Kurt really didn't know what he was signing up for, to be quite frank.
-.-
Blaine woke up the next morning to someone screaming.
At first the screaming was dull, barely noticed, but as Blaine started to come to the noise became louder until it stopped, then came again. He sat up straight, rubbing his eyes as he tried to make out the words smothered in the screams.
"Get out! What the flying fuck? Get out!"
Oh God. That was Kurt.
Blaine sprung out of bed, not paying attention to the fact that his hair was all unruly and he wasn't wearing a shirt, and flung his door open, sprinting down the hall.
Wes and David obviously heard Kurt's screams as well, because they ended up running alongside him down the hall towards the boy's room.
Just as they got there, however, the door flew open, and out stumbled an amused-yet-slightly-frightened-looking Noah Puckerman.
The three boys immediately came to a halt, blinking.
"Jesus, Hummel!" Noah called out to the door, which was abruptly slammed in his face. "Don't get your thong in a twist, I didn't see anything!" He defended, holding his hands up.
"I do not wear thongs, you twisted pervert!" Kurt screeched through the door. "And I don't care about what you did and didn't see – you don't walk in on someone when they're taking a shower!"
Puck rolled his eyes, completely oblivious to the three boys watching him. "You really need to pull the stick out of your ass and replace it with something that counts, Princess." He snarked, and Blaine's eyebrow rose.
Suddenly Kurt's door opened, and a blue and green colored box was thrown, connecting with a loud thunk against Puck's head.
Puck placed a hand over the area that had been hit. "Ow!" He said, and then bent over to pick up the box. "I'm keeping this!" He shook the box in the air for emphasis, even though he was well aware that Kurt couldn't see him, and then looked at it. "What the hell is – oh jeez!" He dropped the box in disgust.
Suddenly the air was filled with Kurt's loud laughter.
"That's gross, dude!" Puck nearly shrieked. "God, why do you even have those?" He asked in horror.
"Mercedes came over!" Kurt called.
"You're a sick little dude!"
"I kno-ow…" Kurt sing-songed.
Puck shook his head and turned, starting a little upon finally catching sight of the three boys, and then shoved his hands into his pockets. "What goes on?" He asked, jerking his chin up, and, without waiting for an answer, walked away.
Blaine turned around to look at his two friends in confusion, who both only shrugged.
He rubbed his temples. "I'm going to take a nap. Thank God it's Saturday."
-.-
When Blaine finally went downstairs a little while later, he was met with a laughing Wes and Puck, an amused looking David, a confused Finn, and an annoyed looking Kurt.
"Oh, God, you what?" Puck laughed, gasping for air.
Kurt was obviously trying to conceal his own smile now. "I was sent to the Hospital thanks to one of my bright ideas to try to do an exotic dance on Rachel's kitchen table and ended up banging my foot on the edge." He winced in memory.
Blaine smiled and walked over – he had to hear this.
"Did you break your foot?" David asked, cringing in sympathy.
Kurt shook his head. "No, but it swelled up pretty bad, so we just wanted to make sure." He said, and then, suddenly, a huge smile appeared on his face. "But it turned out to be a pretty interesting night." He said.
"What's going on?" Blaine asked, sitting down next to Wes on the couch.
"We're sharing dancing war stories." Kurt smiled at him from the arm chair.
"Yeah." Puck said, sitting up and making a big show of stretching. "But now I'm officially bored. How about we do something interesting?"
"Like what?"Kurt asked, regaining his bitchy tone. "The power's out."
Oh. Blaine looked around and realized that Kurt was right.
Puck smirked a little. "Well, Finn brought his drum sticks, and I've got my guitar – how about we entertain ourselves?" He offered.
"You sing?" Blaine asked before he could stop himself.
"Noah's in the New Directions, too." Kurt answered, smiling. "He's actually really good."
"Not the only think I'm really good at, babe." Puck said teasingly.
Kurt rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless. "Keep it in your pants, babe."
Puck only laughed as he pulled out his guitar and slung it over his neck. "So I don't know if you guys have ever heard of this guy, but he's a fuckin' genius." He said as he started to strum a few chords. "Any of you ever heard of Bo Burnham?"
Kurt snorted.
Puck looked up, grinning. "Hummel!" He laughed. "Of all people." He said, and Kurt shook his head. "This sound familiar?" He asked as he started strumming out the tune.
Everyone looked to Kurt, who laughed and sank his hand into his face.
After a moment, he looked up. "God, I don't know if I remember all of the words." He laughed, shaking his head.
"You remember the beginning?" Puck asked, and Kurt nodded. Puck motioned for him to start.
Kurt laughed. "Alright." He cleared his throat and then sat up sat and grinned. "Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Rehab Center for Fictional Characters." He said cheerily, and the boys in the room raised their eyebrows while Puck laughed in his anticipation. "And remember, just because we're not real, doesn't mean we don't have feelings, OK? Who wants to start us off, who wants to go?" He looked to Puck. "Chris, how 'bout you, huh?" His voice shook a bit with laughter.
"Yeah, sure." Puck said in a voice much deeper than his, and Kurt laughed. "Hey, I'm Chris Cringle; I'm a sex addict." The boys in the room started laughing at that, and then Puck started to sing. "Hey I'm Santa Claus, I'm the King of Snow. I hate my wife, because she is a ho, ho, ho…" He made a big deal of nodding as the boys all laughed again. "She used to please me every day, then she made it clear, that Santa's only supposed to come once a year." He looked away and shook his head. "Fucking bitch." He said, and everyone laughed again. "Now I buy whores, rock and roll, and I stuff their stockings with my North Pole-"
"OK, Chris, thank you." Kurt cut him off. "Alright, who wants to go next?" He looked around. "Patrick." He stuck out his lower lip. "Frowny face, get up here!" He cleared his throat. "Alright. I'm Patrick O'Riley, I'm a Leprechaun." He said in an Irish accent. "You all doing good?" He asked. "Yeah, I'm not doing so good." He tried not to laugh as he started to sing. "I had a wonderful life, and a healthy household, and a beautiful wife, and a pot full of gold." He made a strangled noise in the back of his throat and everyone laughed again. "Then my wife spent my riches all by herself, and since women are bitches, blew a Keebler elf."
"Hey, I know them!" Puck's voice cut through the laughter.
"Oh, hello, Tony, nice of you to show up. Where were you last week?" Kurt asked in a bitchy voice, and Puck laughed.
"I had some, uh…stuff I had to take care of." Puck said, looking around. "Hey, I'm Tony the Tiger." Everyone laughed. "Well, I could tell you about my issues, but the Olympics are coming up next year – we don't wanna miss that, right?" He laughed, but when no one followed suit, he turned serious. "Alright I'll give it a shot." He turned back to the guitar, focusing on the chords for a few moments before looking back up. "Every day I wake up, and I get to work late. My boss says, 'Hey, what's up?' I say that I'm grrrrrr – " His face fell. "-owing tired of this shit." Everyone laughed again. "The kids they laugh, 'cause I'm a sensitive cat. 'Big Pussy!'" He frowned. "I can't argue with that." He paused as laughter broke through the room again. "If another kid gives me Frosted Flakes, I swear on my life I'm gonna…eat his parents." He sang the last sentence with a ravenous gaze.
"OK, Tone, thank you." Kurt said. "So that's everybody, let's just get down to it – oh, hello, I didn't see you there." He turned his head back. "Yeah, hi, yeah, hi, yeah, hi, how's it going? Yeah, hi. How's it going? Yeah, hi." He said energetically, making everyone laugh again. "I'm the Easter Bunny, hey I'm back. Used to be funny, now I'm hooked on crack. Heaps of heroine, ain't no joke, marshmallow peeps covered in coke-coke-coke-coke-coke-coke-coke-coke. Coke." Everyone started to laugh again and Kurt's expression. "Drugs for life, that's my plan, but now I have no attention span." He let his voice slide off of the word, looking away and starting to get up off of the couch before sitting back down. "OK, uh, I'm just gonna go get him, alright? Sit tight, and play nice, please. I'll be right back."
"Hey, Pat, did you hear?" Puck started to sing in his Santa voice again. "All my elves got sick. I think they got herpes from some Irish chick."
"Motherfucker…" Kurt shook his head as everyone laughed, and then looked up. "Why you laughing, Tony, huh?" He asked.
Puck laughed. "'Cause it's funny."
"You know what, all you guys do is make fun of me, this is getting ridiculous." Kurt said, sighing. "Santa, Tony, could you guys please stop?"
"Oh snap!" Puck cried, and then leaned forward. "Crackle and pop." He sang, and everyone laughed again. "Ha, 'cause they banged your wife!" He laughed.
Kurt glared. "I'm getting out of here, this is fucking ridiculous." He said, getting up as Puck strummed the last chord, and the two immediately fell into their laughter as Kurt sat back down on the couch and the rest of the boys in the room cheered.
"Jeez, I haven't heard that song in forever." Kurt laughed. "Thank God Sarah wasn't here to hear that. Where is she, anyways?" He asked.
"One of her friends picked her up to spend the weekend at her house." Puck explained. Kurt nodded. "So what are we gonna do now?" He asked, looking around at the darkening room, the only light coming from the small flames of candles and whatever little light was coming from outside, which was darkening fast with clouds. "It's starting to get late."
"Why don't we just watch a movie?" Kurt offered.
A hour later, the six boys sat awkwardly on the couches, their faces twisted into strange expressions as they watched 'The Human Centipede' on demand.
"Um." Kurt said, blinking. "I vote we watch 'The Lady and the Tramp' instead."
Mumbled agreements echoed around the room as Kurt turned the movie off.
-.-
The next night, Sarah was dropped off by her friend's Mom.
Puck swore her off from going over the little girl's house again after Sarah couldn't sleep because of a scary story the friend had told her.
"B-But Noah." Sarah said shakily. "I'm really scared. What if the monster comes to get me?" She asked nervously, on the verge of tears.
Puck sighed, cradling the girl in his arms. "He won't, baby, it was just a story, OK? You need some sleep, sweetheart." Sarah whimpered and snuggled further into Puck's hold.
"Sarah? Noah?" Kurt asked as he reached the bottom of the stairs. At the sight of Sarah's face, he rushed over. "Oh, honey, what's wrong?" He asked, brushing her sweaty bangs away from her face.
"Janie told me a scary story." She said, sniffling.
Kurt frowned a bit, but then lit up with an idea. "Well, when I was little, and I got scared, my mother used to sing to me." He said. "Would you like me to sing you something?"
When Sarah nodded vigorously, Kurt gathered her in his arms and laid her down in the recliner, sitting on the arm of it and stroking her hair as he began to sing.
"Smile, though your heart is aching." Kurt sang, looking down at her. "Smile, even though it's breaking." Sarah blinked up at him and sniffled again, and Puck watched him, thoughtful. "When there are clouds in the sky , you'll get by...if you smile ." Kurt smiled a little at her as her eyelids began to droop, and she yawned, rubbing at her eyes with the palm of one hand. "Through your fears and sorrow, smile and maybe tomorrow, you'll see the sun come shining through. If you..." Puck watched as Kurt was able to coax the girl to sleep with his voice, blinking, and couldn't help but feel a little sleepy now, himself. "Light up your face with gladness, hide every trace of sadness. Although a tear may be ever so near, that's the time you must keep on trying, to smile, what's the use of crying?" He shrugged a little, and Sarah's eyes fluttered shut. "You'll find that life is still worthwhile. If you'll just..." Her breathing became deeper and longer, signaling that she had fallen asleep. "Smile…" Kurt smiled at the sleeping girl, and leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead before standing up.
"Thanks." Puck said, slightly amazed.
Kurt nodded. "My mother loved that song. She would sing it to me every time I was scared, hurt, or – hell, practically every night." He chuckled softly, careful not to wake the girl up.
"I'm sorry."
Kurt looked a little startled as he turned to Puck. "For what?" He asked.
Puck sighed. "For everything." He said, as if that explained it all. "For what happened to your mother, for your transfer, for all the bullying…for all the crap I put you through." He apologized. "You never deserved any of it, but I was too much of an ass to see the amazing person behind the Ice Queen façade. And I'm sorry." He hung his head a little.
"I forgive you." Kurt whispered. "I already have, Noah, because when you were bullying me, you didn't do it for fun, or because I was gay." He said. "But because you knew you had to do it to fit in." He paused. "Maybe you couldn't see through my façade, but I could see through yours. And what I found was a lonely, tortured soul." Puck looked down and sighed. "No one deserves to be alone, Noah." Kurt said, and he stepped back a bit. "Goodnight." He said, turning to go.
"Kurt." Puck called softly, and Kurt turned. "Thanks." He repeated.
They both knew he wasn't talking about Sarah.
Kurt nodded one last time before walking up to his room and going to bed.
-.-
Sorry about the wait for this! I really hope it was worth it, and I already have the next chapter written up, so I'll post it in a few days or so. As you can probably tell, this story is going in a different direction than what I originally planned. I do hope you'll stay along for the ride, though.
