Disclaimer: I Don't Own Naruto. If I did then Princess Yuki Itami Cindy Lou Raven Sparklypooh would be the main character. Becus she is sooooo AWESOME!!1eleven!

A/N: Okay, so I've learnt that if you put a couple of stupid comments and take the piss out of the dreaded Mary-Sue, you gain a far greater reaction then a 'fic that you actually put some effort into… Ah well, see if I care! :D I do the same! Haha

Thanks for the fabulous reviews guys, I love you all! (Except Umbre, but she won't read this anyway! ;) )

On with the show!


Princess Yuki Itami Cindy Lou Raven Sparklypooh jumped out of the window of her room in the dead of night. Of course, the 3 storey drop didn't bother her at all because she could fuse a whole bunch of elements together to make crystal wings that sprouted from her back. Amazing chakra control was one of the perks of being a super-genius.

She landed on the ground with the poise of a figure-skater because she was also an Olympic class ice skater too. It had always been one of her many expensive and impossible dreams, along with being a horse trainer and a pilot in the RAF. Unfortunately the duties of being a Princess stopped her from following her dreams and added something else onto her steadily growing list of reasons to be angsty and emo. At least this time it was half justifiable, though.

Allowing the wings to disappear into a million, billion sparkly diamonds, Princess Yuki started on her long journey to the nearest five star hotel. It was two hours away and she simply didn't know if her delicate body would be able to cope the sheer amount of walking she would have to do. You see, because of this weird chakra fusion manipulation thingy and her general 'lying around the palace not doing anything', Princess Yuki had a weak body. Of course, this didn't stop her from owning anyone and everyone in a fight and using up vast amounts of chakra every time she attacked. It meant that if she walked too much or came within 5 feet any sexy looking stranger she fainted on the spot. No, that doesn't make any sense what-so-ever but it doesn't matter because Princess Yuki Itami Cindy Lou Raven Sparklypooh could even change to laws of life, she was so damn fabulous.

Sighing in an overly dramatic way but then realizing that no servants were going to come and carry her bag for her, Princess Yuki wandered of into the dark. On her own. Into a forest. Even though she was a super genius and had watched every episode of –insert generic TV show that involves crime and/or horror film-.

She wasn't doing anything to help fight the 'dumb blonde' stereotype.

With an Irate Group of Akatsuki Members

Said group of Akatsuki members were stood on the side of a road, huddled around a handful of papers, containing photos, information and the whereabouts of their target. Nobody liked the look of her and Hidan was especially annoyed.

"'Princess Yuki Itami Cindy Lou Raven Sparklypooh'?!" Hidan screeched (for that is what he does) and looked incredulously at the biography of the girl again.

Kakuzu sighed and nodded, "Yes, what's so wrong about that?"

"Were her parents on fucking crack when they named her? Seriously!" Hidan glared at the name as though it had personally offended him.

"Probably, un. I mean, who in their right mind would call their kid that?" Deidara agreed, scowling at the piece of paper. "It's got to be drug induced."

Sasori didn't comment on the name and simply stared at the picture that had fallen out of the bundle of paper in disgust. The photo showed a young girl, no older then sixteen, in some of the skimpiest clothes he had ever seen. That was if you could even call those scraps of material, clothes. Tight fish-net was stretched to breaking point across her body and she posed to the camera in the most provocative way (royally) possible. It screamed 'Myspace Whore!' at him. Finding his voice finally, Sasori spoke.

"She looks like a brat."

"She looks spoilt rotten." Kakuzu snorted, jealously glistening in his eyes.

"She looks like a fucking heathen." Hidan had almost turned green. Jashin forbade the wearing of fish-net, dyed hair and excessive amounts of make-up. Just looking at this photo made him want to sacrifice fourteen virgin maidens to appease his God.

"She looks like a slob, un." Deidara huffed, commenting on the tip of a bedroom visible in the background of the picture.

Sasori glared at Deidara. "That is the most hypocritical sentence to ever grace your mouth, Brat."

"What?! I'm not a slob Danna, un!"

"When was the last time you cleaned your bedroom? It looks like a bombsite!"

"It IS a bomb site, un!"

"Don't get smart with me young man…" Sasori's eyes narrowed dangerously and both Hidan and Kakuzu took a step away from the feuding artists simultaneously.

"Young man?! You're the one who looks like a fifteen year old, un!"

"Well at least I don't act like one." Sasori quickly countered.

Hidan and Kakuzu calmly watched the two artists argue. Hidan couldn't stop smirking at how easily Deidara got riled up and Kakuzu rolled his eyes. They were wasting time and in Kakuzu's world, time meant money.

"Oi, let's get moving. The faster we catch this kid, the faster the money gets transferred to our account." The masked shinobi shouted, turning his back on the fighting duo and walking down the road with a map of the fire country help out in front of him. Deidara and Sasori 'hmph'ed at the same time and turned from each other. Deidara practically ran the Hidan, starting a new conversation with him easily whilst Sasori walked at the back of the group, content with the new situation.

In a Forest Somewhere…

"You know… If I didn't know any better I'd say we were going around in circles!" Princess Yuki giggled to her wolf summon, Pik. Pik was a purple furred wolf who had the misfortune to be Princess Yuki's favourite summon. Every time the poor beast was called to his mistress's side, he wonders what sort of degrading task he would be forced to perform. Today it was 'being a body-guard'.

"Erm… That's because we are going in circles, Princess." Pik replied, tired and cranky due to being summoned in the middle of his nap.

"Don't be silly Pik! I know exactly where we are. I'm not a super genius for nothing, ya know!" She giggled that annoying giggle of hers and flounced off in a random direction, ample breasts bouncing along with her. Pik shook his head. One day I'm gonna rip out her throat… He thought before following glumly. It was another hour before the two found their way on to a main road.

"Okay Pik! Now that I'm on the main road you can go!" Princess Yuki, dismissed Pik without a second thought and skipped off along the road, a trail of faintly sparkling glitter following her. It was a lovely night to run away from home, she believed. Much better then that one time she had ran away to Amegakure. It didn't stop raining for the whole time sh was there and she had forgotten to pack her hair straighteners. By the time she had been found, her hair looked like a birds nest.

Suddenly she heard footsteps coming closer to her.

"Hey Fuckface! Are you Princess Yuki Ee-tacky Cindy something-or-other Sparkle-shit?" A voice shouted from behind her. She whipped her head around quickly, Sharingan-Byakugan eyes blazing.

Eyes zooming in on the people wearing black cloaks with red clouds, Princess Yuki let a light gasp escape from her plump, pink lips.

"Akatsuki!" She whispered under her breath.


A/N: Omg, wot is Princess Yuki gunna doooo?! (And more to the point, what the hell are the Akatsuki gonna do with her?)

Some of you may have noticed that there are two ways that I write in this: The 'Sue-thor' way and the 'JayJay-Chan' way. The 'Sue-thor' is a toned down version of how typical Mary-Sue authors write, and the other is my normal way of writing. This is just so that you know if I say "Her eyes sparkled with the untold dreams of a thousand years as she gazed dreamily into the sky, the wind catching her flowing locks", it is essentially sarcasm and is not to be taken seriously!

Reviews help kill Mary-Sues.