Okay, this is the first chapter! I'm so excited!

Chapter One-Pirate Problems

"We're flying!" GIR yelled.

He was racing through the house with one of his rubber piggies, attempting to fly. Attempting to fly was a popular way for GIR to kill time while Zim was out (this time, he was picking up soda for their movie marathon).

"WHEEE!" GIR laughed as he catapulted onto the couch. When he bounced, he got an idea.

"You stay here Piggy!" he said, petting the little pink piggy before sitting him in a safer place (which was in a shoebox). He raced back to the couch, and jumped as hard as he possibly could (which was pretty hard), and cleared the top of it. He tried again, and this time reached his goal: the ceiling fan.

GIR held onto the two chains, and pulled one, which happened to be the one that started the fan.

"I'M FLYING!" he howled in delight as the fan rotated. After about five minutes of spinning and giggling, GIR was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"GIR, I'm home!" Zim called, opening the door.

"MASTER!" Gir flung himself from the fan and gave Zim the ultimate hug, knocking him flat. They laid there for a minute, GIR cuddling Zim, who was trying not to slap the little robot.

"Um, GIR? Could you please get off me?" Zim asked nicely, even though he was gritting his teeth.

"Master!" GIR repeated, "I missed you!"

"That's great GIR , but-"

"I said I missed you!" GIR said, squeezing Zim harder, "Didn't you miss me?"

"Yes, GIR, but you're hurting me." Zim said, breathless from being squeezed.

"Sorry Master….Guess what?" GIR said, releasing Zim from his bear-hug.

"What GIR?" Zim sighed.

"I made WAFFLES!" GIR announced proudly.

"Don't you always?" Zim muttered before dropping onto the couch. He popped the top of a soda, and turned on the movie channel. GIR leaped up onto the couch with the shoe-box the piggy was in. Zim gave him a look, but didn't ask. He just turned his attention to the pirate movie on the TV.

Before the first scene was over, Zim had downed the whole case of soda, and was babbling to GIR about the difficulties of life as an invader. GIR listened dutifully.

About twenty minutes into the movie, Zim passed out from soda overload. GIR, however, watched the movie all the way to the end, learning pirate talk and other stuff. When the credits came on, GIR poked his master with the shoe-box his piggy was in. When Zim didn't wake up, GIR ran out the door at top speed.

Three hours later, Zim woke up to find GIR gone and some old ninja movie on the TV. Confused, he sat up, looking around for the little robot.

"GIR!" he called groggily.

No answer.

"GIR!" he called, louder this time.

Still no answer.

'Great', he thought, 'He's playing hide and seek again….better go find him.' Zim rolled off the couch and onto the floor. It took him a while to get his soda-wasted self off the ground.

When he finally got up, Zim wandered through the house, searching for GIR, whom he was convinced was hiding. He passed a window, and saw something odd.

There was a boat.

In the yard.

And Gir was at the wheel, decked out in pirate clothes.

"GIR!" Zim yelled. GIR looked up, an eye-patch covering one of his bright blue eyes.

"What's wrong, Master?" GIR asked innocently.

"Where did you get that boat, GIR?" Zim demanded.

"I commandeered it." GIR explained.

"You…what?" Zim asked, wishing he'd learned pirate talk from that movie.

"I commandeered it from the neighbors."

"And…the clothes, too?" Zim asked, unaware they had neighbors, let alone pirate neighbors.

"Yep." GIR said simply, before turning back to the wheel of the speedboat, singing the Doom Song.

Zim blinked, then decided he was dreaming. He trekked drunkenly back to the couch, where he (once again) passed out. He woke up again later, and there was GIR, hugging his piggy (still in the shoebox), and watching the sequal to the pirate movie.

"GIR?" Zim asked.

"Yes?" GIR asked, cocking his head.

" Is the boat still out there?"

"What boat?" GIR asked, confused.

"Never mind." Zim said simply, then settled down to watch the movie, hoping he wouldn't have any more fever dreams.