Oh wow!! so many awesome reviews!! Thank you all so much for your support! I'm glad to have gotten so many positive reviews, and to know that you all enjoyed the first chapter. Here's the second one. only one more after this!

Thanks to: MegTao, kireisnowtenshi, Gr33nJ3w3lRain, x.spanish.eyes.x, CharmedSerenity3, Rose Zen, Moonlight Shadow Angel (thank you so much! I try my hardest to think of new different story plots.), Endy's Girl, mystic soilder, sailorceb, daianapotter, SeleneHarker, Fallen Archangel and my beloved pencil gal (yeah im in the zone all thanks to my muse.. wink wink... unfortunately he's also distracting me.. damn myspace)


Title: Homo- What?!
Author: Crystal Saturn
Rated: T
Chapter: 2- Straight Man's Torture

The following morning, Serena strolled into the Arcade to be greeted with the sight of Darien clad in a collared shirt that clung to his body tighter than usual, showing a hint of the chiseled chest muscles beneath the fabric. He wore dark blue jeans and his hair was held up in its usual style with a bit of product.

Serena let out a little sigh. Maybe she was wrong. If she were then she'd be paying Darien her allowance money for 2 months. Or maybe he had done his research. Maybe she would have a little fun today.

"So what have you got planned for today?" Darien tucked his hands comfortably in his pockets.

"Today we're going clothes shopping, shoe shopping and boy watching." Serena smiled. Andrew chuckled at the prospect of Darien having to pretend he was gay.

"Sounds... swell." Darien's smile faltered for a second as he remembered he wasn't on a date, he wasn't even supposed to be interested in the blonde girl in front of him. He was meant to be interested in men.


"So what do you think about this top and these pants, Darien?" Serena picked up a random selection from a rack and held them up against her body.

"Hmm?" Darien turned his attention back to the blonde girl in front of him. Truth be told, nothing bored or scared him more than shopping with women and going into women's clothing stores. "They're nice." he absentmindedly commented before turning his attention back to the tiles on the floor.

"No, you're wrong! The top is too bright and the pants would make my butt look fat." Serena pouted, knowing Darien was paying no attention what so ever. "Horizontal stripes on pants are bad for short girls!

"Well then why are you asking for my opinion if it's wrong?"

"Because I want to know if you're paying attention or not! Gay men are meant to have good taste in clothes and since you're a self proclaimed homosexual, I value your opinion." Serena placed the top and pants back in their respective places and ushered Darien out of that shop and into another.

"Hey, this would be a nice shirt for you." Serena picked up a collared shirt from the rack.

"I'm not too sure about that one... I like this one more." Darien picked out an olive green sweater from another rack. Serena smiled to herself. He didn't have good taste when it came to clothes at all. In fact, it was horrible. Strike one.


"These heels are to die for!" Serena picked up a designer Italian shoe with black, silver and white shimmer laces.

"I can't imagine it would be too comfortable though. That heel is massive! Your feet would be aching by the end of the night." Darien pointed out, wondering what women thought about when they shopped. It obviously wasn't comfort or cost.

"The price you pay for fashion, darling." Serena corrected smartly.

"And that price would be..." Darien pointed to the price tag dangling from one of the laces.

"Four hundred dollars." Serena quickly put the shoe back. "Way out of my price range."

Darien chuckled. Women were so complicated. Sometimes he thought it would probably be easier to be gay.


"What about him, do you think he's cute?" Serena pointed out a tall blonde man in his early 20's.

"Too Tall." Darien took another bite of his sandwich.

"Oh, there's a cute guy." Serena turned to find a suited up businessman with dark hair and brown eyes. He smiled at her gently.

"Ahh.. i don't think so... you know, Serena he's not..."

"Oh hey guys! Fancy meeting you both here." A familiar looking sandy blonde male approached the pair, with another man in tow.

"Andy!" Serena exclaimed excitedly. "What are you doing here?"

"Yes. Andrew... what are you doing here." Darien muttered through clenched teeth.

"Well, the funniest thing happened the other day. I was talking to Rita about Darien's newfound out of the closet-ness, and my neighbour Kyle here happened to overhear and he wanted me to introduce you guys."

"Nice to meet you, Darien." Kyle leaned over and took Darien's hand within his, shaking lightly. "I'll be more than happy to show you all the fab hot spots and the fantastic nightlife if you like, darling." Kyle leaned low and winked flirtatiously at Darien.

"I... Um..." Darien recoiled his hand as if he had been burned by oven heating element. "Ca...Can i talk t...to you... like... now! Andrew!" Darien practically pounced on his best friend, dragging him several paces away. When out of hearing distance, Darien and Andrew began a seemingly heated and very animated one sided argument, consisting of Darien pacing around with rage, arms being thrown into the air in fury and Andrew being smacked across the back of the head. Andrew tried his hardest not to burst into laughter the whole time.

"So... is he always this uptight?" Kyle began to make idle chatter with Serena.

"Worse." She shook her head, watching the two men bicker to themselves. "I still don't believe he's gay."

"I think someone has a crush on a certain dark haired gay guy." Kyle winked.

"WHAT?! NO!" Serena's face soon turned a bright crimson shade.

"Well.. i was referring to myself. But your palette of redness just confirms it you know..."

After much reprimanding by Darien, Andrew bashfully decided it was time to leave, and take his friend with him. He had recieved an earful from his best friend, and was feigning a hurt expression for 'only trying to help'. Sure, Kyle knew the whole story. Andrew had told him that Darien was only pretending to be Gay to get Serena's attention. They both thought it would be rather amusing to poke fun at the poor, poor, sad pathetic man.

"Now then, I should think it was time for us to leave..." Andrew stepped back into the conversation.

"Oh? So soon? But we were all just introducing each other." Serena interjected.

"Yes, but i have to go do my... thing.. at the uh... thing thing... place with the... thing over.. there..." Andrew fumbled unconvincingly before waving goodbye and dragging Kyle along with him who was happily blowing air kisses in Darien's direction, leaving Serena and Darien alone once more at their lunch table.

"Pity. Kyle seemed nice enough. He's gorgeous. Really good looking. What do you think about him?" Serena smiled gently as she watched the Dark haired man in front of her shift in his seat uncomfortably.

"He's not my type."

"What is your type then?" Serena waved around her half eaten sandwich.

"Looks aren't everything Serena. A person's personality and their attitude play a big part too. They have to be funny and happy. I'd like someone who I can get along with, but I don't mind having little arguments every now and then. Someone passionate and spirited." Darien sipped his coffee carefully.

"Any particular physical features you're interested in?" Serena asked.

"I don't know... I tend to prefer blondes with blue eyes. Someone shorter than me would be good too." Darien shrugged and went back to his sandwich.

"So... you have a crush on Andrew too huh?" Serena asked as she coyly tilted her head.


Dun dun dun! Hope you liked that. If you like this story and you havent already checked out some of my other stuff, you'll love Mystery Girl and Ski Bunny Blues. Thank you all so much for reading. Please review and i'll see you all again next week with the last chapter! Add me to your myspaces!! (the link is on my profile page as my home page)

Crystal Saturn