I just found out I have an approaching deadline to finish this story by. So, without further ado, chapter two!
I May Just Be Crazy About You
Chapter 2 – Kidnappers & Food
Chad's POV
James, Skyler, Jake, and I are sitting in the back of a van that Daniel is driving, heading to the town market. Jake wants us to help him and his girlfriend run away together, and to do that, we've got to kidnap her, because she has a really mean fiancé. Not nice. Apparently she's got these huge bodyguards that are women, but are as strong as men. I'm scared; I don't wanna get into a fight with them and ruin my face. My face is too awesome to be ruined, and plastic surgery is the most tragic thing that could possibly happen to me!
"Man, that bike thing last week was embarrassing." I say, thinking out loud. "That stupid bike store guy had the nerve to give me a bike with failed brakes!"
"Uh, Chad?" James says.
"What?"
"There was nothing wrong with the bike." He replies.
"Then how did the brakes fail?" I ask.
"The brakes didn't fail. You just can't ride a bike, Chad." Jake says.
"I can too!"
"We know you can't." Skyler says.
"But - Oh, fine. Maybe I can't. But still, if it wasn't for me, that bank robber would still be running free!" I say. They all agree to that – well, I'm just that awesome. Suddenly, the van stops. We all get out, and look around.
"Guys, be careful. Melissa has these four man-like lady bodyguards surrounding her; they almost killed me once!" Jake warns us.
"Dude, chill. We'll be fine." I say, and sigh. Jake is out of his mind, for wanting to run away with this girl and get married. I mean, he's only a little older than me – what idiot would want to, like, willingly imprison themselves?
"Wait…how will we recognise her?" I ask.
"We can find her using these." Jake holds a pair of binoculars up to his eyes, and looks through them, grinning and almost drooling.
"Man, are you gonna marry her from a distance or something?" I ask, and snatch the binoculars from him. Skyler, Daniel, and James laugh at my comment, and I look. "Okay, which one is she?"
"She's standing right there, next to the book store, in the purple dress." Jake replies. I focus the binoculars on the girl, and I'm in total shock. How could an idiot like Jake get a girl this hot?
I'm just standing here, doing what I do best – being me. And she comes strolling in, looking like some pretty angel. She's really pretty, like walking talking vanilla ice cream, if you get what I mean.
"She's your girlfriend?" I ask Jake in shock. I mean, he's just…average. And she's like…amazing. She's totally out of his league!
"Whaddya mean?" He asks angrily.
"She actually loves you?" I ask, still shocked. Like…what the hell?
"Yeah, I told you. She does." He replies simply.
"Ya, okay. I just still can't believe it… I mean, she's freakin' sexy!" I say, looking through the binoculars again. Heck, I could just stand here looking at her all day.
"Dude, lemme see." Skyler says.
"Fine." I hand him the binoculars. "She's right over there, in the purple dress."
He holds the binoculars up, looking shocked as well.
"Oh my God! Jake, you're marrying her? Are you mad? And Chad, you think she's hot?" Skyler yells at us.
"Dude, she's gone mad to elope with this idiot!" I yell.
"Yeah, she'll elope with him, but is he crazy, to want to marry her?" He yells.
"You fool, you're pitying him? I feel sorry for her!" I say, hitting Skyler on the head. He looks angry but says nothing, just like it should be: I hit people, and they shut up.
"Oh, shut up, guys! If we don't kidnap Melissa today, we're not gonna get another chance!" Jake says worriedly. "Look, there are no guards around her either. Hurry!"
"Ya, ya. We're going. Have you told her we're coming to kidnap her?" I say.
"Yep. The codeword is 'baby, you so fly like a G6'!" He says. Gosh, this idiot… I make a freaked out face at him, and walk away stealthily to kidnap this girl. Seriously, if she wasn't going to marry him, I'd make her mine. Well, not if she wanted to marry me, of course. I ain't even gonna think about getting married so soon.
"Chad! She's a little angry with me, please try to handle it!" He calls after, and I continue to walk.
"Okay, like Jake said, the guards aren't here." I murmur, loud enough for only Skyler, who is helping me, to hear.
"It's a good chance." He says.
"Ya. You go that way. Say the codeword to her if you find her and take her back to the van. And text me, I'll come soon. Over and out." I say. He nods, walking in the opposite direction. I continue to walk, and discreetly follow Melissa, waiting until she's completely alone.
"Chad!" Skyler yells, suddenly running into me and startling me. "Do you have $180?"
"Why d'you want $180?" I ask him.
"Well, I have $20. That idiot, Jake, is trying to save money! Melissa says she'll come anywhere with us for $200!" He replies worriedly.
"What the hell are you saying?" I ask him. How could a girl that looks like this, say something like that?
"Yeah, look! She's ready!" He replies, pointing to some random, fat old woman, who is winking and waving at us.
"You dimwit, who's she?" I ask.
"Melissa!" He says, pointing at the woman.
"That's not Melissa!" I yell, grabbing him by the collar. "You go wait in the van, I'll get her." I push him away, and he runs to the van. Right, now back to my mission. Melissa is talking to the manager of the pet store, looking pretty angry. The store manager runs away, and I grab my chance.
"Baby, you so fly like a G6." What kind of stupid codeword…
"You're gonna make me fly on a G6 for this dog?" She yells.
"Dog?" I ask, shocked. I mean, Jake said she's angry, but really? "Look, madam, I know you're angry, but don't call him a dog!"
"Okay, not a dog then. A puppy." She says.
"Puppy? Uh, okay. Puppy it is then – whatever you call him, he's yours anyway." I say, trying to end this. I thought Jake had told her we're going to kidnap her, but she seems totally clueless!
"So, where is he?" She asks.
"He – he's in the van. Let's go." I reply.
"Good."
"Good."
"Fine."
"Fine."
"Let's go!" She says. We walk towards the van.
"Okay, wait here. I'll go get him." I say. She sighs, and I run to where the van is parked.
"Hey, you dog!" I yell at Jake.
"Dog?" He yells.
"I didn't say it, she did! She's furious! Come on." I reply, dragging him out of the van to where Melissa is standing.
"Melissa!" He says, running off in another direction.
"Dude, where are you going?" I drag him back. "She's Melissa, puppy."
"What?" Melissa says.
"Who did you kidnap?" Jake asks me.
"Kidnap? What do you mean?" Melissa asks.
"Wait, she isn't your girlfriend?" I ask Jake.
"No…" He replies.
"Haha, good." I say, grinning at her.
"What's good?" She yells.
"Oh, sorry, uh…" I say.
"Sonny." She says. Haha, nice name.
"Yeah, Sonny. We, uh, came here to kidnap this girl, and –"
"Kidnap?" She yells.
"No, no, no!" We all protest.
"Kidnappers!" She yells. "Someone call the police!" Shit…
"Chad, why are you standing here? Melissa is leaving! Look, she's going with those guards!" Jake yells. He points to a not-so-pretty girl, walking away with two bodyguards. Man, those guys – or girls, I can't tell which – are scary!
"Oh, don't worry, dude. I've got a plan B." I say, and we commence my back-up plan.
Daniel, James, Skyler, and I walk into the restaurant, like we own the place, after successfully helping Jake run away with the real Melissa. We head to our usual table. Some idiot has the nerve to be sitting there? I slap his head, and he scurries away. I sit down, and put my feet up on the table.
A waiter comes up to us, grinning. "Ah, so you're here again."
"Yeah. Now, shut up and write down our order. One of everything, dude!" I say, and he writes that down.
"Okay, that'll be $500." The waiter says, grinning, "Pay up."
"You want us to pay the bill before we get the food? Since when was that a rule?" I ask him.
"It's a great rule," Another guy comes walking in, saying, "It's been made especially for freeloaders like you!" I stand up.
"Actually, dad," I smile innocently, "You see, we're a little tight on money right now." I say. Yep. He's my dad.
"Business is business. You're only my son as far as home is concerned. Here, you're all just customers, like anyone else." He says angrily. Yeah, we've been coming here every day since forever, taking free food from my dad's restaurant.
"Okay, Mr Charles Cooper." I say, and smirk, putting my sunglasses back on and sitting down.
"You shameless fool! How dare you say your father's name?" Dad yells.
"So I can't call you dad, and I can't say your name. So what the hell am I meant to say?" I ask.
"Don't say anything, and pay up." He says.
"Yo, Daniel? Gimme the keys." I say.
"But, my dad…" He says, nervously.
"Your dad is a great man." I say, and snatch the van keys from him.
"Yeah, yeah, and I'm the devil." Dad says.
"The van is expensive, dad. I'll pay tomorrow, and come to collect it." I say, handing dad the keys. This is my best trick ever.
"Okay." He snatches the keys from me, and turns to the waiter. "Bring the food."
"And make sure it's all fresh, not like, left over from yesterday or something." I say to him. He glares at me. "Hey, what's that look for? Bring the food." I smirk, and my friends laugh. Dad glares at me angrily, and turns around to get it.
Nobody can resist being persuaded by the CDC!
Reviewy? :)
