A/N: Wow! This is getting more parts than first planned. I can't seem to write Hetalia without angst. Even the Crack has angst! Angst! Angst! Angst!

TRANSLATIONS CHANGE!- Decided to halt the lingual carnage. From now on using all English, except for common known foreign words and endearments. Pazdravlyayoo! = Congratulations!

Fandom: Hetalia

Summary: A Day in the Life of Doctor Yao.

Pairings: Ivan/Yao, Frances/Arthur, Toris/Feliks

Warnings: AU, Shonen-Ai, Rampant OOC, Mpreg, Angst, Cursing

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this fan fiction. In certain cases incidents, characters and timelines have been changed for dramatic purposes. Certain characters may be composites, or entirely fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Doctor Yao. Here for You, Aru. Pt. II

XXX

"Such good fortune! Conception at an advanced age is miraculous indeed! Continue with clean living and Doctor will help you deliver a healthy baby in the future. Guaranteed, aru!"

Francis Bonnefoy purred like a golden lion who'd just eaten a scrumptious bunny.

Arthur Kirkland sat petrified like a scrumptious pregnant bunny.

Stuttering for a moment, the Englishman popped up and pointed an enraged finger at the glee-filled predator seated beside him. "That's… that's… impossible! The blasted test must be wrong! The bastard ejaculates dust, for Christ's sake!"

The physician smiled back serenely. "Must be magical dust for the test is true. I checked four times to make sure. No mistakes with Doctor Yao, aru!"

Arthur slumped back into his seat, burying his face in his hands. "Our children are having a baby of their own. We're so old. The idea of me giving birth now is preposterous."

"About this very matter," Doctor Yao signaled to Nurse Kiku, who placed a rather large basket filled to overflowing with various bottles and boxes between the surprised elder couple. "Mr. Kirkland has a history of drinking to excess. Do you not, aru?"

Arthur hesitantly nodded. "A long time ago. It ended with my marriage to Francis. I don't go near the stuff anymore."

Francis thought back on all the times Alfred had to sleepover because his father had gone on another week-long bender. He discovered later all the drinking stemmed from guilt over the 'sinful' love for the married Frenchman.

The Doctor glanced over different test results with various cluckings of the tongue. "Regrettable. Bone density strong. Circulation good. Liver not so good. Much damage. Filtration poor. Build-up over time hurt kidneys. Vast healing to be done before baby sees world. Mr. Kirkland, do you smoke every day, aru?"

Arthur wished he could sink into the floor. "Purely when I'm stressed. I write for a living and the deadlines can be murder at times."

The physician knocked the table with a strong knuckle. "Aiyah! Smoking never good for little one. Three months already gone. Great healing to be done, aru."

Francis watched as the silent Englishman mentally tore himself to shreds in seconds. Moving the basket up, he shoved his chair over and took hold of his guilt-ridden mate. "Stop. I see what you are doing. It is the reason we are here. The Doctor shall heal you and ensure our baby is born healthy. He is the best in the city. I made sure of it."

Doctor Yao waved his arms. The long sleeves flapping with the breeze. "Of course! Of course! All part of service. This is what basket is for. Follow daily regimen and all will be well. Mr. Kirkland will be twenty years healthier after baby born. Guaranteed, aru!"

The distressed couple jumped when a packed folder was handed from behind by a silent Kiku.

The Chinese man's hands danced in the air. "Follow natural extract and tea program, please, until baby born. No smoke. No drink for Mother. What Father do? I no care. Complete bed rest through second trimester. No walk. No exercise. Bouncy-bounce no good for baby. Little one still unsure whether to stay or go. We make sure baby stay put, aru!"

With Francis reading over his shoulder, Arthur leafed through the schedule. "I don't mind not exercising, and my editor has been on me to take a vacation, but this regimen seems impossible. By the end, I'll have tea coming out of every orifice."

The professional shrugged with a sigh. "Yet Mr. Kirkland will have a healthy baby, aru."

Placing the folder back on his lap, Arthur directed a frightened gaze to the father of his child. "I guess that's all that matters."

Francis drew his love in for a grateful kiss. "Oui."

XXX

Shocked into silence, Doctor Yao stared at the seven-month pregnant mini-skirted spectacle sitting in front of his desk. "Dooocterrrrr, the situation is totally uncool. Like I wake up in the morning, see Liet's big woody and say Ohmigod! He comes home for lunch, which I totally don't nag him into, and I think Ohmigod! He wants to sleep, because he's exhausted after working like a dog, and all I can think of is OH. MY. GOOOOD! Dooocterrrrr, make it stooop."

The perplexed Chinese man's eyebrows met in the middle. "Aru?"

Feliks Łukasiewicz nervously fiddled with his wedding ring. "Oh shit. Hah. Totally forgot number one rule. Do not ramble. The point is I'm horny, pregnant, and fat. Liet tells me he's okay with the sex, which would be awesome, except I can totally tell he's lying. Is there a way to like turn the switch off until I get ungross again?"

The Doctor looked around. "Ah, I understand better. Is Mr. Laurinaitis sitting in the Waiting Room, aru?"

The blond fidgeted in place. "Like yeeeaah. So old-fashioned. Whenever I try to get him in here, he like murmurs some bullshit about propriety and sits down out there. Don't get me wrong. He's totally supportive at home, but get him out in public and he turns into an old man. It shouldn't turn me on, but it totally does. Crazy, huh?"

Nodding his head, the petite Asian walked out of his office to bring the subject of the problem back in.

To Yao's surprise, his husband, Ivan Braginski, had shown up early for lunch.

The Russian's huge shadow blanketed the resolute green-eyed man sitting in the chair. "Toris Laurinaitis. My sister, Natalya, informs me your bride will be bearing a child soon. Pazdravlyayoo! Perhaps it is time for your tiny little company to become one with mine once more. Your particular 'services' have been greatly missed, da."

Grimacing with disgust, Toris stood up and walked towards the inner office past the Doctor's still figure. "I swore to Feliks and myself I would never work with you again. For the last time, leave me alone."

Yao glared at his softly smiling husband as he heard Toris close the door behind him. "Marriage promise broken. In my own office. Such betrayal is unforgivable, aru!"

Before Ivan could react, his iron head met with the harder bottom of a wok. "Ah! The daily metal kiss of my Yao is a blessing, da!"

The Doctor slipped the wok back into his sleeve. "I take eye away for small second and idiot husband falls back into gutter with the trash. Little Sister spoke truth! Never trust a crying Russian bear. I take my babies and live at Mei's house. Next time you see them will be at college graduation, aru!"

Righting himself on his knees from where he had fallen on the floor, Ivan hugged Yao's wiggling body, hiding his face against the fast-beating heart of his love. "Legitimate work, Yao. Completely legal. I swear on Katyusha's soul, since Big Sister's is pure and mine is filled with rot. Do not threaten to leave with little sunflowers. The thought makes my brain rage and heart bleed, da."

Yao answered with a hiss and a sound bonk to a fair-haired head. "Aiyah! Ultimate rule! Crazy Bear never rages near spouse or babies, aru!

The big Russian seemed on the verge of unmanly tears. "Then do not say leave, da!"

Clucking his tongue, Yao patted down Ivan's ruffled hair in a calming way. "Go. Wait in lunch room until Kiku tells you okay. Why I allowed such a big baby past my door, I do not know. Curiosity, perhaps. Never spied crying Russian Bear away from woods, aru."

Sensing all was forgiven for the time being, Ivan jumped up with a smile, swung his yelling mate around once and stalked towards the lunch room.

Quaking in high-heeled white nursing shoes, Kiku sidled up to his indignant sibling. "Big Brother, I realize you love Ivan, but the Bear truly is a dangerous man. All the latest mafia and drug dealer killings could not have been ordered solely from the old German District."

Yao placed a hand over the one Kiku settled on his arm. "True. Mr. Edelstein swears demon-eyed husband stopped taking jobs at his request. Such wonderful talent married to scary madman. I hope piano player is well, aru."

Kiku gulped. "Actually, Mr. Edelstein and Mr. Beilschmidt are scheduled to be your next appointment after lunch."

The Doctor hid his face in his sleeves. "So troublesome. If Ivan sees crazy albino, there will be no end to the bad luck. We must make sure they do not meet, aru."

Kiku remembered the last time and shivered. "Absolutely."

XXX

Meanwhile, in the Doctor's inner office, Feliks continued to play with his grumpy husband's hair. "Liiiieeeet, what's wrong? I can't sex it better if I don't know the damage. Come on, Liiiieeeet. 'Fess up."

Toris pulled his head away, ignoring the big pout which followed. "Braginski showed up, attempting to recruit me again. The man's relentless. If this continues, I swear I'm siding with Ludwig. Since he married Feliciano Vargas, the German family's gone completely legitimate. I wouldn't have to look behind my back anymore."

The pregnant blond rested his cheek against a strong shoulder. "You totally sure? Word on the street is Gilbert's taking contracts again. I don't get it. Like I totally understood when Roderich was sick. The hospital bills were insane, but I heard Roderich's gotten totally healthier under Doctor Yao's care."

Toris laid his head on top of Feliks's. "It's why I set you up with him when we first found out about the baby. All the mothers and babies under Doctor Yao's care have survived and thrived. No matter the odds. We went through so much crap growing up. Once I convinced you to marry me, I swore you would never want for anything. Only the best for my Feliks."

The blushing mini-skirted figure wrapped glitter-powdered arms around his man. "Damn. Why do you have to be so fuckable? My quest to be less horny is totally failing. I know! Take a good look and tell me how gross and fat I am."

Instead of doing as requested, Toris caressed his mate's cheek and leaned in for a deep kiss.

When he raised his head, the Lithuanian had Feliks's sticky sweet bubble gum in his mouth. "The only time you've been more beautiful was the night we conceived this baby."

Whining with need, Feliks ground himself against a deceptively lean body. "Liiiieeet, that's like so unfair! We can't even fuck in the car when we leave. The car's totally too small and my fat belly gets in the way."

Toris placed a proprietary hand over the bump. "This is not fat. This is our baby."

Feliks giggled with agreement. "Yeah. It like blows my mind. We're totally going to be parents in two months. Awesome."

In a flurry, Doctor Yao entered with a multitude of clapping. "Very good. Very good. Much sex promote healthy labor. Keep muscles firm and exercised. Now listen to Doctor and listen well, aru!"

Feliks started when the diminutive physician made a fast bye-bye wave in his general direction. "You! Glitter boy! Do not ignore when body talk. Body wants sex? Give body sex. Masturbate when husband at work if have to. No shame. Good for health, birth, baby, and after baby, aru!"

"And you!" Toris's green eyes widened as the wave was sent his way. "When girly boy raise little skirt, give sex. Sex until glitter sweat off. Good for birth, baby, and marriage! Silly talking man no care if husband work late if unconscious from quality sex. Follow Doctor Yao's advice and I will help you deliver a healthy baby in the future. Guaranteed, aru!"

The couple looked towards each other

Toris shrugged with a smile. "I did take the whole day off. We should follow the Doctor's orders as soon as possible."

Feliks played with his husband's precisely ironed shirtfront. "The car's still totally too small and the bitchy neighbors complain like crazy when we fuck during the day."

The brunet bent forward to whisper and bestow a quick lick to a pierced earlobe. "It's why I booked a hotel room this morning."

Feliks's drum-shattering squeal made Kiku drop his magazine at the Reception Desk. "Totally cool! But can we really afford it, Liet?"

Toris had to shake his head to clear the ringing before he could reply with a heartfelt embrace. "Only the best for my Feliks."