell. She is grateful for everything he has done for her all these years, and even though there are so many things she wants to say, the only words that come out are a whispered "Thank you."
"You are quite welcome Ruby Rose. Now go and live your life."
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Hey everyone, Winter here. All I have to say is this chapter is one of the hardest things I have ever written. Please, if you suffer from depression, or are having thoughts of suicide, please please please don't bottle them up! There is help! Trust me, I know. It took me a long time to admit that I needed help. And if not, and you see someone who is having a bad day, upset, or otherwise withdrawn, a kind word or action goes a long way. Sometimes all it takes is offering a hand to save a life.
