A/N: The magic of crack pairings is that they're so fun to write. They only get complicated when said character already has a clear love interest. Or I just didn't want to write about them. And thus I'll be leaving out a few because no matter what I wrote I couldn't get it to work. Would love to see someone else attempt it though.
Thanks for reading.
Shinigami
Byakuya Kuchiki
Byakuya wanted to die. He couldn't since he still had responsibilities and promises to keep, but that didn't stop him from wanting to drown himself in his koi pond whenever Ichigo came by. The young boy's presence was like a virus. Or something else unhealthy. It had been a long time since Hisana passed, but Ichigo made him feel the same way she did, which was absurd given they were universes apart in terms of everything. But one trait they both shared was that they saw Byakuya not as a noble, but as Byakuya. Ichigo Kurosaki just made it more vocal. It was also not helping that Rukia was so attached so he had no choice but to pay close attention to him.
After his stunt with saving Rukia' the entire Gotei 13 couldn't stop talking about him. Lower seated officers wouldn't stop jabbering about some injury he gave them and even the other captains went on and on about his strength. Also given that their daily lives could get quite dull with decades of nothing but paper work, Ichigo's name was practically spoken every second. It didn't help that Ichigo kept helping, kept saving lives, and kept being involved in affairs that didn't concern him. Many of which were tied to Byakuya personally. So he became grateful, admiring, and much to his dismay, fascinated.
Renji Abarai
The Seiretei was a very traditional place. Some Shinigami over one thousand years old, but still never bothered to change. But Renji was not a traditional person. Some people balked at his tattoos, or the wild way he wore his hair. But he didn't care because it's the way he wanted to do things. So when he became comrades with the mostly human youth known as Ichigo Kurosaki, he knew it wouldn't be a traditional friendship. Though after spending so much time at his side, he began to feel and acknowledge he was feeling a traditional type of love. Well, not so traditional since it was another man and not a woman as he had anticipated, but it was still love all the same.
He'd seen many years worth of people falling in love and heard all kinds of ways people dealt with it, so it wasn't that big of a surprise when he came to terms with his feelings. Renji just accepted it as natural and went with it. He liked it, so there was no reason to try to change it.
Sosuke Aizen
Aizen generally didn't care about anything. He didn't care about what people thought of him because he planned how they would think of him. He didn't care about people either since he'd just use them anyway. He didn't care about the weather since he could just plan how to deal with it. But somehow he wanted to not care about Ichigo. Ichigo was merely another thing he planned. He anticipated his hatred, his anger and his sorrows. He even anticipated the things and people he held dear, but he hadn't anticipated actually wanting to see more of them outside of research. Aizen kept a close eye on everyone and everything, even down to low rank Shinigami sent to the world of the living. But for some fleeting moments, he wanted to only pay attention to Ichigo. And because of this, he wanted to not pay attention to him so much, but wanted to watch him even more to see why.
Aizen was no stranger to love; he planned for people to love him from the way he walked to his speech, and the gentle looks he would give others. But to feel it towards another, and Ichigo no less, was something he had not planned for. A foreign, reckless part of him wanted to make Ichigo so mad he went into a blind rage just to see more sides of him. He wanted to feel a thrill no one else could give him. In that moment when he touched Ichigo's heart, Aizen just knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life as the ruler of all with Ichigo by his side.
Toshiro Hitsugaya
Hitsugaya preferred to keep his thoughts to himself since he knew he'd suffer some sort of teasing, endless gossip, or never ending embarrassing consequence. He was always, no matter his strength or rank, treated as a child and that bothered him more than anything given that he knew he had wisdom above that of a mere child. Looks can be deceiving, but after a few decades it got old. And thus, he kept his mouth shut tight about how he felt about Ichigo. He was not ashamed of his love, nor did he actually want to keep it a secret, it would be how Rangiku would spread it throughout all of the Seiretei that made him keep quiet.
Ichigo didn't treat him like he was a 10 year old human. He spoke to him just as he would any other adult. He didn't make his name sound cutesy, and he didn't embarrass him whenever they met. They weren't even very close, but Hitsugaya knew that if he so much as asked, Ichigo would be there to lend a hand. But until Rangiku learned how to not spread to the entire division that he had a knack for waking up with no sense of direction, he would keep completely silent.
Rukia Kuchiki
Rukia wasn't surprised when she realized what she felt. It wasn't because he looked like Kaien either, because Ichigo was not Kaien. She just took it as another one of Ichigo's amazing abilities and rolled with it. He was first and foremost her friend and someone to fight by her side after all. She would protect him, she would care for him, but just not in a mushy way. Despite watching and reading about how modern day humans acted, she just couldn't see herself taking long walks on the beach with Ichigo or confessing her love while stuttering like she had brain problems. She didn't have any intention of telling him either, it was just something she took in stride and decided it wasn't worth fussing over.
Granted, she still felt as though she was standing next to a star when Ichigo was near. He just drew her and everyone in his orbit and burned brightly with confidence and pride. When she watched his back as he kept her from harm, a warmth like no other enveloped her heart and she couldn't help but smile, but if anything, those were simple bonuses to having possibly the greatest friend in the all the worlds. Also her brother would be highly displeased if he ever found out.
Kenpachi Zaraki
Kenpachi didn't exactly know what love was and didn't think too much on it. Or at all. He knew he loved fighting, but that still had set boundaries since it wasn't just the fighting itself. He didn't want to fight an enemy that couldn't fight back or had already lost. He may as well attack rocks all day or something. But Ichigo had something about him that gave him the same feelings he got when fighting, even when he was just in the vicinity. As soon as he felt Ichigo close by, his heart sped up and he couldn't stop grinning. When he saw Ichigo, he was always so excited and never bored. Yachiru enjoyed his presence too, so it couldn't have been a bad thing. But he just kept running away.
When Ichigo ran from him, Kenpachi couldn't help but scowl at the pang that followed, so he chased him. He would keep chasing him, just to stay near him. And he would keep chasing him forever if he had to since he was not going to just let the boy go.
Ikkaku Madarame
Ikkaku knew he wasn't the smartest man alive, or dead rather. But he knew things. He knew that men weren't supposed to fall in love with men for one, but it happened. He also knew that his entire division would probably have him exiled or something if they found out, which he didn't want to happen. Ikkaku knew that Ichgo was amazing. In fact, everyone knew it, but Ikkaku just found him amazing probably more so than the average observer. And it was seriously making him panic. With such a bloodthirsty division, it wouldn't seem out of place for him to want to fight Ichigo, but it just so happened that he wanted more.
When assigned to the world of the living, Ikkaku really did want to share space with Ichigo, but the teen wouldn't have any of it, even with the incredible offers from Rangiku. Ichigo would always be welcome within his quarters, but Yumichika, ever the observant one, would no doubt catch on so that was out. Ikkaku wanted to spend time with Ichigo, personal time, but until the entire division along with probably over half the Gotei 13 that knew him kicked the bucket, that wasn't an option.
