~The Battle of the Green Fields~
Now, Bilbo's Took side of the family was rumoured to indulge in Dragon Pee, an extremely rare and expensive liquid (since dragons are harder are becoming harder to come by), that is only mentioned as a joke amongst the Hobbits of the Shire. Bilbo's great granduncle Bandobras (Bullroarer) Took, known for his exceptional stature, being five feet and five inches tall was the tallest hobbit on record. He was large enough to ride a horse; and he gained his fame for leading hobbits into The Battle of the Greenfields as he charged through the ranks of the Goblins of Mt. Gram as they invaded the Northfarthing. He even knocked off the Goblin Chief Golfimbul's head clean off with a wooden club (a statue in the Shire depicts this in honour of him). But in truth, victory belonged to his great grand uncle Giuseppe Took who was the one to discover the effects of Dragon pee and pass it down his line. You might hear the witty remarks about the 'Tookish Fever' which, in actual fact, refers to a line of drunk hobbits.
Bandobras had known his kindred were far too weak and shy to battle the ferocious orcs of Mt. Gram, so he had tricked them to drink barrels of ale spiked with dragons Pee by hosting the 'greatest drinking game of the century'. In a matter of minutes a horde of drunk hobbits became not unlike fearless fighting Uruk hai (however, the constant flatulations was a major drawback). During the Second Age, Sauron considered harnessing the power of drunk hobbits, however the major problems were that industrial production of methanol was impractical at the time and he did not want to endure the smell of hobbit farts. Unfortunately many of the hobbit children, who had less tolerance to Dragon Pee, fell with spasms and foamed at the mouth, but no notice was taken. Whilst the Dragons pee tool effect, Bandobras, also slightly drunk, made a great speech:
The Orcs hath come to take all our ale and all our beef
But uphold this day, for there shall be no grief!
for we are the hobbits of great and undying belief
that we will die before they take our Longbottom Leaf!
At the words of 'Longbottom leaf' the hobbits became berserk; they thrashed and kicked things, that served to strike more fear into the blackened hearts of the Orcs. As the orcs marched down the North Farthings green hills like black ants, they were surprised to behold an unfamiliar sight. A great angry horde of agitated hobbits with hot red faces, armed with pitch forks and shovels, chanting jiberish, whom the orcs thought was elven tongue and feared this. Bandobras was mounted on a large white horse of Rohan, and whilst upholding a great solid stump he had plucked from the ground, he shouted:
The age of orcs is over; the time of the hobbit has come!
Charge!
And so a great fear dawned upon the orcs who were overwhelmingly repelled (also partly because of the smell). Some orcs tried to flee but were outrun by the quick nimble feet of hobbits, who tackled them and beat their miserable faces with their hands. Bandobras charged through the ranks of falling orcs and, without any hesitation, with a great swing with his stump he sent the head of the orc king flying beyond the hills. Thus ended the Battle of the Green Fields. Later on, as Bandobras raided the Orc's tunnels, he came across the head of Golfimbul the Orc king in a rabbit hole, hence inventing the game of golf.
There were only slight casualties on the hobbits side, a feat that is marvelled by both men and elves. An on this particular day of every year, hobbits raise their ales to celebrate this victory.
Many of Bandobras' adventures were largely heard of in their shire, as they were dismissed after their bizarre nature.
