BADUMTSSS! Yay Finally updated! I'm SO SO SO SO SO sorry about that, because i've lost all my data and I had to rewrite everything past the third chapter anyway YEAH :D
By some miracle last night, the hail has stopped around 4:30 am, or was it because he fell asleep? Probably due to the pillow he had pressed on his head yeah. In short, he really had a hangover like head and the Chocolate Cheerios he was playing with since a while into his half empty bowl threatened to split into two. That night, he had not really had time to think about what Danny told him, probably preferring to forget about it, but now he was well awake and he was about to go and wait like a real kid to the window, he had it in mind. And, what if he was right? And, that he was definitely in ... love with Harry? No. It was a ridiculous thought, a fantasy. He thought about it just because the discussion he had with Danny last night and he had engraved the idea in his head.
Sitting on the edge of the window, after putting his empty bowl in the sink, he looked at the damage the mini storm the day before had caused. The hail had left a mini ice throughout the window and it was white everywhere. The sky, usually sunny, was filled with thick gray cloud and the thin layer of ice on the lake was cracked in several places, he crossed his arms, having several chills and left a trail of mist on the window. More than two hours before the arrival of Harry. He sighed, feeling the presence of Daniel at his side;
« Have you though about what we talked about yesterday? »
« a bit… but I don't think I'm in love with Harry, the whole thing is a bit weird so… »
« Dougie… you're waiting after Harry like a little kids waiting after Santa Claus »
« No! You're lying! »
« so why aren't you coming to record some tunes … »
« My troat is sore and I'm feeling dizzy »
He sighed, not really, he just wanted Danny to shut his mouth and to left him alone, all he asks for was silence. They were recording non-stop since 4 day now, he began to seriously be pissed about everything, waking up grumpy and feeling unproductive. And, then he put his forehead on the window, the cold was good and he stayed a while like that, even when his head began to ache as it was frozen. And, it also prevented him from thinking too much. But on the other hand, it is not by staying there that he will be productive for the 6th album, and especially he could just erase that crazy idea that Danny had to put in his head. Rising, he followed his friend in the living room where they improvised a mini studio. And, the absence of his best friend became a memory until he arrives in the vicinity of 12:45.
But he did not really have the time to talk with him; too busy recording those drums and bass parts for their next album. Tom then made them dinner while Harry tells them about his trip to the Bermuda. Although he wanted so bad, he couldn't even talk to him, as he went to bed early, it was then his turn to go up in his bed. But sleep did not come, as yesterday. He had a long sigh as he turned in his bed. The wind had begun his songs and seemed brutal against the windows of the poor old house, and Dougie began seriously to have his feet frozen, even with three pairs of socks and 2 large jackets. Rising, he went to the living room to make a fire and warmed himself. He looked at the flames during a long time. A bottle of alcohol was carelessly placed on the mantel, probably Daniel who stayed awake until late and he sighed, staring at the flames again sway against one another. Then, his thoughts bring him back to Harry, his strong and warm arms, like a grizzly bear or a wolf and even his hairy beard, although these days Dougie could easily compete with him, he thought about his cuddles and little peck on the cheeks, and the nonsense that the blond always repelled with a finger or inaudible words and he found himself smiling. Oh he could go and wake Harry up, ask him to sleep in the same bed as him, they would fall asleep in the arms of each other's, it was a habit since the band exist that they do that, but Dougie was surprised to be afraid, afraid of what? He suspected that it was about what Danny had advanced the day before, he was afraid to be ... love ... But at the same time...
He was pulled out from his thoughts by someone who surrounded his shoulders by two tanned arms and his head turned to the right and a particularly musky smell of aftershave filled his nostrils. Harry. Had he awaken him? Sometimes he has the grace of a bull in a China shop.
« Hey Butty, you're cold as ice. »
« I've light a fire. »
« Why haven't you came to my room? »
There were many of reason why he did not go to his room, but they would come to that point where he had to discuss about his problems and he did not want to because it would come back to tell him what he felt and he was definitely not ready. But at the same time ... as he was bored with not having Harry close to him, every muscles that clenched when he breathing, and as he's pressed hard against his chest. He closed his eyes for a moment, giving himself away to Harry's touch, enjoying his breath against his shoulder and burying his nose in his glossy neck, sniffing again and again his musky odor. It was these moments he adored, when no camera was pointing their lenses on them and when he could enjoy a good old cuddle, enjoying the silence that was broken only by the crackling fire.« How… How do we know if we love someone? »
« Well, Doug, its individual to each person, I guess, I mean by that… well I… I suppose you look at them a lot, try and touch them as much as you could, those kind of thing you know, I think » he thought for a moment then asked « why? Are you in love Butty? »
« no. Well.. I just wanted to know... »
He finally had the courage to get rid of Harry's arm to sit on the sofa where he was joined by him where he leaned against him, burying one of his large hands through his hair and stroking them gently. Instinctively, he climbed his legs on the sofa, coiling up a little more against the body of the brown. Being a cat, Dougie thought he would probably begin to purr. In fact, he would do it, but it would be silly and he did not want to spoil this moment he had with Harry.
« I've missed you Dougie… »
« Oh, I'm sure you haven't ... there's full of things to do over there, you've certainely had much fun with Thomas ... And you must not think at all about your best friend that froze his balls here in the middle of nowhere. »
« If Only… »
He said it in a near whisper against his hair, Dougie opened his eyes and looked at him a single moment, Harry looked down at him and they stared at each other. If he decided to break the few inches that seem to be separating them, he might just kiss him. But only if he haven't been so scared, he did nothing because after all, two friends do not kiss each other that way.
« I ... I think when you love someone, you feel all funny, as if you had eaten cotton ball for a week ... »
« So I might have eaten a lot of those… »
And then he said it, like a stream of words that fills the space. But curiously, he does not really regret it, as if it was natural to say this. It can be the hope that Harry would not understand the meaning of his sentence and that he might think he was talking about someone else, but in reality did he will guess that it's him who he had impregnate in the skin like the tattoos on his arms, but in his heart? It struck him hard in the chest, not because Daniel was right, but because he was close to the terrible truth.
« Doug? »
« mh? »
« You know that I'll always be there for you right? At any time, if you want to talk… »
He just ... cannot. He would like to, but it's embarrassing. And, he doubted, by the number of girl he had brought in his bed after many gigs that Harry does love him too. It was cliché and can be only seen in movies and fictions, but it was the feeling of insecurity that was growing in his stomach since around ten minutes and prevented him to kiss the other boy. And, it was his best friend and we don't kiss our best friend! At least, not like that!
He then felt the hand of his eldest gently stroke his cheek and he forgot about his troubles for a moment and even about the temperature outside that threatened to make explode everything all around them, then he raised his eyes again to see Harry looking at him too, then he'd drown. He really did not know how anyone could have those turquoise eyes too, even Dannys wasn't as deep or himself, whose were often more gray like hardened steel. No, Harry had deep blue eyes like two Caribbean abyss that often changed, when his character changed. He could not really distinguish them by the firelight, but he knew they had this characteristic glow when Harry was concerned, and he followed the line of his aquiline nose, then his mouth, well round and small. He imagined to kiss them when then others would have turned their back, like a secret thing. Then, like an automaton, he closed his eyes when his friend slipped his hand to his neck, stroking the little hairs on the birth of his skullcap, while receiving flashes of pleasure where he should not have. His heartbeat was fast and his head was screaming; Kiss him! Kiss Harry! But his body was petrified at the thought that Harry would understand and pushes him, he was petrified at the thought of ruining everything. At the same time, a little voice in his head told him to fuck off. If he pushes him, although they would eventually pass over that if and if he did it once for all, he would be finally sure of something whether Harry would kiss him back or not.
But something happened, something that he would not even have thought about it being possible one day. Lips, rough and small, were collided with his. Initially surprised, he then proceed to realize that this was not the fruit of his imagination, and when he felt Harry's fingers dig into his hips, he moaned, clutching his neck colliding close to him. Then, came those games of tongue and touches, which went there and everywhere on the others body, touching a muscle exposed, or a hollowed hip, projecting chills everywhere through the spine of the other. In the heat of the moment, Dougie stood in knee beside Harry, still without letting his lips and he felt him also turn to face him, then reluctantly, he let Harry stand back, just enough to stick his head to his, leaving Harry with a triple eye.
« Wow… I … Dougie I … wow… I mean… I had this urge to kiss you so bad… »
« I… I'm… Harry… so… sor… what? »
« Dougie ... I'm sorry you might hate me ... Now I well ... I just ... I did not ... »
He looked at Harry get up to go fanned the fire which had begun to fade and he looked at his back muscles contracted, it was quite the time that has to choose to go to him, told him to face him and just kiss him back. Embracing him by behind, he pressed his lips against his shoulder blade and with a small voice, he whispered;
« Hazzy… I've… I've missed you so… so much… you know… and… this… this feeling we were talking about earlier… I… I have it… now… close to you… »
« You know Dougie… those vacations I had with my family? That… That was basically because of my coming out… I… I'm gay Dougie. »
Suddenly, it was as if the earth had stopped spinning, as if the storm had stopped roaring outside ... Harry was gay. This may explain some things, but the things that can be worst were that Harry had kept it as a secret to him. And, why was he hiding it from him then? ...
Retreating, he assimilated the shock gradually, not knowing if he should explain to Harry that he was in love with him, though he's not gay. Then, looking at him, he sighed, looking at the floor;
« … I'll… I'll go to bed… good night Harry… »
And he went to his room, where he let the pressure felt back on his shoulders.
R&R much appreciated and i'll post the next chapter soooon
